Unforgiven (21 page)

“Still think I owe you some words, do you?”

“I don’t give a fuck about your words, but I’ll be damned if I don’t share mine.” She was practically spitting as she spoke, and when she took a step toward him, she shared the only thing she had left to give. “Utterly cruel. . .” She took another step. He watched her with an almost amused expression on his face, but he couldn’t control the tension in his jaw, and it gave him away. “Hateful.” Another step, and she watched as the tension spread to his neck. “Pathetic.” Another step, and now she could see his jaw clenching and releasing over and over. His nostrils flared, and the muscles of his neck were strained so hard she thought they might snap. His face was still cold and completely controlled, but he was losing it, and she didn’t need him to say a word to see it. “Hollow.” She was standing right in front of him now, peering up into his now livid dark and dangerous eyes. “Dead.”

“I hate you.” He looked like he could barely speak through his gritted teeth and tight jaw. She wasn’t offended by his words. She’d already hit her offense limit for the morning, and he was only saying it because she’d won.

“Well, then, you and I have something in common.” His brow flinched in confusion before he could stop the reaction. “We’ve both been on the receiving end of your hate. Whadya say? I’ll forgive myself if you forgive yourself. Dare ya.” He stared at her. He was panting, and his eyes glossed as he looked at her. He swallowed over what looked like a golf ball he couldn’t get down, and then his breath left him in a pained rush.

He turned from her and walked away, saying nothing. She’d gotten to him, there was no question. But he’d not given in. His defenses were locked in place, and after she heard him drive away, she crumpled to the floor and sobbed again. The entire encounter had exhausted her, and she ended up falling asleep on his bed for an hour before she finally climbed up, stripped the bedding, and tossed it in the wash.

She called Michelle and gave her the blow-by-blow while Michelle locked herself in her office. She occasionally hollered to some unknown interruption that she was on an important business phone call and to leave her alone.

“Girl, you have got balls as big as the state fair grand champion-winning bull or pig bull or the pig equivalent to a bull or whatever . . . That was a fail, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was a fail. But I saw the largest bull exhibit once, and them are some big ass balls. So, I got the meaning, and I’ll take that as a compliment.” Her tension was finally melting to some degree. She was hurt. More than hurt, but she’d stuck up for herself, and God, she needed that.

“Listen, I gotta go. Apparently the business stops running when I lock myself in my office for an hour. Oh, hey, we have a cashier spot opening up soon. It’s yours if you want it.”

“Oh, Michelle. I’ll think about it, but honestly, I think I would hate working for you.” She was actually a bit serious when she said it because in truth, she didn’t want any strains on the only friendship she had. Didn’t mean she wouldn’t think about it. But then, she was starting to think about Memphis too. She hadn’t agreed to stick around so she could be emotionally tortured by him, and promise or not, after the night before and the morning she’d had, she didn’t feel like she owed him much of anything.

“Okay. Don’t forget about the Summer Kick-Off Festival this Friday. We’re going.”

“Tell me again why we celebrate a completely made-up holiday in the middle of June by setting off fireworks three weeks before the Fourth of July?”

“Surplus in the budget? I don’t know.”

“I’ll see you then.”

She took Macy for a long run that afternoon. She pushed through more miles than she likely had any business going, and when she got back, she fed Macy and left for the day. There was no way in hell she’d be sticking around to see him today. There was actually no way in hell she’d be putting herself in his path at all anymore. She really wanted to reach him, soften him, see if there was any way he could ever forgive her. But she was giving up, and that was a sad thing to admit.

“Jess, your brother is one stubborn, stubborn man.” She spoke to the quietness around her as she sat on her steps after arriving home, and in her mind she saw Jess smirking at her. It was the same smirk Darren had.

I think Dare has a crush on you. Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed.

She could still see Jess’ smiling face looking at her from the passenger seat of Darren’s car. She could hear her voice too, just like it was yesterday. Yes, Darren had a crush on her once. But that was gone. It simply didn’t exist anymore—not the chance of it, not the hope of it. It was just a memory, just like Jess’ sweet, smiling, always mischievous face.

There was no denying he was looking for her. He’d run into Michelle, and she’d given away their plans for Friday night, though when she realized it, she quickly tried to backpedal and then resorted to threatening him to stay away from Bailey. Nice to see she had one friend who cared about her. He was stopped constantly by townsfolk to chat. He was used to it.

He’d been upset with Bailey when she’d verbally kicked his ass all the way across his bedroom. He’d been livid for half the day, and he’d used that emotion to plunge headlong into his work. He was good at functioning through misery. In fact, he became a rock star professionally when his personal life was turning to shit. He’d just learned to use his work as a coping method. But that night when he’d gotten home, there was nothing left to pacify him.

He’d nearly gone to her place to talk to her. Nearly. He’d never struggled so much in his life to get out of his own way. He was so pathetically conflicted when it came to her—so much so that he couldn’t ever keep his feet going in a straight line. One second, he wanted her so powerfully he was ready to forget every awful thought and feeling that passed through his mind. The next moment something happened, and he wanted to unleash his anger on her. He was all over the place with her emotionally, but in truth, he was only really happy when he decided to stow the anger and pain for a while and just let them be. He just couldn’t seem to maintain that mindset.

It was now days later, and he didn’t simply want to see her, he needed to see her. She’d said nothing wrong to him at all, and when she rattled off her words, every last one was true. He had no idea what he wanted to say to her now, but something needed to be said, and he was tired of feeling anxious, waiting until he could see her.

He moved through the throngs of blankets spread out on the high school football field. Everyone was getting ready for the fireworks show. They were the only town in the world that set off fireworks in mid-June, but hey, who didn’t love fireworks. He finally found them sitting with their legs stretched out in front of them on a large blanket. He watched her as he approached from a distance. She was stared at constantly by everyone around her, and he couldn’t imagine what it must be like for her—always being the center of attention for all the wrong reasons.

When he approached, she looked at him, and her lips parted. Michelle eyed him venomously and cussed under her breath.

“I need to talk to you.” She just stared up at him. She didn’t look at all interested in coming with him. He crouched down to her level at her feet and tried again. “Please.”

She looked to Michelle for a moment, and Michelle cocked her head to the side. She was definitely not on his side. Bailey finally nodded, but her face remained leery. He stood and offered her a hand. As fate would have it, Veronica spotted him from fifty or so odd feet away, and she instantly hollered and waved to him. He had no intention of going to see her, but he didn’t need to. Within moments, she was by his side, only just then taking in his company.

Bailey was suddenly rigid at his side, and when he glanced to her, she looked like she was in hell.

Veronica took in Bailey and sneered. “Oh . . . you’re that girl I fired. Betsy, or whatever your name is.”

“Her name’s Bailey. Listen, I’m kind of busy right now. Maybe we can talk some other—”

Veronica’s face fell, and she looked between him and Bailey with utter confusion. “Oh . . . yeah, sure.” She wasn’t taking the hint very well. “Well, I just wanted to say I was sorry we had to cut our date short the other night.” She reached for his arm with a cruel glint in her eyes aimed squarely at Bailey. She was trying to make Bailey jealous, and because Bailey had no idea there was no reason to be jealous, it was working. “Sorry, you weren’t feeling well. We’ll just have to try again some other time.” She caressed his arm, and he pulled away.

Bailey looked at him, her eyes wide. He didn’t look away from her when he responded to Veronica. “I don’t think so, Veronica. Sorry, I’m just not interested.” Bailey’s lips pursed and her brow flinched before she looked down to his chest. Veronica was huffing beside them, and when he glanced to her, she was staring incredulously back.

“What? Because of her?” She was indicating Bailey beside him. “You’re the one who told me she was a convict. A convict!” She was starting to cause a scene, not that anyone surrounding them didn’t already know she was a convict. The only reason Veronica hadn’t was because she wasn’t local.

“Like I said, I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen.” And then he looked back at Bailey, ignoring Veronica until she finally left. “We really need to talk.” She just nodded. “Michelle, I’m stealing her.”

“So long as you return her in one piece.” She was threatening him with her eyes, and she was pretty damn good at it. About as good as Jess used to be. Bailey sure inspired fiercely protective friends. He’d been one of them once.

“Well, you’re just going to have to wait until tomorrow to find out because I’m keeping her for the night.”

“Darren . . . I came with Michelle. I really shouldn’t. I don’t want to leave her alone.”

Michelle stood then. “It’s okay. You go. I’ll be fine.” She shot daggers at him again but eventually sighed. He pecked her on the cheek, and she patted his shoulder. She might want to protect Bailey from him, but she had never been his enemy. Not ever.

“She’ll be fine.” Michelle nodded, and he pulled Bailey along with him toward the parking lot.

“You didn’t—” She was talking from behind him.

He stopped and rounded toward her. She nearly careened into him. The eyes of the crowd were still following them, picking up new onlookers the farther they waded through the sea of blankets. “I didn’t.”

“But your bed was—” She looked humiliated that she was asking.

“Exactly as it always is when I don’t sleep well.” He was reassuring her. He was protecting her feelings in exactly the same way he always had when they were young. And it felt fucking amazing.

“I was so cruel to you the other morning. . .”

“No more so than I am to you. I can handle it.”

He took her hand and started for his car again, ignoring the tennis-court eyes that followed them. When they reached his car, he turned to her again. He was struggling. He needed to say something, and it had been so damn long since he’d let his guard down with her that it was hard to plead. “Don’t give up yet.” He studied her eyes and then decided to humble himself even more. “There are times when I’m with you that I feel more at peace than I have in so long. I’m not asking you for anything more than time. And perhaps a bit of an open mind.” Her brow furrowed in confusion.

“Open mind for what?” She sounded suspicious.

He pulled her up next to him and turned her around to face his car. He didn’t move in on her body, but he clasped and held her hands to the side of his car as he leaned to her ear. “Open mind to just let go for a while. Give up the expectations and assumptions.” He was hard and aroused as he spoke, and while his words weren’t entirely about that, he wasn’t going to deny that part of what he wanted was very sexual. He wanted her to feel how aroused he was, and before he had a chance to rationalize that the parking lot likely wasn’t the best place to show her, he pushed his groin against her lower back, and she dropped her forehead to his driver’s side window. “We work so hard against one another. I’m tired of the fight. It’s exhausting, and it doesn’t feel good. Not like this does.” He bit the side of her neck gently and lashed his tongue across her skin.

The first of the fireworks started exploding in the sky behind them. He kissed her neck, and he waited for a response. “Okay.” He pushed against her again, and she whimpered. He reached around her to her breast, slipping his hand beneath the low-fitting neckline of her shirt. He lifted her breast up above her bra, and he squeezed and groped the soft, supple skin.

“God, I want to taste these.” He dropped his free hand down along her side to her waist. He pulled her hips back to him, opening up the space in front of her just enough for his hand. He cupped her sex through her jeans, and she gasped. “And more than that, this.” He squeezed her through her jeans, and she pushed her bottom back into his groin, and it was his turn to groan. “Come home with me.” His voice was breathy, and he was terrified of what she’d say. She nodded, and he sighed.

“Yes.”

They were silent as he drove, and he kept his hands to himself, though his fingers were twitching to touch her again. There was no hatred at the moment, no pain, no blame, just want. He was going to set himself free with her to do things he likely had no business doing and that she had no business allowing. It might well be a mistake, and he suspected it was, but he hoped like hell it wasn’t. He just had to know.