Unfaded (13 page)

             
“Quite a few places,” he said which was the answer I all ready knew. “But I was living in California before Addison.”

             
“Really?” Amber’s lifelong dream was to move to Hollywood, mix amongst the people in Beverly Hills, and become a professional surfer or hairstylist to the stars. She had pictures of Hollywood Blvd on her laptop and images of James Dean in her locker. “Wow. Lucky you! Why on earth would you leave and come here? Addison is lame compared to Cali.”

             
Kian shrugged.

             
“And you have such a neat accent,” Amber said. “You must have lived in Europe.”

             
“England for a while,” he said. “I was born there.”

             
She continued to ask questions and Kian did his best to answer. But when Amber was on a role there was no stopping her. The words spewed from her mouth so quickly he was unable to answer them before she came up with new ones. It was amusing and I watched Kian with a grin on my face. He was doing well. He answered what he could and never appeared put off by the intrusion.

However, I was beginning to get annoyed with my boyfriend.
Connor pushed his chair closer and put his arm around me. Why was I suddenly beginning to feel like he wanted to own me? I moved my chair away a bit but that didn’t help. When I reached for my coffee he grabbed my hand and tried to hold it. I pulled away and picked up my latte. Wasn’t his arm around me enough?

“I spent a few months in Spain when I was younger,” Kian said. “Hablo un poco de
español. I think I can also say ‘you have a very nice cat’.”

I swear,
Amber swooned.

Claire stepped in and asked a few questions about the Mediterranean. She planned on backpacking through Europe once she graduated and was thrilled at the chance to get some knowledge from someone who’d actually been there.
Kian spoke about the villas and the shops and how everything was warm and beautiful.

“The beaches are extraordinary,” he said.

Connor snorted laughter. Kian paused and continued on, determined to ignore him. Our eyes met and I gave him a sympathy look which he returned with a sly grin. Claire noticed the exchange and immediately stopped talking. She raised an eyebrow in my direction. Amber and Eugene didn’t detect anything but Connor’s grip around my shoulder tightened.

“Mai wants to travel too,” Claire said. “She wants to go to university in England.”

“Really?” Kian glanced over at me.

All eyes turned on me. This was a tricky subject. Connor didn’t want me to go because it meant being away from me for four years. I tried not to bring it up when he was around.

“I’ve thought about it,” I said. “It’s expensive but I might be able to get a scholarship.”

“I thought we discussed you’d be
going wherever I go,” Connor said. “That basketball scholarship is in the bag. Coach is sure I’ll get it. Or there’s the ski shop.”

Oh boy. No, never.
Passing on university to work in his Uncle’s ski shop was not high on my list. Neither was community college. I wanted to escape Addison, not spend the rest of my life there. I wanted to go with Claire to Europe or hang out in California with Amber. I wanted to do things. But at the same time I wasn’t ready to discuss it with Connor. It was something I avoided talking about. I mean, I still had a year and a half of school before I had to make up my mind. And if Connor loved me, he’d wait for me to get a decent education. He knew how important it was to me.

“She’s too smart for you, man,” Eugene said and Connor shot him a death look. “And now she’s playing it safe and not talking.”

“It’s not that,” I said. “I’ve still got time before I graduate.”

“You’re not going to England,” Connor said.

Amber rushed to my rescue. “If she gets on the plane there’s not much you can do to stop her.”

“She won’t be getting on a plane because she’s not going.”

The table became quiet. Claire turned her empty drink cup around in her fingers. Amber played with her hair. Kian looked out the window and studied the parking lot. Eugene suddenly noticed something interesting on his laptop. I stared at Connor and he crossed his arms and stared at the table.

Claire finally managed to be the first to think of something to say.

“So you’re staying at the motel?” she asked Kian. “Which one? Thelma’s?”

“Yes
.”

“Isn’t that right by your Dad’s shop?” Amber asked. “That’s where you met, right? Lucky you, Mai, you’re there all the time.”

Whoops. Connor’s eyes narrowed and I instantly knew he’d be showing up more during my work shifts.

“I need to use the bathroom,” I said. I had to untangle myself from my boyfriend’s arms in order to get up. Once inside, I locked the door and sat down on the toilet seat. This wasn’t working well at all. Connor was obviously threatened and he was doing whatever it took to show Kian that he was with me. In any other circumstances I’d probably be flattered, except I didn’t really like being pawed like that.

I probably wasn’t being very fair to Connor either. He was seeing the new guy as his enemy and it didn’t help that I’d introduced Kian to all of our friends and that they liked him. I was making him out to be the bad guy and it wasn’t deliberate.

There had to be some sort of middle ground in which we could work with. If I could convince Connor that there wasn’t a threat he might back off a bit. Getting up off the toilet I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes looked back at me.
It was amazing how two tiny orbs could say so much without speaking a word.

Was there something for him to be worried about?

There. I asked it. The big question.

Yes, there was something there.
The moment of truth was upon me. I had to admit it and once I stopped lying to myself I’d be able to move on and settle this problem for good. There was nothing wrong with it. Plenty of people were attracted to others while in committed relationships. A little window shopping was healthy.

I loved Connor. I knew this with all my heart.

But there was something about Kian that I couldn’t understand. The underlying notion that I’d known him my entire life was strong. Whenever he touched me, my body went into convulsions from imaginary sparks that I knew couldn’t be real. My stomach filled with turbulence every single time he glanced in my direction. But it went beyond that too. I was comfortable with him in ways I wasn’t with Connor.

How was any of that possible? I’d known
Kian for less than a week.

I’d been with Connor for four years. We’d grown up together. I wasn’t about to give that up on some boy I’d just met. But
he wasn’t making this easy on me. His actions were pushing me away. He’d never acted this jealous before but he’d never been put in such a situation either.

How many excuses could I make for him before I finally opened my eyes?

Was this a side of Connor I’d never seen before but had always been there? Was this going to be my life if I continued dating him? What would happen if I made that decision to go to university? Would I have to explain my actions every time I talked to a new man? It didn’t sound very enjoyable.

Something had to be said. I needed to make it clear to him that if he was going to continue this way he’d end up losing me. Not because of Kian but because of him.

Back at the table, Connor instantly tried to put his arm around me again but this time I shrugged him off and deliberately pushed my chair away from him. Claire immediately noticed and thankfully decided to take action.

“It’s getting late,” she said and she began to gather up her books. “I’ve got a big test tomorrow and I should probably head for home. Are you coming, Amber?”

“What? Ok.” The disappointment was heavy on her face. She wanted to ask more questions.

“We should go too,”
I said.

Kian
got up from the table and so did Connor. They both stood there glaring at each other.

“Thank you so much for the coffee and the conversation,” Kian said politely as he put on his jacket.

“Thank you,” Claire said. “For all the info on Europe. You’ve seen so much. I’m jealous.”

“Yes,” Amber said. “You have to do it again. We meet here almost every night.”

Eugene shook Kian’s hand. He’d barely said two words the entire evening. He was stuck. It was obvious that he liked Kian but didn’t want to appear too noticeable since he was Connor’s best friend.

I ignored the anger that was coming off of my boyfriend in waves and walked around the table. “See you,” I said and then I lowered my voice so no one else could hear. “I’m glad you came.”

“Me too,” he whispered. And then he waved to my friends and left.

                                                        *              *              *

              Connor didn’t say a word at first. I was busy trying to think of the right way to approach him when he pulled the car over a few blocks away from Bean Town. Keeping his hands on the steering wheel, he turned to look at me.

             
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said.

             
“Done what?”

             
“Brought him. You shouldn’t have done it. He made me look like a fool. Why’d you have to introduce him to our friends? He’s not part of us.”

             
This was weird. This wasn’t my boyfriend. Connor was a fun guy who laughed at my jokes and held my hand when we took long walks in the summer evenings. He was the one who gave me jars of sand and convinced his mother to let us into the community centre after hours.

             
This person was a stranger.

             
“You’re joking, right?” I finally said.

             
“No. I don’t want you hanging out with him anymore.”

             
“You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

             
“I’m your boyfriend.”

             
“You don’t own me.”

             
Connor slammed his fist down on the dashboard, making me jolt upwards in my seat. There was only one thing to do now. I reached down and gathered up my backpack from between my legs. I opened the car door and climbed out.

             
“You aren’t fooling anyone,” Connor said. “I see the way you look at each other.”

             
“Oh? And how’s that?”

             
“You look at him like you’ve all ready slept with him.”

             
I slammed the door as hard as I could.

             
Tires spinning, Connor put the car in gear and sped off into the darkness. I managed to keep the tears away until he turned the corner and I knew he was completely gone.

             
I sat down on the curb and cried.

              “Are you OK?”

             
Kian sat down beside me and stretched his long legs out onto the snowy road. I hadn’t heard him coming but that was fine. I didn’t ask him how he knew this was going to happen, or how he knew I’d end up stranded in the middle of town, but none of that mattered. I was just glad he was there.

             
The tears wouldn’t let up so I continued to sob for a while. Eventually I managed to wipe my face with my glove and try to make myself presentable. My mascara was probably halfway down my cheeks and my eyes must have been puffy and looking like raccoons but it didn’t really matter. I sniffled twice. During this time Kian had patiently waited for me to finish. There was a deep grove in the snow from where he’d absently dug a hole with his shoe.

             
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have put you through all of that. Connor acted like a complete idiot. I knew it was going to happen but I tried anyway.”

             
“I’m not complaining.”

             
“Amber and Claire liked you,” I muttered. “You must think I’m such a fool to be dating a guy like him.”

             
“Nope, not even close.”

             
“He’s not usually like that.”

             
“I’m sure he isn’t.”

             
“How did you know I was here?”

“
I was worried about you,” he said. “I decided to follow you to make sure everything was cool. My cars just down the street. I hope you’re not mad at me. If you want, I can stop coming around. Maybe that would be better for everyone.”

             
“No,” I said. “I’m glad you’re here.”

             
“Anytime.”