Universal Alien (40 page)

M
ANAGED TO KEEP
my jaw from dropping, but only just. “What's up, Kitty?” Stryker asked. “You look like you've seen a ghost.”

The Ghost of Bad Fashions and Worse Hygiene Past, but managed not to say that, either. “Just been a long day.” That was certainly true.

“We're in a hurry,” Martini said.

Stryker rolled his eyes. “When aren't you?”

“Don't mouth off to him like that,” I snapped. One of the guys, who was wearing sunglasses, jerked and swiveled his head toward me. Right, that was Yuri Stanislav and he was indeed blind. He also looked a little freaked out.

“You're in a mood,” Stryker said, shooting me a baleful look. “Still a little sensitive about screwing things up with Australia?”

“You'll fix it,” one of the other guys, who faded memory told me was Ravi Gaekwad, said. The Beauty Queen was sitting on his desk and it appeared they were an item. No accounting for taste, but whatever. At least Ravi looked normal. Looked at Stryker again. Ravi looked incredibly good by comparison.

“Thanks. We need to get moving,” I said to Martini, in part to avoid staring at Stryker. He hadn't looked like this for years now, not since I'd convinced him that a bestselling author should take a modicum of care with his personal hygiene and wardrobe.

To see that what I considered First Iteration Stryker was apparently Only Iteration Stryker in this world was unsettling at best and horrifying at worst. And the hope that maybe he wasn't an author here was dashed by looking at the shelf above his head—where all twelve books in the
Taken Away
series were prominently and proudly displayed.

“Right.” Martini hustled us over to what looked like a big computer server but which, when the front was opened, turned out to be empty. Martini fiddled with something I couldn't see and I realized there was a gate inside. Clever. Why they had to hide it in their own building was beyond me, but like so many things alien, I just went with “whatever.”

“We're set for a noon meeting, meaning they're going to let you guys break bread with them,” James said. “This is good. But we're pretty sure they expect us to blow it again. Plan for press to be there in full force.”

“We'll handle it.” I would have defended our plan, such as it was, but I was too busy eavesdropping on the guys Martini said my CA called Hacker International. They were speaking softly, but I caught the gist—Yuri thought I sounded wrong. And he wanted to call Tito in to check and see if I was an android.

The other four were readying to tackle me in an effort to ensure that I couldn't harm anyone or steal Jamie. Which was rather heroic, all things considered. However, it would mean that, in order to explain what was really going on, we'd have to tell even more people what
was
going on, and I knew that wasn't in anyone's best interests.

Yuri hadn't reacted to the first thing I'd said. He'd reacted when I'd told Stryker not to be rude to Martini. Meaning that it wasn't the sound of my voice but the words I was saying or the tone I'd used, or both, that had made Yuri react.

Time to go back to high school, which Charles and I had been in when he'd first found Stryker. “What are the five of you whispering about like you're in grade school?” I asked as I went over to them. “You'd better not be watching porn on our time.”

“Ah, Kitty,” Yuri said. “Why don't you let us hold Jamie for a minute?”

“Because I don't trust any of you not to drop her on her head. Seriously, what's up with all of you?”

“Sounds like Kitty to me,” Stryker muttered.

“Yuri might be right,” a small Chinese guy who I was fairly sure was named Henry Wu said nervously.

“I don't know,” Ravi sounded worried. “Might be her. Might not be.”

“Oh my God, seriously? This is what the powwow is about? It's me. I had a concussion in case you didn't register that. Sorry if I'm not making your days with witty banter right now. We're in the middle of a crisis.”

“When aren't you?” the tall black guy, who memory shared was Big George Lecroix, asked. “But, just to make everyone feel comfortable, what do you call us?”

“You mean besides my favorite idiots? Hacker International.”

Big George shrugged. “Works for me.”

“Great,” James said, coming over. “While we'll have several hours to kill before your luncheon, let's kill them in Australia, shall we?” He put his hand on my back and steered me back to Martini. “Now, if we can start going through and actually get to Sydney Base, that would make everyone, the President and myself in particular, happy.”

“We're ready, James.” Martini indicated that the others should start walking through. Which they did. The slow fade was unsettling to watch, so I didn't.

“Do we carry Jamie through?” I asked him quietly.

“Yep. I'll be carrying both of you.” He grinned and kissed the top of my head. “You never have to go through a gate alone unless I'm not around, baby.” Noting Yuri noting this exchange.

It took what seemed like forever but really was only about two minutes for everyone else and all the luggage to go through. Evalyne and Phoebe wanted to go last, but Martini overruled them.

“Are they trustworthy?” I jerked my head toward the hackers. If they were the same as or better than I remembered, then these were probably the best hackers in the world right now, meaning they were extremely smart in a lot of ways. Ways that might help me.

“Your CA thinks so, yeah.”

“Yuri suspects. I think I can keep them from blowing my cover, if it's okay.”

He sighed. “Make it fast.”

Handed Jamie to her father and went over to the hackers. “Yuri's right,” I said softly. “But I'm not an android. I'm in Bizarro World, and your Kitty's changed places with me. I don't know how to get back and I'm not sure that she does, either. Can you work on that while we're in Australia?”

“I knew it!” Yuri said triumphantly. The others looked interested and freaked out in about equal measures. But none of them looked like they didn't believe me, and that was good.

“Keep it down and keep it to yourselves. And, see what you can come up with for inter-universe exchanges.” Refrained from mentioning anything about their clothing or personal grooming choices and hightailed it back to Martini.

He gave Jamie back to me and swung me up into his arms. Held her tightly and leaned my face into him, and away we went.

If the transfer from D.C. to Paris had sucked, the transfer from D.C. to Sydney was a million times worse. It took all I had not to throw up, but just when I thought there was going to be nothing I could do to stop from barfing, we stopped and hit solid ground.

Opened my eyes as Martini put me down and took Jamie from me quickly. “We're close to a bathroom,” he said quietly.

Shook my head. “I think I can manage it. You'd think I'd get used to it, wouldn't you?”

He patted my back gently. “Some things make the gate transfers harder.”

Before I could ask what those things were, the others were around us. “Let's get everyone into housing,” James said briskly. “We may not be here for more than a few hours, but let's be comfortable in that time. Everyone take about thirty minutes to settle in and then we'll regroup and go over strategy.”

Sydney Base looked a lot like what I'd seen of the Science Center, only smaller, as far I could tell. Australian A-Cs were just as gorgeous as the rest, so that was nice and normal.

Housing in a Base wasn't like at the Embassy, at least not what I'd seen of the Embassy. We were put into what was basically a really nice hotel room. Thankfully, we had two beds in the room—one king, one full. Had to figure the Operations Team had set this up especially for us, but I appreciated it.

There was a knock at the door. “Enter,” Martini said. The door whooshed open.

“Wow, how very
Star Trek
.”

“It's nice, isn't it?” Richard asked as he came in. “I'm right next door and since it took me all of two minutes to unpack, I was hoping I could steal Jamie and show her around the Base. I don't believe she's been here before.”

“Yay! Can I go with Uncle Richard, Mommy? Can I?”

Looked at Martini who grinned. “Sure, why not?”

“It's okay with Daddy, so it's okay with me. Be good, have fun, and remember that we're going to have lunch with important people so don't eat anything to spoil your appetite.” Jamie hugged and kissed us, then Richard took her hand and led her out, Mous-Mous on her shoulder.

“Uh, is everyone around us?” I asked as I unpacked Jamie's bag.

Martini shrugged. “Should be. But, don't worry—Chuck's in a single room. And he's not in love or even romantically interested in Amadhia, by the way.”

“Huh?”

“I felt your jealousy. He just thinks the same as I do—if we leave her alone right now we leave her vulnerable to attack. Probably the same with Aaron, especially since he's now firmly on our side. Amadhia and Aaron have single rooms. They're not romantically interested in each other, either. Both of them are just too excited about the fantastic day and grand adventure they're having to focus on romance with anyone.”

“Oh. Uh, good. I guess.”

He ran his hand through his hair. “I know you'd rather be with him than me, especially when we sleep. Chuck, I mean, not Aaron.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Thought about it. “But no. Neither one of you are really my husband. Yes, there's a part of me that wants to take care of him, but honestly, this isn't my world.”

Martini looked surprised. “You've been struggling with this whenever he's nearby and whenever it's seemed like he was focused on another woman. What's changed your outlook?”

“Stryker Dane and what you said about Amadhia.”

“Come again?”

“Seeing Stryker just brought home to me how different it is here. I like it here, and I like all of you, but this isn't the world I'm from. If I'm forced to stay here, then we'll figure out what the heck to do. But right now, I'm working on the assumption that once we solve the problems with Australia, I'm going to be zapped home.”

“Okay, what did you mean about what I said about Amadhia?”

“Her great adventure. This is
my
great adventure. And, honestly, it's been scary and exciting and even romantic, and I think my being here will help all of you. But, even with Mom here, this world is missing something I'm not willing to live without.”

He smiled gently at me. “Your children.”

I nodded. “I'm sure my CA is doing a great job with them, but they aren't hers, they're
mine
, and they need
me
. And it's been wonderful to see what Jamie could be like, but my Jamie needs my help, not for me to skip off with the perfect version of her. I need to help her become the best she can be, however much or little that might be. And her brothers need to know that I've missed them and they can't know that until I go home and tell them so.”

He hugged me. “I promise, we'll get you home.”

“I'll hold you to that. Now, let's get unpacked and then figure out how to ensure that we compliment instead of insult our hosts.”

Martini grinned. “First time for everything.”

T
HE LESS SAID
about the several hours of stress that we went through to prep for meeting the PM couple and not blowing it this time the better. Getting to see video replays of what had happened was a special extra. The call from Strauss bawling us out on speakerphone for going without her was the most fun, and only a few people reprimanded me when I hung up on her mid-rant.

Our luncheon was confirmed, however, and Martini, Jamie, and I went back to our room to freshen up. I'd kept the sweater dress on, just in case, but happily I hadn't spilled anything on myself and the sheath dress didn't even look wrinkled. Jamie looked adorable in a pink and black ensemble, and Martini looked great like he always did.

Martini had me take the dress off so he could apply sunscreen to my arms and such. I was wearing a bra and panties that showed less than a swimsuit, and I sunburned in three point two minutes, so decided to let this lack of modesty be overruled by common sense. Chose not to wear makeup—I wasn't a makeup wearer on a regular basis, and the idea of getting lipstick on this outfit was terrifying.

Zipped back up into my dress and assembled like a picture-perfect VP family, albeit one covered in sunscreen, we went to the level where the main gates were. Apparently A-C Bases went down more than they went up. Refrained from asking if they had groundhog in their DNA and instead just chalked it up to another “aliens are weird” moment.

The plan was to take a gate to the Canberra airport and then take a limo from there. Martini wasn't happy about this, but he was overruled by everyone else.

Well, really, it wasn't a limo—it was limos, plural. Because there were a lot more than just the three of us. As per usual for the A-Cs, we were rolling with an entourage.

In addition to the three of us, Alpha Team was coming along as were Charles, Malcolm, Len, Kyle, and, thankfully, Richard and, of course, Singh. No one said it out loud, but it was clear that everyone was hoping that Richard and Singh would do most of the talking, Charles in particular. Pointedly didn't allow this to hurt my feelings. Much.

Amadhia and Aaron were also along for the ride, because my “let them sing a song or something” idea was taken as a great Plan B. Both of them were basically acting like kids at Disneyland for the first time, but hopefully their excitement and enthusiasm would wow the PM couple. Thankfully, they hadn't objected at all to being dressed like every other male or female A-C. Jamie and I were essentially the only spots of color in our entire group. Which meant Jamie and I were exceptionally good targets should someone want to shoot at us. Chose not to point this out, since I had to figure this had occurred to someone else aside from myself.

We also had a plethora of random guys in suits, which I was told were Field agents who were functioning as A-C Secret Service. And, of course, our massive actual Secret Service contingent. Basically, we looked like the best-dressed and best-looking invading army of penguins ever.

Because of how nicely everyone was decked out and the brevity of the gate trip from Sydney to Canberra, Martini was encouraged to carry only Jamie through the gate. Chose to show I was a big girl, in part because Aaron and Amadhia couldn't wait to try the gates and I wasn't going to let them show me up.

Field agents and some of the Secret Service went through first. I was sandwiched between Crawford and Martini, which was okay, because if I threw up, I figured Crawford might forgive me for it.

Crawford did the horrible slow fade thing and then it was my turn. “You can do it, baby,” Martini said softly from behind me.

Nodded, took a deep breath, and stepped through.

It had been bad enough being held. Walking through on my own meant I felt the entire transfer. I made the mistake of keeping my eyes open, meaning not only did I see nothingness in front of me, but I could see the world literally rushing by me in my peripheral vision. No wonder my CA never went through this alone or without her face buried in Martini's neck.

But in less than two seconds my lead foot hit terra firma and the horrible feeling of the world racing past me at faster than hyperspeed ended a moment later. I gagged, but didn't throw up, and Crawford was waiting for me, to help me stay up and move me out of the way.

“Hang in there, Kitty,” he said nicely. “Hopefully that's the worst today has to offer.”

“Gaack. Sorry. Yeah, a girl can dream, right?”

Making me green, well, greener with envy, Amadhia and Aaron both had no issues with the gate. They both thought it was the coolest thing ever and chattered about how they had to write a song about the experience. Apparently they were musical soul mates and literally loved each other's ideas all the time. Hoped the honeymoon phase would last a long time.

To their credit, when they saw how sick I looked, Amadhia hugged me and Aaron offered me a peppermint. Accepted both, both of which made me feel somewhat better.

We'd landed in the middle of a Qantas Airlines executive lounge that had been cleared for us, which was nice and, per my entire lifetime's experience, typically Australian. It was going to be unsettling, meeting Aussies who were angry with me and mine. I was used to my family being greeted like the Prodigal Reynolds Clan whenever we came back to Sydney and Canberra. To have people I loved not know me and not like me was going to be harder to handle than the gate transfer.

Entourage assembled, we headed for ground transportation. Apparently the A-Cs had their own worldwide fleet of limos, and, as we went to the area where dignitaries and celebrities got to go—in other words, where the average person and the paparazzi couldn't—saw at least a dozen gray limos waiting. The entourage heading for them without hesitation indicated these were our sweet rides.

Martini, Jamie, Charles, Richard, Singh, and I were ushered into the back of one limo together. Len booted the driver and Kyle took shotgun. We weren't the lead car, but one a few back. Was surprised that neither Malcolm nor the Secret Service were with us. Looked around—Malcolm and the Secret Service were getting into impressive-looking black SUVs. “We're going to look like a parade. Or a funeral.”

“Let's stick with parade,” Charles said.

“Do you live here? I mean part time.”

He nodded. “I do. I used to have a place in Sydney but once the A-Cs were outed, so was I, so I gave up my cover home in Sydney and now I have a nice flat in the Forrest suburb of Canberra.”

“Oh, we looked there. Decided to stay in Sydney and just fly into Canberra when we needed to. Our house is in Darling Point.”

Charles whistled. “Nice location.”

“You felt we deserved the best. Besides, it's not like you're suffering in Forrest.”

He grinned. “No argument.”

Singh sighed. “You two need to stop that and stop it now.”

Shot a guilty look up at Martini. “Sorry.”

He shrugged. “All they're doing is talking about real estate, Raj. However, Kitty, remember that we don't have a home here.”

“Right, we live at the Embassy. Why there and not the Naval Observatory?”

“Due to the anti-alien groups we have all over, we felt it was safer for the Vice President to remain in the Embassy,” Singh said. “And as you're still the Ambassador, it made sense that way as well.”

“Is that normal? To have the wife of the VP remain as an ambassador?”

“When the king of a solar system that has faster-than-light travel and many different kinds of impressive battle cruisers says he's watching to be sure his relatives aren't being abused, certain allowances are made,” Richard said with a twinkle.

“Especially when those battle cruisers saved the planet from other aliens who weren't so nice,” Charles added.

Decided I'd better change the subject before they all went into Information Overload Mode. Especially because I'd just remembered something. “Uh, did we actually bring the gift along?”

“Yes,” Singh said with a smile. He knocked on the glass partition and it lowered. “Kitty needs reassurance. And keep the glass down.” Kyle passed a nicely wrapped box back, which Singh handed to me. “It's wrapped very well, so even if you drop it, the contents shouldn't break.”

“Thanks for that vote of confidence.” Put the package into my purse. “So, we're heading to the Lodge?”

“Yes,” Singh confirmed.

“We're really obvious. Is no one even the teensiest bit worried about someone, ah, choosing to make a statement?”

Richard shook his head. “You and Jeffrey are still incredibly popular with the general populace.”

“Yeah, Kitty,” Len said. “Take a look out the window.”

Did so, and saw there were some people with signs along the side of the road. “Martini for PM!” “Aliens not Costello,” and “Aliens Speaking For Us All” seemed to be the main slogans.

Martini groaned. “This isn't going to help us with the actual Prime Minister, is it?”

“Probably not, but if we can find a way to turn it into a joke, Tony might get over it.”

“And that, baby, is why we're looking to you to save the day.”

“But no pressure.”

Richard chuckled. “Don't worry, Katherine—around here, you saving the day is just routine.”