Undercover (25 page)

Jenny clutched Alex’s hand and he bent forward to cut the driver’s endless babble off. “My wife isn’t feeling well, she has been out in the sun for too long. Perhaps you could turn some more air on?”

He didn’t think anyone followed them, and unless someone took position on a rooftop, no one could have seen them leave the little store. Every instinct still screamed he should make sure they weren’t followed. They should at least try to make some evasive maneuvers before going to the hotel, but Jenny clearly wasn’t up to it. She was pale and shaking, and even the driver asked, “Hey, your wife okay?”

She nodded. “Yes. Too much sun. I’ll be fine, but I need to go lie down.”

*****

To Jenny, the hotel lobby seemed to be at least the size of a football field, and she worried her legs would fold under her. She managed to walk all the way to the elevator without collapsing. She hadn’t held a gun to anyone’s head, hadn’t pulled a trigger, but she was still a killer, and she wanted to throw up.

Her mind churned. Surely, the men in the store weren’t innocent, but she delivered a bomb that killed them. She and Alex carried it around for a long time; they smuggled it across the world. It could have gone off at any time, it could have killed all of them, could have killed their daughter… If she had let Alex open it when he wanted to, he might have died. And, once again, her mind returned to the fact that she was now a killer. She was feverish, ill, and on the verge of tears even though none came.

Alex made her sit down on the bed. He brought her a glass of water, and she sat there, staring into nothingness, as he packed and bought tickets with KLM to Amsterdam. They would be going as Mr. and Mrs. Baldi. Anonymous names on passports with their pictures.

It only took minutes for him to arrange everything, and he knelt in front of her. “Are you alright?”

She shook her head slowly. “No.”

He surprised her with smiling. “That’s good. I would be worried for you if you were.”

As cryptic a comment as it was, it somehow made sense to her, and she nodded. He brushed his fingers over her cheek. “We have to go. We cannot stay here. Come.”

She obeyed. At first, she followed him like a machine, but once they reached the lobby, she managed to at least get in character and pretend to be a tourist bored with where they were, moving on to new sights.

They were late for check in to the plane. Italy wasn’t normally the most thorough of countries, but now the security check was bizarre. A woman frisked Jenny, patted her down and stuck her hands down both panties and bra. Growing security conscious after the fact seemed rather useless, but she submitted quietly to the procedure. She was sure they wouldn’t be able to leave the country. Someone would realize they weren’t the Baldis. Surely, someone would see their papers were forged, and figure out they were guilty of a deed that slowed the entire nation to a crawl.

Alex charmed the security guard, but Jenny barely noticed he flirted to get them through. She expected a voice to call out, “There they are, it’s them, stop the terrorists,” but it didn’t happen.

*****

Alex kept a happy face, but was relieved when they sat side by side on the plane. Jenny rested her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. She didn’t look up when the plane taxied to the runway, and didn’t even stir when it took off. He wasn’t sure what to do. She suffered an emotional shock, and he kept her on her feet when she needed a good cry and a rest, but there wasn’t much he could do about it at the moment. He caressed her hair, and as soon as a flight attendant came by, he asked for a cup of tea and a sandwich for her.

Jenny seemed surprised when he woke her up and wanted her to eat. “Lover, I’m not hungry.”

His heart was breaking for her, but he still answered in a no nonsense tone. “Of course you are. It’s way past lunchtime. You just don’t think you want it.”

She nibbled the food and glanced over towards him with a look of, “See, I’m eating, are you happy?” He smiled, and she mumbled, “Omelet seems like a strange thing to put on a sandwich.”

“I guess it’s a Dutch habit.”

She ate every last crumb, and he persuaded her to have half of his. “I don’t like eggs all that much.”

The comment made her narrow her eyes and mutter, “Liar,” but she still ate it.

Once the food was gone, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I’m worried for you. Anything I can do?”

She shook her head and whispered, “No. I’d like to be a tiny Jenny that could climb into your pocket and live there for a while.”

That was just too cute, and made him feel guilty. It was his job to protect her, and he had failed. He held her tighter, and she asked, “When did you have time to change clothes? How did I miss that? I don’t feel well.”

He rocked her a little and murmured, “I know. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He acted on instinct when he ran his hands over her cheeks and her hair, kissing any part of her face he could get to. She eventually lifted her head enough to allow access to her lips, and that little sign of life gladdened him.

When his careful kisses turned more passionate, she whispered, “I want you.”

It made him smile. “I don’t think we can do that here. Maybe in the restroom, but not here.”

His words made her laugh softly. It was the sweetest sound he ever heard.

The airport in Amsterdam was huge, and it took a while for them to get their luggage and find a way out. Once in a taxi, Alex told the driver to take them to a nice hotel. He wanted a place where Jenny could relax and process what happened in peace and quiet. The driver answered, “A nice hotel it is. Don’t you want a nice smoke as well? I can get you…”

“No, thank you. Just take us to a hotel.”

The man insisted, in nearly perfect English, “But I have some really excellent…”

Alex bent forward and put a hand on the driver’s shoulder. “No. A nice hotel. No smoke, no other kinds of narcotics, no girls, no men, no animals, nothing else. Just a nice hotel.”

The driver glanced into his eyes and fell quiet. Alex leaned back and took Jenny’s hand. She bit her cheek not to laugh, and seeing her mirth warmed his heart. The driver didn’t say one more word during their journey through crowded streets, and seemed more than eager to drop them off and be rid of them.

Standing outside the foyer, Alex commented, “He did good. This
is
nice.”

Jenny smirked. “I think he did his best. He thought you were going to rip his head off.”

“That’s just crazy talk. Slanderous accusations. I would never…”

Her smile made him feel like the king of the world.

When they reached the room, Jenny turned the TV on and Alex turned it off, pretending not to hurry. She didn’t need to see footage and newscasts from the terror attack in Milan. He wanted to say something about it, but at the same time, he was leery of bringing the subject up. “I have an idea. You stay right here. I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going?”

He shook his head and winked.

*****

Jenny watched the door close behind her husband. Whatever composure she regained was completely dependent on him, and disappeared with him. She wandered around the room, sat down and turned the TV on, saw pictures of a building in flames narrated by a language that sounded almost like German, and turned it off again. She wanted to phone Lindsay, but it might be unwise.

It only took some fifteen minutes until Alex returned, but to her, it seemed an eternity. When the door opened, she thought it must be the police coming to bring her to jail. Then, she saw her husband and wanted to throw herself in his arms. They were already full though. He came in carrying flowers, chocolates, a bottle of wine, and two glasses.

Alex turned his charm on full effect, and it took less than a minute before she sat on his lap, holding the flowers. He fed her a piece of chocolate and murmured, “Now, this is much better.”

It was, and she wondered how he always managed to bring her a little piece of heaven, even at the worst of times. She wanted to say something about it, but the words jumping out of her mouth were completely different. “It could have been you.”

He nodded, and she knew he understood what she meant. If he had tampered with the package, he might very well have gotten himself killed. “It wasn’t. I’m right here.”

“How do you live like that? With people wanting to shoot you and blow you up and stab you and I don’t know what…”

Her hand trembled when she lifted her glass to take a sip of wine. “It could have been all of us. It could have been Lindsay.”

Alex brushed his fingers over her hair. “Yes. I think you and I were supposed to die in the explosion. That’s why he told us not to bring her, and that’s why he was so eager to say we’d be off the hook once this was over.”

He hesitated and kissed her hand. “I wouldn’t let anyone hurt our little girl, you have to believe me. I would rather die than have anything happen to either of you.”

She nodded, feeling a little guilty. She didn’t mean to blame him. She didn’t know how to phrase it without turning it even more wrong. “I know. It’s not your fault. That’s not what I meant.”

Alex sighed and she knew he didn’t agree, but she wasn’t up to arguing. She leaned against him instead, grateful to rest her head against his. “I’m a murderer. I killed all those people.”

His answer came quickly and sounded confident. “No. No, you are not. You delivered something you were forced to bring to them, but you did not kill them. You don’t even know for sure it was the package that exploded. There were some very bad people there, much worse than you can imagine, and if anything, the world is better off without them.”

She didn’t know what to say, and made a helpless gesture. Alex sounded amused, “C’mon, you don’t even swat flies. Try to let it go. It’s enough with one crazy murderer in the family, we don’t need two.”

She didn’t think it was funny at all, but she did feel much better than when they were in Milan. Alex tucked another piece of chocolate in her mouth, and she thought European sweets were excellent. Alex murmured, “My darling, we are still alive, we are going back home to our child, and you have done nothing wrong.”

It might be time for her to stop feeling sorry for herself. She pressed her lips against his, and was surprised when he pulled free after just a few seconds. “Good idea, but we have something else to do. Get up, my sweet.”

This time, she didn’t obey. He pushed her, gently but firmly, and she didn’t stand a chance; if she didn’t put her feet down, she’d fall to the floor. He urged her towards the door, but she still didn’t move, and he smiled and shook his head. “You are so stubborn.”

After pressing the bottle of wine and their glasses into her somewhat unwilling hands, he swept her off her feet, scooping her up in his arms as if she were a child. That made her yelp and giggle.

“You’re coming with me, whether you want to or not.”

He carried her through the corridor and into an elevator. “Would you please press the button for the top floor, my sweet?”

Jenny shook her head. “Uh-huh, not until you tell me where we’re going.”

He shook his head too, rolled his eyes, and turned around to press it with his elbow.

“Are you gonna let me down?”

“Nope.”

He grinned like a contented cat. He would
have
to put her down eventually, she was sure she must be getting heavy by now, but he was very strong and just as stubborn as she. She poured a little wine into one of the glasses, sipped it, smiled, and held it up to his lips too.

It took several minutes for the elevator to reach the top, and they emerged giggling like children. She stared as he brought her through a door and put her down on the rooftop outside. The night was warm and the view was stunning. “I rented the floor. You can pick a Jacuzzi.”

*****

They stayed in Amsterdam for one more day, enjoying each other and the city. They did have the week off, and didn’t have any reasons to hurry. On the contrary; it was better to stay where they were until both Jenny’s nerves and the worst panic over the alleged terrorists settled down.

There was something she wanted to ask him, but she waited until they were on the plane going home. Somewhere over the Atlantic, the flight attendants dimmed the lights to make it easier for the passengers to take a nap, and Alex wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. She closed her eyes for a minute, but opened them again, asking quietly, “Are you bored at home?”

He sounded honestly surprised, “Bored?”

“Yes… Do you find our life… too calm? Uneventful? Not exciting?”

He laughed, loud enough for people in front of them to glance back, wondering what could be funny enough to disturb the peace. “Jenny, don’t ever think that. I love my life with you, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” He added, in a lower voice, “I may be good at other things, but that does not mean I want that way of life.”

After a few days at home, everyday chores took over life, and the horrors and adventures of the trip dimmed to a distant memory. She expected to suffer nightmares about explosions, fire, and crumbling buildings, but it didn’t happen. Maybe her conscience was more spacious than she expected. At least she was able to understand her husband now; earlier she had at best been able to imagine the things that haunted him.

A couple of weeks passed, and she started to feel weird. She didn’t put it together at first, but when she woke up feeling sick, she drew the conclusion. She was pregnant, and once again, she didn’t know how to tell Alex. He kept frowning and asked, “Are you okay?” several times every day. She needed to tell him. She just didn’t know how.

When Friday came, they made dinner together, cleaned the house, and played a game with Lindsay. Alex put the girl to bed and Jenny curled up in the sofa.

When he came back, she curled up against him and flipped channels on the TV.

“Can I get you anything? You are so pale, are you alright?”

He looked like he wanted to hit himself for asking again, and she shook herself mentally. Her silence tormented him, and she needed to tell him. For all she knew, he probably thought
he’d
done something. “Yes…”