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'No, I've thought you
couldn't,'
she answered him. 'I've thought that you were telling me you couldn't, ever again, take the risk of something like that, because of Bronwyn.'

'No, Lucy...'

'I thought you wanted to tell the girls that they were sisters but keep the rest of our lives separate, and I hated that thought. It seemed...so hard on them, and
impossible
for me.'

'No, oh,
no...'
He shook his head, then brushed his nose across hers, teasing her by the close contact as he denied her the touch of his lips. 'Nothing like that.'

'No?'

'Please, will you let me tell you about it properly?'

'Oh, please, yes!'

'You see, I understand a lot more about my marriage to Bronwyn than I did six years ago.'

'You've talked to me about it.'

'I had to... But obviously I haven't said enough. It was something that seemed right for us then...perhaps
was
right for us...but it wouldn't have been right now. I don't doubt that we'd have gone on working at it had she lived. Neither of us are...or were...people to give up on something we'd made a commitment to. But with you, I knew I didn't want it to be that way. I didn't want it to be something that we had to grit our teeth and work and work at.'

'All marriages need to be worked at, don't they?'

'But some are more fun to work at than others.' A little smile began to dawn on his face. 'And I wanted to know that what I felt for you, the love I felt—the love I
feel,
huge and real and strong and wonderful— was the right kind of love, the kind that would enrich us for our whole lives, not the kind that would give us a few good years and then fade or twist somehow. And, of course, I
did
know, in my heart, quite soon, but I owed it to four people—you and Charlotte and Ellie and myself—to be utterly and completely certain. That's a pretty heavy responsibility, Lucy, and if Ellie hadn't gone missing today—'

'You mean you were going to make me wait even longer?' she demanded, daring to tease him a little now. She'd wanted this for so long. She'd always known it would be complicated, if it ever came. She hadn't known quite how wonderful it would feel.

'Not much longer,' he admitted. 'My resolve was weakening daily. And, Lucy, you haven't answered me.
Will
you?'

'Oh. Malcolm, I should probably keep you in suspense a little, shouldn't I?' she said helplessly. 'But you know what I'm going to say. I'll marry you. I love you. And it's the only possible way that we can make everything right.'

'We're going to have two very excited little girls,' he said. 'In fact, it's not clear to me how we're going to get them to sleep under different roofs until the wedding.'

'And it's not clear to
me,'
she whispered boldly, pillowing her head on his chest, 'how we're going to get ourselves to sleep under different roofs until the wedding.'

He laughed, an open, happy sound that she loved and that she hoped to hear countless times during their life together. 'In that case, there's really only one question
I have left to ask you, Lucy, my darling. Your place, or mine?'

It was a question that needed more serious consideration in the weeks that followed. There really wasn't any sense in keeping two houses, but Malcolm wouldn't let Lucy sell hers yet.

'Keep it?' he suggested, as they discussed practical plans the day before their wintry July wedding. 'Rent it out?'

'For how long?'

'Oh, about twelve years or so, until Charlotte and Ellie want to declare their independence by moving into it when they finish school.'

'Thinking ahead?'

'I love thinking ahead, when it means thinking about having you in my life,' he murmured.

'What else are you thinking, then?'

They were at his place, and the two girls were in bed. Charlotte and Ellie were both still agonising over the issue of whether to share or to have separate rooms. The house was big enough for either to be an option. Tonight they'd elected to share, and Charlotte was on a mattress on the floor, right next to Ellie.

'Well,' Malcolm said, 'I'm wondering about your wedding dress, and your wedding underwear.'

'Malcolm!'

'Hoping it's not too hard to slip off. Rather looking forward to the process.'

'And?' She could tell there was more.

'Thinking about what we said the other day about more children.'

'We weren't sure, I seem to recall.'

'
I
wasn't, you mean. You were completely sure, only you wouldn't say so.'

'I—'

'Lucy, it's lucky I've learned to read you, because otherwise it might be disastrous that you keep your needs to yourself, the way you do, just in case I don't share them.'

'Oh, Malcolm...'

'You're going to have to stop doing that, you know! And you can start practising now, about the question of children. Be honest.'

'You're right,' she admitted.

'How many?'

'I don't know. Probably two. A boy would be nice. But if you don't want—'

'I
do
want! As soon as I thought about it properly, I knew that I did. Another child together, as imaginative as Ellie and as spirited as Charlotte. And this time a child who doesn't have the darkness that hung over Ellie's birth, and one that you don't have to raise alone. A boy would be fabulous. And doted on utterly by his sisters, I expect.'

'Definitely! Oh, Malcolm, those girls are going to look so lovely in their bridesmaids' dresses,' Lucy answered. 'We're probably crazy to get married in the coldest month of the year, but I couldn't wait, and... OK, if you want me to be honest.' She took a deep breath, ready to get some practice in the honesty that every good marriage required. 'I don't think I can wait about anything, any more, when it comes to you. Can we start working on that new baby very soon?'

'Tonight, perhaps?' he suggested eagerly. 'I mean, we ought to put quite a bit of effort into it, I think. What if we're not very good at making boys?'

She laughed, and kissed him.

'Tonight would be lovely,' she said.