Under Locke (56 page)

"What pisses me off is that you lied to me, and then ignored me when I called to talk about it." Ugh, I felt even worse because what he said was mostly true. He woul
d ha
ve been mad but maybe not as much?

Maybe. It was too late to even think about it though. The fact was, I'd been a coward and an asshole.

My head hung. "I really am sorry, Son. I just wanted to help, and I realized too late how stupid it was."

Sonny paused and the silence felt suffocating. "Kid, I get that you'd do something stupid if you thought it'd help. Trust me, I'd do dumber shit than that for you but you know,
you know
, how much it pisses me off when you keep shit from me."

"I know." There was no way my voice sounded as pitiful and crappy as I felt. Because he was right. We'd been through this before.

"Yeah, I know you know," he answered back gruffly.

The urge to say sorry again was right on my tongue but it wouldn't come out. I knew my brother. I knew my brother enough to not be surprised he was mad at me for keeping things from him, and I was well aware of the fact that the word 'sorry' meant nothing to him. Actions spoke louder than words, he'd probably say.

And I'd blown it, and then blown it again by fielding his calls.

"Did they tell you everything?" I asked him slowly. If there was something no one had mentioned before then there might be hope for the big pile of shit I'd dug myself into.

"I hope so. You went to Busty's, and that mother—Liam showed up, wanting you to go with him," he said. "Anything else?"

Was there a trace of a challenge in his voice?

Crap. I bit my lip and took a deep breath. If all my cards were on the line, I might as well drop the bomb too. There was a chance someone had already mentioned to him a part of whatever the heck was going on with Dex but if they hadn't....

Double crap.

"I don't really know for sure what's going on with me and Dex but—," but what? What exactly do you tell your older half-brother about having irrational feelings toward his friend? His friend that was your boss. His friend that he'd left you with. "I really like him and I'm pretty positive he feels the same... in his own way."

Just like a Band-Aid right?

Except there was more stunted silence on Sonny's end. At least a minute passed before he spoke again.

"Yeah, I know, kid. You're not the only one ignoring my calls." That didn't exactly surprise me. "I had a feeling it was headed in that direction but Dex knows what's coming to him as soon as we get back."

What was coming to him?

"Sonny, he's good to me—"

My brother laughed. "Oh, I'm sure he is."

Mortified. I was absolutely mortified. "Not like that!" Well, sort of like that after today.

"I know what you meant, Ris
. I’m not blind,
" he bit back sharply. "I
’m sure
he's good to you, that's why I haven't driven back to beat his ass just yet. I'm saving it for after we get your dad. I'll give Dex that much
until
then. If he was Wheels or Buck, then that'd be a different story but I know him. Dex
has more than enough phone numbers if he was just interested in playing around
."

Ouch
. Well. The truth wasn’t always made with stuffing and fur.
"Don't be mad about that. It's not a big deal."

"He knows it's a big deal, and he knows what the consequences are. You're a big girl, Ris, so I'm not gonna tell you what to do. You might not trust me, but I trust you."

Shit. I was the
second
biggest piece of crap on the planet after my dad with that one line. But what could I say to make the situation better? Nothing. Absolutely nothing and I needed to live with that. "I do trust you, I promise. I don't trust anyone more than you."

He sighed. "I'm sure, kid."

I banged my forehead on the edge of the table. "All right."

Sonny didn't say anything else.

"Oh, and there was a note on Pins' door when we got here today." I went on to tell him what Dex had said, and then reminded him in case no one had told him about the deadline on the debt coming up.

"I got some intel on a few more places he could be staying at. Trip and I are heading up to northern Cali tomorrow to look. I'll call you if I find anything out," he promised.

"Okay."

He grunted. "See ya, Ris." Then, he hung up. Just like that.

And just like that, I felt like the biggest douche on the planet.

When was the last time Sonny had ever gotten off the phone with me in that way? Years? When he'd found out that the doctors had found more cells in my arm and I hadn't told him until my treatment was nearly over? In trying to spare him, wasn't I doing the same thing he'd done by not telling me about our secret little brother?

Eh. Kind of.

Okay, it was exactly the same. I'd thought I'd learned my lesson at
nine
teen but apparently not. The reality of it made me feel not just crappy but useless. All these people went through so much for me and I just sat at work or at Dex's house and betrayed them with my lies and bullshit. What kind of crap was that?

What could I do? This whole feeling helpless crap didn't sit well in my stomach. I'd never relied on other people, and I'd done what I needed to do to keep going for as long as I could remember.

It may have only been a few minutes that I sat there, staring at the table while I tried to figure out what I could do, when it hit me. Where this all stemmed from. What could fix the biggest issue. What I could do after doing nothing. If Dad wasn't where he'd lived for the past fourteen years, then why wouldn't he be where he'd lived before then?

Florida.

God. I'd been so stuck in my own world I hadn't even thought of it.

The clock on the wall said it was only a little after seven. If I got my work done fast, I could probably squeeze in a few phone calls to motels that were by where we used to live, or even by
yia-yia's
old house. It sounded a little too easy but then again, Curt Taylor had done a ton of dumb crap in his life. He wasn't exactly the brightest guy.

I went back up front and finished off a supply order, added the newest figures to Quickbooks, and made exactly two calls to motels that came up within ten miles of Tamarac when Dex pulled his bike into his usual parking spot.

The chances of my plan working were pretty slim but I figured it was worth the effort.

"I'm trying to get in contact with my dad," I told the employee.
Liar!
"He's staying at your hotel and isn't answering his cell phone. He's a diabetic and I'm really worried." I was going to hell for this. "Is there any way you can patch me through to his room?" I asked the lady on the other end of the line.

Luckily for me, the woman didn't hesitate as much as the man at the other motel had. "Sure. What's his room number, sweetie?"

I watched Dex through the door.
Good lord, he was hot
. "I don't remember what room he mentioned. I'm sorry. The reservation is under Curt Taylor."

There was no pause. No hesitation. She made a humming noise before making a squeaky noise that almost took away from Dex pulling the door to the shop open and coming in, giving me a tired but somehow beautiful smile. "Sorry honey. I don't have anything under that name. Is your mom with him?"

Ha. I wished. "That's weird. He might be with his friend. Let me try calling his cell again. I appreciate your help."

The lady bid me a good day, and I set the phone down on the cradle. Dex made his way around the desk, settling both palms on my shoulders

I tipped my head back and smiled. "Hi."

This slow, small smile crept across Dex's square jaw. God, he was so good-looking it sucked.  "Hey babe. What are you doin'?"

"Calling motels around where I used to live to see if I can find my dad," I explained to him. "I don't know why I didn't think about it earlier. He doesn't seem to be where Sonny's at, so maybe he went back there."

A small line creased his eyebrows as he wound
my ponytail around his fist.
"Good thinkin'. Might take a while to call a bunch of places, Ritz." He tugged on my hair just enough so that I felt it at
the
roots. "Lemme talk to Lu and see if he knows anybody in Florida that might help us out."

Us
. The us didn't escape me for a second. My heart relished it and might have even tap-danced.

Focus!
"You don't need to bother him. I don't mind calling."

Those dark blue eyes rolled back. "Babe, if I thought I'd be botherin' him—"

"You wouldn't ask?" I offered.

He snickered. "No, I'd still ask but I wouldn't have told ya in case he said no. For you and Son, he'd do it."

"Well, remind me to thank him even if he doesn't know anyone."

Dex nodded. His other hand left my shoulder to palm the back of my neck as he ducked low. "You feelin' okay?"

Oh my. How stupid was it that his question made me blush from my belly button all the way up? The worst part was that he could see it. I'd taken a painkiller earlier, and besides just a little bit of soreness that was way less bothersome than my period cramps, I was good. Real good.

"I'm okay." Real, real okay. "Is everything fine with the Reapers?"

His expression didn't flicker or cloud over with worry, which was a good thing. He settled for a confident nod that was only distracted by what seemed like an intense thought. "Got it all sorted out, babe. Don't need to worry about 'em anymore."

My eyes narrowed on their own, suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"You don't need to worry about 'em anymore. We dealt with 'em," he answered with complete seriousness.

"Please tell me you didn't do anything to get in trouble, Dex." I wrapped my hand around his wrist. "Please, please, please tell me that you didn't do anything stupid." A certain amount of dread settled on my shoulders. If he'd done something that would land him back in jail, I couldn't forgive myself. I definitely wouldn't be able to ever forgive my dad for it either.

That little smile stayed on his lips. "Nothin' like that, Ritz. I promise
.
"

I wanted to doubt him but when had he ever given me a reason to? Never. But the dread stayed in place. "Dex," I pleaded with him.

He squeezed my shoulder. "Promise. Nothin' like that."

My expression must have said that I wasn't completely convinced because he snickered again, squeezing my shoulder.

"Ritz, trust me. Nobody's gettin' into trouble except your pa. You and Son are off the hook, but we still gotta find him and get him so he can deal with the fucks he's gotten wrapped up with."

"Okay." I couldn't say I was relieved exactly but as long as Sonny would be fine, then that's all
that mattered
. "Thank you for taking care of it for us. You didn't need to but it means a lot to me." And the words just poured out of my mouth, leaving me vulnerable. "You're kind of a blessing."

His smile turned weary and gentle, those bright blue eyes searching, searching, searching. Dex disentangled his fingers from their fist and pinched my chin. "Sure, babe."

I grinned at him again and pulled on his two middle fingers. "You have an appointment coming in soon."