Authors: Meg Jolie
“H
e took me to Pulse,” I admitted, ignoring her sarcasm completely.
She gave me a quizzical look. “Do I even want to know what that is?”
“It’s a club over in Richmond. They have live music. It was actually a lot of fun.”
She stared at me for a minute before saying, “
Tristan
took you to a
club
? And why don’t I know about this place?”
“It’s new, I guess.”
And it was in a town nearly an hour away. I had asked Tristan how he’d heard about it. He told me that he’d met a few of the guys when they’d shown up at Harrison’s, the music store he worked at. Perry was a freshman in college, here in Laughlin. Everyone else lived closer to Richmond. They’d told him about it and invited him along because they all had a love for music. Well, he didn’t word it that way—“a love for music”—that was my terminology. But it was the gist of his explanation.
“Was there dancing?” she demanded.
“Some. They had two bands so mostly we just listened to them play.” The group we were with didn’t seem much like dancers. Well, except maybe Jayde. She’d pulled Perry out to the floor. The evening had not gotten any better with her. I’d tried to make conversation a few times but in the end, decided I was maybe making things worse. I got the distinct impression that I was annoying her without really understanding why. So I just kept my mouth shut. I’d asked Tristan about it after we left. He told me he had no idea what I was talking about. I told him it was typical for a guy to be so oblivious.
“How did he find out about it?”
Jamie sounded incredulous.
“He heard about it from some
friends. Some guys that come into the music store a lot. You know how he likes music,” I said with a laugh. “Why is this such a surprise to you?”
“Because it actually sounds
fun
. Tristan doesn’t normally
do
fun,” she told me.
“I don’t think you know your brother very well,” I told her.
She ignored me and held up a dress. It was black. It looked a little too simple for Jamie’s taste. She must’ve decided so too because she put it back almost right away.
“
I think this is the one!” Krista nearly squealed from beside us. It was fuchsia. Very, very fuchsia. The kind that was so bright and vibrant that if you looked at it too long, your eyes would actually ache.
“It’s pretty,” I told her. I wasn’t lying. I just wasn’t looking at it head on. And the thing about Krista? Her personality was vibrant enough that she could probably pull of
f a color like that just fine.
“I know!” She held up a shimmery pink dress. “I told Willow she should get this one. She won’t even try it on.”
“There’s no point,” Willow said.
At Jamie’s insistence, she’d come to lu
nch with us. She’d gotten a cup of soup. I had noticed it was the least expensive thing on the menu. And while she’d agreed to come shopping with us, it was clear she wasn’t enjoying it.
Krista held the dress up to Willow. With Willow’s white blond hair, the pink shimmery dress looked divine. It
complimented her pale blue eyes nicely. If she were to get a dress, that might be the perfect one for her.
She apparently
wasn’t
going to get a dress because she swatted Krista’s hand away.
“Fine!” Krista grumped. She rolled her eyes and handed it to Willow anyway. “Would you mind putting it back then? I’m going to go try this one on.”
“I found one too,” Jamie said. She had a sheath of cobalt blue draped over her arm.
I hadn’t found anything yet. I continued to look as Krista and Jamie disappeared into the fitting room. I watched as Willow walked the
pink dress back to where Krista had found it. Before replacing it, she glanced at the price tag. Her normally cheery countenance was almost non-existent today. When she glanced at the tag, her mood seemed to become bleaker still.
She used
her fingers to pinch the bridge of her nose. Her shoulders rose and fell with deep, deep breaths.
I knew I was still missing pieces of the puzzle, but I definitely got the big picture.
Jamie came out and twirled around in the little cobalt number that only she could pull off.
“Looks great,” I told her.
“Thanks,” she said. “I think this is the one. No luck?”
“No luck,” I agreed.
“I’ll come back out and help you,” she offered and disappeared again.
I made my way over to Willow. “I’m not finding anything.”
She gave me a forced smile. “Their selection isn’t the best this year.”
“I know,” I agreed with a semi-manufactured sigh. “I know. I keep wishing I could wear the dress from my cousin’s wedding last year. That little red one you liked so much?” My cousin Tori actually had, as one would expect from her, impeccable taste. Her wedding was the usual black and white affair but with red accents. Red ribbons, red roses and sexy—yet tasteful—red bridesmaids dresses.
“So why don’t you wear it?” Willow asked
. She watched Krista emerge to show her dress off to Jamie. She looked sad and somewhat miserable.
I shrugged. “It doesn’t fit anymore,” I said, blushing at the lie. I hoped Willow would think I was blushing at my invented admission. I shook my head. “Too bad because it was an awesome dress. And it’s not like anyone ever saw me in it. I mean no one at school. So it’s not like anyone would know it wasn’t brand new.”
She nodded, seeming distracted still. “It was an awesome dress,” she agreed.
“You really think so?” I asked.
Her eyes flickered back to me and she gave me a brighter smile than the one I’d received before. “Britta, it was a killer dress. Absolutely to
die
for,” she threw in for good measure.
“I thought so
, too,” I admitted. “It’s a shame to have it stuffed away in a closet.” I looked at her, hesitating, trying to think of the best way to say it. Finally, I just decided to…
say
it. “You know, it’s too bad you’re not going. That dress would look great on you.”
Krista had disappeared back inside of the dressing room. Willow
’s gaze had returned to the dress Krista had set aside for her. Her eyes were lingering longingly over it. When I spoke, her gaze swung back to me. She stared at me for a few heartbeats too long to be entirely comfortable. She rolled her bottom lip through her teeth before saying, “You wouldn’t mind?”
“No!” I said, hopefully without too much enthusiasm. “I wouldn’t mind at all. You know, if you change your mind and decide you want to go.”
“I might want to go,” she said in a small voice. “I guess, when I think about it. Maybe I do want to go.”
She glanced at Krista again
. She was looking at dresses once more. A worried look crossed over her face.
“Krista never sa
w the dress,” I told her. “Now that I think about it, I don’t think Jamie did either.” I knew that Jamie would understand. She was worried about Willow. She might actually be relieved to find out it was a money issue. As opposed to the other worries that had taken hold in her mind. “Jamie was gone. That was the week that Dr. Jacobs decided to bring them all to D.C. because he thought the family needed more culture.” Or something like that.
“Okay. So maybe…” Willow began. S
he was already brightening up at the very thought of it.
I clamped down the sigh of relief that wanted to break free. “
No maybes. You should. I’d love for you to wear it.” And then, because sometimes my mouth gets moving faster than my brain, I blurted out, “And if you need shoes, I’m sure we can find something that will work.”
Her artfully plucked brows furrowed at me.
“I mean,” I said a little too quickly, “of course you could buy shoes. I just meant, you know, if you couldn’t find any you like.”
Willow’s face was taken over by a full-on frown. Willow was
always
able to find shoes she liked. She knew it. I knew it. She knew I knew it.
So much for subtlety.
I shook my head. My laugh sounded a little off-kilter. “That was stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course you can find shoes.”
She nodded at me, still silent. Then she tilted her head to the ceiling and I saw her blink a few times too many before she tilted her face back down. “Actually…what you’re thinking is probably right,” she said in
a voice I rarely heard her use. “If you have shoes…”
I wasn’t sure if she was actually admitting the financial crisis or if she was trying to play along with my faux pas of a shopping comment.
“I do,” I said nodding. I knew her feet were a size bigger than mine. But so were my mom’s. One way or another, I was going to get my friend some shoes. Even if I had to buy them new. Not that I would ever tell her that. “You are going to look fabulous. I promise.”
*~*~*
“You should tell Jamie,” I urged. “She’d understand. And she’s worried about you.”
Willow sighed. “I know.
It’s just that I don’t really want to talk about it. Not with anyone.”
“Well, you have to tell me,” I pointed out.
We were back at my house. Jamie and Krista had gone to the movie without us. Willow had feigned plans. And since I had picked her up, it only made sense that I needed to drop her off. Instead of bringing her back to her grandma’s, whom she claimed to be visiting for the afternoon, we’d come back to my house.
“Okay. I wasn’t just visiting my grandma for the day. We’re actually living there now.” I must’ve shown my confusion because she barreled into an explanation. “Things got so bad last fall that my parents couldn’t even make rent on that little house we were living in. We moved in with my grandma in November. It’s been…kind of awful,” she admitted. “She’s made it clear that she doesn’t really want us there.”
“Why?” I wondered.
“Well, for one thing, the house is incredibly crowded. Jasmine and I share a room that’s about the size of our old bathroom.
You can imagine how
fun
that is. Jasmine is a total brat on a good day. Being stuck sharing a crowded room, not good.”
I tried not to cringe. I could only imagine. Not that I would ever say a word to Willow but
her eleven year-old sister, Jasmine, often made me thankful for my only-child status.
“Austin
sleeps in Mom and Dad’s room on a mattress on the floor. That leaves them almost no room to walk. He’s asked to sleep on the couch but she told him couches aren’t for sleeping. There’s only one bathroom. I don’t think she’d mind so much if there was an end in sight.” She shrugged helplessly. “But I don’t know if there is. She always thought their art was a joke. Now our entire lives seem to be the punch line.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I settled back into the couch cushions. I had a feeling this might take a while.
“She did not want my mom to be an art major. When she met my dad, who was also an art major, I guess she warned them that, in her words, at least one of them should have a decent education. She was against them opening the gallery from the start. But in the beginning, it did really well.”
I nodded because I remembered that the gallery
had
been successful. That’s why when it suddenly
wasn’t
; it had become such a big deal.
“Now, it feels like she’s gloating all the time. Constantly making a big deal about how if my parents had only listened to her, they wouldn’t be in this mess. Or she points out that my parents can’t even support their children.
Every time I open the fridge, or use her shampoo or do anything other than help myself to some water, she comments on it. I don’t think she does it to make me feel bad. I think it’s to rub it in my parents’ faces. I just happen to get caught in the middle. Jasmine and Austin are too young to care.”
“Wow,” I said as I shook my head.
“I kind of don’t blame her, though. I mean, she was retired and living this nice, quiet life after working her butt off all of these years. Then just when she thinks she can enjoy it, we all come barging in. My family is driving me crazy and I’m
used
to living with them. All of us crammed into her tiny house, which didn’t seem that tiny until we all moved in. Well, yeah it’s been stressful for everyone.”
“
I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it had gotten that bad.”
“Oh,” she said, her eyes widening. “It’s bad.
We actually qualify for free lunches this year. But it’s only good in the main lunch line and no one,” she said with a sniffle, “eats in the main lunch line. But since we qualify for free lunches, my parents refuse to give me money for the other line.”
“Free lunch is not something you should feel bad about. It’s just—”
“Embarrassing,” she said with a moan. “I keep telling myself I need to be a better person. But I’m not a better person. I’m pissed we lost our house. I’m pissed I’m wearing last
year’s clothes. I am so beyond pissed my parents can’t even afford to buy us freaking lunch!” She fought back an obvious sob. “I know I should be grateful we still have a roof over our heads, even if it belongs to my grouchy old grandma. And I know I should be grateful that I have clean clothes or even decent clothes at all. And I should be grateful that I have food to eat, even if I’m made to feel guilty for it. But mostly, I’m not. And I know I’m being ridiculous and ungrateful. But I’m just miserable. I mean, I don’t even have the money to spend on a smoothie! How was I ever supposed to come up with a dress for the winter dance?”