Read Unconditionally Single Online
Authors: Mary B. Morrison
Unconditionally Single
Maneater
(with Noire)
Who’s Loving You
Sweeter than Honey
When Somebody Loves You Back
Nothing Has Ever Felt Like This
Somebody’s Gotta Be on Top
He’s Just a Friend
Never Again Once More
Soul Mates Dissipate
Who’s Making Love
Justice Just Us Just Me
Coauthored with Carl Weber
She Ain’t the One
Mary B. Morrison writing as HoneyB
Sexcapades
Single Husbands
Presented by Mary B. Morrison
Diverse Stories: From the Imaginations of Sixth Graders
(an anthology of fiction written by thirty-three sixth graders)
Kensington Publishing Corp.To Selena James, my wonderful editor
every second
of every day
singles have
the right of way
Date:
Given to:
Given by:
Personal message:
If you have not read the Honey Diaries, please note that
Unconditionally Single
is the third book in a trilogy.
Sweeter than Honey
is book 1 and
Who’s Loving You
is book 2. I strongly advise reading the series in order. Enjoy!
Part I
unconditionally single—a person who understands his/her relationship needs, communicates effectively, willingly compromises, and refuses to settle
Before reading
Unconditionally Single,
I’d like for you to take a moment to identify your relationship needs. These are the things you must have in order to cultivate a healthy union with the person you’d like to marry or consider your life partner.
After identifying your needs, list your desires. These are the hobbies or things you enjoy and would love to do with or without your mate.
Next, let your imagination explore your deepest childhood and sexual fantasies. Take a moment to do this now.
Some of you already know; others wonder, What is my passion? You absolutely positively
must
permit yourself personal time to discover your passion. What drives you? Excites you? Exhilarates you? Your primary passion usually stems from a greater humanitarian purpose. For me, I love my son unconditionally and I live to write. I write to live. I write to make a positive difference in somebody’s life. I pray that person is you.
I find that most individuals cannot
readily
identify their personal or relationship needs. Nor do they discuss being in a relationship with a prospective mate. They kind of meet a person they’re attracted to, then they stumble into “like,” trip into love, then slip into hate or resentment—never having asked the other person, “What are your relationship needs?” Or “What do you need from me in order for us to have a healthy relationship?”
Somewhere along the way, perhaps months, maybe years after meeting, they get to know one another for real. They tire of being possessed or possessive. Qualities once admired become annoying. Some find out that money and material acquisitions—the house, the car, the clothes—are more important to their mate than love. The one with the most money feels entitled to control the other person. Sex once a day, once a week, once a month, or in some cases once a year is either too much or not enough. In creeps emotional and physical infidelity. “If my woman or my man refuses to fulfill my needs,
I have the right
to get my sexual needs met elsewhere.” The person who makes this decision becomes upset if he or she discovers the mate cheating. In creep disrespect, misery, and relationship disaster.
When a woman or teenage girl gets pregnant, she automatically expects the man to do all the right things for her and their child. Most women hope the man will marry her because she’s carrying his baby. Instead, the man feels trapped. He stands on the fifty-yard line for nine months like he’s watching a football game—drinking beer, chilling with his boys, bragging about his other woman, what he did to and with her last night. All the while he’s waiting for the fourth quarter to end, waiting for her third trimester to conclude, and praying there is a flag on the play, that his request for a review of the play—a DNA test—will reveal he is not the father, mainly so he doesn’t have to pay child support. But he’d flip a coin on the child’s paternity, not caring if he gets heads or tails as long as she’ll let him fuck her again.
Clueless about how much day care, diapers, and the daily cost of providing for a child is, she gives birth, barely closing her legs before her six-week checkup and he’s back. Clueless that one night of pleasure could bring her a lifetime of emotional and financial hardships, she ends up pregnant again. So goes the story.
The natural progression of blind love and lust eventually leads to resentment for both partners. Thus begins the battle of the sexes to see who can emotionally and physically destroy the other person first. These relationship tragedies can be avoided or minimized through effective communication and safe sex; more importantly, both individuals must enter the relationship knowing their needs.
Unconditionally single does not mean you don’t desire marriage. I’m encouraging you to know yourself, know what you need and desire before getting married or becoming involved with someone. The majority of people do not know what wedding vows they are committing to on the day they marry. Please, if you’re getting married, I strongly advise you to write your own vows. Do not stand at the altar reciting commitments you’ve never read.
Unless you are 100 percent sure you want to be a parent, do not get pregnant. Share what’s important to you with your potential mate. I urge all men and women to read The Honey Diaries series and
Single Husbands
before getting married.
On my way from the 2008 Antigua & Barbuda Literary Festival, I boarded the plane in Antigua to Miami, settled in my window seat. A newly married couple sat next to me, the wife to my immediate right, her husband next to her. The seemingly happy, giddy, constantly kissing couple couldn’t keep their hands off each other. He lived in Canada. They were headed to Los Angeles to pack her belongings, then drive to their new residence in Canada. Halfway through the flight the husband pulls out two sandwiches, looks at his wife, and asks, “Do you like rye? I wasn’t sure. Or would you prefer the other sandwich?”
My eyebrows raised as I continued reading—Eric Jerome Dickey’s
Sleeping with Strangers—
thinking,
They barely know one another.
Obviously he liked rye, he’d purchased the sandwiches, and he didn’t ask what she wanted. How well should a couple know one another before marrying? Too many marriages end in divorce because people not only sleep with strangers, they marry strangers. Oh well. That couple are probably of the majority who wander in and out of love, life, and relationships wondering why they keep choosing the wrong mates.
I hear some of you asking, “What are Mary B. Morrison’s needs, since she has all the answers?”
Honestly, I don’t have all the answers but I am a thinking woman and I do know my passions, talents, what excites me, and I understand my needs. Like you, as I continue to grow emotionally, my needs change. My basic needs are always clear. I’ll share what’s important to me in the Purpose of Being Unconditionally Single Part II at the end of this novel.
How can we avoid marrying virtual strangers? We can start by talking to them more often. Ladies, one of the things I do often because I seldom cook is dine at nice restaurants. If I’m eating alone, I never request a table. I sit at the bar…strategically next to a great-looking man whenever possible. I’ll also talk to whoever’s seated next to me. I’ve met lots of wonderful women and couples of all races that way. And I frequently engage the bartender in conversation. Genuine compliments are perfect icebreakers. My topics are improvised, but if you’re shy, develop a few questions you’re comfortable asking. Here are a few tips:
- I smile and introduce myself.
- I ask the bartender and the man next to me, “Can you recommend a succulent appetizer?” I ask in such a way to determine if his attention is on the menu or me. I stay focused on the menu.
- I offer to share my appetizer. I love oysters and calamari.
- I find out if he’s local or visiting. If he’s local, I ask, “Where was the last place you vacationed?” If he’s visiting, “So where do you live?” If I haven’t been to his city/state/country, I ask him questions about his town.
- Eventually I engage him in relationship talk. “I’m trying to understand men more. What’s most important to you and why?”
If he’s interested on a personal level, he’ll express his likes. A clear sign that a man is not interested is when he mentions his girlfriend, wife, kids, or family first. That’s the perfect time to pick his brain about relationships because he’s already in one. Once I tell a man I write erotica, married or not he tells me his deepest secrets and fantasies. Then he wants to know more about me. The most common questions I get are: Do you write from experience? Have you been with a woman? Have you had a ménage à trois? Seriously, this happens to me all the time.
Men love to talk openly about relationships, but not with their mates because they have to censor their thoughts. Men love to feel they are educating us. I believe that in reality women are smarter; however conversations work best when ladies are friendly but allow men to take the lead. Women have to follow through with intelligent, intriguing responses. You can ask, “Are you saying that you prefer a woman who cooks or are you saying you have to have a woman who cooks? What if she loves cooking but the food sucks?” Make him laugh.
I’m not reserving or preserving myself or praying for God to send me Mr. Right. Waiting for one good man to call all mine is a waste of my time. I enjoy each man to the extent that I’m interested in him.
To get a glimpse into my outlook on life, read my favorite book in the Bible, Ecclesiastes. After reading the book of Ecclesiastes, you will better understand my definition of
Unconditionally Single
and the significance of your consciously determining what is meaningful to you and why.
