Uncrushable (Forehead Kisses #3) (2 page)

But I ruined that.

I hated myself right now. Actually, loathed myself.

Liam worked hard to squirm his way into my life, doing everything he possibly could to win my heart. Even when I pushed him away, he never gave up. Once his eyes took me in, I was his. I pushed him away for the longest time, but I eventually caved.

And it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

But now he wasn’t mine anymore. I told him repeatedly that I wouldn’t survive it if he hurt me, but in the end, I was the one who wounded him. He’d been through just as much as I had, and yet, I was the one who made him suffer needlessly. I shouldn’t have listened to Adrianna, and I shouldn’t have even entertained the possibility that Liam would betray me.

But I did.

Two months had come and gone without incident. I spent most of my nights in my room, trying to remember the sound of Liam’s breathing late at night. I flipped through pictures of him on my phone, wishing I could feel the faint stubble of his chin. I fantasized about his lips touching mine. I daydreamed that he showed up on my doorstep, ready to take me and all my belongings back to his home.

But that never happened.

If I wanted Liam and I to ever have a chance of a relationship, I’d have to make it happen. I would have to work hard to earn his trust. He said he loved me and wouldn’t be with anyone else, and that was the only thing keeping me strong. I never asked if he was with anyone else in the two months we were apart, but knowing Liam, he hadn’t. I didn’t have faith in him before, but I needed to have it now.

Seeing him at school and around town was almost as painful as not being with him. Every time I looked at that painfully handsome face, I wanted to kiss the corner of his mouth, to show him how much I loved him right there in front of everyone. I wanted to take him to bed, snuggling with him under the covers so I could finally sleep peacefully for a single night. I just wanted him back in my life. The distance and pain was unbearable.

But it was all my fault.

Scotty came into my room without knocking. “Keira, get up.”

“Why?” I lay in bed and stared out my window. The night was ascending, and the glorious Southern California sun was disappearing, taking the light and warmth with it.

“Because you’ve been doing this for months.”

I took a deep breath and stilled my tears. “I don’t have anything better to do.”

“What happened to getting Liam back?”

“I’m working on it…”

“Cutting him off at school isn’t the best way to go about it. Why don’t you stop by his house?”

“But that’s rude…”

“Continue your training. You’ve dropped it and given up.”

“But what if he has company over...?”

Scotty sighed. “Keira, I’ve seen him around. He isn’t with anyone. And believe me, if he were, I’d hear about it. He’s too depressed to pick up on someone. And you should know well enough by now.”

“I do know him,” I said immediately. “But…I guess I get scared he’ll be with someone else because he’ll realize I’m not good enough for him, that I was never good enough for him. He’s always been the strong one, the unbreakable one. All I do is drag him down, causing him more harm than good.”

He sat beside me on the bed, making it dip. “Keira, you know that isn’t true.”

“Yes, it is,” I said bitterly.

“Then change it.”

“How…?”

“Keira seems down in the gutter right now. Pick him up, be the stronger one.”

“He’s completely cut off from me.” The way he looks at me is different. His body posture is defensive. His eyes are guarded, almost frightened. The playfulness had disappeared. All was left was a hollow shell.

“Then open him up,” Scotty said. “Don’t give up on him. In his defense, it has been two months. You never called and you never saw the truth until I told you. It’ll take some serious convincing to make him come back to you, but sitting in this bed moping around isn’t the answer.”

My cousin was right. Even though he’d never been in a serious relationship, he understood how they worked. He was sensitive because he’d taken care of me. Even though he acted like a tough guy with only one thing on his mind, he could be the biggest sweetheart in the world. I wished he would show that side of him to the world, not just to me. “You’re right.”

“I know,” he said with a grin. “If you listened to me more often, you would realize I’m always right.”

“Now you’re getting carried away.” A smile finally formed on my lips.

He stared at me fondly. “There she is.”

I averted my gaze, self-conscious.

“You and Liam aren’t over. Make sure it stays that way.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I never want to lose him.”

“Then head over there and spend some time with him.”

“You really think I should?”

He rubbed his chin then dropped his hand. “I’ve known Liam for a while, and it’s pretty clear how hung up he is on you. Maybe he’ll be defensive and hold back his thoughts, but I know he wants to see you. It’ll make him happy, even if he doesn’t show it.”

That was enough convincing for me. “Okay. I’ll leave now.”

“Good.” He stood up then headed to the door. “Because I’m having some girls over and I don’t want you to see all the nasty stuff going on tonight.”

I put my hands on my hips and gave him a pissed look. “So all that soft talk was just to get rid of me?”

“Yep.” He winked then shut my door.

After I changed into my workout clothes, I drove to Liam’s house. I was so nervous that sweat was forming on my stomach. I didn’t know you could even sweat there.

My heart was pounding, and my ears were thumping. When I listened to the sound of my own breathing, I thought my lungs might collapse. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. I guess I thought he might kick me out.

But then I realized I needed to be strong. I had to push my way back into his life. I couldn’t be soft spoken and polite. I had to be strong with him just like he was with me.

I pulled up in front of his house, but my newly found resilience disappeared. There was a pink Volkswagen parked in the driveway. The license plate read “smile” and there was a sticker of a peace sign on the rear window.

It definitely belonged to a girl.

My mind immediately jumped to the worst possible scenario. He was having sex with her, in the bed I used to sleep in every night. The sheets that used to cling to my body now clung to hers. The muscled mass that once kept me warm in the middle of the night was now her personal heater.

Just the idea made me want to break down in tears.

But I had to stay calm. Liam told he wouldn’t be with anyone else, even if we weren’t together. He said he belonged to me, that he was still mine. I doubted him once and I couldn’t doubt him again.

If he really was sleeping around, I couldn’t get upset. We’d been broken up for months, and even if he said he wasn’t going to be with anyone else, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. If I hadn’t ruined everything, we’d still be together right now. If Liam was with another woman, I made it happen.

I steadied my emotions and regained control. If some other girl was using him for the night, it was temporary. Liam wouldn’t love anyone else but me. I could get him back. I wanted the relationship and the tenderness we shared. I was willing to fight with him if I had to.

I unzipped my jacket, leaving me in my sports bra and spandex. Maybe I could attract his attention in an unorthodox way. I left my car and walked to his door, still feeling like I might throw up. Every time I pictured him with someone else, I wanted to drink myself into a coma.

But Liam wouldn’t do that. If he said he wasn’t going to be sleeping around, then he wasn’t. There was some other explanation for the perky and bright car in his driveway. I just had to stay calm.

Before I knocked on the door, it opened.

A thin brunette was the first thing I saw. She had flawless skin, a complexion I would die for, and blue eyes that reminded me of the artic sea. Just from looking at her, I knew she possessed confidence. And she was smiling. I sincerely hoped she wasn’t smiling because Liam showed her a good time. “Oh.” She eyed me hesitantly. “Hi.” She walked around me. “See you later, Liam.”

Breathe. Just breathe.

I’d never seen that girl before, so I knew she wasn’t a friend. And she looked at me like I wasn’t worth looking at.

Liam appeared at the door, his face hard and unreadable.

I stared at him, waiting for him to speak first. I knew he was waiting for me to run away because of the mysterious girl that just left his house. He waited for me to jump to conclusions. He waited for me to ask who she was.

No, I wasn’t going to ask. I trusted him and I was proving it now.

Liam stared at me for another minute, his face not giving anything away.

I held his look and didn’t back down.

Finally, he crossed his arms over his chest. “Can I help you with something?” His eyes glanced down to my body, noticing my flat stomach.

“I wanted to continue our training.” I kept my voice steady and strong despite the effort. Naturally, I wanted to back down and be the weaker one of the two of us. But I held my ground, determined to get back the best thing that ever happened to me.

Liam rubbed his chin, his fingers touching the thick stubble that started to shadow his face. He looked tired and weathered, like he hadn’t slept in a long time.

I knew the feeling.

“You do?” he asked.

“If you’re willing to teach me.”

“I would never refuse a woman’s desire to learn self-defense.”

So I wasn’t special? He would do this with anyone? I kept my response in my throat, not wanting to provoke him. I guess seeing that ridiculously pretty and upbeat girl put me in a sour mood. “Then can I come in?”

After a moment of deliberation, he stepped aside.

I came in and took in the scent of his house. It smelled exactly the same. The faint tint of his cologne hung in the air, mixed with the fresh breeze from the windows he always kept open. I wanted to stare at the couches and see if they were rumpled from kinky sex. I wanted to know if the sheets on his bed were ruffled from a visitor. But I kept back my curiosity, knowing I could trust Liam.

He stared me down, his eyes dark and his stance rigid. He looked the same way he did when we were first getting to know each other. His large size and prominent muscles were frightening and intimidating. He looked at me with an unreadable gaze, his eyes reading me but giving nothing away. “No, I didn’t sleep with her.”

I hid the relief that washed through me, keeping my face stoic. “I wasn’t going to ask.”

“But I knew you were thinking it.”

“If you say you won’t sleep with anyone, then I believe you.” I held his gaze while I said it, wanting him to see my sincerity. “It’s none of my business why she was here, but I know it had nothing to do with sex.”

He studied my face for a long time, deciphering the curve of my lips and brightness in my eyes. It was hard to hide something from someone who knew you on such an intimate level. “I don’t believe you.”

“If I really thought you were sleeping with her, I would have driven away the moment I saw her car in the driveway. I would run, just like I always do, but I didn’t. I came to your door and knocked, knowing I wasn’t interrupting anything. And I knew I didn’t need to ring the doorbell because you weren’t upstairs…”

His eyes darkened slightly while he stared me down.

“I know you only love me…”

His eyes lightened at my words. Nothing else in his face changed. The blue eyes I adored gave away a small amount of emotion.

“And even if you did, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to get you back, Liam. I know I messed up this relationship, but I’m not letting you go without a fight. I may not be able to compete with most of the women of your past, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try.”

“You can’t compete,” he said quietly. “They got nothing on you.” He turned his back on me then headed toward his basement without another word.

His last words made my heart ache.
He still loved me
.

I followed him down to the basement. It looked exactly the same but I noticed the punching bag was new. He probably demolished the old one.

Liam pulled his shirt off then tossed it aside.

Once I saw his sculpted back, a quiet gasp escaped my lips. The skin was etched with hard and defined muscle. Every single layered was chiseled and defined. He was the ideal specimen for the male race, the definition of masculinity and strength. Every time he moved his arms, the muscles underneath contracted and became more prominent.

He was beautiful.

I noticed his size difference. He gained more muscle, being about twenty pounds heavier than he used to be. His arms were thick and swollen, and the muscles of his back were bulging with their size. He must be training for the ring.

When he turned around, I got a view of his chest. His hips were thin and the V was still noticeable. It disappeared into his jeans, out of sight. His abdomen was flat and hard, having grooves like the lines in the desert. His chest was sculpted and prominent, running into his shoulders to make a complete artwork. I was being rude by gawking but it was hard to turn away. Not only was he sexy and gorgeous, but he was beautifully strong. I missed the way that chest felt against mine, the way his body would press against my back and make me feel safe. His legs were thick like tree trunks, and they carried the base of his strength.