Undying Hope (22 page)

Kyros’s eyes flashed a demon red. “Then give it up now.”

There was an odd note to his voice that Donovan couldn’t quite figure out. He decided to play the meirlock’s game for a little longer. “I need to make the preparations for it.”

“Then do it. I give you until midnight tomorrow.”

Donovan gave a low growl, enough to make the ground under him tremble. “Or what?”

A sick smile slithered across Kyros’ face. “Haven will suffer the same fate as Helena.”

He had no choice but to agree. Haven would not go through that as long as he had blood in his veins. “So be it.”

Kyros stared at him for a moment in shock before he started to back away. “Do I have your word?”

“You have it.”

A vortex of wind spiraled around Kyros with Lazarus’s
signature black and red lightning. In the next heartbeat, Kyros was gone.

“Bargained for my death!”
the treòir roared in his mind.
“You have killed her!”

“I am giving her the human life she was to live,” Donovan shouted. The one law the Undying had that all of magickind had to abide was to preserve the life of a lifebond. The only loophole was giving up the
treòir,
enabling the woman to live out her natural lifespan. “You cannot destroy me before this until Kyros is dead.”

“You win for now, human,”
his power said.
“Once this threat is over, you will not fare so well.”

Donovan didn’t bother to argue. He’d deal with
treòir
in the morning light. For now, he’d stay with the body until the authorities arrived, and then he needed to get back to Haven.

* * * *

The front door closed, and Haven was off the bed and flying down the stairs. She hit Quinn at full force, knocking them down the last few steps. He steadied both of them, and his arms went tight around her. “Haven, sweetheart, what’s wrong, are you okay?”

“I’m scared, that’s all.” She winced when she saw the gash over his eye. “What did you do? You’re hurt.” She looped her hand around three of his fingers and tugged him up the stairs.

“I’m fine. I just had to go check some things out. It’s a small cut, nothing to worry about.”

Haven pulled him into the bedroom and checked every inch of him before she dragged him into the bathroom so she could clean out the wound. “What did you find out?”

“Kyros is connected to your grandfather and to Mason.”

Her heart clenched. “That makes him more dangerous, doesn’t it? He is going to try to kill us?”

“Yes, but I won’t let that happen. Once he’s dead, I will take control of the Black Rose. It will be what was meant to be.”

Donovan woke with Haven curled into his side. She was so small and delicate beside him. Her silky hair was splayed out over the pillow, the early morning sun catching the highlights of fire. He let his fingers tangle in her hair and watched her sleep. He needed to go out again today. He needed ti get the athame made of an alloy found only on Avalon that would allow him to give up the
treòir
… But something was off with her. He traced his finger along the chain of the necklace his mother once wore. Wolf must have given it to her. She’d managed to close part of herself off from him when they’d been so entwined. She was hiding something, and that scared him down to his core. He must have damaged her in some way when he gave her his blood. That had to be what she was hiding from him. The only reason Donovan could think Wolf would give her the pendant before he could do it himself.

Haven opened her eyes and then reached out to sooth the furrow in his brow. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you okay? Any lingering effects from the exchange?”

She shifted and braced herself against his chest. “No, I feel fine, why?”

“I just had to ask. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

She got out of bed. “Yes.”

“Stay here with me for a while?”

“I—I need to fix breakfast for Wolf. Those injuries were pretty bad, and he could use the nourishment.”

Donovan propped himself up on his elbow and watched her as she got dressed. “Did he scare you?”

She went still, and her gaze went to the floor. “No. He’s just a little more intense than you are.”

“We’ve led different lives.” He got out of bed and closed the distance between them. “You’re sure you’re all right?”

Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “You worry too much. I am fine. Pancakes or waffles?”

“Waffles.” He brushed the back of his hand over her jaw. Everything was changing again, and he worried she wouldn’t want him if he gave up his power. “We’ll figure this all out.”

Her gaze narrowed on him. “What did you do last night?”

“Nothing that can’t be undone,” he said quietly, praying it was true. A pact with evil wasn’t binding by Undying law, but that didn’t stop the destruction Kyros could cause if Donovan didn’t uphold his end. “Wolf is waiting for his breakfast. I’ll be down in a minute.”

Haven searched his face. “You talked to him, didn’t you?”

He traced his finger down her collarbone and over the pendant before his gaze met hers. “Don’t do this. Not now.”

“Damn it, Quinn! What did you do? I have a right to know. Remember that I can feel what you feel. Why do you feel guilty?”

“Wolf is hungry.”

“When you’re ready to treat me like an adult, I’ll be down stairs.” She stormed out of the room and made sure to stomp as loud as she could as she went down the stairs.

Donovan dragged a hand over his face. This was why he needed to be able to disconnect from her. No matter how hard he tried to block her from the things he did, she always seemed to slip right through his defenses. How the hell couldn’t he slip through hers?

“You’ve never endured what she has, dark one.”
Nikon uncurled himself from the extra-large dog bed he shared with Medea.
“You’ve always had the power to destroy your tormentors. She is more wounded than you’ve allowed yourself to believe.”

“This is a defense because of Mason?”

“I believe so. She and I have had a lot of time to get to know one another in the last few days.

Donovan winced at the reproach in the wolf’s tone.
“But I’ve seen all of that. Why would she hide that from me?”

“You’re seeing it through your eyes.”
Nikon lightly nosed at Medea to wake her.
“For as much as her torment enrages you, and I know Mason will not meet a good end from the blade of your sword, you have not seen it through her eyes. You have the power and strength to stop that kind of treatment from happening to you. Haven had no other choice but to lie down and be beaten
.”

Donovan stood in the middle of the room as he worked it over. Helpless was the first word that came to mind, but he knew that wasn’t true. Haven didn’t think of herself as helpless. His jaw twitched. “
What does she think she’s protecting me from?”

“I would not be a good confidant if I told you, now would I?”

“If she’s in danger, you had better tell me.”

“She’s in no more danger than you are because of what you did last night.”

Terror gripped his chest, and he doubled over with it. He’d made a pact with Kyros to buy some time. Wolf was here. He should have been watching her. He couldn’t fathom what she might have been able to do, but she wouldn’t understand how to make a pact with evil. “Nikon, what did she do?”

“That is something you will have to ask her. Do not make the changes yet, dark one. You may need your power still.”

Kyros had given him until the end of the day. He didn’t bother to get dressed; he jogged down the steps in his sweatpants and bare feet. He found Haven in the kitchen. He blew out an explosive breath. “Haven, I know something is wrong, and you have to tell me what it is.”

“Not until you tell me what you did last night.” She finished mixing the batter for the waffles and then turned on the burner to warm a pan for the bacon sitting on a plate on the counter.

“Goddamn it, woman, this is not acceptable.”

“You’re right; it’s not.” She slammed the pan down onto the burner. “But here we are, seeing who’s going to be the most stubborn.”

Nikon said he needed to see things through Haven’s eyes. He was going to be a bastard. But then, he’d always been one. He slammed his fist onto the table, making Haven jump. His eyes flared gold, and he growled dark and dangerous at her. “You will tell me, woman, or things will not go well for you.”

She stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him. “This is not acceptable behavior, and you know it. Think of the fear you have for me right now, and that’s exactly how I feel for you.”

“I cannot feel your fear!” His voice rose a level. “I can’t protect you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Damn you, what did you do? Did you make some kind of bargain with Kyros for me?”

His jaw tightened.

A look of horror marred her features. “You did. Take it back. You can’t do that. I will not risk your life any more than you’ll risk mine.”

“I already told you I would die for you,” he roared at her. “I am not going to let him hurt you. You have no idea what it would do to you to be forced to drink the blood of a male who is not your mate.” He forced his tone to go softer. “Please, you have to believe that.”

“What was the deal?” she demanded as she pointed the spatula at him.

He squared his shoulders. There had never been more fear in him than in this moment, not even when having to recount some action or another to a council of the Originals. “I let my power go.”

First, there was fear, and then anger flashed across her face before she settled on horror. “You can’t do that.”

“To save your life, you’re damn right I will!”

“When do you have to do this by?”

“Tonight.”

“Damn you! I am going to take a shower and don’t you dare follow me.” She left everything cooking in the kitchen and ran up the stairs.

Donovan went to go after her, but Wolf walked into the kitchen. “Let her go, brother. Sometimes you just need to let them be upset.”

“What the hell would you know about it?”

Wolf shrugged. “That’s what Riordan says about Nadia, so I figured it has to be true.”

Donovan glared at the ceiling, listening for her sounds as she moved around up there. She was pacing in the bedroom. “I should go up. She’s not handling this well.”

“At least help me figure out how to turn this stuff off so nothing burns.”

Donovan grumbled, “You get two minutes.”

* * * *

Haven covered her face with her hands. This needed to happen. It was just a little bit of pain. It couldn’t be worse than anything Mason had done to her. She walked over to the nightstand and pulled out the knife. Her hands trembled.

Quinn couldn’t give up his
treòir
. She needed him too much. The world needed him too much.

Kyros would be an unstoppable monster, and Quinn would be able to do nothing about it.

There wasn’t much time before Quinn came up to check on her. She had to have the deed done before he got there. She went into the bathroom and locked the door. It would hold him for all of two seconds, but she needed that time to build up her courage. She turned the water on in the tub. She’d planned to do a little Internet research on the most effective way to cut herself, but now there wasn’t any time.

A sob escaped her. She didn’t want to die. No matter how bad life got, she knew there was always something to hold on to, and Quinn was a pretty big something. The exact reason she had to make him convert her. Quinn wouldn’t allow her to die. She trusted him that much. Now it was time to keep him with the living and with the power he was born to possess.

Which way was she supposed to cut, horizontal or vertical? She studied her wrist and decided the most damage would be vertical. She needed blood loss, a lot of blood loss. She got into the tub with her clothes on and pressed the knife to her flesh. Her hands were shaking too badly. She wanted a clean cut, something easy for Quinn to heal.

Images of Quinn and Bastian flooded her mind, and then an image of Kyros and what he could do to the world if Quinn wasn’t there to stop him. She took several deep breaths and held the knife over her wrist with a steady hand. If she was an Undying, then Quinn would have no choice but to remain one as well. With a will she hadn’t known she’d had, Haven sliced through the flesh of her wrist. She bit down on her lip, drawing blood, to stop her scream of agony. The blood flowed red and warm down her arm, but there wasn’t enough yet. She pulled the blade across the savage wound again, cutting deeper, nicking bone. She dropped the knife into the tub and let her injured arm fall into the water. The warm water helped to draw out her blood.

Quinn’s footfalls were coming up the steps. Damn it! She leaned forward and turned on the shower. She needed more time. She could feel the blood seeping out of her body, but it wasn’t enough yet. Just a little more time.

Quinn knocked on the door. “Haven, can I come in?”

“No.” Did her voice shake? God, she hoped it didn’t. Not yet. He couldn’t come in yet.

“Damn it, Haven, this isn’t helping anything. What’s done is done.”

Sleepiness settled through her, and she fought the urge to clamp her other hand over her wrist. Maybe she needed to cut the other one, too. She nodded and moved to get the knife from the bottom of the tub. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

Her voice was weak. He was going to come in. She curled her hand around the knife, but the ligaments and tendons she’d damaged refused to let her get a good grasp, and the knife fell into the tub, making a loud clang as it hit the bottom.

“Haven, what are you doing in there?”

“Go away.” The words came out as a whisper as she slid farther into the tub. She blinked several times, trying to keep herself from slipping into sleep, but the blood loss and the hot water were making it impossible. Panic rose and her natural instincts to fight for her life swelled up inside of her. “Quinn!”

* * * *

The wall Haven had built up between them suddenly crumbled, and all Donovan could see in her mind was red, too much red, and a thought that
he
wasn’t going to get in there in time. He grabbed the doorknob, and when it wouldn’t turn, he put his shoulder to the door. The power of the
treòir
welled up at the same time and splintered the door on the hinge. The sight that greeted him would forever haunt him. The shower curtain was wide open as the hot water streamed down over her limp body. The tub was filling up with red water. With one leap, he was across the room. He pulled her body out of the tub and found the bone-deep slash on her left arm from her wrist to the inner part of her elbow. “Oh my God, Haven, what have you done.”