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'Hasn't it been a
super
day?' he said. 'I do wish I'd brought Arnold with me.' He reached up to wind his arms around her neck, hugging her hard. 'I'm glad you came to Yorkshire to stay with us,' he told her, his eyelids already drooping. 'And I can't
wait
till tomorrow—can you?'

Katy closed the door of his room softly and stood for a moment on the landing. All day Sean had been at his most formal with her; the relationship between them friendly, but cool and professional— just as he had promised. But the look in his eyes as he had waited for Claire to answer the telephone had quickened her heartbeat. Now she was remembering the things said about him by the other nurses at St Anne's, the stories that had circulated, growing, she suspected, in exaggeration as they passed from mouth to mouth. Now that Toby was in bed and they were virtually alone together would he try to take advantage of the situation—or did he really see her as a 'frightened little girl'? Someone he found amusing but not in the least challenging? She hardly knew which prospect she feared more.

Downstairs in the cosy, shabby den Sean had stoked the fire with apple logs. It hissed and popped cosily, spurting out darts of flame to light the room which was illuminated by one small reading lamp only. Katy stood in the doorway, trying to imagine Sean working away at the desk in the window, cluttered with papers and medical textbooks. He stood at a carved oak cupboard in the corner of the room, pouring brandy, and as she closed the door he turned to smile at her, holding out the decanter. She shook her head but he poured her a generous measure all the same.

'To keep out the cold,' he said, handing her the balloon glass. 'It's been a strange day for you. Your first taste of the real Yorkshire—beautiful and unpredictable. Calm and serene one minute, vicious and ruthless the next.

Katy nodded. 'I can see now where the Bronte sisters got all their inspiration from.'

He stretched his length in an armchair by the fire, smiling lazily up at her. 'Come and sit down—no, not there—' as she took a seat on the opposite side of the hearth. 'Closer—where I can see the firelight on that hair of yours.'

She shook her head. 'I—I'm perfectly all right here, thank you.'

He shrugged. 'Just as you please, but we've a good few hours to pass together, we might as well relax with each other, don't you think?'

He was looking at her in a way she found almost unbearable, his eyes twinkling as though he knew quite well how uncomfortable she was. She sipped her brandy and felt the fiery warmth of it spread through her veins, easing the tension. 'I can be friendly quite easily from here,' she said. 'I don't see why—'

'Katy—are you afraid of me?' he interrupted. 'I mean afraid of being alone with me like this? Am I so very formidable? Have you been listening to tales about me—is that it?'

She shook her head, her cheeks flaming, giving the lie to the gesture.

He laughed gently. 'Poor Katy, what can they have been saying?' Suddenly his voice hardened. 'Oh don't be so ridiculous, girl! Come and sit here.'

She was shocked into obedience by the sudden command and before she knew what she was doing she had risen to her feet. His hand shot out to grasp hers, pulling her down on to a large floor cushion at his feet.

'That's better.' He leaned back in his chair, letting one hand remain on her shoulder. 'You know Katy, people are like diamonds,' he said thoughtfully. 'Each one of us has many facets and we're never quite the same with two people alike— some people bring out the best in us, some the worst. Each new person we meet brings out another dimension. Today I've seen the Katy that Toby brings out in you. I liked her, but I'm still waiting to meet my Katy. So far you seem to switch yourself off when I'm around. I'd like very much to know why that is.'

She took another sip of her brandy, wondering how to answer his question. 'As far as I know I'm exactly the same with everyone,' she said at last.

'Come now, you can't mean that,' he said. 'I'm not talking about the way you're supposed to behave professionally, as a nurse, but how you respond emotionally. While you were out of the room Toby was telling me how much he likes you. He was telling me about—what's his name—Arthur?'

She blushed. 'Arnold—only the old teddy bear you saw Isobel throw at me. I gave him to Toby because he liked him—that's all.'

'There, you see what I mean? You've clammed up on me,' he said triumphantly. 'You described him to Toby as your oldest friend and confidante.'

She shook her head impatiently. 'One speaks differently to a child, of course. That doesn't mean anything!'

'Ah but you see I think it does,' he insisted. 'Perhaps we're more truthful with children. For instance, didn't you tell Toby that if one wants something very badly and tries very hard one usually gets that thing in the end?'

She twisted her head to look up at him. 'He told you that I said that?'

'Yes, he did. It impressed him very much. The point is, Katy, if you believe that, why are you running away from nursing?'

She shrugged. 'That's simple—because I'm no longer sure it's what I do want.' As she turned her head away she felt his fingers lace into her hair, turning her face towards him again.

'I don't think I believe that,' he told her. 'But if it is true, then what
do
you want from life?'

His eyes were burning into hers and she tried to free herself but his fingers held her hair firmly, making it painful to move. 'I wanted to go home, to care for my father,' she said stiffly. 'You already know that—you also know that the situation has changed. Now I have to re-think.'

For a long moment he looked at her till she said quietly, 'Will you let go of my hair, please—you're hurting me.'

He released his hold on her hair without an apology, but moved his hand down to the curve of her neck, his fingers lying along her jawline.

'You're not really so appalled at the idea of your father marrying again, are you?' he asked quietly.

She shook her head. 'I suppose not. It's just the difference in age.'

'Is it because you feel that Isobel will replace you in your father's affections? Are you so dependent on him still? Has there never been anyone you wanted for yourself?' She turned to stare at him, frowning slightly. 'Damn it, Katy—I'm asking you if you've ever been in love—can't you understand that?'

She scrambled to her feet and stared down angrily at him. 'The things you're asking are none of your business,' she exploded. 'I did what you asked in accepting this job—what more do you want of me?'

He stood up hastily to face her. 'I want us to be friends, Katy. I'm sorry if what I said upset you.' He took her shoulders and pulled her gently towards him. 'Please—'

She bit her lip, suddenly dangerously close to tears. 'You seem to enjoy finding my weakest, most vulnerable spots and probing them,' she said bitterly. 'If you really want to know, I suppose I resent Isobel for taking my mother's place—now that I've said it, it sounds stupid and childish. As for being in love—I believe that real love has to grow, slowly, like a tree. All that romantic stuff in books—I just don't believe in it.'

Very gently he slid his arms around her, drawing her close as his mouth found hers. With one hand he pulled the pins from her hair and the glowing auburn mass tumbled about her shoulders. When he lifted his head to look down at her she was slightly breathless, her eyes wide and her mouth trembling. The hand that had loosened her hair cupped her chin, tilting her face upwards as he looked into her eyes.

'I don't think you have the least idea how very desirable you are, Katy,' he said. 'Underneath all that fierce independence you're so vulnerable—so sweetly fragile. You make me want to—'

His lips found hers again and Katy gave up all ideas of fighting him, surrendering herself to the rush of feeling that overwhelmed her. With a kind of wonder she realised that in spite of what she had just said it
was
true—all the excitement, the shattering sensation she had read of in books was happening to her right now, at this moment. The brief relationships she had had in the past paled into insignificance as she gave herself up to Sean's insistent mouth, her own melting beneath it, flowering to allow the intimate caress of his gently exploring tongue.

'You see,' he whispered against her cheek. 'You're wrong, so wrong, Katy darling. You know it now, don't you?' He smiled down at her. 'You're like a little glow-worm, all golden and sparkling.' He pulled her down with him on to the huge cushion before the smouldering fire, leaning back against the armchair and cradling her against his chest. 'So this is the Katy that shines for me,' he said teasingly, kissing her again. 'Mmm—I approve.' His lips lingered against hers, then moved to her ear and the hollow beneath it. She shivered slightly as his lips moved to the base of her throat and as her head fell back she felt his fingers in her hair again, cradling her head whilst with his other hand he began to undo the buttons of her shirt. His fingers were warm and firm against her flesh, seductive and caressing as they moved the thin material aside to bare one shoulder. His lips moved against the coolness of her skin, sending shivers of ecstasy through her as she leaned her cheek against the roughness of his hair.

'You're perfect, Katy,' he whispered. 'The perfect mixture of fire and ice. You excite me more than any other woman I know. Darling, I want you so much.'

His lips took hers again, this time with a passion and urgency that both thrilled and terrified her. Her senses swam and she felt her control slipping away. As she returned his kiss every instinct she possessed urged her to surrender—to allow herself to be swept along on the surging current of passion Sean aroused in her, but right at the back of her mind a small insistent voice warned her to remember the stories that had circulated at St Anne's.
'If he meant anything he said he would have married and settled down long ago.'
She could hear Sonia saying it now.
'He's just a playboy who enjoys playing the field. Anyone who gets into his clutches had better be playing the same game or prepare to be hurt!'
Katy didn't want to be hurt. Already she could feel herself falling helplessly in love. She mustn't—
wouldn't
allow him to take her heart and tear it to shreds just to pass an otherwise boring evening!

Panicking, she pushed him from her and sat up, straightening her disarranged shirt and hair with trembling fingers. Sean stared at her, his eyes concerned.

'Katy—darling, what is it—what's the matter? He reached out to touch her face.

For a moment he looked so sincere that she almost relented and hurled herself back into his arms, but her strong will prevailed. She scrambled to her feet so as to get as far away from his disturbing closeness as she could.

'I—it's getting late,' she said inadequately.

He got quickly to his feet and put his arms around her. 'You
are
afraid, aren't you? Darling, don't you trust me? Don't say you don't feel as I do Katy, because I can feel it when I hold you like this—the way your heart beats, the softness of your lips.' He looked down at her but she refused to meet his eyes.

'I—can't explain. Please, Sean—don't ask me to.'

But he wouldn't let her go. 'Are you afraid of committing yourself? You needn't be. You could still be perfectly free. I don't believe in two people being tied to each other—trapped. That's not what love is about at all in my book.'

She tore herself away from him. 'But it is in mine! I can't help it—don't you see?' Her eyes blazed at him. 'It's all right for people like you who can turn their feelings on and off at will! I'm not like that— and I never want to be, so there's an end to it!'

There was a long silence as they stared at each other. Katy's heart sank as she saw his eyes cloud and harden. She had said what she meant— what she felt she had to say—but somehow it had sounded all wrong—prudish and self-righteous. She opened her mouth to try to put it right and then closed it again hopelessly, biting her lip in anguish.

Sean lifted his shoulders resignedly. 'I misjudged you, Katy. I'm sorry.' He glanced at his watch. 'You're right—it is late. Better get some sleep.' And without another word he walked past her and out of the room.

She felt as though someone had thrown iced-water over her. Her heart froze. It was as if she had opened a door to glimpse something beautiful and then slammed it and turned the key. Was she a complete fool—a naive, simplistic fool?

Far into the stormy night, as the wind and rain lashed against her bedroom window, Katy lay wrestling with the same question. Nowadays people took what they wanted from life when the opportunity presented itself, often they tossed it aside when they had done with it. Maybe that was the right way—better to take what one could than miss out altogether. But could a happiness that was so short-lived leave one with anything but a broken heart? She wished she knew the answer.

Dawn was already breaking when at last she admitted to herself that already it was too late—she was too much in love with Sean not to be hurt now, anyway.

Katy
arrived downstairs in the kitchen next morning to find Toby talking animatedly to a stout, grey-haired woman in a print overall. As she came in he turned to her.

'Oh, there you are, Katy! I tried to wake you but you were fast asleep. This is Kenzie. She's making us some breakfast.'

'Good morning,' Katy smiled at the woman. 'You must be pondering what we're doing here.'

The Scotswoman shook her head, smiling. 'Not at all. Mr Sean has been up and about these two hours. He told me how you were caught in the storm yesterday.' She clicked her tongue. 'A real brute, wasn't it? Yet this morning you'd never have guessed it could have raged like that. Apart from a few patches of snow on the tops there's no sign of it.' She shovelled golden-yolked eggs on to plates warming at the side of the range. 'This morning those moors have the innocence of a babe, yet my man had his work cut out with the ewes and lambs last night.'

'Thank you for breakfast,' Katy said gratefully. 'And I hope Toby hasn't been getting in your way.'