Unconditionally (Brown County #4) (16 page)

If I were to walk any faster, then it would be considered a sprint, I was pressed for time and I had no one to blame but myself. I hated being anything later than what was considered fashionably late but it seemed as if I’d developed the inability to say no to people when they were in need.

Putting the key in the ignition, I started my car, put it in reverse and looked in the rearview mirror only to see that a car was blocking my path. But not just any car, a sheriff cruiser.

My first thought as I put my car back into park and jumped out of my seat was what was Charlie doing here? But as I shut my driver’s door it was Ethan who was getting out of the cruiser. His chest was heaving as his eyes portrayed pure and utter raw passion, I felt my breath hitch as he stalked closer towards me.

“Wha-what are you doing here?” That was the hardest sentence I had ever had to formulate, I was stammering as my voice began quivering with expressive need.

He continued to pursue towards me, slinking my way as if he was on the prowl, his eyes never once leaving mine, “I called Emmy Lou’s and Tessa told me you’d be here.”

My response was long forgotten as he pushed me up against the body of my Jeep and crushed his lips to mine. I shuttered with excitement before I parted my lips giving him complete control of my mouth. His tongue swept in and he tasted of cinnamon, so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. My hands reached up to dive into his hair as his lifted and held onto my face as we continued on exploring the depths of each other’s mouths. I was completely into the moment and the question as to why Ethan was kissing me never even crossed my mind.

He was the first to break the kiss as he pulled away from me. Once he opened his eyes they went straight to my mouth.

“Those lips, so soft and perfect.” He took a deep breath before he pressed his lips to mine once again, but this time in a quick, chaste kiss but no less intoxicating.

This time when he broke the kiss he rested his forehead against mine as I was trying to catch my breath, he paused a moment before speaking. “Toby,” he breathed against my parted mouth, “choose me instead, take a chance on me.” My breath hitched in my throat, this entire encounter came out of left field. Perhaps I should have listened to Tessa more last night when she was recapping Ethan’s actions. Was I that obtuse that I couldn’t see underneath Ethan’s cocky antics was a man with a crush?

When his body left mine, I immediately missed his touch, his warmth. The look now in his eyes as he backed away from me, towards his car, hypnotized me. I had been stunned speechless for the second time in as many days and by two different men who were now vying for my affection. Things like this didn’t happen to people like me.

Here I was, placed in the position to where I had two very different men to choose from, if this were to happen to anyone else I would be completely jealous, but the fact of the matter since it’s happening to me, I didn’t envy myself one bit. I was confused now more than ever; Australia and its cold climate was looking more and more appealing right about now.

Toby

I don’t know how I made it to Emmy Lou’s all in one piece since I wasn’t aware I had arrived until I was sitting in the parking lot staring off into space. There was absolutely no time for me to sit here and worry about what’s going to happen, I had to get ready for my show.

Retrieving my duffel that was placed in the back seat, I struggled getting out of my Jeep. I felt as if I was being restrained, as if some higher power was sending me a message to not go into the bar. A set of feminine arms appeared snaking around my waist, my eyes finally focused on what was going on and they shifted to the left and I saw Sheridan’s face, as she was smiling brightly at me.

“Hey, doll.”

“Uh, Toby, in order to get out of the car you have to actually unbuckle your seatbelt.”

Having no idea what she was talking about I looked down to see that’s what her hands were doing, trying to unbuckle so I could actually get out.

“I was on my way in when I saw your car door open and you were struggling to get out.” Her eyes roved over my face, and her smile died and changed into a look of concern. “Toby are you alright? Are you nervous for the show?”

Finally snapping out of it, I jumped free of my Jeep and ran inside with my duffel in tow. “The show!” I screeched, “I’ve got to finish getting ready. I’ll be ready for our song,” I yelled back as I continued rushing inside and to the back.

The time had come for us to step on stage and get the ball rolling on starting the show. I counted at least a dozen people asking me countless times if I was feeling alright and even remarks that I looked like hell. My hair was a mess and my clothing choices lacked its Toby flare, if this what rock bottom looked like, then I was officially living it.

My mind would go from wanting one guy one minute to wanting the other the next, if this continued then I may as well admit myself for psychiatric therapy because I was going to go insane.

Walking out onto the stage the crowd was even bigger than last night and if there was any time for a fake smile, now was definitely it. I approached the mic stand and looked down at my choice of tonight’s clothing. Black skinny jeans paired with a slim fitting black v neck t-shirt, I certainly picked a winning statement. The only thing about this entire wardrobe that made me feel a little bit better were my bright red Doc Martin boots, I was ready as I would ever be.

As my eyes were still trained on the ground, all eyes from the crowd were upon me to begin my usual spiel, I sensed it as Ethan came through the doors and I peeked up to see Gio in the very middle of the crowd amongst the other patrons. Glancing to my right, I was correct with my assumption as I watched Ethan walk to an open seat at the bar. He was on duty tonight, but since how most of Brown County was here, it wasn’t uncommon that the Sheriff’s Department made an appearance to make sure people were on their best behavior.

I swallowed deeply trying to get rid of all thoughts but music, shoved a hand through my disheveled hair, and introduced the band.

My speech was cut way short and was void of any and all enthusiasm.

“Pssh Toby,” I turned around to look at Charlie, “dude, pull it together.”

I needed to pull my head out of my ass and stop letting everyone down. Nodding my head, I indicated that I was ready to begin.

The first song went on without a hitch and towards the middle I was back to spinning and smiling at the crowd. I was trying my best to keep my problems in the back of my mind and not worry about them until it was absolutely time.

By the end of the show I looked to Sheridan in the crowd and gave her a wink so she knew it was time and then looked back at Mike and Charlie. “Guys why don’t you go ahead and take a seat in the audience. A few of us have a little something cooked up for one of you, you know I’m bad at surprises so you’re extremely lucky I’ve waited this long.”

Brock had disappeared behind the curtain so he could push the old upright piano onto the stage that had a residence of its own in the backroom. Mike and Charlie each gave me confused expressions but they complied sitting down at the table that the girls, minus Sheridan was occupying.

Given the nod of approval by Brock, I could now spill the beans. I placed the microphone back on the stand and looked back to see Brock seated on a barstool with his acoustic guitar resting on his lap.

“Ladies and gentleman, Brock and I would like to introduce you to Sheridan Nichols.” I extended my hand in her direction as she graced the stage with her presence, waved and smiled at the audience, then took her place on the bench behind the piano. “Several months ago Sheridan was brought to Brown County in a less than pleasant way but has took this town by storm with her piano playing capabilities and is now known as the best piano teacher this place has ever seen.” The blush crept up her cheeks and she looked down at her hands, “As you may know her and Mike are set to be married soon and she wanted this chance to play a special song for him. And you know me, I jumped at the chance to sing with this beautiful soul, so sit back and listen to this amazing song about love and hope.”

My heartbeat increased as I was reminded this was the last song and no doubt an incredible song about love. I looked towards the ceiling and prayed that I would have my answer by the end.

Sheridan adjusted her mic to where it was placed just right at her lips, then gave me a small smile. She looked down at the eighty-eight keys of the piano and began the first notes to “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri.

As she sang the first verse to the song I looked out into the crowd, more specifically to Gio and Ethan, their eyes never leaving mine. Taking a deep breath, I raised the microphone to my mouth and began singing my part to the song.

By the time the chorus rolled around everything was suddenly clear and just like the lyrics in the song, all my doubt faded away. Goose bumps covered my flesh at the thought of finally knowing what I was going to do, who I was going to give my heart to. I took the mic off of the stand so I could move around the stage, I was absolutely giddy with excitement and there was no possible way that I could keep still.

Once the lyrics were done and Sheridan and Brock were finishing up the end of the song, I decided that I couldn’t wait a second longer. I dropped the mic on the stage which made a resounding thud, and I jumped down off the platform and made my way through the crowd to collect my man…

Gio

Hanging up the phone with Toby, I just knew that I had this in the bag since he’d invited me to the show tomorrow night. I was surprised as hell when Mag Pie called and told me that he wanted me to attend the show tonight so I didn’t hesitate in coming, of course I had to cancel a date, but this was for Toby.

Once he sang those two songs more or less to me I knew that I was on the verge of completely losing him, he was giving up. We had been broken up for over a year now but whenever I tagged along with Maggie I could still see the desire for me lingering in the depths of his eyes, so I just knew he still had remaining feelings for me.

Did I love him? I couldn’t really say for certain but I knew that I could once we were back together again. Was I an absolute bastard for deceiving him? Without a doubt, but I didn’t know that it would feel so great being wanted. I have had too many one night stands to count in which the men just wanted to brag that they actually got to sleep with me and then move on. No one came back wanting more other than Toby. Life was a scary place to spend it alone and now that I was actually out about being a gay man it was even worse. Toby’s positivity and just being with him made things a little bit easier.

But I was wrong in the way I treated him in the past, acting as if I was embarrassed to be with him, I just wanted to show him that people could change, that I could change. And with time I could learn to love Toby, I knew I could.