Unexpected Changes (7 page)

Tabitha

STANDING HERE
LOOKING
at Carter’s doorman, I haven’t the slightest clue what the hell I’m doing. I went over it a million times during the flight, but now it’s like the cat got my tongue.

“Uh … I’m looking for Mr. Northwood.”

“Yes, I was told a beautiful redhead would be looking for Mr. Northwood. He’s been at the gym now for about an hour. Would you like me to show you the way?”

“Yes, please,” I say as I grab my bags to follow, but he stops me.

“Leave those with me. I’ll take them up after I get you to him.”

“Oh, I’m not staying here. Can you leave them down here and I’ll get them on the way out?”

“Of course.”

I follow close behind as I take in the surroundings. I can tell that a few of the drawings in the lobby are Carter’s handiwork. They are magnificent and I could stand here all evening looking at them, but I have a job to do.

“Enter the glass doors to the right and you’ll find him. You might need to put these into your ears, though. Mr. Northwood will have the stereo loud,” he says as he hands me some of those little yellow foam earplugs, and they cause me to scrunch up my nose.

With a hand on the door handle, I pause and take a few deep breaths before I enter. Swinging the door open to start yelling, I’m stopped in my tracks by the man who’s in front of me. I’ve never seen him like this, and instantly I lose all coherent thoughts.

The doorman wasn’t wrong—I couldn’t hear the music from the other side of that door, but now, it’s overpowering.

Instantly I recognize the song “I Get Off” by Halestorm.

In a trance, I lean up against the wall to watch from afar. Carter’s in black basketball shorts, shirtless, and has sweat dripping from his body. With each beat, he pounds the bag hanging from the ceiling, causing the muscles in his back to ripple. He’s lost in the music and the routine that he’s familiar with.

I can tell that this is something he often does, and if I had to live with that devil, I’d be doing the same. Just as the music switches to “Burn It to the Ground” by Nickelback, he looks up and into the mirror. It’s then that he notices me. I’m not sure if it’s the look on his face or the bass vibrating through my body that causes the butterflies to drop from my stomach.

Carter slides off one glove at a time as he stalks towards me; it causes me to look around for an exit. It’s then that I know I have no way out; I’m completely against the wall with no escape.

Standing in front of me, he opens his mouth to say something and I place my finger against his lips to hush him. Carter grabs my hand and kisses the inside of my wrist, and then he notices the tattoo.

Words aren’t needed to explain it. He knows just as well as I do the meaning behind it.

Carter places both hands on either side of my face, and before I know it, his lips are crashing down onto mine. I don’t stop him like I should; my heart is telling me to let him devour me. It’s been so long since I’ve been this close to him and I reach up and run my fingers through his hair, only to grip the back and pull him more into me.

“Tabitha …” he whispers as he pulls away, and all I can do is look at him. I see the pain and regret in his eyes. It fuels my feelings even more and I step to him, hoping this move explains that I am really here.

“You’re mine, and your being in front of me right now, it’s exactly what I need. I can finally have you the way I dream about. You need to stop me right now before I can’t stop.”

“I am yours, but we need to talk before …”

“Later, you said all I need to hear.”

The next thing I feel is his mouth on mine. He picks me up from the floor and I wrap my legs around his waist. Carter’s walking me somewhere, and right now I don’t have a care in the world. I’m lost in this moment.

Something cold hits the back of my legs and I realize he’s backed me into one of the machines. He lifts my shirt and tosses it to the ground and with the music so loud, I can’t tell if he has to catch his breath or if I imagine it.

“Carter, we can’t. What if someone walks in?”

“They can if they want, and if they do, they won’t stay long,” he says as he leans in to kiss my neck.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Hush and listen to this song.”

I didn’t even notice the track had changed until he said something. “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You” by Halestorm has started and I understand flawlessly. It’s all I want him to do—if I’m honest, it’s always been him who I wish to share this experience with.

No words are spoken—pure eye contact as he waits for my signal.

I slowly lean up and slide his shorts and briefs down in one slip. Dragging my lower lip between my teeth, I take him in. Pure man who not only wrecked me, but could possibly put me back together.

“I’m not going to be slow or easy, Tabitha. I’ve waited too long to have you, and that’s what we both need right now. I’ll go slowly later.”

“I won’t break.”

“Good,” he says, and it’s the last thing I hear before I feel him at my entrance.

Taking a deep breath, I relax as I accept all of Carter. No words are shared since they aren’t needed. Our bodies are speaking at a louder volume than either one of us could ever say.

Stretched out on the black vinyl weight bench, I feel him pull me into a sitting position. I wrap my arms around his neck as I take him in and throw my head back.

“Let me in, Tabitha. Allow me to love you the way you need to be loved.”

I don’t respond as I lose myself in the feeling and his words. If I weren’t already lost before I entered this room, I’d never find myself after this.

Each move is perfection; Carter is working my body over as if I was the bag hanging from the ceiling.

My grip tightens around his neck as I bury my head into him and feel his nails digging into my back. The slight pain from this sends me into another galaxy. Like my reaction to the best climax I’ve ever experienced, I feel Carter tense and I watch as he throws his head back when his own release hits.

Panting, I say, “Hi …” which earns me a deep chuckle from Carter.

“Hi yourself. Sorry if I hurt you.”

“I’m good, but I think I need my clothes.”

“Come on, get dressed and we can go up to shower.”

“I’m not showering with you. We need to talk with our clothes on.”

“We will talk, but upstairs.”

“Always so demanding, you are.”

Carter doesn’t respond to that. He bends down to hand me my clothes and pulls his shorts up in a swift motion. He walks over to turn the stereo off, and all I can do is watch.

How was it when I went into this room, I was ready to beat him down like he was a punching bag? Now … all I want to do is curl up next to him in bed and hand over my heart. I can’t yet, as I still need answers. He’ll have to earn back the trust that he lost.

Carter

What was I thinking? That’s what I ask myself as I shut everything down. I take a moment before I turn back towards her, especially since I know she’ll see right through me. I wasn’t expecting her to be standing against the wall as I let my emotions pour out.

I blame it on being amped up. The mixture of rage, a broken heart, and her with that look; it did me in. I couldn’t fight it any longer.

It’s time to come clean with my past and pray she’ll forgive me. A life without my Tabby Cat isn’t worth living. If I can survive the wrath of Bethany for all these years, I can make Tabitha fall back in love with me.

“Come on, Tabby Cat, let’s go talk.”

Tabitha

SOMEONE SLAP
ME
and knock some sense into me. What am I doing following him into his place? What did I think I would accomplish by being here? Confusion and more heartache?

Keep him at arm’s length, Tabitha. You can control yourself. Do not give in to temptation. Nothing is going to change. What’s done is done;
I repeat internally as I look around and avoid eye contact with Carter.

“Care for something to drink, water or something stronger?”

“Strong would work.”

“Okay, let me get you something. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

As I look around, I notice how different this place is from his other condo. It’s bare and not him. Boxes are still taped and unpacked; all his artwork is missing from the walls.

“Carter, are you moving?” I yell from the living room towards the kitchen.

Just then, he steps around and says, “No, just didn’t feel the need to unpack all the way. I don’t plan to stay here. It was only temporary.”

“Okay, where are you going?”

“I’ll show you tomorrow if that works for you.”

“Maybe,” is all I say since I’m still trying to figure out what I’m doing here.

“So, I’m going to let you have your drink and go shower. I’ll put your bags in the spare room.”

“I’m not staying, Carter. What happened in the gym is not happening again. It was a moment of weakness, that’s all.”

Carter stalks over and stops right before me. “Nothing with you is ever a mistake. I’m sorry for not being able to control myself, but I am not sorry for what happened. You, Tabitha, happen to be the best thing that has happened to me, and what I need in my life. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Just let me back in.”

Swallowing, I look up to him to explain. “I don’t know how to trust you again. Show me that you’ll not shatter my heart anymore, and then maybe things will change. Until then, I have to protect myself before you destroy what’s left.”

He takes one of his hands and places it behind my neck before he speaks. “If it takes every day for the rest of my life, I’ll prove it to you. The life that I was shielding you from, it’s over. No more Jack, no more Bethany, no more anyone. Just you and me.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Reaching down, he grabs my left wrist to look at the tattoo that I had done a week after he showed me his.

With a light kiss on the design, he starts to explain. “You and I are connected. This … this is our hearts intertwined into one. It’s the meaning of the love that we have for each other. Tell me you didn’t get this because it means as much to you as it does to me?”

“It does but …” I try to finish my sentence, but Carter picks this moment to kiss me.

“I’m going to shower, and you’ll either join me or take one in the spare bathroom. You’re staying here tonight. I told you once and I’ll tell you again: you belong here with me. When you’re here, no ifs,” he says as he turns to walk away and out of the room.

Falling on the leather couch, I let out a long sigh. I have to choose, at this moment, do I stay and fight with him, or walk away forever?

I down the dark amber liquid from my glass and welcome the burn. I’m not much of a whiskey drinker, but it’s needed.

Locating my phone, I glance down the hall to make sure Carter is still gone.

On the second ring, Angela answers, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, listen I don’t have much time and I need your help.”

“Go ahead,” she says and I hear her handing Graham to Logan and explaining it’s me on the line.

“Listen, while you do that, I might run out of time. I showed up in Seattle to kill Carter, ended up having sex with him in his gym, and now I’m here and he wants me to stay and forgive him. What do I do?”

“That’s easy. Do you love him?”

“I used to think I did.”

“Not an answer, Tabitha. Do you or don’t you?”

Whispering, I say, “I do, but I’m afraid.”

“That’s what being in love does to you. You’re scared you’ll never find another love like his. You have to let people in and trust again. Yes, it’s shitty what he did, but I have heard he’s free. It was only a matter of time before he came to you.”

“True, but that still doesn’t answer the question.”

“I can’t answer that for you, only you can. Do you remember when I was lost and confused about Logan?”

“Yes.”

“What did you do? You talked sense into me and told me to follow my heart. I’m pretty sure you would have tried to talk me into leaving with the mailman if that meant me leaving Christopher.”

Laughing at her comment, I say, “I would’ve and you know that. I want that one true love, Angela, but it’s not easy.”

“Nothing in life is easy, Tabitha. One day at a time. It’s late, relax and talk to him, but keep your legs closed.”

“Ha, funny, and I plan to.”

“Good, because I have it on good authority that you have not been to see Frank in a while. So by your words, you need to tame the circus when you get home. Also, fix your hair and pamper yourself.”

“Who am I talking to? What has that baby done to my friend?” I ask as I’m in a state of shock.

“Turn-around is fair play. You gave me hell, and I plan to dish it right back to you, babe.”

“Well, what I plan to do is hang up on you now. Love to Graham,” I say as I hang up and shake my head. Logan and that little prince changed her, but for the better.

“Okay Tabitha, here’s what you’re going to do. Shower, dress in something comfortable, and talk to him. No rash decisions need to be made tonight,” I say as I head to the spare bedroom.

Carter

As I walk down the hall, I stop in front of the spare bedroom and hear the water running. Relief washes over me. I’m thankful she decided to stay. Looking up towards the ceiling, I send a thank you to the one above.

It’s late and I’m not sure if Tabitha has had dinner or not, so I head to the kitchen. I’ll make a couple sandwiches and hope that she will eat one of them.

Still not sure if she’s ready for everything and whether or not I should lay the cards on the table this evening, I’ll just follow her lead this time and try to slow it down.

If it were left up to me, she’d be on the back of my bike headed to the courthouse to become officially mine.

She’s not the only one with questions tonight. We never talked about what we hope for out of life, and now I have to know it all. I want to hear all of her hopes, dreams, and fears.

My back’s turned to the doorway when I hear Tabitha clear her throat.

“Hungry? I’m making a few sandwiches.”

“Looks like you’re feeding an army.”

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I made a few different choices. You have roast beef, turkey, chicken salad, and peanut butter.”

Laughing as she walks over towards the counter, Tabitha looks at the sliced sandwiches and says, “How about we share them all?”

“We can do that.”

“Good cause I’m starving and I need another one of whatever you fixed me to drink.”

“Go ahead and sit down, I’ll be right there,” I say as I watch her grab the plate of sandwiches.

With a mouth full of food, she mumbles, “Hurry up before you have nothing.”

This side of her—playful and full of life—is what I fell in love with. That ball of fire that she displays with a side of pure sparkle. It’s a mixture that was made only for her and no one else. Even if someone tried, they’d never master it.