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Lucy looked down at the table. “I knew. Matt told me. He’s going to go tomorrow, too. I want to sit with him.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Dot said. Suddenly she looked back at me. “Goodness, where are my manners? Gracie Lee, this is Candace’s roommate Lucy, and across the table from me is their friend Tina. Lucy and Tina, this is my friend Gracie Lee. She goes to my church, and lives in the apartment where Candace used to live a few years ago.”

“Hi, Gracie Lee,” Lucy said. Tina looked up at me and then looked at Lucy while she scowled slightly. On her thin, slightly pinched face it wasn’t an attractive expression. Tina looked a little older than the other two, with short, straw-blond hair and faded blue eyes. I noticed that the dominoes in front of them all were the kids version that had pictures instead of dots to count. It was probably easier for some of them to manage.

Tina was still scowling. “Are you going to play dominoes or not, Lucy? It’s your turn.”

Lucy waved one hand. “In a minute, Tina. If you want to play right now, ask Kirsten to play for me. I need to talk to Candace’s mom.”

Lucy’s smooth forehead wrinkled in thought. “About what Candace said before. Do I have to be sad that Frank is dead to go to his funeral? ’Cause I’m not very sad, just a little bit.”

The corners of Dot’s mouth twitched as if she was trying to stifle a smile. “You can be as sad as you want to be, Lucy, whether that’s a little or a lot. If you want to go to the funeral, I’ll take you. Can you be ready about nine-thirty?”

Lucy nodded. “Tell Kirsten I’m going so she can remind me to get up on time. I don’t get up very early on my day off. I like to sleep in.”

“I’ll do that. And now we should let you three go back to your domino game,” Dot said. She got up from the table and went behind Candace, putting her arms around her daughter for a hug while she sat. “Goodbye, sweet girl. If you change your mind you can come with Lucy tomorrow.”

Candace shook her head, concentrating on the dominoes in front of her. “I told you, Mom. I have to work tomorrow. And I don’t want to go. Good night.” She looked up quickly at her mother and smiled a little. “Sleep tight.”

“Don’t let the bedbugs bite. See you in the morning light,” Dot answered back. “But only if I get here before you go to work. I’ll go talk to Kirsten. I’m letting them go back to the game now, Tina.”

“Good. I have to get ready for bed soon,” Tina said. “It’s
still
your turn, Lucy.” In a moment the women at the table were again concentrating on their game. We went across the room to where Kirsten sat, looking like she was grading a stack of papers.

“Do you teach?” I asked her, motioning to the papers.

“I sub some. I’m getting my teaching credential so I can go full-time. Plus some of the clients here benefit from a brush-up once in a while, so I bring worksheets home at night for them, too.”

Dot filled her in on the plans for the morning and afterward Kirsten showed us to the door.

When we got into the car, Dot didn’t start up the engine right away. I turned to ask her what was happening and it surprised me to see that she was crying. “Okay, what’s up?” I asked, patting her hand. It was unlike her to cry and I needed to know which part of what happened in the house had upset my friend so much.

D
ot got more composed after she sat for a minute. She took the tissue that I had pulled from the box sitting between our seats. “What part of all that got me upset? There were several things, to tell the truth. Candace didn’t react the way I expected her to at all. And Lucy wanting to go with me…I didn’t expect that, either.”

She used the tissue again and sighed. “Even some of the sweet things about tonight upset me. The way Candace slipped right into our little bedtime rhyme. I miss having her close to me, but I know she’s so much better off where she is. I still worry, though. Doesn’t every mother?”

“I know I do. Almost every parent I know worries about their kids. Edna was worrying about Dennis when he was over forty and she was in her seventies. I don’t think it stops.”

“Until we’re dead,” Dot said wryly. “Then at least we can give the worries over to Jesus the way I have so much trouble doing in this life. Struggling with that always makes me think that I could be so much better as a Christian.”

“I have a feeling that everybody has problems like that. Now, should I drive home or are you up to it?”

Dot used her tissue one last time and put it down. “I’m up to it. That little bout of tears caught me by surprise, I guess. But it’s over now and we can get on with other things. I better get us home if we’re going to get up and ready for that funeral tomorrow.”

“Do you want me to go with you and Lucy? If you like, I can do it.”

“But it would mean that you’d have to cut class, and maybe miss a little work, right?” Dot started the car and checked the street before she pulled out of our parking space in front of the house.

“It would. But for you, Dot, I’d do it.”

“This time you don’t have to, Gracie Lee. It’s very nice of you to offer, but I think Lucy and I will be just fine together.”

“She’s a very pretty girl. Has she lived at the group home very long?”

“Less than a year. I think she’s their newest resident. There are three women you didn’t see tonight, Tina’s roommate and two others. They must have been off doing something together with one of the aides. Lucy has a sad story, but then I suppose everybody there does in their own way.”

Dot merged onto the freeway now and I held off asking her any more questions until she got a little farther along. “Did Lucy’s situation change at home to bring her there with the others, or was she already living somewhere else?”

“She lived with her sister, who’s a lot older than Lucy is. The sister got a promotion at work at the hospital in Thousand Oaks, and she was afraid that Lucy wouldn’t get enough attention. Plus, she may have just needed a break. She’s raised Lucy since she was eight.”

“Wow. That is quite a burden. How did she manage?”

“Very well for somebody who was only in her first year of college at the time. Lucy and her parents were involved in a bad auto accident. Her parents were killed outright, and Lucy suffered a head injury that left her with brain damage.”

I shook my head, and then realized that Dot probably couldn’t see what I was doing while she concentrated on driving in the dark. “That
is
sad. Did the sister at least have some kind of faith to pull her through?”

“They were churchgoers. Estella hasn’t shared a lot with me, and I don’t feel I know her well enough to push the subject too far. I think she’d be another good candidate for Christian Friends if she could find a group that met while she wasn’t working. She’s a critical-care nurse at the hospital and puts in some very long hours, often on twelve-hour shifts.”

“I can just imagine.” We were nearing home now and I found myself looking forward to a little bit of studying and a warm bed. For a change I had a relatively normal day to look forward to tomorrow and that sounded very good.

When we pulled into the driveway Dot and I talked for a little while longer, then went our separate ways. Once I settled into the apartment I wished I’d gotten Sophie again to keep me company. But by then I’d already put on ratty old sweats and slippers and made a cup of tea, so instead of going out and getting a dog I just hunkered down with my books. I knew I wouldn’t sleep as well alone tonight, but I was too tired to exert myself to get company.

Wednesday almost flew by at school. I had two classes to attend and a four-hour shift at the Coffee Corner. Halfway into my shift I looked up and Linnette stood in line two customers from the front. By the time I could wait on her there wasn’t much of anybody behind her and we were able chat for a moment.

“What does your evening look like?” she asked, taking her latte.

“I’ve got to put in some time studying for finals, but I’m fairly flexible. What do you have in mind?”

“I’d like to do a partial Christian Friends get-together. Lexy and Heather can’t make it, and I couldn’t even reach Paula but I know Dot went to that funeral today and I think she wants to talk about it. I thought maybe the three of us could go out someplace casual and have dinner or dessert together and hang out.”

It sounded very good to me and I told her so. “Let me know when and where and I’ll be there.”

“I’ll call Dot while I’m still on break and set things up.” Linnette took her coffee and headed back toward the bookstore. I knew she’d been busy lately with the end of the semester book buy-back program. Not everybody waited until finals were over to sell their unwanted textbooks. Personally I wanted to squeeze every drop of knowledge I could out of the expensive things before I gave any of them up. Even buying books used meant a pretty hefty expense. The first two times I had to buy graduate school books I nearly lost it. And if I had been stunned, it was nothing to the way Ben reacted his first trip through the bookstore.

He’d called me afterward, nearly foaming at the mouth. “Mom! My books cost, like, three hundred dollars and I didn’t get all of them that I needed,” he’d said with a note of panic. Maybe he expected sympathy, but I’d told him to get used to it, that almost every semester would be like that. I could tell he didn’t want to believe me. Within days some sophomores and juniors in his dorm said the same thing. Them, he believed. Of course, everything always carries more weight from a total stranger than one’s mother.

Then, as if thinking about him drew him to the coffee shop, there was Ben in front of me. “Hey. Think you can make me a hot chocolate on my study break? Maybe it better be mint mocha instead. More caffeine.” He grinned at me and I wanted to reach over the counter and hug him, but refrained.

“Sure. With whipped cream or without?” He looked less stressed than I’d seen him any time in the last two weeks, which made me feel relieved.

“With, of course. And chocolate sprinkles if you’ve got them.”

“I’ve got something close,” I told him, starting to work on his mocha. In a minute or so it was done and sitting in front of him crowned with plenty of whipped cream and shaved chocolate. For a change I let him give me his student meal card and I ran it through the machine that debited his account for the mocha. Maria almost always insisted on making his drinks for free, but I didn’t think that was fair every time and Ben agreed with me.

“Sorry I can’t take my break while you’re here, but you can see that I’m alone.” Maria had left forty-five minutes before, making a supply and bank run. Naturally, I’d been busy ever since. This was the first time that students and faculty weren’t lined up to get coffee and treats.

“That’s okay, Mom. I really
am
just on a study break before my last classes of the semester. I wanted to stop in and say hi, though. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me, too.” I considered seeing Ben almost every day one of the perks of the job. He might think otherwise sometimes, but it was nice to see that he still needed me occasionally. “So, when is your first final?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Friday, ten o’clock. I think it’s going to be the toughest one, too. Good ol’ Philosophy of Religion. My favorite.”

“Any others that day?”

He shook his head. “Nope. One on Monday, and two on Tuesday, so at least that’s pretty good. How about you?”

“Friday daytime, Monday night and Tuesday night,” I told him. “Spread out nicely and Friday is really just turning in a final project.” Of course I’d been working on that final project more hours than he’d be likely to study for most of his tests put together, but I didn’t want to tell him that. No sense scaring a freshman who hadn’t even had a set of college finals yet.

“Cool. Okay if I come over this weekend? I’m pretty sure the apartment will be a lot quieter than the dorm to study in.”

“Be my guest. We can study together. Now go drink that before it cools off.”

“Yeah, definitely. Thanks, Mom.” He reached halfway over the counter and gave me a brief hug.

Given his height he could reach that way much easier than I could. It felt good watching him stroll off looking happy again. I prayed silently asking God to keep him safe, and to help bring to light what really happened to Frank Collins, for the sake of his family and my own. Somewhere there was a family for whom the truth wouldn’t bring peace, but for many of us knowing the truth would be the only peace we’d get out of a bad situation.

While I mused over that and made a couple of lattes for two professors who barely looked up from their discussion with each other to take them, Linnette sidled up behind them. The profs finally retreated to a table to continue their conversation and Linnette came up to the counter. “Six-thirty at Sally’s Deli. Is that okay with you?”

“Sounds great. I’ll meet you there,” I told her. Sally’s was a big place where the menu went on for pages, so everyone could get what they wanted. It also had lots of booths and tables off in little nooks, meaning we could talk without constant interruption or worries of anyone overhearing what we said.

The rest of my shift was just busy enough to make the time go by, but I wasn’t ever overworked. Maria came back soon after Linnette’s last visit and at six Rico, one of the student workers, came to take my place at the counter. We exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes and then he got busy and I left.

Sally’s Deli wasn’t all that far from campus and traffic around Rancho Conejo was surprisingly light for rush hour on a weekday. I made it to the restaurant in plenty of time. When I went in, Linnette waved from a secluded corner table, where I joined her. She handed me a menu that looked like a small-town phone book and we discussed what we might get for ten minutes until Dot joined us. I’d gotten into the salad section when Linnette looked up over her reading glasses.

“I just realized that you weren’t there for the start of the meeting last week.”

“That’s right. Did I miss something?”

“One thing that I keep forgetting to tell you. We have a different meeting schedule in December. We’ll meet the next two Sunday nights instead of Wednesdays. It frees everybody up for Christmas and travel that way.”

“Works for me,” I told her, just in time to see Dot heading for the table.

“Hi, ladies. It’s great to see a couple of friendly faces.” She sat down at the table, probably still wearing the outfit she’d worn to Frank’s funeral. The tailored pants outfit was a deep green that suited her well. Still, Dot looked tired, with faint dark smudges under her eyes.

“Was the funeral that bad, or has there been more today?” Linnette asked.

“It was mostly the funeral. I took Lucy, Candace’s roommate with me, which felt odd without Candace along. Oh, and I saw that young reporter again. He mostly sat in the back and seemed to take notes. I didn’t see him talk to anybody.”

For that I felt thankful. Sam wasn’t the pushy type, but nobody should have reporters intrude on an event like a funeral. Dot went on with her story. “After the services I took Lucy back to her place while those that wanted to went to the cemetery. Eventually I met up with them at Frank’s mother’s house.” Dot wrinkled her nose and looked longingly at my water glass.

I pushed it over to her. “Go ahead. I haven’t touched that one yet and the server will bring another one as soon as we get his attention.”

“Normally I’d argue, but I’m tired and thirsty so I’ll take you up on your offer.” I didn’t want to press her for details of her day, knowing that Linnette is even better than I am at leading questions. Besides, Dot didn’t usually need to have many questions directed to her. Once she rested a little and ordered dinner, she’d tell us anything we needed to know.

We got Dot her own cold drink and replaced my water when the server came back, and then Linnette and I proceeded to order while Dot looked at the menu another minute. By the time we had finished ordering she was ready as well. “Just soup and a dinner salad,” she told the server. “I’m saving room for dessert. Something large and chocolate.”

After he had left the table I looked at Dot. “Okay, now I know it must have been a rough day, if you’re already anticipating chocolate therapy.”

She grinned. “You bet. After dealing with Ruth Collins and her sisters, there probably isn’t enough chocolate in this restaurant to really make me feel better, but dessert is a start.”

“What did they do that was so awful?” Linnette was the one to ask this time so I didn’t have to.

Dot sighed. “It wasn’t what they did as much as what they
didn’t
do. I know every mother thinks her child is perfect, but Ruth is downright awful to Tracy. And the only one of the grandkids she seems to pay any attention to is Frankie.”

“Ouch.” Linnette reached for the breadbasket that our server had put on the table. “That has to be hard on Tracy on two counts. She has to deal with upset kids and her mother-in-law at the same time.”

“And she’s not managing any of it well. She mostly sat at Ruth’s dining-room table and cried while I was there. I sat next to her and talked some since nobody else was paying her much attention. Frank’s books are as big a mess as you’d expect them to be, and she’s already started getting calls from people who want money.”

Linnette looked up from the warm roll she was buttering. “She could sure use some support. I know they were nominally members at our church. Do you think she’d be open to our Christian Friends group?”