Unfaded (20 page)

             
Marley was in the kitchen with Dad. He must have just gotten home because he still had his jacket and boots on. He sat at the kitchen table and was talking about damage on the shop.

             
“Thank god it’s covered,” he said. “I can’t imagine how much this could have cost us, Marley. The police still haven’t found the culprits. They probably won’t either. They think it’s some of the kids from the high school. I guess it’s time I finally started thinking about security cameras. Who would have thought, living in such a small town. Never thought I’d see the day when I needed them.”

             
I opened the cupboard and took out some plates. I started setting the table because it seemed like the most inconspicuous way to stick around and eavesdrop. I was curious to know the full details.

             
“It’s going to be hard,” Marley said. “We’re strapped for cash as it is, Larry. How long did they say it’ll take to fix? It’s going to be hard enough sending your mother to Pine Valley as it is.”

             
I almost dropped the glass I was holding. “What?”

             
Dad and Marley exchanged glances.

             
“It’s time, Mai,” he said. “I know you love having Granny around but she’s getting worse. Marley can’t take care of her anymore. She almost fell down the stairs yesterday. Granny needs to be in a place where she can be watched twenty-four-seven.”

             
“But Pine Valley is in the city,” I said. “She’ll be hours away from us. Isn’t there something closer?”

             
“No.” Dad stood up and came over to me and took the glass from my hands. “You knew this was coming, sweetheart. I know this is hard but we’ve got to accept it.”

             
“But I don’t want to lose her,” I said. It was a childish thing to say, bordering on being a whiner but I couldn’t help myself. Granny had always been around. I couldn’t imagine life without her.

             
“We’re not losing her yet,” Dad said. “You’ll be able to visit her on weekends. We’ll all go together.”

             
But for how long? How many trips would we take before everyone got too busy to go? Life was horrible that way.

             
Once the table was set, I headed into the living room to get Granny. She was still watching television, smiling and thrilled that the ‘puppies’ were white and fluffy. I sat down beside her and threw my arms around her. She hugged me back.

             
“Come on,” I said as I blinked back tears. There wasn’t enough liquid left in my body to have a second go at crying. I’d shrivel up into nothingness.

             
We sat down at the table, one big happy family and I tried for the second time to eat a dinner with a clenched up stomach. Only this time I had to actually take a few bites and pretend it was delicious.

             
Dad never brought up my being at the shop. He must have decided to believe my story about studying. He had no reason not to. I’d never really lied to him before. Thankfully he didn’t ask me about Kian or Connor either. There was too much on his mind to remember my problems.

             
Afterwards I excused myself and retreated to my bedroom where I closed the door and sat down at my desk. There was homework to be done but I couldn’t bring myself to open my books. There was just too much floating around inside my brain. I wanted to call Connor but at the same time I couldn’t bring myself to pick up my phone. I thought about taking a bath but the effort was too much. All I wanted to do was sit there, looking out the window into the garden and think of nothing.

             
But whenever I looked out past the yard and into the trees beyond our property, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was someone out there watching me.

             
I closed the blind.

             
My desk was bare except for a few things. My laptop was closed but I didn’t want to turn it on. Various jars of sand surrounded me, accusing me of a crime I knew I’d committed.

             
I’d screwed up so bad.

             
I picked up the globe of pink sand that Connor had given me just days ago. Turning it around in my fingers, I admired the way the desk lamp reflected off the glass. It was such a beautiful gift. I wanted to climb inside it and lie down on that soft sand.

             
You’re going to change. You’ll get stronger.

             
The glass was smooth in my grasp. I held it out in front of me in one hand and before I knew what I was really doing, I tightened my grip.

             
The globe exploded.

             
Sand flew in all directions, across my desk and onto the floor. Pink grains landed on my bed and pieces of glass bounced off my jeans.

I gasped.

              A large sliver of glass was sticking out of the skin between my thumb and finger. I stared at it for a few moments, too shocked to actually do anything. Finally I reached out with my good hand and pulled it out. I was all prepared for pain but there was none. There was no blood either. Just a raw, red wound that grew smaller before my eyes until it closed up completely.

             
My eyes switched from my hand back to the piece of glass I was still holding. It was smeared with blood. My blood. The shard slipped from my fingers and hit the desk, bouncing twice against my laptop.

             
I was losing my mind. Oh hell, it had all ready left the building.

              I tossed and turned most of the night, unable to shut off my mind and relax. There were just too many thoughts going around inside that big head of mine. Around two in the morning I would have given up everything in the world if only I could forget the truck stop conversation. When I finally did fall asleep I didn’t dream and I was thankful.

             
There were dark circles under my eyes the next morning but nothing much I could do about it. I was beginning to wonder if it was possible to die from lack of sleep. Between the past few days I’d probably had about six hours and my entire body was numb. I decided that if I continued to feel this crappy by lunch time I’d skip English class and go home for a nap. Of course I ignored the little voice that whispered in the back of my mind. Missing English meant missing Kian. But I didn’t care. Most people would agree that avoiding the psycho guy was a good idea.

             
I made it to Algebra without having any major meltdowns. We got our exams back and I was really pleased to see I got a C. For me, that was the equivalence of an A plus. Now if I could only keep it up for the next year, I might be lucky enough to score a small scholarship. Every little bit helped.

             
Biology ruined my good mood. Connor sat with Eugene, leaving me without a partner. Normally that wouldn’t bother me. I got better grades than him and usually did all the work when it came to experiments. At least working solo meant I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. Considering how tired and confused I was, it wasn’t a bad thing. But I wanted to talk to Connor, I’d made the decision last night that I would do whatever it took to win back his trust. But with Breanna falling all over him whenever she got the chance, it meant there wasn’t going to be a single free moment where I might have been able to get him alone. She was having a field day with the flirting, talking in a breathy voice and giggling and gushing over everything he said.

             
To my surprise Connor appeared to be flirting back with her. He even put his hand over top of hers when he knew I was watching. I might have been concerned if it wasn’t perfectly obvious he was trying to make me jealous. Eugene even confirmed it while we were in the back collecting our equipment for the days experiment.

             
“Have you ever seen anything so desperate?” he whispered to me.

             
“He’s really trying to rub the salt in, isn’t he?” I said as I picked up a microscope and the collection of DNA slides we’d be studying. “I’m not sure which one looks worse.”

             
“Being his best friend, I’m not at liberty to say,” Eugene said and he gave me a grin. “And I can sincerely say I hope the two of you get back together soon. I’d really like to skip basketball and actually sit down for lunch once in a while.”

             
“I wish it were that simple,” I said and I truly meant it.

             
Kian wasn’t in the cafeteria at lunch time and I spent the entire hour pretending I wasn’t looking for him.

             
“He’s not here,” Amber finally said.

             
“Huh? Who?”

             
“Who else? Kian. The one you keep scanning the room for. Don’t look at me that way, I know you too well. He didn’t come to class this morning.”

             
“Oh.”

             
“Try not to look so disappointed,” Amber said with a grin. “You look like you’re going to cry.”

             
“I’m tired,” I said. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

             
“And what were you doing?”

             
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” I said.

             
“You do look tired.” Claire looked up from the Advanced Chemistry book she was reading.

             
“I am. I’m going to head home after class and get some sleep. I’d skip this afternoon but I can’t cause I missed yesterday. It’s a shame, I’m totally ahead of everyone, I’m the only one who’s actually read the bloody book.”

             
“You skipped yesterday?”Claire looked appalled.

             
“It’s a long story.”

             
I began to gather up the uneaten remains of my lunch. But my hands were trembling and I couldn’t grasp my bottle of grapefruit juice. It slid from my fingers and hit the floor, glass and juice flying in all directions. The kids at the table beside us applauded.

             
“Are you all right, Mai?” Claire said. She bent down with me as I began picking up pieces of glass. “You seem really down.”

             
“I’m just tired,” I repeated. How on earth could I tell her what was going on? She’d never believe me. I didn’t even believe it myself. Yet things were happening to me that I couldn’t explain and the only person who could help me was giving me answers that couldn’t possibly be anything else except crazy talk.

             
But crazy or not, things were happening to me that couldn’t be explained any other way. I’d spent the entire night trying to figure out a logical explanation to how my hand had magically healed itself before my eyes. I’d tried to convince myself I’d imagined it but I knew that was a lie. I’d studied the internet to see if there were cases of such things happening but I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t out of a fantasy novel.

             
And no matter how much I wanted to avoid Kian for the rest of my life, I didn’t know how long that life was going to be.

             
“I’d better go,” I said once I’d picked up most of the glass and dropped it onto my cafeteria tray. “Before really wreck the place.”

             
“I’ll give you a call later,” Amber said. “Feel better.”

             
“Get some sleep,” Claire said.

             
I left the cafeteria in a daze, stopping at my locker briefly to grab my jacket and backpack. I wanted to have everything with me so I could escape the second English was over.

             
Amber was right. Kian wasn’t in class. I took my seat trying to ignore the pang of emptiness that wrapped itself around my stomach while I ignored his vacant seat. I couldn’t stop the annoying thoughts as they kept banging around my skull. Why was I wishing he was beside me when just yesterday, I told him to never talk to me again? I’d managed to spend most of the morning not thinking about it, now I just couldn’t let him go. Knowing he was supposed to be beside me right now was unbearable. The minute hand stopped working and time stopped. English class became a torture devise and I was destined to spend eternity waiting wondering why serendipity had forsaken me.

             
Years passed and finally the bell rang. I was the first one out of the classroom, my bag and jacket in hand and I made it into the parking lot in record time. I drove home carefully, determined not to fall asleep at the wheel.

             
Marley was in the kitchen on the phone and Granny was sleeping on the couch. I pulled a wool blanket from the closet and covered her frail body carefully. I thought about how nice it was to be blissfully unaware of everyone and then I got angry and annoyed at myself for thinking such a thing.