Unforgettable (19 page)

“I was angry and hurt, to say the least. I thought I loved her and that she loved me. I figured if someone I loved could hurt me so deeply, so completely, and then literally laugh in my face…then love wasn’t worth the pain. I didn’t want to be loved like that and I certainly wasn’t going to love anyone. Practically overnight, I turned my back on everything and everyone, including my friends and family. If I fixed it so that no one could possibly love or care about me, then I wouldn’t have to suffer that kind of pain, ever again. Her cruel words continued to haunt me and her hateful, mocking laughter filled my heart every time I started to let my guard down. So, I turned a cold heart to the world. In essence, I stopped living, only I didn’t realize it at the time.

“From then on, all I cared about was amassing a large enough fortune to make her jealous and very, very sorry she dumped me for him. That was all I lived for.

“I’m ashamed to admit it now but I became as vicious as a junkyard dog, snapping people’s heads off for no reason, taking my hurt and anger out on everyone who came near me. I was verbally and emotionally abusive. Over the years, people who knew me began calling me ‘The Heartless Lion’ behind my back. I knew about it but said nothing. It only served to feed my hatred and I began to believe there wasn’t one honest, kind and decent soul left in the world. Living in the bowels of New York City didn’t help either. Seeing all the greed, corruption and violence around me only made me believe I was right. I never saw the beauty or camaraderie of the majority of its people. I stopped noticing things like changing seasons or beautiful starlit nights like this one. My whole world…my whole purpose in life was working, making money and avoiding everything else.

“Through it all, only one person out of the hundreds of people I once knew still cared. That man was Liam. That old man was brave enough and loved me enough to stand up against ‘The Heartless Lion.’ He actually threatened to take everything away from me if I didn’t come here to build the store. I see now that he wanted to get me out of the negative influence of New York. He thought that, if I got away for long enough, I’d find a little of the old Patrick. I thought he was crazy but losing my fortune was completely unacceptable. He might as well have threatened to take away my very reason for living so, with great reluctance, I agreed to come here.

“Then, as I held you in my arms that day in the parking lot, something strange happened. All of a sudden, I could actually feel my heart beating in my chest. I was so worried about you that I forgot about me and my petty little problems. I forgot to be angry at the world for just a few seconds…that was all it took. When you opened your eyes and looked at me, I was thrilled. But then you passed out again and I was so terrified I could hardly breathe. After the doctor finally came out to tell me and Susan that you’d be fine, I felt such relief. For the first time in 10 years, I was happy about something besides money. All those years, people have called me ‘The Heartless Lion’ but, in that moment, I knew it was no longer true. When I heard you’d be okay, my heart soared! Here was proof that I could still care…that I still had a heart.

“Unfortunately, I had to return to New York and, the very next morning, I was mugged in broad daylight. That stupid kid held a gun on me and all the anger came rushing back like a slap in the face. It was as though I was being mocked and punished for letting my guard down so, for the two weeks I was back in New York, I tried to forget you and push the effect you had on me out of my head and out of my heart. I embraced the anger that kid brought back to the surface and ‘The Heartless Lion’ returned. But, try as I might, I couldn’t get your memory or your beautiful face out of my mind.

“Since I’ve been back…well, last night at the party, while I was watching you with your friends, seeing the gentle kindness in you and the way people look at you with love in their eyes…it made me believe there was hope for me yet. Every second I spend with you makes me a better person and I didn’t realize it fully until tonight. You’ve given me the greatest gift of all, Brittany…you’ve turned ‘The Heartless Lion’ into a purring kitten. Believe me when I tell you that, in your own way, you saved my life, too, and there aren’t enough words in the human language to say ‘thank you’ enough to express my gratitude.”

Brittany was silent, unsure how to respond. Patrick had shown her nothing but gentleness and kindness since the day they met. She knew the man standing before her now to be highly intelligent, humorous and a perfect gentleman. But the way he’d just described himself before he met her frightened her. It was a side of him she never wanted to see because, if she let down her guard, she could easily see herself curled up beside him in front of a roaring fire. Her lips still tingled from his barely there kiss and his fiery touch was wreaking havoc with her insides. As attracted to him as she was, it was going to be next to impossible to keep him out of her heart but she had to, for her own sake. She could not, would not, be hurt again.

“I guess when someone you care about turns on you like that it can cause a lot of damage…enough to make you mistrust the whole world,” Patrick said after a moment of silence when Brittany didn’t reply.

“Yes…yes it can,” Brittany finally responded. She pulled herself from the comfort of his arms, several painful memories throwing shadows in her mind. “We should be going now.”

Patrick wasn’t sure what he’d said to upset her, but something sure had. Before he knew what had happened, she’d bolted back into the dining room and, a few seconds later, they were in his car heading for her house.

“Brittany, what’s wrong? Was it something I said?” he pleaded, but she didn’t seem to hear him. He wasn’t going to let their evening together end with her not speaking to him. If she was angry with him for something, he could handle that. This was different, though. It was as if she was terrified, but of what? Him? What had he done to scare her? He wasn’t at all sure but he intended to find out. As soon as he found a safe place, he pulled the car onto the shoulder of the road and turned on the hazard lights.

Brittany was so lost in thought she didn’t even notice they’d stopped until he touched her, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin.

“Brittany?” he asked curiously, taking her small, icy cold hands into his large, warm ones.

“Is something wrong? With the car I mean?” she asked. She was a little shaken, her face ashen white.

“No, but something has obviously upset you terribly. Please tell me what it is. If something is wrong, you should let me know and I’ll help, if I can. If you need to know something about me, just ask. I’ll tell you the truth,” he said in a deep, gentle voice. His eyes found hers and held them.

Looking into Patrick’s eyes and searching his face, she saw only complete openness in their dark brown depths. This was her chance to ask all the questions she needed to know about him, but asking those questions now would tell him too much about her…things she wasn’t yet ready to reveal. She had no use for anyone who lied about anything but, for now, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him everything she’d been thinking and she couldn’t tell him exactly what had scared her. She would…eventually, she would tell him all of it but, right now, she only told him part of what she was feeling.

“The way you described yourself earlier reminded me of someone I used to know. It took me a long time to adjust when I finally got that person out of my life. You just brought a lot of old ghosts to the surface, I guess, and it scared me. I’m sorry, Patrick.” She knew he wasn’t asking for more than friendship from her and looking into his eyes showed her she had nothing to fear from him. She relaxed a little knowing that, and the change was visible.

“I assure you, the man I once was is long gone, never to return, Brittany. I owe that to you,” he said softly. Patrick wasn’t buying her explanation as the whole truth, but whatever it was that had spooked her a moment ago had changed a little. He realized he was still a stranger to her in many ways and, even though there was closeness between them, he knew she wasn’t ready to pull all her skeletons out of the closet and air them in front of him. He could accept that, for now. It was understandable. He had all the time in the world to get to know and understand this lovely lady. He’d wasted the last 10 years of his life and he wasn’t planning on wasting any more of it, or wasting a single second of his time with her. He smiled brightly.

“What do you want to do now?” he asked, happy to see her smile again. He was giving her the chance to pull back from him, if she wished, but prayed she wouldn’t put an end to their night just yet.

“Why don’t we go back to my house for coffee and you can tell me more about Ireland?” she replied, a little more relaxed than she’d been a moment ago.

Patrick smiled. It was a safe subject and it would allow her to get to know him better and put aside her fears. Best of all, it gave him more time with her.

“Your wish is my pleasure, pretty lady,” he replied, pulling back onto the road.

Patrick had been telling her a humorous story from his father’s childhood in County Antrim. As a boy, it had been one of his favorites.

“I don’t believe you! You’re making that up!” Brittany laughed as they entered the house. She hung their coats on a peg in the front hallway.

“Tis true lass, sure enough. If yer not believin’ me, then ask Johnny O’Flannery yerself! He ne’er could lie ta such a beautiful lass as yerself,” Patrick replied in the Irish accent that came so naturally to him. Brittany laughed joyfully, her eyes sparkling with glee.

“Flattery and that accent will get you everywhere with me,” she giggled jokingly.

Patrick gently nudged her against the wall until she stood firmly against it. He placed one hand on the wall next to her head, preventing her escape. With the other hand, he traced the outline of her jaw and bottom lip, his eyes resting on widening blue eyes.

“Will it?” he growled playfully, his voice deep and husky with desire. He bent his head and kissed her…a long, gentle, loving kiss not meant to startle or scare her. He pulled away after a few seconds and tried to look into her eyes to see her reaction but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. Instead, she quickly ducked under his arm and walked into the living room.

“Well, almost everywhere,” she laughed nervously. “Can I get you a drink?” she asked. She decided to ignore his actions even though a part of her desperately wanted to run back and jump into his arms. However, her self-protective side won, forcing her to turn away and ignore his advances. As long as she kept ignoring his advances, his kisses and caresses, he’d eventually give up any notions of romance and settle for friendship, or so she told herself. It wouldn’t be easy, though. Just his gaze made her tremble while his kisses made her melt and his touch caused her body to tingle all over. With all three combined, as they had been a moment ago, she felt like she’d burst into flame in a heartbeat. She couldn’t deny the fact that her fingers itched to run madly through his wild black hair and her hands ached to touch him. She wanted to curl up in his arms and feel as safe, protected and loved as she had earlier this evening.

Patrick turned and slumped against the wall, groaning. The funny thing about Brittany was that she had no idea just how much she turned him on. He wanted her…wanted her more than any woman he’d ever met. She had long, beautiful, shapely legs that went all the way up and had no mercy on his eyes or his body. He groaned again as he watched her walk away from him, her skirt swaying softly with the movement. Lord, she was gorgeous! No wonder he hadn’t been able to forget about her while he was in New York.

He was convinced she didn’t know how beautiful and desirable she was. Every time he’d complimented her tonight, she’d blushed bright red and felt uncomfortable for several minutes afterwards. She was even too embarrassed to say ‘thank you’ and Patrick knew it was because she didn’t believe him.

Every moment he spent with her, he found more things to like about her and found himself wanting her even more. Although she wasn’t the type for one night stands or short term lovers, he intended to wear her down by touching her, holding her and kissing her as often as possible, until she quit ignoring the sparks that flew between them and let herself go.

“A drink would be nice,” he answered. As Brittany disappeared into the kitchen, Patrick walked into the living room and busied himself looking at the contents of her curio cabinet. He was still admiring everything when she returned with the drinks.

“That’s quite a collection you have going there,” he said, accepting his drink.

“Thanks, but that isn’t even half of it. I have a spare room upstairs that holds most of the angels and water globes I’ve collected over the years and each one is special and precious to me. These are just a few of my very favorites,” Brittany explained, nodding at the cabinet. Patrick smiled when he saw the water globe he’d sent to her sitting right up front.

“Really? How did you get started collecting those two particular items?”

“Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. As a child, I used to be fascinated with the angel ornaments when they were brought out each year and I love to watch it snow, especially at night. There’s just something magical, beautiful and fascinating about them both. It’s kind of ironic, don’t you think…” she said as they made their way to the sofa and sat down, “…that when we first met, I thought you were my Guardian Angel and you kept calling me Earth Angel, even before we knew each other? Then you sent me that particular water globe as if you knew I collected them.”

“Ironic? Perhaps. Fate? Definitely!” he replied with a smile. She was about to ask him what he meant by that when he asked, “Where do you make all your crafts for The Breezeway?”

“Down in the basement,” she replied, caught off guard.

“May I see your workshop?”

“Sure, I guess. There’s not much to see, really,” she said as she led him downstairs to the fully refinished basement.

Along one wall was a sofa, coffee table, two chairs, end tables, a TV and a small living area. Along another wall stood a small refrigerator, freezer, two small cabinets and a sink. The rest of the room was covered from floor to ceiling with shelves containing yarns, ceramics, green ware, molds and thousands of other craft odds and ends. There was one long table she used for working on individual items and, set in the farthest corner, a kiln for baking ceramics. One entire wall was comprised of a huge, walk-in closet filled with finished items, each one wrapped in plastic to protect it from dust or breakage.