Undeniable (11 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Jude

It’s been two weeks since I laid my sister to rest. Two weeks since I held Zoey and Matthew in my arms as we said good-bye to their mother. Two weeks since my best friend was finally able to be free.

I had been in a daze for the first few days, and everything passed by in a blur. I did everything I could to hold it together and stay strong for the kids, but on the third day I broke. I was still apologizing for the fallout.

Callie witnessed my outburst when I finally couldn’t take the pain anymore and put my fist through the wall, which led to kicking the bookshelf in the hallway over and spilling the books all over the floor. When I saw the horrified look in her eyes, I froze. I knew then that I never wanted to see her looking so scared again. Thank God the kids were with Mallory and Calvin that day, because they didn’t need my shit any more than Callie did. Even though she said she understood, that didn’t mean my actions should be easily forgiven. I was still pissed at myself, especially now that she was still being hesitant around me.

Over the last two weeks, everyone had been so helpful, offering to watch the kids and fill their days with things that would help keep their little minds busy. No, nothing would ever make them forget their mother, but at least they could begin to heal.

Tonight I decided it was time for me and Callie to begin to heal. I knew she’d been holding back her own pain for the benefit of the kids and myself. She and Kate had been so close, and I knew Callie’s friendship had meant the world to my sister.

Jett had insisted I take a couple weeks off from the restaurant, and no matter how much I protested, he wouldn’t give in. I planned to return next week, yet Callie went back three days after the funeral, which just happened to be the day after my anger rush. I tried not to believe it was because she was trying to avoid me.

I set up a play date for the kids with Mallory, because she truly was like a big kid herself when it came to them. Now I was just waiting patiently for the clock to hit five so I could see Callie. I now had the keys to the newly remodeled and expanded apartment Easton insisted I take as my own. I had not yet stepped foot inside, because honestly, I still felt guilty that Katelynn was not here to see it with me and regretted that I didn’t do better to give her more while she was with us. But I knew I needed to let go of those feelings now.

I liked to think she was looking down on us smiling, knowing the kids would each have their own room. I knew she would love that more than anything I could have given her.

When the big hand on the clock settled on the twelve, I sent the message I had already typed out on my phone

Me: Come over, I have something I want to share with you.

As the minutes ticked by, I grew anxious wondering if she was purposely ignoring me or if she was still stuck at work. I was just about to call her when I heard a light knock on the door.

I rushed toward it and didn’t take the time to look through the peephole before I jerked it open and stepped outside. Placing one hand on either side of her face, I kissed her, and she moaned softly as she brought her hands to rest on my forearms. I pulled back and rested my forehead against hers as I took a deep breath. Her warm vanilla scent calmed my nerves almost immediately.

“Are you okay?” she asked, and I nodded without opening my eyes.

“I was just worried when you didn’t respond that maybe you were avoiding me,” I confessed as I finally opened my eyes and looked at her. I shrugged as she stared at me questioningly.

“I was already on my way here,” she said. “I didn’t read your text until I pulled up, but I didn’t see the point in responding when I was only thirty feet away.” Her eyes crinkled at the corners in concern as she continued to stare up at me. “Why would I avoid you?”

“Because I haven’t been that welcoming lately. I’ve actually been kind of an ass,” I said as I trailed my thumb along the edge of her jaw.

“I understand your mood,” she assured me, but it didn’t matter.

“I was hoping you would go look at the apartment with me,” I said as I pulled the key from my back pocket and dangled it at my side. “I’m ready.”

She smiled as she nodded and tried to back away. Instead of letting her go, I curled my arm around her waist and pulled her near. “I’m ready to move forward with you by my side,” I stated matter-of-factly. “I love you, Callie. I need you to understand that. You’ve been my rock through this entire thing, and without you, I don’t know if I would have made it through.” Her eyes welled up with tears as her lower lip trembled. “You’re the one I want,” I whispered, and she blinked as a tear rolled along her cheek.

“I love you too,” she said, and the huge weight on my chest lifted. Her words settled all the doubt within me and took away my tension.

“Let’s go take a look at this place.” I winked and backed her off the step before leading her toward the end of the building to take a look at the apartment I was going to convince her to share with me and the kids. As we stepped up to the front door, I held the key out to her. She smiled brightly as she took it and placed it in the lock. Once she turned the handle and pushed open the door, I reached in and flipped on the light. The fresh-paint scent filled my senses as I scanned the room. Everything was clean and new. The walls were cream-colored, and the entryway floor was covered in tile with a marble pattern.

I looked over at Callie, who looked mesmerized. I placed my hand on her hip and nudged her forward, and we walked farther inside.

The kitchen had new cabinets, light fixtures, and appliances, and a large built-in island separated it from the open living room. The place was huge, and the entire lower level was a completely open space. You could stand anywhere and look straight out the back of the living room windows into the backyard.

Callie walked farther into the place and trailed her hand along the countertop as she took everything in with a bright smile. I knew just by the look on her face that it wouldn’t be hard to convince her to stay.

“So what do you think?” I asked.

She looked back over her shoulder and grinned. “It’s amazing. It doesn’t even feel like we’re in the same building as your other apartment.”

I knew exactly what she meant. I pointed toward the staircase just to the left of the entryway. “Let’s go check out the upstairs.”

Her face lit up even more as she darted in that direction.

Just at the top of the stairs was a small landing with a door to the left and another to the right. They led to two bedrooms, one for Zoey and another for Matthew, both equal in size. I knew they would both love having their own space, and suddenly I was excited at the thought of sharing this place with them too. There was also a small bathroom with a tub to the left and a linen closet opposite it.

Only one door remained straight ahead of us, and I immediately knew it was the bedroom I hoped I would be sharing with Callie. I walked ahead of her and pushed open the door, and the light from outside filled the room. The room was half the size of the lower level, but the back wall was lined with huge windows, making it feel even larger. An arched doorway to the left led to a master bathroom with a bathtub big enough for two.

Immediately, my mind was filled with images of Callie sitting in there in front of me, her naked back resting against my chest as our bodies glistened with water.

“This is amazing,” she said as she stepped past me and looked around the room.

“I’m glad you think so, because I was hoping you would live here with us.” I had planned to ask in a different way, but honestly the moment just felt right.

She looked back at me with a blank expression. “What?”

I grasped her hand and pulled her closer, and she looked up at me in confusion.

“You spend most nights at my place anyway. Your apartment is small, and honestly it’s pointless to pay rent when I plan on keeping you with me. It just makes sense.” I shrugged.

Shaking her head, she tried to step back, but I refused to let her go. “Jude, it’s too soon.”

“Why?”

She lifted her hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Because I’m just not sure it’s truly what you want. You haven’t thought this through. I know we’re together most nights, but not every night. You’ll regret having me in your space every minute.” She took in a deep breath. “And then we work together, which means you’ll have no escape. I’ll be with you everywhere, and you’ll be insane after one week.”

I shook my head and chuckled, which only made her eyes widen in surprise. “Why are you laughing at me?” She looked completely serious, which only made me laugh harder.

“Baby—” I tried to control my laughter. “—I just don’t see how anything you’ve said here is actually bad. I love having you close. In fact—” I reached out and pulled her flush against me. “—the closer you are, the better I feel.”

“I’m being serious here. I don’t want to make you regret your invitation. And the last thing I want is for you to get rid of me because I drive you crazy and you can’t handle being with me so much.”

“Not gonna happen, so stop with the excuses, sweetheart. What do you want? What do you feel?” I could tell immediately that she was thinking too much about this. “Don’t overthink it, just tell me what you feel.”

“Living with you, Zoey, and Matthew would make me so happy. I’d love to wake up to you every day and put them to bed every night,” she replied.

“Then let’s do it. Because there is nothing that would make me happier than being able to hold you each night and share the kids with you. They love you, baby,” I assured her.

“And I love them too,” she answered without a moment of hesitation.

“Then move in here with us.”

I stared at Callie as she rolled the idea around in her head. She opened her mouth a few times as if she was going to reply but closed it quickly before she went back to thinking.

Lowering my lips to hers, I went in for the kill. Carefully threading my fingers through her hair, I brought my hand to rest on the base of her neck as I gently rolled my tongue over her lips. She opened her mouth, welcoming me. My mind and my body had been so distant from reality lately that I had forgotten just how amazing she felt in my arms and how just kissing her could turn me on and throw my hormones into overdrive.

I had spent so long depriving myself of Callie’s taste that this small sample was only making me remember just how addicting she truly was. “There’s really nothing I want more than having you in my bed, in my arms, every night. You make me feel so alive, sweetheart, and I don’t ever want to lose that feeling.” I know I was laying it on thick, but fuck if I wanted to give her a second to question this choice. “I spent far too long denying my attraction to you. I want you, Callie. I want all of you. Not just for today or tomorrow, but for always. You are my forever.”

Our kiss quickly grew in intensity as she sucked my tongue gently, and I felt it in my cock. It seemed like forever since I had her this close, this hot. But with everything that had been going on, I knew this was the last thing on our minds.

“Say yes,” I whispered as I slid my hand around her hip and gripped her ass. “Move in with us.”

“Mmhm,” she hummed against my lips.

“Is that a yes, Callie?” I asked, and she nodded as she continued to roll her tongue along mine. “That’s my girl.”

I gripped the backs of her thighs and lifted her, then carefully lowered us both to the floor, resting my body over hers. Positioning myself between her thighs, I pressed my hardness against her and rocked my hips. A moan fell from her lips and was swallowed immediately by our kiss. Her touch made me feel alive. Like I was on fire from the inside out, and it felt fucking amazing.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Callie

You would think that having sex in the middle of an empty room would be cheap. The carpeting from the floor burned the skin on my back with each thrust of his hips, and the thin layer of sweat covering his skin made it difficult to get a good grip on him. But it was one of the most erotic and pleasurable moments of my life. I felt high, as if every nerve within me was screaming for more.

The last couple months had been so hard on all of us. Watching Katelynn take a turn for the worse and then slowly losing her was terrifying and heartbreaking. We would forever miss her because the world would never be the same without her in it. But now, in this moment, I believed Jude was finally beginning to heal. We were taking a step forward together.

As he moved inside me, his gentle touches and the sweet kisses he placed against my skin told me he was really with me now, no longer distant and destroyed. He was rebuilding his life, and together we would find a way to move on.

Jude lifted his upper body by pushing off against the floor at my sides. As I looked up at him, he was watching me with such a tender look in his eyes. He slowed his movements as he continued to stare at me. “You are perfect,” he whispered, and my heart lurched at his words. “I love you so much, baby.”

“I—” I closed my eyes tight when he pushed into me deeply and swiveled against me to hit that sweet spot. When I gained control of myself, I opened my eyes once more to find him staring at me, biting his lower lip, his eyes full of lust and desire. I placed my hand on his face and gently stroked his cheek with my thumb. “I love you too,” I said as he lowered his mouth to mine. He began to move within me again, stroking that place inside me that made my legs tremble and my stomach tighten. I lifted my legs higher and hooked them over his hips, allowing him better access. In no time at all, my body tensed from my impending orgasm, and I arched my back as it took over.

“That’s it,” Jude whispered into the crease of my neck. “Right there, so good.”

His pace increased as he thrust his hips, racing toward his own release. “Callie.” My name fell from his lips in a whisper as his body trembled against mine.

Only the sound of our ragged breaths filled the room now. We remained in one another’s arms in the center of the bedroom we would soon call ours. And in that moment a peace settled over me.

I had lost Jude for a bit after Katelynn’s death, and I was terrified I may not get him back when he grew angry and distant. I remembered Jett’s words when I finally broke down in his office after the day Jude put his fist through his wall.

“He has been through so much, Cal. I know it won’t be easy, but you need to step back and give him space. He needs time to heal. He may say things and do things that hurt you down deep, but know that he’s grieving, and everyone handles grief differently. Just be there for him when he’s ready to come back to you.”

And I was. I was there when he cried, I was there when he zoned out and grew quiet, and I was waiting for him to come back to me.

“I’ve missed this,” I confessed.

He moved just enough to place a soft kiss against my shoulder. “We’re gonna be okay,” he whispered, and my body relaxed with his words.

I’m not sure how long we lay there in the middle of the bedroom floor. The sun set as we both made up for the restless nights of the past two weeks. Neither of us cared that we were naked, only that we were finding comfort in the warmth of one another.

***

“I think your bed would look very pretty over here. Then in the morning when you wake up, you would have a view of the backyard.” My mother stood in the middle of Zoey’s new bedroom with Zoey standing close at her side. “Then we could set up your dollhouse over here against this wall, and the trunk of dress-up clothes could sit at the foot of your bed.”

“But, Nana.” Zoey looked up at her in confusion. My mother had insisted they call her Nana, and it truly was the sweetest thing.

“What, sweetheart?” she asked.

“I don’t have a dollhouse,” Zoey stated with her nose scrunched up. “Or a trunk of clothes.”

“You don’t?” my mom asked with her own eyes wrinkled in confusion. “Then how do you explain the stuff in Papa Calvin’s truck?”

I watched in amazement as Zoey’s eyes grew wide with excitement as she stared up at my mother, and I was awestruck. I always knew my parents were amazing people. They both had hearts of gold and had raised me with those same values. But now I had no doubt in my mind that they were the greatest people in the world. They treated Zoey and Matthew as if they were truly mine, and truly their grandchildren, and I loved them dearly for their selflessness.

“You better go check it out,” Mom encouraged Zoey, and that was all it took. She bolted from the room with one goal—find Papa Calvin.

“Thanks, Mom,” I said as I stepped up to her and leaned my head on her shoulder.

“No need for thanks, sweetheart. I love those kids. They deserve all the happiness in the world. And if your father and I can give them even an ounce of that happiness, you better bet we’re gonna do it.” She placed a kiss on my forehead.

Matthew began hollering with excitement in his bedroom, and I jerked my head up, looking at my mother. “Go look.” She tilted her head toward the room across the hall.

I quickly moved in the direction of his laughter. Just as I stepped through the doorway of the room that would be Matthew’s, I stopped abruptly. There in the center of the floor was a racetrack for his matchbox cars. He and Jude each held a controller in their hands as they watched the race cars zoom past them, only to repeat the path once more.

I quietly observed the cute scene. Jude was loving it almost as much as Matt.

“I’m winning,” Matthew squealed as he bounced up and down. The smile on his face was huge. Tears welled up in my eyes as I continued to watch. I knew Katelynn was smiling too, because all she ever wanted was for her babies to be happy. I could never replace their mother, and I never would try. My goal was to make sure Zoey and Matthew never forgot her. I wanted them to know just how much their mother loved and adored them.

Matthew threw his hands up in the air and began bouncing around in circles. “I win, I win,” he yelled as he noticed me standing in the doorway.

“Good job, buddy,” I said before looking at the beautiful man who still sat on the floor beside him. A big smile covered his face as he watched Matt, then his gaze wandered to mine, and he winked as his smile grew wider. I knew in that moment Jude was it for me. He and these kids were meant to be my future. And there was nothing in the world that would ever take their place in my heart. They were my family.