Unexpected Fate (20 page)

I had considered going over to Cohen and Chance’s place. I’ve escaped to Cohen’s bed more times than I care to admit since he’s been gone. More so since the Loaded Replay concert two weeks ago. I’m sure my family and my roommates are starting to notice my lack of attendance here lately. Chance isn’t exactly the best company either, but we’ve become good enough friends that, between the grunts and hard looks, he’s kind of fun to be around. Okay, fun isn’t exactly the right word for what he is. He fills the void of loneliness the girls just can’t. He talks to me about my concerns when it comes to Cohen and his “going dark,” and since he’s lived that life, it’s reassuring to hear from him that it just means Cohen is on mission and needs to stay focused.

So here I am. After a night of no sleep, contemplating if I would be able to get away with murder.

We’re on filming day two million seventy-five—okay, I kid—and I’m about to shove these cameras up Sway’s ass. Of course, it doesn’t help that Lyn decided to call out because she was partying all night long, causing me to have to spend almost an hour rescheduling all of her clients. The new chick, Samantha, was a no-show, and Sway has been doing fucking cartwheels around the salon because of some heels that went on sale at Saks.

Yeah. I’m officially just having a crappy Monday.

And Devon is still gone, so Don and Mark have been up my ass all day. Okay, I take that back. Don has. He doesn’t bother me as much as he did when we first met two months ago, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t annoy the ever-loving shit out of me.

Mark, on the other hand, is silent and broody, and he generally makes it his life mission to let me know that I’m not working the camera like I should be and how the show all depends on us following the scripted points Devon wants us to hit. That is usually followed up by me reminding the idiot that it’s a reality show, not a scripted sitcom.

But together, they both give me the creepiest vibes ever. I can’t decide if Mark and his silent “I hate the world” vibes are worse than Don and his creepy little winks and smiles.

Today freaking sucks. I look over at a scowling Mark and think, again, how many ways I could make his death look like an accident. His newest scowl is because I wouldn’t ask my last male client out on a date and make it look like I had been pining after him for months.

As freaking if.

“What has gotten into you, sweet girl?” Sway asks when he is finally able to stop dancing around.

“Just feeling a little low today,” I mumble and continue to stock my station.

“Do you need me to kick the cameras out today?”

I look over at him, shocked, because Sway would never kick the cameras out. He loves every second of this reality show crap. His handsome, caramel skin is etched in concern. Dark, perfectly sculpted brows are pulled in, and his eyes show love and compassion. He runs one of his—manicured, of course—hands over his buzzed hair and waits for me to answer.

“I’m okay. Promise. Just keep that one away from me,” I tell him and point over at Don.

“You got it, darlin.’ Just promise Uncle Sway that, if you start looking any more blue, you’ll take that skinny ass home.” He wraps his arms around me, his silk blouse cool against my cheek.

“Promise,” I sigh, soaking in the comfort I didn’t realize I wanted or needed.

In all honesty, for the last two weeks, I’ve just started feeling . . . weird. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I miss Cohen and hold some resentment towards life because he was taken away from me right when we had finally gotten somewhere. Everyone seems to be doing just fine and I’m little miss broody. I hate feeling this way, but it’s almost like I’m helpless to stop those thoughts.

I just want him home.

“Well, hello, my sweet child.”

I smile to myself when my mother’s soft voice enters my brooding.

“Hey,” I sigh and let all my stress drain from my body when she wraps her arms around me and gives me a tight hug. “What are you doing here? Did I miss an appointment?”

“Since when do I need an appointment to come and take my only daughter out to lunch?” she smarts.

“Oh, my bad,” I laugh. “Sway called, huh?” I correctly guess. That man can’t help it. He hates seeing any of his girls upset.

“He sure did. He also told me he would handle your next two clients and that I wasn’t supposed to bring you back until I’ve checked out the new sales at Lenox Mall. He also told me that, if you argue about missing work or upsetting clients or whatever of your ‘outrageously cockamamie’ excuses are, I’m supposed to tell you he has your father on speed dial and won’t hesitate to call him.” Her smile is huge, her jade-colored eyes flashing with humor.

I peer over her shoulder and look at a smiling Sway. He gives me a wink before spinning on his heels and returning to his conversation with Don. God, he’s such a meddler.

“Well, I guess, since the boss man has spoken, I have a free day to spend with you.”

She laughs softly. “Go ahead and do what you need to get ready, baby. I’m going to go bother Sway for a little while.”

“Stay away from the cameras, Mom. You know Daddy would shit himself if you ended up some weird, fake twist in the story line. Knowing how these idiots work, you would end up being Sway’s new lover and the reason that he is leaving his husband and daughter. Scandalous stuff. Just downright indecent!” I throw my hand over my chest and mock outrage.

I make quick work of cleaning up my station and making sure I have everything together for tomorrow’s clients. Mom is still busy laughing and chatting with Sway when I walk up to the front desk. Don is nowhere to be seen, but Mark is standing next to one of their camera crew members with his arms crossed and a scowl firmly in place. I’m sure he’s pissed that I’m leaving in the middle of a film day. Well, what the hell ever. I know it’s childish, but I can’t stop myself before I stick my tongue out.

I win this round.

“God, I’m stuffed,” I laugh, pushing my plate of wings away from me before I can grab another one. This happens every single time Mom talks me into coming to Heavy’s, her favorite barbeque place in town. From the way Dad talks, she’s been hooked on this stuff like crack since before Nate was born.

“Well, give it here. No sense in letting those wings go to waste.”

I laugh when she pulls the plate I just discarded in front of her and finishes it off in record time.

“I have no idea how you stay so tiny. You should really be at least five hundred pounds.”

She looks up, her eyes shining. “That’s because I work out every night.”

“Yeah, right! I’ve never seen you step one foot in the gym . . . Oh. My. God. Don’t say anything else. Some things can’t be unheard, Mom!” Ugh! I do not want to think about how she works off all this damn food. Nope. Not thinking about it.

“What?” she says in shock, but she still has that devilish smirk. “Your father bought me one of those stair thingies.”

“An elliptical?”

“Yes?”

“You don’t even know what it’s called! I bet it’s not even out of the box,” I laugh.

She wipes her fingers off on the wet napkin and laughs at me. “Moving on, sweetheart. Why don’t you tell me what is going on with you? I called the house the other day and Lyn said you were out. I thought . . . Well, I thought that you and Cohen . . . I guess I’m just wondering what’s going on.”

“Why does everyone keep asking me what’s going on? I’m fine. I was a little upset—okay, a lot upset—when Cohen left, but I’m fine. Really.”

“Dani, you aren’t fine.”

I look at her—really look at her—and notice how concerned she looks. All the humor she held on her beautiful face is long gone and she’s looking at me like she can see right through me.

I sigh. “I miss him, Mom. It really just is that simple.”

“I see.”

“I know we haven’t talked about it since Daddy freaked out, but are you really okay with this? Cohen and me?”

She reaches out and takes the hand I was resting against the table. “Honey, I couldn’t be more thrilled. I only ask because you haven’t seemed like you’re handling this separation well, and trust me—I understand.”

I give her a sad smile because I know all about how well she did not handle the separation from my dad all those years ago.

“It’s just . . . The girls mentioned that you haven’t been sleeping at the house, and even though I know it isn’t my business, I guess I’m just concerned and being nosy.”

One thing I love about my mom is that she is super easy to talk to. I know that, when I tell her that I’ve been sleeping over at Cohen’s apartment, she might not like the idea, knowing that Cohen doesn’t live alone, but if anyone will understand where my head is in all of this, it’s going to be her.

“You promise not to tell Daddy?
You
will understand, but him? No, he most definitely will not.”

Her brow furrows, but she nods her head. I know she doesn’t like keeping things from him, but I hope she can keep this to herself.

“I’ve been sleeping at Cohen’s place.”

She doesn’t say a word.

“In his bed. It’s just . . . Okay, I know this is going to sound insane, but there’s just something inside me that makes me
have
to be near him. I never imagined I would miss him this much, and being in his space, his bed, surrounded by his things . . . It just makes this emptiness I constantly feel a little easier to bear.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Her eyes start to water, and I know it’s only seconds before she turns on the waterworks.

“Please don’t get upset. I really am okay. It’s just been a little of an adjustment. I haven’t been sleeping well, and it just all caught up on me this last month, but when I’m in his bed, I sleep like the dead. I swear it makes no sense. We had just come together and decided to take a try at a relationship. Our time was so limited before he left that it might as well have just been seconds. How is it possible to miss him so much?”

She doesn’t waste a second. My chin starts to wobble a little, so she is instantly on my side of the booth and pulling me close to her.

“You know about when your father left for his tour? I was a mess, Dani. Not just because of everything that happened after—losing my parents, our first child—even though those were enough to send me over the edge into the deep end. I was a mess because I didn’t have the one person who gives my heart a reason to beat. Don’t for one second downplay that feeling or its significance. Let me ask you this. If you think that you’re having a hard time without him, how do you think he’s handling everything? Do you think it would do him any favors to know that you’re suffering when he isn’t here?”

“No, Mom, I don’t think it would.” And honestly, it wouldn’t. If he knew how upset I was about his being gone—knowing that was one of the major reasons he didn’t want to start this between us—then it would do nothing but cause a distraction. “Of course he doesn’t
know
that, though, and doesn’t have a way of knowing how I’m doing.”

“My silly little girl. I’m sure you don’t realize this because this is really the first time you’ve loved someone with so much power behind it. When your other half is in pain, you always know.”

“How am I supposed to just not miss him?” I ask.

“You aren’t supposed to stop missing him, Dani. But you can’t let that desire to have him near take over your life. You’re pushing away your friends, you aren’t coming to family dinners, and hell, you haven’t even talked to your father in a few days. Something that I promise you he hasn’t missed. You have to keep living your life, but living it in a way that you have that knowledge that he’s coming home to you and this separation isn’t forever. I lived twelve years thinking that I wouldn’t ever see your father’s face, Danielle. I know pain, and I know what it feels like when you feel like you have no hope left. These feelings you have aren’t even close. You and Cohen, darling girl . . . You two have been fated from the beginning, and there isn’t a damn thing that could take that away from you.”

“What does that mean? We’ve been fated from the beginning?”

She takes a deep, shuddering breath and lets it out on a whoosh. “Let me tell you a little story. One that I hoped I never had to tell you, but one I think will help you understand why I am certain this thing between you and Cohen is much bigger than you even understand.”

She takes the next thirty minutes to tell me all about her first marriage, one I knew she had but never ever knew the terrible details. Daddy doesn’t like to talk about him, her first husband, and now that I know the hell my mother lived through during those years, I completely understand.

“You see, when I finally left my ex, I really didn’t think I had hope left, Dani. I had Dee in my life, and she probably would have been my savior for the rest of my days, but I still felt empty. Then, when we moved here, to Hope Town, that was when Greg came into our lives. He had known Dee for a while, and as you know, he served with your daddy. I always used to ask myself why God was so cruel to make me spend all of those years without your father, to take our first child away, and bring all of that pain. It wasn’t until years and years later, when I was sitting on the back porch during one of our family parties, that I realized what the big picture was. And let me tell you, I would have lived through all of that again if it would end in the same outcome.”