Undeclared (26 page)

I managed to pull back. “But why?” she cried.

“I’m going to make you feel so good the first time we make love that you’ll want to jump my bones every second afterward. If you don’t remember it, my plan will fail,” I explained, knowing she wasn’t listening to me.

“You and your damned plans,” she said and turned over on her side.

“I love that you’re drunk and horny, but we’d both feel like shit if I did anything to you tonight,” I said. This was a special kind of torture.

There was some muffled response. Possibly a curse word. I heaved to my feet. One last thing before I could crash. Ejecting Jack.

I went to knock on Lana’s door that someone had shut. “Time to go, man,” I said and pounded again. Jack opened the door a crack.

“What the hell, man? Are you cockblocking me?”

“Don’t be that guy,” I warned. My patience was thin.

“You’re being an asshole.”

“At least I’m not the one trying to get in a girl’s pants when she is drunk. Put your pants back on and come back tomorrow when you’re both not fully lit.”

“Just because you are boning her—”

I’d had enough of this dipshit. I covered his mouth with my hand and said, with all the frustration of the night in my voice, “You don’t even want to go there. Either you go put your pants on or I throw you out bare-assed. I don’t care either way.”

My words or menace must have finally penetrated, because Jack came out a moment later, fully dressed, and stomped out the door. He may have wanted to slam the door, but I wasn’t going to let him.

I shut the door and locked it. Lana was passed out in her bedroom. I made a mental note to tell her that her taste in men sucked and shut the door. Looking at the hard sofa and then at Grace’s bedroom, I muttered, “Fuck it.” I was going to sleep in that big ass cloud bed with my girl.

Grace

When I awoke the next morning, I heard the crinkle of paper as I rolled over to find the bed empty except for a note.

Grace,

You looked so beautiful and peaceful, I couldn’t wake you. There’s a glass of water and two aspirin on your nightstand. Hangovers are mostly dehydration. We’re going to have a party tonight at The Woodlands. Don’t plan on drinking much. I want you to take advantage of me. All night long.

Love, Noah

Love, Noah
. I hugged the note to my chest.

Chapter Fourteen

Grace

The clanging of pans in the kitchen roused Lana. She opened the door a crack. “Anyone else here?” she asked.

“No, just us.”

With the confirmation that we were alone, she opened the door fully and exited her bedroom. Her hair was matted to one side of her head and last night’s mascara was smudged in big half circles under her eyes. She grunted a hello.

“Nice look, Sullivan,” I teased. “The smoky eye look is really taking over, huh?”

She flipped me off and sat down in the chair. “Why are you so cheery this morning? And where’s Noah?”

“Don’t know,” I handed her a water bottle and she drank it three quarters of the way before returning the bottle to the table.

“Did he kick Jack out?” she wondered. I shrugged again. I had only the note and some vague memories of trying to lure Noah into bed with me. I had a minor pang of embarrassment, but I took comfort in his note.

“Pancakes?” I offered. After drinking the tall glass of water and taking the two aspirins Noah had left for me, I started feeling human again. He had undressed me for the most part and must have even washed my face. When I went into the bathroom, there was a washcloth draped on a towel rack and my face looked surprisingly clean.

He had taken good care of me and, from the indentation in the pillow next to mine, slept next to me as well. I rolled around a bit in the cool hollow left by his body and sniffed the pillow for a good five minutes, trying to capture the faint scent he left behind.

Pancakes, I had decided, would be a great way to soak up any excess alcohol, and I had just started making them when Lana poked her head out.

“Yes, two,” she muttered. I served Lana two and myself two and set the rest aside to put in our freezer.

“Can you help me sort through my pictures this morning?” I asked Lana. Her head shot up in surprise.

“Are you finally going to submit to the art department?” she asked, barely swallowing her food before she spoke.

“I am,” I could feel my grin stretching my face. I had gone online this morning and looked at Dr. Rossum’s office hours. “I sent an email requesting a meeting.”

Lana clapped her hands and reached for me. “I’m so proud of you, Gracie.”

“In other good news, Noah left me a note that they’re having a party at The Woodlands tonight.” Everything seemed to be going perfectly.

“Yeah? That sounds like fun.” Her enthusiasm was subdued, but she still seemed happy.

“The note also mentioned that I shouldn’t drink much because he wanted me to take advantage of him.”

“Does that mean what I think it means?” Lana smirked.

I bit my lip to keep from smiling too wide. “Yes, or at least I hope so.”

This motivated Lana into action. She hopped up and came around the table. “We need to go shopping!”

“For what?”

“Clothes! Lingerie!” I laughed at Lana’s enthusiasm.

“Why not?” I was a little lightheaded with the idea of having sex with Noah. A little anxiety had driven me into overindulging last night, but today, somehow, I felt excited and empowered. Likely because I had acted a little foolish last night, and Noah wasn’t deterred at all.

***

“Where do you see this going with Noah?” Lana asked me as we rifled through bras and panties and other scraps of lace and faux satin at the lingerie store.

“Don’t know,” I lied. I had elaborate visions of where this was going with Noah, but I wanted to focus on tonight. “How about this?” I held up a pair of lacy white boy shorts. It seemed sexy and something that I wouldn’t constantly have the urge to readjust.

“Nice, but maybe you should go all out.” Lana offered a red one piece full of lace. Pushing one corner of my mouth up in a grimace, I shook my head.

“You have to unsnap it at the crotch to pee. It can’t be comfortable.”

“This isn’t for comfort,” Lana said. “It’s for sex.”

“Please, can you say it louder? Why not just put a dick on my back?”

“It’s sex,” Lana said more quietly. “You need to remember that.”

“What does that mean?”

Lana laid down the red garment and turned to look at me. Her face was very serious and I thought I saw a glimpse of pain in her eyes. “When you have sex for the very first time, you can ascribe a lot of emotional feelings to that one guy. Sometimes it is really hard to set those aside.” She put her hand on my arm as if she really wanted me to pay attention. “Noah hurt you and your relationship wasn’t even physical. Now he is going to be your first. When he leaves you, it is going to be a million times worse.”

When he leaves you
. Those were the only words that really penetrated. I suddenly felt so cold. “God, why is the air conditioning so high here?” I asked with false cheerfulness. I looked down at the red concoction of lace and ribbons. In my little fantasies, I hadn’t gotten to the part where Noah left me. My heart stuttered a little.

Putting an arm across my back, Lana said, “Enjoy your time with him. He’s a great guy, and he’s perfect as your first. But be careful. He’s hurt you once. He has a bad track record of stringing you along and then backing out once he’s got you. Maybe he just likes the conquest.”

“Just sex then?” I picked up the red number. I didn’t know if I could do that and still guard my heart from him. But maybe the uncomfortable scratchy lace would be a reminder that this wasn’t about being comfortable and safe but about trying new and different things. Just this once.

***

Noah came and got me before the party started. He told Lana that he’d pay for a cab for her, but she declined. She was going to play designated driver for Amy and a group of the sorority girls. Noah left Lana with six wristbands. “Give them to whomever you want. Just show them at the gate to get in.”

Noah, Finn, and I went to a warehouse store to pick up plastic cups, napkins, chips, bottled beer and liquor. The other guys were in charge of obtaining the keg.

When we returned to the house, Noah went upstairs to lock all the doors. “The locks are pretty flimsy,” he explained. “But having a barrier prevents most people from trying to use our rooms.” Finn pulled out some yellow crime tape and draped it across the stairs.

“Do you really think that tape is going to prevent anyone from going upstairs?” I asked.

“No,” admitted Finn, “but it might deter some, and that’s worthwhile.”

Their video game consoles and laptop computers were all toted out to Finn’s car and placed in his trunk. He and Mal drove away and returned about twenty minutes later in Mal’s sports car.

“What is that car that Mal drives?” I asked as I saw it pull into the driveway next to the kitchen door.

“A McLaren. You like it?” Noah asked, coming up behind me and putting his chin on my head. It was a really gorgeous car. Silver, sexy and low slung. I didn’t really know much about cars. Uncle Louis drove a big Bentley, and Lana had a zippy BMW. I didn’t have a car because I didn’t like to drive. I could count on having Lana or Josh drive me most places I needed to go.

“It’s pretty neat.”

“It also cost more than hundred grand,” Noah said flatly.

“Really?” I guess I knew that there were cars like that but it seemed crazy. “And Mal owns it?”

Noah spun me around. “Yeah. You want a ride?”

I shook my head vigorously. “No. I’d be too afraid I’d accidentally scratch the interior with my finger or something.”

He looked at me, his hands on my upper arms. He started to say something and then stopped and kissed me hard. Thoughts of the car dropped away and all I could think of was how much I didn’t want to party with anyone tonight. Instead, I wanted to go up to Noah’s bedroom and lie down and show him this red teddy, as the saleslady had called it, and see what his response would be.

Instead, Noah stopped kissing me like he had a hundred times before. One of these days, he wouldn’t stop, but instead we would kiss and touch and love each other until the sun rose. Maybe even tonight.

Noah lifted me onto the corner counter in the kitchen. The stove sat just to the right of my legs, but I guess that no one would be cooking tonight. The keg was positioned outside on the patio.

The long sectional sofa that usually sat in front of the fireplace and big screen had been carted upstairs. All that was really left was their ten-foot long table and a multitude of chairs surrounding it. The house looked even more cavernous. Even the flat screen had been removed from above the fireplace.

“Three parties ago, the TV suffered a near-miss,” Finn explained when I asked him about it.

“Do you guys have nicknames for everyone?” I asked after Finn referred to Mal as“ Charles.” Charles was short for Charles in Charge, an old show that featured a manny, I was told. Mal had four younger sisters and had taken care of them since he was 14 until his mother married“ dickhead” last year and Mal finally moved out of the house.

“Yes, and for everything,” came Finn’s no-nonsense reply.

“It’s part of the guy code,” Noah explained, leaning around me to rearrange a tray of freshly poured shots of Patrón. “And since you’ve been privy to some of our secrets, we’re not going to let you leave.”

“Oooh, threats,” I teased.

Noah looked at me with a serious expression. “Nope, not a threat. A promise.”

My laughter kind of died in my throat. I wasn’t sure what he was saying to me. I know what I wanted it to mean. I spoke, but my voice was raspy. “I was just joking.”

“I know,” he replied. “I wasn’t.”

Finn coughed to remind us he was still present. I changed the subject.

“Do you guys charge for the party?”

“No, charging is for douchebags. If you want to host a party, pay for it,” Finn said, throwing a couple chips in his mouth. “Though maybe we shouldn’t have gone for the Patrón this time.”

“These parties get a little wild,” Noah agreed. “Open up,” he said and pushed a Jell-O shot in my mouth when I complied.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“No, but I figured one Jell-O shot early in the night wouldn’t hurt either of us.”

“Our parties are a goddamned debauchery,” Finn added, clapping his hand on Noah’s shoulder.

“Where’s her bracelet?” Finn asked, looking at my bare wrists.

“Don’t have any,” Noah said. “You and Adam went over to campus. I gave mine to Lana.”

“Oh man, I gave them all out at campus. I wasn’t even thinking. I tagged about two dozen hotties. I’m going to be morose when you and Bo graduate. No more college-—”

“Language,” Noah interrupted.

“Ladies,” Finn substituted. “Maybe I’ll have to audit some classes.”

I shook my head. Finn talked a big, dirty game, but I hadn’t seen him with anyone.

He went over to the patio doors and asked Adam whether he had any spares left. Finn turned and shook his head at us. “Negative, buddy.”