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A frown formed on my lips despite my efforts. “You said you’re leaving in a few days?”

“Saturday morning. When do you have to be back at work?”

I snorted. “Two days ago. I’m sure the second I log into my laptop, I’m going to be bombarded with emails. I’ve never taken this much time off. And vacation or not, my boss expects me to check my emails. I haven’t in the last couple of days.”

“Are you ready to go back?”

“Not really,” I said with a small laugh.

I wasn’t ready to go back to any part of my real life: my job, my lonely apartment, my lackluster nights. I wanted to stay in my fantasy forever. But it looked like my fantasy was ending on Saturday.

I’d spent our first few days together trying to get away, to get back home to my nothingness. But no more. Until our final hour, I wanted to enjoy myself.

Changing my routine had proven to be a great relief for me. I liked Vacation Shae. Instead of
being a
‘prudish, uptight weirdo-’
which I had to confess he was correct about-
I was a carefree, stress-free, adventurous soul who didn't let life get the best of me. I wanted that version of myself to stay, but I knew once I was away from Derek, I’d go back to my old habits.

I couldn't open myself up on my own accord. I wasn’t that fun person without him. Soon, I’d be back to stiff buns, my turtlenecks, and ten o’clock evening news.

I yawned, and he laughed. “Tired already?”

“Well, it has been a long day.”

“I could go to sleep myself. Are you going to let me join you this evening?”

“Are we going to have this conversation every night?”

“After everything we’ve done, you decide to draw the line at sleeping together?
That’s
your hard limit?”

“Yes.”

Why did he care so much? We were going to be out of each other’s lives in a few days. When we were together, he always had the upper hand. He could make me do things I would never dream about doing, without even forcing me to. He made me
want
to step out of my comfort zone.

And I liked it, but the control this man was starting to have over me was becoming a little unnerving.

Truthfully, I wouldn't have minded him in bed with me. But despite my new pledge to enjoy the rest of our time together, I still had to remember the limits to our relationship- I couldn’t allow myself to get any more attached to him than I already was. I couldn’t allow us to curl up together at night, as if we were normal. Like the routine was okay.

In fact, it was probably time for us to get our closure. To start detaching myself from him. He had a new woman every time he traveled; he could probably cut ties without much effort. I wasn’t ready to do that yet, but in the meantime, I could at least not make my attachment worse.

“It’s not like we haven’t done it. It happened, and you slept just fine.”

“It wasn’t by choice,” I said with a scowl.

He sighed. “Well, you leaving me for bed, then?”

I wanted to go to sleep; it was approaching my bedtime. But my need to spend more time with him, to extend our perfect day, was stronger.

I sat up, thanking him for the massage with a kiss. “How about a movie instead?”

He grabbed a snack while I chose a movie. We ended up in the same cuddle position from the day before. If I was trying to distance myself from him, I wasn’t doing a great job of it so far. Halfway through, I shivered.

“Cold?” he said.

He tossed a blanket over us. Much like the day before, when the movie ended, I didn’t want to move.

“It’s so cold in here, I don’t want to get up!”

“Me either. I’ll adjust the heat when we get up, but I don’t want to get from under the blanket with only my boxers on.”

We shared a laugh, but still didn’t move. After a few minutes, I thought he was asleep.

“Derek?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you choose me?”

He tilted his head up, propping his chin on my back. “What do you mean?”

“You travel the world, and meet a lot of interesting people. I’m sure women flock to you no matter where you go- including here. Why did you choose to spend your time with me?”

There was a pause before his response, a silence long enough to make me nervous about his answer.

“At first, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Every second I was away from you, I worried I’d come to check on you, and you’d be floating in the lake. I never would've forgiven myself if something like that happened on my watch.”

My chest tightened. His capacity for concern, caring so much about a complete stranger, was amazing. He didn’t know all the details about my reasoning for trying to kill myself. But he didn’t judge, and he took my problems and made them his own. It was amazing how a stranger showed more concern for me than the man I was supposed to marry.

“I’m so sorry I put that weight on you. I’m sure you came here to relax.”

He shook his head, nuzzling in my back, warming my chilled skin.

“Don’t think like that. We all need help sometimes. Lord knows without a lot of help from a lot of people- including some strangers- I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

I wondered who those people were- and what they helped him with. I knew he’d had his heart broken before, and I knew he was running from some pain. But I felt like his cloud of darkness ran deeper than that. There was so much more to him I’d never know about.

“So, who helped you?” I asked on a whim. I got the expected answer.

“A lot of caring people.”

I rolled my eyes at his generic answer. “You’re so infuriating sometimes.”

“And you’re a pain in my ass with your stubbornness. But I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time with you,” he said, his manhood stirring between us.

I smiled. I’d enjoyed my time with him, too. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced, or anything I was likely to experience again.

“Now that it’s over, did you enjoy your day?”

“Yes, I really did.”

“Good; I wanted to keep you busy today.”

“Why?”

“To keep your mind off the wedding.”

I turned around to face him, pausing. My eyebrows shot up as I went over the details of my day in my head. “I didn’t think about the wedding at all today. I was too angry at you this morning, too confused by your activity choices this afternoon, and too… busy to think about it this evening,” I said, my skin flushing as an image of my swinging body in the bathroom mirror popped in my mind.

“Honestly, that’s the first time since the breakup I haven’t thought about it. And today of all days! Thank you.”

His smile made my heart flutter. “You’re welcome.”

“And thank you again… for saving me that night.”

If I’d actually fallen in that lake, I wouldn’t have had that moment with Derek. I wouldn’t have had
any
moment with him. Maybe it was an indication of my life thus far, but my few days with him were the best I’d ever had.

Although our time was running out, I was beyond grateful I met him and wouldn’t take back our time for the world- no matter how hard my guilt tried to pain me.

He closed his eyes with a smile on his face, and I closed mine to enjoy his warmth for a few more moments before I had to retire to the bed, the smell of kitfo and injera still lingering on my fingertips.

When my eyes opened again, it was light. We’d fallen asleep on the couch. Derek was awake and staring at me, but not moving.

“Good morning,” He said.

“Morning.”

Although I’d spent the night cramped on a couch with another person instead of in the comfy bed, it was the best sleep I’d had in ages.

I forced myself up from the comfortable position and into the cold air, heading to the guest room. On the way, I passed the thermostat, pausing.

I spun on my heels to Derek, who wrapped himself tightly in the blanket.

“The heat is off.”

He sat up, eyes wide. “Is it?”

My eyes narrowed. “Yeah…”

“Huh.” He shrugged, hopping off the couch, his morning erection visible under the blanket. I forced myself to concentrate on his eyes. “I guess that explains the coldness.”

I folded my arms in front of me. “You turned it off, didn’t you? To keep me cold so I would want your body in bed with me.” My eyes widened as my mouth dropped. “You turned the heat
up
the night before to get me hot so I would undress?”

“Maybe,” he said, planting a wet kiss on my cheek as he sauntered into the kitchen. “Bacon and eggs?”

“Uh…” I stormed upstairs, speechless. His unethical methods had no boundaries. He was willing to do anything to get closer to me.

By the time I got to the guest room, a tiny smile had crept on my lips from the thought. It was nice to know I was desired, despite the foolery involved. I was chuckling to myself as I showered and searched my suitcase for something to wear.

I looked at the sweater I wore the day before. It was a simple black v-neck. Nothing special. But it was so comfortable and it fitted me without being too tight. I loved it.

But as I searched through my packed clothes, I couldn’t find anything to wear. All of my clothes looked the same.

I liked my appearance. It was simple, but I always looked well put together. I wasn’t stylish by any means, but Reggie never complained about my plain style. Then again, he had eye candy on the side to admire.

As I hovered over my luggage, I turned my nose up at my clothes. That had never happened to me before.

Sweaters. All sweaters and patterned scarves. And dark jeans.

I’d always dressed that way- simple, clean, elegant. But what I once considered modest and classy now seemed… boring.

In fact, I’d never even worn anything remotely scandalous. Never even a mini skirt.

I picked up a striped sweater and inspected it. The blue and green stripes provided a nice pop of color. But at the end of the day, the shirt was unremarkable. After grabbing a pair of scissors from the dresser, I sheared from one armpit to the next, leaving just a tube in my hand.

I stepped into the tube and slid it up my thighs, hopping into my tight homemade mini skirt.

I took a look at myself in the full-length mirror: my hair was down, and I was just in a black bra and the skirt. I almost didn’t recognize myself.

The reflection I saw was a woman who was sexy, confident, and
free
. I didn’t fully know her, but what I did know, I liked.

I thought back to how I described myself to Derek the day before. The negative words didn’t seem to fit the reflection I saw now. I still saw myself as extra curvy, but I also saw myself as looking
good.
I was seeing myself in a new way. Could I learn to love my body again one day?

“Breakfast is… ready…”

I snapped my head around and met Derek’s wide eyes.

“Don’t you
knock
?”

“What are you doing?”

My cheeks flushed as I covered my body with a bed sheet. I shrugged.

He stepped into the room with a smile on his face. “What are you wearing?” He hooked his finger in the waist of the skirt, tugging it gently. “Did you cut up one of your sweaters?”

The colors in his eyes sparkled from my lack of reply, my cheeks so hot from embarrassment, my head was beginning to throb.

I glanced down at my sleeves from my cut sweater and he followed my stare. He laughed until he had tears in his eyes. Finally, I accepted how silly I must’ve looked, lightly smacking him on the arm as I cracked a smile of my own.

“Hush! I just… never wore a skirt like this before. I wanted to see what I looked like.”

He folded his arms in front of him, still checking me out. “And what do you think?”

I looked down. “It’s not as awful as I thought.”

“I’ve been teasing you about your baggy sweaters, but don’t get me wrong- you should wear what makes you comfortable. But I can’t complain about this look; your ass looks so damn sexy in that. And you know what else skirts are good for?”

I shrugged. He dropped his arms from in front of his chest and grabbed my waist, spinning me around in the blink of an eye. He bent my body over the bed and pressed his center against my exposed crotch.

I felt his member stir to life as he pushed into me from behind.

“Easy access,” he said in a throaty whisper. “Now, come eat.”

He left me in the room startled and breathless, my skin red as I looked at my makeover in the mirror once more before changing into a pair of jeans and a gray sweater.

Halfway through breakfast, my phone rang.

“Excuse me.”

I put the phone to my ear and headed upstairs. “Hello?”

“Hey. Just checking in on you. How are you?”

I smiled at the sound of Kim’s voice. “I’m well. Trying to enjoy my last few days here. We had a snowstorm, but it cleared up nicely. Even got to hit the town yesterday.”

“Well, you sound…
good
. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself; you deserve it.”

“I didn’t think I would be able to feel like this so soon. Maybe it’s temporary, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts.”

“I’m glad you’re not thinking of him. Don’t forget to take lots of pics! You know I have to live vicariously through you. What’d you end up doing yesterday?”

“A show. A little biking. Tried Ethiopian food, too.”

“No way.
You
trying something new?”

I laughed into the phone. “Just trying to live it up. It’s helping me forget about Reggie.”

Kim paused on the other end.

“It doesn’t bother you they’re there? That you could run into them?”

I shrugged as if she could see me through the phone. “It did. I haven’t seen them since our initial run-in, so I’ve just been trying to ignore the fact they’re here.”

“You there?” I asked after she didn’t reply.

“I… don’t know if I can believe this. I know you’re in a good mood; I can hear it in your voice. But I just don’t believe you could be with those two there. What’s really going on?”

I smiled into the phone, unsure of what I should tell her. Would she tell me I was crazy, that I needed to come home and stop acting out? Maybe she would echo the sentiment nagging my conscious- that what I was doing was a mistake, and I would regret it.