Ungifted (42 page)

Next to me, Ethan had been as silent as the grave, but he shifted awkwardly and I could only guess his thoughts. They were probably somewhere in the neighborhood of “I told you so.”

He didn’t look particularly smug, but I still got angry. I wasn’t angry with him, just frustrated with the situation. “Having to babysit a mentally unstable freak doesn’t exactly sound like a very fulfilling life,” I said. “Shouldn’t Ethan have a choice? I know you created him specifically for this, but he’s still a person. He shouldn’t have to do this if he doesn’t want to.”

“Ethan does have a choice. The Creator would never take a person’s agency from him. That is why the bond isn’t fully formed until after he pledges his oath. It is also why you must accept that oath. You have a choice as well. You may both choose not to follow the destiny the Creator has laid out for you.”

“Can I choose not to be the Ungifted One?”

Michael’s smile faded the tiniest bit. “You have already made that choice. It was a choice you made long ago, before coming to Earth. You and your sister made it together. You knew there would be no changing your mind. This destiny was of your own free will. Just as Ethan chose to come to Earth to be your warrior.”

Well, I don’t know much about anything, but I can tell you one thing for certain. I used to be an idiot in my past life. Didn’t matter now, though. I’d apparently made the choice and was stuck with it. Thanks a lot, Grace. I gave up my argument with a sigh.

“It is not how you imagine, Grace. You will not lose yourselves, but rather, set yourselves free. Accept your connection and you will find a joy that no one else on this earth is capable of feeling.”

“How can you be so sure?” Ethan asked. I was surprised to hear him speak. Until now, I’d been doing all of the arguing. I was beginning to fear that I was the only one not thrilled with this plan. “You’re not the same as us. You aren’t even a warrior. You’re an angel. You love everyone. You want to love everyone. What if Grace and I can’t—what if we accept this and nothing changes? What if we have to live inside each other’s heads and…”

“And have to know exactly what we think of each other?” I asked dryly when Ethan couldn’t finish his thought. “Don’t worry, Ethan. I already have a pretty good idea what you think of me.”

Ethan glared at me and then gave his father a distressed look.

“I understand what you both fear, but it won’t be that way,” Michael promised.

“But how do you know?” Ethan asked.

Michael sighed. “You are not exactly like me,” he agreed. “But what you are, son, you are so that you can possess angelic traits. You have the power of an angel with just enough humanity that you can live safely on Earth. That is the only difference between us.

“Once you come fully into your power you will feel love the way the angels feel love, and an angel’s sole purpose is to love. When you bond with a human, it is a lot like when a mortal is overcome with an angel’s glory. Without that bond your mortal bodies wouldn’t be able to comprehend such feelings. If you are afraid, ask your mother about it. It is not exactly the same, but very similar to the bond she shares with me. When a mortal is overcome by an angel’s glory, they are given the gift of angelic love. Your mother feels love the way the angels do.”

I felt my heart drop all the way past my stomach and into my toes. I would be like Ms. Dunn? About Ethan? I wasn’t ready for that kind of connection with anyone, much less someone who hated me. He talked about having agency, but Ms. Dunn didn’t seem as if she had any choice. She was blindly in love with her angel. Forever.

Apparently I wasn’t the only one upset by the thought of Ethan’s mom. “How could you do that to her!” Ethan roared, jumping to his feet.

I was shocked and admittedly curious to see what would happen when Ethan unleashed years of suppressed anger on the Archangel Michael.

“You’re supposed to be an angel!” Ethan shouted. “You’re supposed to love her! She pines over you so much she’s miserable! Do you even care that you’ve ruined her life? Do you care that her own people have disgraced her? She’s alone and in love with a man she never sees! You’re capable of coming to Earth every now and then, yet in sixteen years you’ve never stopped by for a visit! You never came to see if she was okay!”

“Ethan,” Michael whispered. The angel couldn’t bring himself to look his son in the eyes. “If I came to your mother, even for a few minutes, it would only make things harder.”

“YOU LEFT HER!” Ethan screamed. “How does she know you didn’t do this to her and forget all about her? Do you even feel bad about what you did to her? Do you ever even ever think about her? And now you expect Grace and me to just blindly trust you and curse ourselves with the same stupid, pointless, blind devotion that my mom shows you?” Ethan took a moment to catch his breath, and when he spoke again his voice was ice-cold. “You don’t deserve her.”

In that moment, my heart stopped. I think maybe even time stopped for a few seconds. I couldn’t believe Ethan had spoken like that to an archangel. Didn’t he realize this was the guy who banished the devil and all his demons? The toughest guy ever to exist? The very favorite angel of the Almighty?

While I waited for some kind of Armageddon to start, Russ leaned over and muttered, “Whoa. Ethan has some serious balls.”

I elbowed him.

No lightning bolts rained down from the heavens. Instead, Michael’s entire body sagged, making him look ancient beneath his young face. “I am sorry for what I have done to you Ethan,” he said in a way that made me think angels invented humility. “I understand how you feel, and, believe it or not, I often feel I don’t deserve your mother, either. But I promise you, I love her. I did not choose her randomly. I watched her for years before I approached her, and I fell for her. I belonged to your mother long before she knew I existed, and even had she turned me down, I still would have loved her. I wanted to stay with her. With both of you. The only reason I left is because she asked me to, and I love her too much to deny her anything she wants. My place is with the Creator,” Michael admitted somewhat regretfully. “But someday your mother will join me.”

Ethan flinched in surprise.

“She doesn’t know it yet, but after her life on this Earth, she will be changed. She will be made angelic and given immortality as a reward for her sacrifice. And you, my son, will be able to join us as well. That was the gift the Creator gave me. I cling to the knowledge that one day I will have my family with me. It is the only way I can bear the separation. It kills me to be apart from you.”

Michael paused for a minute and the tiniest smirk appeared on his face. “I watch the two of you so much the Creator often threatens to turn me to dust and put me out of my misery.”

That thought made me do a double take. Apparently the Creator had a sense of humor to go with her irony.

Michael laughed at the expressions on all of our faces and then sighed again. “And now I must be going,” he said. “It is not good for an angel to be too long in the presence of a human, even the Ungifted One.” He placed a hand tentatively on Ethan’s shoulder. “I beg you to forgive me, son, and trust that I love you and your mother more than you can possibly understand.”

Ethan stayed silent but managed to nod his head once.

“Swear Grace your warrior’s oath,” Michael urged softly. “Have faith in me and give yourself over to her. It’s what you both need. Then, when you’re ready, come to me again, without Grace present, so that we can begin your training.”

Ethan didn’t nod at this request, but his father didn’t seem to need an answer. He hugged his dazed son and then smiled at me. “Farewell, Grace St. Claire. Thank you for calling me and reuniting me with my son. Take very good care of him for me.”

I couldn’t really speak out loud, either, but I couldn’t deny Michael his request. I wasn’t sure I could accept any warrior’s oath should it come my way, but I could try to look out for Ethan. I nodded, inwardly vowing to find a way to get over my hate for Ethan and hopefully make his life a little less miserable.

Ethan and I were both so out of it that Russ had to pull us each by the sleeve to get us in motion. As we started back for the car, Michael called out one last time. “Russell?” he asked.

All of us were shocked to learn that Michael knew who Russ was. We turned around slowly, Russ looking entirely too wary all of a sudden.

“The Creator is not unaware of you, son,” Michael said with a smile that was for Russ alone. “She loves you and is grateful for the way you’ve taken care of her beloved Chosen Ones. As a thank-you, she is allowing me to train you along with Ethan.”

Ethan and Russ exchanged shocked glances over my head.

“You will not have Ethan’s power, of course, but there is still much I can teach you. You have your own gifts. I can show you how to combine your magic with standard combat skills. You are very powerful and have a strong heart. You can be of much good to your friends, and a strong opponent to your enemies. If you’d like, I can teach you to be a great warrior.”

For a minute, Russ looked so surprised that I thought he might pass out. But he quickly composed himself and said, “Could you teach me to use my magic properly? ’Cause good old Dad sort of dropped the ball there.”

Michael looked as if he was trying to stay serious, but how could anyone resist Russ? He broke into a light laugh and nodded. “It just so happens I know a great warlock who owes me a favor. Come train with Ethan and I’ll arrange for him to mentor you.”

Russ nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

“Thank you,” Michael replied. “And keep up the good work.”

I looked at Russ to give him an encouraging smile and when I looked back, Michael was gone.

“So are you guys gonna
do it, or what?”

Neither Ethan nor I had said so much as two words since we had left the river. We were almost back to my house now, and the silence was really starting to get to Russ.

“How does one swear an oath of fealty, anyway? Do you get down on one knee, like a proposal? Are there specific words you have to say? Are you supposed to give her a ring, or is your soul enough?”

“Russ!” I snapped, horrified. “Do you mind?”

Russ was completely unfazed. “Look, you two need to lighten up before your heads explode. Seriously, maybe you should just take the plunge. Then you might not be so cranky around each other all of the time.”

Ethan looked as if he were ready to murder Russ, and at this point I’m not sure I would have minded too much. “Nobody’s swearing anything right now, so shut up or I’ll dump you out of the car right now.”

“Fine,” Russ grumbled. “Geez. But this is exactly the kind of buzzkill I’m talking about.”

“Russ!” I hissed again.

“All right. All right.” Russ shut his mouth and managed to sulk quietly for a couple minutes before starting in again. “You guys are no fun today. Let’s go do something to help you relax. I know—let’s go get pedicures!”

“Pedicures?” I laughed.

“You want to take Grace to get her toenails done?” Ethan asked.

“Not just Grace. Dani and I always used to give each other pedicures. I’ve always wanted to get a real one, but we didn’t have a nail salon in Carmine.”

Ethan looked so disgusted that Russ laughed at him. “Have you never had your feet rubbed with a good exfoliating scrub?”

Ethan looked as if he was waiting for the punch line. “Um, no.”

“Dude, you’re gonna love it.”

“You’re seriously going to go get a pedicure?”

“Hell yes. You in, Gracie?”

“Definitely. My toes could use a touch up.” I giggled and looked at Ethan. “How about you?”

“Are you kidding? Russ is going to get his toenails done? This I have got to see.”

Twenty minutes later, we’d completely managed to escape the awkwardness and stress our conversation with Michael had caused. Russ tried to convince Ethan to join in the fun, but Ethan pulled the guard duty excuse.

When we got to paraffin wax, Russ groaned with pleasure. “I’ll never settle for a home pedicure ever again. Seriously, Ethan, you’ve got to try this.”

Ethan just stood there, watching Russ with an incredulous look. “I can’t decide if this makes you less of a man or more.”

“More,” I said. “It takes a truly secure man to embrace his softer side.”

“I absolutely agree!” chirped a cheerful voice from the front of the salon. “You thinking of giving it a try, Ethan?”