Unexpected Angel (4 page)

During the six weeks after the first collect call from the jail, Tony phoned almost every evening, except weekends.  There were often so many inmates trying to place calls, then, that Tony would have to stand in line.  He would get discouraged and not call.  Wally lost count of the number of times Tony said, “I love you.”  These were not automatic
love-you’s
that flip off the end of the tongue as a substitute for saying good-bye.  From a heart fearful of what the time in jail would mean for his life, came a deliberate,  “
I love you
.”  Bonds were being forged to strengthen and refine the connection already existing between the two men. Tony’s motorcycle buddies were not the ones who accepted his collect calls.  The guys and gals he went to school with were not pressing the buttons to connect. They didn’t agonize about hanging up before Tony got to speak.  They just did it.  Tony would get over it someday.  If he didn’t, who really cared?  When people go to jail, they’re bad, aren’t they?

Tony’s mother hired a lawyer, called the magistrate, and wrote to public officials.  Nothing changed.  As the magistrate put it, Tony had violated a conditional bond.  He was supposed to stay away from Sarah.  They could hold him in jail until the domestic order expired, and they probably would.  Sarah knew she had overreacted.  It wasn’t her business to go to the magistrate and confess that she had used the daughter as a way to lure Tony for a visit.  She wasn’t woman enough to admit that.  Tony had broken the law, hadn’t he?

Wally called the jail to make an appointment to see Tony.  It was for Tuesday afternoon at 3:30.  He would have to leave work early. The jail had no evening or weekend visiting hours.  Wally was apprehensive as he drove out to the regional jail, fifteen minutes east of town.  He wanted to see Tony, didn’t he? Would Tony break down and cry?  Would he lash out in anger?  Would the jail personnel mistake Wally for someone on a most-wanted list and detain him?  If he went in, would he ever come out?  Oh, crap! thought Wally. I have to do this. I need to see Tony.  I promised him.  If I am afraid, then I will just have to do it afraid.

When Wally reached the jail, he parked his car in the visitor section and took the walk, which led across a well-kept lawn, to the main entrance. The rambling complex of buildings, surrounded by high fences with razor wire, looked something like a high school with security features.

On the inside, the jail was a sterile-looking place with bare walls, waxed tile floors, and uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting area.  Visitors had to leave their purses, wallets, watches, keys, jewelry, and loose change in lockers.  Each visitor had to walk through an airport-style metal detector.  Wally’s belt buckle set off the alarm.  The correctional officer instructed Wally to remove his belt and pick it up on the way out.  The officer used his detector wand to scan down the seams of Wally’s trousers, both outside and between the legs.  Wally had to stifle a little squeal of delight as goose bumps went up his back.  The officer was a hunk. Wally thought, He can wave that thing anywhere he pleases, and I hope he does.

Wally came out of his momentary daydream as another correctional officer called his name and motioned for him to follow down a narrow hall to room number 44.   The visitation room was barely wide enough for two chairs.  Tony was sitting on the other side of thick glass.  He looked good–goatee trimmed, hair cut short.  The orange jail uniform brought out the best in his complexion.  Tony smiled at Wally.  After the doors on each side were shut, Tony sighed, “I wish I could grab you and hug you and give you a kiss.  Oh, how I miss that.”

Wally nodded in reply.  He was about to cry.

“Don’t get teary-eyed on me, Wally.  You’re supposed to be the strong one.  I need you.”  Then, with a playful chuckle, the way Tony always warmed up to people, he said, “If you think this orange uniform is ugly, you should see the underwear they make us wear.  It’s green–green like the hulk on TV–green like the jolly giant on cans of vegetables. Ugly green!  Wait, let me see if they are looking.  I’ll show you.”  Tony turned to see if any of the jail staff were staring through the glass in the door behind him.  They were not.   He stood.  Tony pulled up on the hem of his orange shirt, and pulled down on the elastic waist of his slacks, to let Wally see a few inches of the green underwear.  “Ain’t it ugly?  On top of that, it’s briefs.  You know I like boxers.  I like to let things hang free as I walk.”  Tony stopped the peep show and sat down.

Wally grinned at Tony.  “I wish you could show me everything that’s green and even what’s inside the green.

“Aw, Wally.  Don’t do that to me now.   But, don’t give up on me, either.  It will happen again.  I’ll give you a show you won’t soon forget, once I get out of here.  First I’m gonna kiss you till you’re gasping for air.  You’ll think you’re with a wild man–one that loves you so much he can’t even find the words to tell you.  Oh my Lord, Wally.  I wish I could burst right through this glass and make out with you.  I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Tony.”  Wally almost choked on those words, but he managed to stay calm.  “Next time you get in a situation where you could be breaking the law, you need to remember the folks who love you– your mother, your daughter, me.  We don’t want to see you get messed up.”

“Yeah, I know I need to be more careful.  I’m going to straighten up.  I’ve already got a job offer at a motorcycle place in Brockton.  I think they will still hire me.”  Tony paused a moment.  Then he went on, “Would you let me stay with you for a couple of weeks when I get out?  You know, until I get a paycheck.  I’ll try not to be too much of a burden.”

“I think that would be great.  I was going to suggest it, but I was afraid you might say no.  I’ve got that extra room with the daybed.  I can empty up some drawers and thin out the stuff in the closet.  It will be your room.  I would love to have you around.”

Tony took a deep breath, then smiled.  “If I stay with you, I want to sleep in the same bed with you.  Do you understand?”

Wally closed his eyes.  When he opened them, he spoke with a whisper, “I would love it, absolutely love it.  Do you reckon either of us will get much sleep?”

Tony chuckled.  “Sleep!  Are you crazy?  I just want to be alone with you!  We’ll sleep when we finally wear each other out.  Man!  It will be so special.  Just us two.”  He continued, “I told my mom I would likely be staying in Poplar Hill.  But, she doesn’t know I’m going to be staying with you.  Not yet.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Probably not.  She thinks you are corrupting me.  You know, making me turn gay.  She doesn’t know that I’m in love with you.”

For a while, Wally and Tony sat staring at each other.  Then, Tony placed his right hand, palm flat, fingers stretched out, on his side of the glass.  Wally mirrored it with his own hand.   A few tears trickled down Tony’s cheek.  His chin trembled a bit. This was the only connection they could make for a while.  Tony wasn’t eligible for contact visits, yet.  When he was, the visit would go to his mother.

“Don’t cry on me, Tony.  It’s going to be all right.  We’re going to be living together.”

Tony managed a smile.  He caught a tear with a finger of his left hand and gently placed it on the glass.  Wally put his finger on the glass pretending to catch the tear.  Then, he moved it to touch his lips.  He placed his finger back on the glass.  Tony did the same thing.  Not a word was spoken.   Two minds were harmonizing in hushed refrains of longing, more eloquent than all the syllables either could have sung alone.

Tony was the first to break the silence, “When I get out of here, I’m going to your place and wash this jail off of my body.  I’m going to take a long, hot bath. I’m going to use some of that great-smelling soap and shampoo of yours.”  Tony stopped to ponder something.  “Will you bathe me, Wally?  Will you take a washcloth and wash me, all over my body, even my precious parts?”

“Precious parts?” quizzed Wally.

“Yeah, to most people they’re private parts.  But to you, the man I love, they are precious parts.”

Wally tried to suppress a chill of delight.   

Tony went on.  “When you get through washing me, I am going to stand up with all my glory right in your face.  And, I’m going to let you wrap me in a big beach towel.   You can put your hands all over that towel.  You can pat me dry. . . .You’re so good with your hands.  Oh, yes. . . .Guess what we’re going to do after that.”

“What?” asked Wally softly

“First, I’ll shed the towel.  Then, we’ll get under the covers together and . . . you know, kissing and all that stuff.  I’m going to drive you wild with my kisses.  You like my kisses, don’t you?”

Wally closed his eyes and pondered for a moment.  Tony was adept at making promises–lusty, delightful, mind-blowing propositions–that guaranteed the world and half of the moon.  But, he had a miserable record of keeping them.  Wally hoped that, somehow, there had been a change.

“What are you doing with your eyes closed, Wally?” 

“Just thinking about how nice it will be for you to live with me.”

“I almost forgot,” said Tony, “there’s something else I need to talk to you about.  My mom’s friend is going to take me to one of those car dealers that does their own financing, so I can get a better car to drive back and forth to work.  It’s one of those places where you make a down payment of  $1500 and drive away the same day.  You can even do it if you have bad credit.”

”What kind of car did you plan on getting?”

Tony replied, “Something sporty, that will make a statement.   Mom has six hundred dollars to give me.  I have two hundred saved.  I want to know if you can get seven hundred.  I promise I will pay you back.  I must have reliable transportation to work.  Will you try?”

Wally didn’t answer immediately.  He was turning this over in his mind.  Seven hundred dollars would just about wipe out his savings account.  But, if he didn’t give Tony the money, if  he didn’t show his trust and take a chance, then Tony might go somewhere else.   All the plans of living together would be gone.  Gone!  Wally had never had a partner.  He wanted this so much.  Tony would be perfect.  They were comfortable with each other.

Being his usual gullible self, showing a total lack of good judgment, Wally replied, “OK, I will do it.  But . . . seven hundred is all I can get.”  Wally’s stomach sank.  He was being used, just as Dorinda had said.

“Thanks,” said Tony.  “I am glad somebody has some confidence in me.  I will let you know as soon as I find out when I’m getting out of this place.  I have a hearing on Monday, June 11.  I hope I get out, then.  My lawyer thinks I might.”

Wally smiled, trying to cover up his feelings about the money.

A correctional officer opened the door behind Tony.  “Time’s up Danforth.  Tell your visitor good-bye. . . . Mr. Jackson, you need to leave first.  Then, I will take Danforth back to the cell block.”

Wally stood, scooted the chair in place, and turned to leave. He glanced back at Tony.  He wondered, What is there about this man to make me love him so much, to spark my energy, to ignite my feelings, to sway me in his direction, doing what he wants?

Wally was afraid he might burst into tears as he walked through the door into the hall.  He didn’t.  In fact, there was only one tear and not a hint of a sniffle.  Had something suddenly gone sour?

Wally remembered he had to find the correctional officer to retrieve his belt.  He managed a wry smile.  Maybe he’ll stick his wand somewhere where it feels good, Whoo–aw!  Then he shifted his thoughts abruptly.  He would probably do me just like Tony.  Men are all alike.  I made a special trip to see my Tony, the man I love, and he talked me out of seven hundred dollars.  I must be totally lacking in good sense?