Under the Lights (17 page)

“Oh God,” she groans in appreciation, sounding so orgasmic there's a shift in my shorts. “That's perfect.”

“Hit it a little hard last night, did you? I don't think I've ever seen you drink so much. Sorry Mini-Jade missed it. She left pretty early.”

Her eyelids flutter shut. “Will you stop calling her Mini-Jade? It's creepy. You know her name.”

“I know yours, too, but K-drama's just so much better.” I hop up onto one of the stools lining the
breakfast bar. “Is this about your boyfriend skipping out on last night?”

“For the millionth time, Joshua, he did not skip out. And for your information, I'm going straight from here to see Zander, so don't get any ideas into your over-gelled head.”

A vague memory from last night stirs in my brain. “I thought you said you had a meeting with Jade. Didn't you say you needed to get back to LA by noon for that?”

She wrinkles her nose, and even through my hungover haze, I realize what's happening here. I throw back my head and laugh. “Seriously? Haven't you learned your lesson from the whole thing with Liam last year? Don't you get tired of this endless publicity fauxmance shit?”

“This is
not
the same thing,” she insists, her knuckles whitening around the mug. “Liam was a stunt, obviously, but Zander and I…it's not the same.”

“So you're genuinely into him?”

She takes another sip of coffee, and I smirk, recognizing it for the time-buying tactic it is. K-drama's a halfway decent actress, but that doesn't mean she's a good liar. By the time she says, “Yes, I am,” I already know without a doubt it's complete bullshit.

“So what's the meeting about?”

“Just event stuff,” she says stiffly, leaning against the island. “It's really not a big deal.”

“You're meeting on a Saturday and it's not a big deal?”

“It works around my filming schedule, thank you very much. Some of us still have regular jobs.”

Ouch
. “Not that I'm dying to go back to a life of ass-crack-of-dawn call times with you any time soon, but for your information, you're not the only one who has
meetings today,” I tell her. I take a swig from my water bottle. “I'm coming in with you. Meeting up with Holly to discuss some more options.”

She raises her eyebrows. “More…
acting
options? For you?”

“For your information, I'm testing fabulously well for my work on the show, so, yes. Acting options. Hopefully less lame ones this time.”

“Oh, please. You loved every minute of working on
Daylight Falls.
”

“Only the ones where I got to torture you.”

“Like I said,” she says wryly. “Every minute.”

I smile around the neck of the water bottle and let a little more trickle down my throat. “You're funny, K-drama. Don't worry—one of these days you'll get your own boyfriend, without Hollywood help.”

“And one of these days, you'll die single and alone. Probably in your own vomit.”

“That
is
how all the best celebrities go,” I say, stroking my chin thoughtfully. Which reminds me that I need to shave. And shower. And brush my teeth. “You gonna be ready to leave here in half an hour?”

“Mmhmm,” she murmurs, already diving back in for another sip. I swear, you'd think that shit was laced with bourbon.

I start to walk out, leaving her to worship at the altar of caffeine, but I can't help noticing her nervous energy hasn't settled at all. She looks stressed as hell, and as much as I don't wanna give a shit, she helped me out last night. I feel like I owe her one.

“Are you sure you're okay?” I ask, scratching the back of my neck. I'm not used to being sincere, and it's uncomfortable as hell just listening to myself. “You seem…not.”

She purses her lips. “Are you, Josh Chester, seriously showing some sort of caring right now?”

“For Christ's sake, K-drama—”

“Sorry,” she mutters. “No, I appreciate it. I just—I don't know. I'm a little off.”

“Does this have to do with your meeting today?”

She shifts uncomfortably and takes another sip, but this time I'm pretty sure she's just hiding behind the mug.

“I promise, I won't say anything. Or make fun of you.”

I can tell she's contemplating telling me, but man, does she not want to. And now, of course, I'm dying of curiosity. Finally, she says, “We're talking about something I'm not sure I'm really behind, is all. But maybe I am. I just need a little more time to think about it. And Jade isn't exactly the most patient.”

“So maybe Brianna can convince her to chill out a little. She works with her. Get her to come up with some reason you guys need to slow down on whatever this mystery plan is.”

A funny look crosses her face, and she looks like she might puke. I thrust the water bottle in her face, but she waves it away.

“I need to take a shower,” she mutters. She drains the rest of the mug, then walks it over to the sink and rinses it out. “You said half an hour?”

“Yeah. You gonna be okay?”

She shrugs, and we head out the doors and back to the main house, where we part for different bathrooms. It's driving me crazy, not knowing what's eating at her, which is dumb; who cares? Anyway, she'll probably bitch and moan about it in the car, whatever it is. Nothing that's my problem.

I brush my teeth and use my other hand to turn the shower to scalding hot, just how I like it. I need to rinse off this hangover, and my weird concern for K-drama. All I should be thinking about right now is my meeting with Holly and what the hell I'm gonna do next. Because tonight may belong to my mother and Chuck, but I need to find a way to make it the last night that does.

Despite Josh's having been weirdly nice-ish this morning, I couldn't bring myself to say much to him in the car ride down to LA. The mention of Brianna in the context of the meeting I'm about to walk into completely threw me. Somehow I hadn't really put together that, as Jade's employee, of
course
she would find out about the whole purity pledge thing. Hell, she'll probably have to help plan however it goes down.

The coffee that'd been so welcome this morning gurgles in my stomach as I push open the front door to the building that houses Jade's office. She insisted on meeting here because she has a policy against bringing clients to her home (presumably because she's pissed off enough former ones that she doesn't wanna be stalkable) and she doesn't trust waiters. This place has always kinda given me the creeps, though. There's too much glass; everything's transparent. Even with the office mostly empty, as it is now, I still feel like there are eyes on me everywhere.

I take the elevator to the second floor, praying with everything in me that Bri won't be there when the doors open. After what I said last night—never mind the fact that I can still feel her hand on mine—the very
idea of making eye contact with her right now fills me with even more queasiness.

I am really, really sorry I had that coffee.

The doors open, and I see her immediately. She looks up at the sound of the dinging elevator, and for a second before she puts on her phony PR-girl smile (which still looks pretty grim), I see that she looks hurt as hell.

And I feel like shit.

You have no reason to feel bad
, I tell myself as I step out of the elevator, moving at molasses pace.
She knows you have a boyfriend. And of course she knows you're just friends. You don't like girls like that. Things have just been getting a little confusing because you miss Ally and things maybe aren't where they should be with Zander. You'll have this meeting, you'll establish where you and Zander stand, and that'll be the end of this. You can go back to being friends.

I paste a smile on my face that's every bit as phony as hers. “Hey. Didn't realize you'd be here. Funny seeing you again so soon.”

“Yeah, well, didn't know you were coming in until this morning.” Her voice is tight, and if I hadn't been sure she was pissed before, I am now. “Jade and Zander are already in.” She steps out from behind the desk and leads me to the office. “Can I get you a drink? Water?”

“I'm fine,” I lie. My tongue feels like it's sticking to my mouth, but I can't bring myself to make Bri run errands for me. Having her hold the door open for me right now is bad enough. “Thanks.”

She nods curtly and turns, but then Jade calls her name, and she turns back. “Yes?”

“Why don't you sit in with us?” Jade suggests. “You might learn something here, or even have a helpful suggestion of your own.”

“I highly doubt that,” Bri mutters under her breath, but she follows me in anyway. She takes a seat across from Zander, which leaves me two options—sitting next to him or sitting next to her. I do the former, and he immediately leans over to give me a peck on the cheek.

I pretend not to notice that Bri looks away when he does.

“So!” Jade says sunnily. “I'm glad you guys could make it in on a Saturday. I know we're all busy, so let's make this quick. I'm thinking we make this happen tonight at—”

“Wait,” I interrupt. “I can't do tonight. I have plans. I promised.”

Jade raises an eyebrow. “What does that mean, you promised?”

I look helplessly at Bri—I know she was there for the Josh disaster and can back me up—but she's staring at her fingernails like the secret to perfect lowlights is reflected in the black lacquer. “I was helping Josh out of a tricky situation, and I promised I'd go to a club with him tonight for his family's reality show. It's not a big deal. But I did say I'd be there and I did say tonight. Can we just do this tomorrow?”

Zander and Jade exchange a glance. “You're going out with Josh Chester tonight?” Zander says, his voice practically a squeak. “How's
that
gonna look?”

“Josh
and
some other people,” I reply. “And it's gonna look like I'm hanging out with a friend and costar.” Okay, “friend” might be a stretch, but Zander's tone and question are bugging me. I don't tell him not to hang out with his annoying bandmates; he shouldn't be doing that to me. “You should come, especially if you're concerned.”

“To a club?” says Jade. “No. Zander does not go to clubs. And neither do you, missy.”

Bri snorts, and I'm so relieved to hear her make a happy sound that it totally bolsters me to bite back. “I do tonight.”

“Vanessa,” Jade says seriously, “you cannot be seen—and
filmed
—at a club with Josh Chester and his friends. Remember, we're going for a wholesome role model image. That's the point here. You're going to have millions of girls looking up to you and wanting to
be
you. Being consistent is extremely important.”

“But what if I don't consistently feel like Miss Purity Pledge?” I blurt out.

Zander reaches over and takes my hand. “Vanessa, sweetheart.” (He has never, ever called me sweetheart, except in front of cameras.) “I know you're nervous, and I understand—this is a big step. But we love each other. This is the right thing.”

We love each other?
How on earth does he sound so sincere? Why is he even bothering in front of just Jade and Brianna? Did I miss some sort of memo?

“Zander…” I start to pull my hand back, but he just squeezes it. I can feel Bri's eyes burning lasers, cutting through his palm to mine. “I don't…I'm not…I need more time to think about this. But I
am
going to the club with Josh tonight,” I say, quietly but firmly. It's not even really about Josh now, or about the promise I made; I need more time to think about this, and this is the perfect way to buy it.

Besides, I'm sick of being told what to do.

“I'll go with her,” Bri says suddenly, and all heads swivel in her direction. “I'll make sure everything looks on the up-and-up, that it's clear Vanessa and Josh are just friends and she's there for moral support. No drinking—nothing.”

Considering I'm still feeling sick to my stomach, the idea of drinking tonight doesn't really hold much appeal for me anyway.

The idea of Bri in clubwear, sitting by my side all night, however, holds way too much.

“I still don't like this,” says Zander, scrunching up his nose like a bratty little kid. “We're supposed to be committing to each other, Vanessa. How's it gonna look if you go out tonight with another guy?”

“I'm not going out
with
Josh.” I shudder at the thought, and Bri cracking a grin next to me might as well be the hand squeeze I could totally use right now. “I'm going out with a group of people that happens to include Josh. And like I said, if you're that concerned, just come with me. Bri can babysit us both.”

Under the table, though, I'm gripping the rim of my chair with both hands, praying he'll say no.
I don't want him there
, I realize with a clarity that scares me. I want to party with my friends and hang out with Bri somewhere other than a mall or yoga studio or Josh's house. And I want to do
all
of that more than I want to spend time with the guy who's supposed to be putting a ring on my finger for the world to see.

What kind of role model does that make me? Jade's eyes flash.

“You may be determined to tank your image, missy, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you take Zander down with you. You think you know better than me and you want to go to a club tonight? Fine. We can spin this whole thing into tonight making you realize just how much you're no longer interested in this lifestyle.” She exhales noisily, and I know she thinks she's just done me the world's biggest favor. “But Bri, you
are
going to supervise, and after tonight, Vanessa, you
will
cooperate. Understood?”