Unfaithful (40 page)

“What are these symbols?” I swallowed, studying them carefully as though I could decipher them.

“It’s Devanagari, a very ancient alphabet,” he said. “Some say it’s the language of the gods.”

“They’re tiny.” I continued to stroke his arm, following the lines on his skin as he turned gradually toward me, letting me examine them. For a moment, we both watched my fingers as they moved on him.

Evan looked into my eyes, his own intense. “It’s a map of what we are.”

I stroked the symbols in the center from which all the others seemed to emerge.

“That one appeared first,” he explained, seeming to recall the moment. “From there it spread out all over my arm.”

I touched his skin, imagining the pain he must have suffered when he was branded with the mark of the Children of Eve.

“
Yama
,” he murmured in a barely audible whisper. “He who irremediably draws souls to himself and to whom is entrusted their guidance and passage from one world to the other.”

Looking into his eyes, I saw them light up as if he’d been looking forward for some time now to revealing to me what was written there. “At first I didn’t know what it was. It all happened so fast. The mark appeared, then the Witch, and then I saw my lifeless body. I thought I’d been cursed—and I wasn’t altogether wrong. When Simon found me and made me eat of the tree, I looked at my arm and everything was instantly clear: I could read it.” He frowned, pulled into the memory despite himself. “Some of the marks are the same for all Subterraneans, while others define who we are and what our individual powers are.”

After a long moment, he pointed out one of the words:

“
Karmadeshabhuta
. It means ‘spirit that determines fate.’”

I touched the symbol, fascinated. Branching out from it were five small lines. I slowly traced the first one.

“
Jala
, water,” Evan said. He looked at me and I moved my finger again, stopping on the next line. “
Teyas
, fire,” he whispered, staring at my mouth, in his eyes the memory of the fire that had just consumed us. “
Vayu
, air. And this one here is the power of earth,
Bhumi
. We’re spirits of nature and can control its elements.” He turned his arm until my fingers were touching another word. “Life,
Ayus
.” He moved it again, focusing on another. “Death,
Mrty
. They’re all part of nature.”

“What about this one?”

“That’s pronounced
Mantra
. It means ‘free the mind.’”

The fire danced in the hearth, illuminating his tanned skin, his muscles flexing with each movement. I touched a symbol that looked more threatening than the others and Evan hesitated.

“
Amrit
,” he murmured grimly. “Deathless.”

“Evan,” I whispered, but he smiled at me, calm again.

“You’ll like this one.
Svapna
. It indicates my special power to enter others’ dreams.”

“
Svapna
. . . You’re right. I like it.”

“It’s different for each Subterranean. Drake has the symbol for transformation, shapeshifting. Simon has the one for deepest memories.” He pointed at other symbols. “These, on the other hand, appear on all Subterraneans.
Guhya
, hidden.
Tamas
, darkness.
Pranama
, obedience.
Amrta
, ambrosia.
Jyotis
, light.
Naitya
, eternity.
Atmanas
, souls.
Moksha
, salvation.”

I stroked his arm slowly, tracing the lines on the inside of his elbow.

With a shiver he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “
Bhoga
,” he whispered, pointing at one of the symbols. “Sensual pleasure.” His dark eyes probed mine, holding me captive.

I gave him a smile and went back to studying the symbols, fascinated. “What does this one mean?”

Evan fell silent, looking troubled. “
Vyaya
, loss.”

“
Vyaya
,” I repeated, touching it again, my heart heavy. It represented what we most feared. Tracing the mark with my finger, I noticed that the symbols forming it were interwoven with another word. He explained before I could ask about it.

“
Abhaya
, fearlessness.”

“You mean you’ve never been afraid?”

“Never. Not until I met you.” He looked at me intently and I held his gaze.

A smile escaped me. “Are you saying you’re afraid of me?” I teased, grinning.

He pulled me on top of him, only our underwear separating us. “I’m saying the thought of losing you is the only thing that’s ever terrified me,” he murmured onto my mouth. He touched my leg, slowly sliding his hand up my thigh, then clasped my rear and pulled me against him, sending a shiver through me.

“
Kama
,” he whispered, looking me in the eye. “Desire.”

I raised an eyebrow, mischief in my eyes. The heat of his erection pressing against me left me in a trance. “Desire? Is that what’s written there?”

With a laugh, Evan raised my hand to his neck and slid it down to his bare chest. “No. That’s what’s written
here
.”

It made me smile. “I think it’s written a bit farther down,” I teased. My eyes were drawn to the last word, which ran up his bicep. “And this one?”

Evan smiled and touched it, his finger brushing mine.

“
Ananda
, bliss. It’s what makes all Subterraneans hope for a reward and for Redemption,” he said.

I stared at his tattoo, realizing for the first time that some of them weren’t simple words, but sentences interconnected in a single design. I lay down on my side next to Evan. His face filled with intensity as he recited the words like a prayer.

“Ah, of course. It’s all so clear now.” I smiled to myself.

He laughed, easing the gravity of the moment, and proceeded to translate the quote: “May the auspicious favor of the gods be ours, on us descend the bounty of the righteous Gods. The friendship of the gods have we devoutly sought: so may the gods extend our life that we may live.”

“Amazing. It’s basically the path to Redemption!” I exclaimed.

Evan remained calm. “That’s what they say.”

For a moment he seemed lost in thought while another question arose in my mind. “When did you realize I could see your tattoo?” I asked. When a Subterranean manifested himself, mortals couldn’t see the mark. Only I could, for some reason neither of us understood.

“It was at school, when you were stealing glances at me from your desk. You looked at me and then at my tattoo. I couldn’t believe it.” Evan shook his head, still bewildered by my ability. “It’s amazing.” He laced his fingers with mine and guided our hands up, looking into my eyes. We lay there facing each other, palm to palm.

“Did you know the palm is full of nerve endings that connect to the entire body?” He moved his fingers and a tingle ran up my arm. “From here I can feel all your energy.”

An image crossed my mind: Drake claiming the soul of the boy on the street. I’d only been able to make myself look away for a moment, so I’d seen it happen. Drake had touched the spirit of the boy, who had then vanished. Did that mean their power to guide souls across worlds lay in their hands?

“There’s—there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you,” I said.

“I’m listening.”

“How do you . . . take people’s lives?”

Evan paused before answering. He probably hadn’t expected this question, given that I’d always avoided talking about it. “It’s an impulse I feel inside.”

“Could you end up killing me by accident? Do I run that risk?”

“Peter has run that risk lots of times,” he admitted, laughing. I punched him on the shoulder for not taking me seriously. “So did Daryl Donovan. I definitely would have liked to kill him.”

“Daryl I can understand. I mean, he tried to molest me at the prom. And then he provoked you at the party Jeneane threw at the end of the school year. But
Peter!
When?”

“Whenever I see you with him,” he admitted, leaning in to kiss me. “I can’t stand it when he’s around you.”

“You can’t feel the urge to kill him just for that!”

“Sure I can. It doesn’t mean I’ll act on it—unless he really makes me mad.” He laughed and looked at me again, his eyes roguish. “You, on the other hand, make me feel another kind of urge.”

“Mmm, what kind would that be?” His provocation took my mind off his threats toward Peter.

“Let me show you.” He arched an eyebrow and pinned me beneath him, his mouth touching me below the ear. A shiver ran down my neck and then another one, little tingles that tickled my heart. I laughed and pushed him back by the shoulders, but he continued to kiss me.

“Evan, how do you say ‘You’re inside me’?” I asked, remembering the words he’d said to me at the foot of the sacred tree.

He looked into my eyes, probing them.
“Antar mayy as.”

“Antar mayy as,”
I whispered, enchanted.

“Yatha tvam mayy asi
. . . Just as you are inside me,” he replied, holding my gaze. He raised my hand to his chest and his chain dangled between us.
“Mama hrdi
. . . In my heart.” He laced his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand as the throb of my heartbeat melted me.
“Mamatmani
. . . In my soul.”

I half closed my eyes because Evan had expressed exactly what I felt: he was inside me. In my heart. In my soul.

Unnoticed, time flew by like a silent thief who with every minute that passed stole another fragment of our incredible afternoon. I was happy, and when the thought that I’d had a brush with death crossed my mind, all I had to do was meet Evan’s gaze and everything else vanished.

God, how I loved him. His deep, dark eyes touched my soul every time they rested on me. Lying on the rug, I followed my instinct to stroke his hair. He circled my waist with his arm and my skin burned beneath his hand.

“Think we can spend the night here?” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. His unexpected suggestion left me wordless. I wished I could say yes—God knew how much I wanted to—but I couldn’t.

“My dad would kill me,” I said, smiling.

He touched his lips to my throat with incredible sweetness, trying to persuade me. “We can always find a solution,” he said between one light kiss and the next.

“I don’t think Drake is going to like being our pimp.”

He kissed me again. “I’m sure he would understand. I want to stay here alone with you.” I propped myself up on my side and Evan tucked my hair behind my ear. “I want to kiss you until you fall asleep and hold you all night even if you can’t feel it.”

“Is that all?” I cast him a sidelong glance and a sly smile escaped him. “You can always come to my house tonight,” I said.

Regret flashed across his eyes as if I’d made him remember something he didn’t want to recall. “That’s why I wish I didn’t have to leave you tonight. Because I’m going to have to face reality again and be apart from you.”