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'So you drifted apart?'

'More burst apart, really.' She put down her fork. 'I started wanting a baby but he kept saying no. Subconsciously, I suspect I realised that that was because he'd already decided we weren't going to last. I started panicking. I started insisting about babies and one night I told him I was going to let myself get pregnant regardless of what he said. I said I had it all arranged. I said if he wouldn't take time out of his life for a family then I was going to give up work or go into general practice part time and bring up our children properly.

'For the first time Luke didn't tell me it was too soon or that we'd discuss it again in a few years. He didn't even argue back. He just said he thought it was plain now that we'd be better off apart, wished me a happy life, packed and left. The next week when I was at work he came back and got the rest of his books and clothes. Two days later I got a letter from a lawyer, saying he wanted a divorce. Luke accepted a position in Boston and the next time I saw him was last Monday night at Harry's reception.'

Her hands were shaking too much to pick up her fork to sample any of the second round of dishes that had been delivered, but she thought she managed a fairly creditable smile.

'So that's it, really,' she said jerkily. 'That's the whole, sad, sordid history. But I still haven't told you the most pathetic thing, and that's that every time I see some poor woman at work smile at him invitingly I feel like ripping her head off.

'Don't laugh,' she groaned, when Geoffrey did. 'It's not funny, it's a nightmare.'

'You must still be in love with him.'

Annabel already knew that. She closed her eyes. 'Despite our personal differences, I'll always respect Luke and I have huge admiration for him professionally,' she said quietly. 'That'll never change. He's an incredibly dedicated and inspiring doctor and teacher. And I still remember the good times with him and they were so good it hurts me to think about them. But the bad was pretty bad and he thinks I'm ugly now.'

'He doesn't think you're ugly.'

'Oh, yes, he does.' She blinked her eyes open. 'He told me so tonight.'

'He lied.'

'He never does.'

'Then you misunderstood. You don't exactly make the best of yourself, Annabel, but you're still a gorgeous woman.'

'Thank you for being kind, but I know what he said,' Annabel responded quietly. 'He called me an uptight, screwed-up, frustrated zombie.'

Geoffrey sent her a shocked look and choked on the fried calamari he was eating, but once she'd thumped him on the back and passed him his water and he'd collected himself, she realised he was laughing again.

Annabel studied him. 'I wouldn't be finding it amusing if I were you,' she advised. 'Luke seems to have got the idea in his head that you're the right man to save me from a life of dried up old spinsterhood.'

Geoffrey sobered immediately and Annabel saw a red flush creep up from his neck to his forehead. 'Ah, Annabel. Yes. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that tonight. I wanted to let you know I wouldn't be pestering you to go out with me any more because I, er, asked Miriam Frost out last weekend.'

'Miriam Frost?' Annabel echoed, astonishment turning her mood from self-pity to shock. She'd been dropping heavy hints about the paediatric charge nurse's interest in Geoffrey for over a year and as far as she'd known he'd never taken any notice. 'And?'

'And we went to a show on Saturday night and had a very pleasant evening,' he said sheepishly. 'Then on Sunday we drove to Kew and walked all around and we're taking a picnic to Hampstead this weekend.'

'I'm very pleased,' she said heartily. 'That's great, Geoffrey. I really like Miriam. She's lovely.'

'You don't mind, then?'

'Of course not. I have a feeling things will work out very well for you.' She did feel a thin, sudden pang of loneliness but that was neither his fault nor his responsibility and she reached out and squeezed his plump arm reassuringly. 'I'm happy about it. She's been keen on you for ages.'

'Can't imagine why,' he mumbled, but she saw his blush deepen and smiled.

'You're a very nice man,' she said firmly. 'A very, very nice man.'

An hour later, hugging her knees to her chest in bed, the calculating part of Annabel's brain, remembering her earlier fears about remaining for ever alone and childless, wondered if she'd made a mistake in never encouraging Geoffrey. Despite her denials to Luke of Geoffrey's seriousness, she sensed she might have been able to interest him if she'd been more receptive.

But inwardly her senses revolted against the thought of marriage ever being an emotional compromise. The truth was that she wanted it all, she acknowledged. For her to marry again she'd need everything she'd had with Luke.

Love, craving, passion, need, all of it. All of it except the pain.

The ringing of the telephone beside her bed brought her out from beneath the covers and she reached for the receiver quickly, expecting it to be one of the nurses on J ward about Daisy. Even when she wasn't on call she regularly left instructions to be called directly about problems with her own patients and such calls came fairly regularly.

Only it wasn't the ward, and the voice that answered her husky acknowledgement and set her pulses thudding had an American accent. 'You're home,' Luke observed unnecessarily. 'How did it go with Clancy? Are you alone?'

'Of course.' Annabel struggled up into a sitting position. 'How's Daisy?'

'Stable.' He sounded amused and Annabel's teeth gritted as it occurred to her that even a marginally recovered Daisy might have done something characteristically outrageous to earn that.

'What's so funny, Luke? Did you have to fight her off?'

'She's only little,' Luke countered easily. 'It wasn't much effort and the fact that she could muster the energy to even try was a good sign. Tell me about your date.'

'What makes you think I went?' she prevaricated, her voice sharpening with irritation with herself for feeling pathetically jealous of her own, critically ill patient and with Luke for calling her and thus offering her the provocation.

'This is the first time you've answered your phone all evening. I've been calling since nine,' he added, making her blink with surprise. 'How was the movie?'

'We didn't get there. Geoffrey found out we were married,' she added quickly, still finding the thought of him checking up on her disconcerting. 'He saw Abdul and Louise Faddoul. He trained with them years ago at Guy's and they asked about you.'

'And?'

'And he was very surprised,' she said shortly. 'Luke, don't go on about Geoffrey any more. He's not interested in me and he's seeing another woman. He only asked me out tonight so he could tell me about it. He sounds very excited about her.'

'Ah, Annie.' He made a soft sound. 'So I was wrong. Do you want me to apologise?'

'Definitely.' She wriggled down in the bed again, pulling a pillow across so she could rest on two, then she folded her free arm under her head and gazed around her room. 'You were horrible to me tonight. You were pushy and rude and horrible and it was all wasted because he doesn't even want me. I was lying here, feeling a bit sorry for myself for a few minutes, but that's just silly. Miriam will be much better for him than I would ever be. And this bedroom isn't so bad, you know. It was unfair of you to call it a horror. I know it's a bit impersonal but I like it. It's very restful.'

'You're already in bed?'

'What do you expect when you ring me at...' she squinted at the clock '...eleven-thirty at night. I was almost asleep.'

He went quiet for a few seconds then said, 'That's early for you.'

'Not these days.' Her fist tightened around the receiver and she lowered her eyes, remembering how it had been once between them. On the nights they'd been at home together when neither of them had been on call they'd rarely made it to sleep until the middle of the night. If all had been well they'd made love, and if they'd been fighting then that had merely added an emotional charge to their passion.

'After seeing Abdul and Louise tonight, on the way home I was thinking about that week we spent in Rhodes,' she revealed huskily, speaking fast to overcome her sudden self-consciousness. They'd bought the seven-day package at the last minute from a travel agent close to the hospital, only to realise in the queue for the airport bus on the final day that Abdul and Louise had been on the same holiday at the same resort and they hadn't even noticed them.

'Do you remember trying to teach me to windsurf that day? I was terrible and you were getting so cross with me but I couldn't stop laughing and my arms were all weak and I kept falling off.'

'That would have been on the one day of the whole week we actually left the hotel room,' he said quietly.

'Really?' Annabel blushed hotly, striving for insouciance, although as soon as he'd reminded her she remembered everything. 'Oh,' she said roughly. 'How silly we were. What a waste that was. I'll have to go back one day and see the island properly.'

'If you feel that strongly there are several places you'll have to go back to,' Luke murmured. 'We didn't see much of Paris.'

Annabel closed her eyes weakly. 'Or Amsterdam,' she whispered. They'd flown to the Dutch capital one weekend when they'd found themselves both unexpectedly off duty together. She'd wanted to see a special exhibition at the Rijksmuseum, but instead, once again, they'd barely ventured out of the hotel room. In those early days, given the hours they'd both been working in London, long stretches of free hours together away from the hospital had been like joyous, incredible treats for them.

'Barcelona,' Luke said softly.

Annabel shivered, remembering the three days over their first Easter when they'd managed to get days off together to go away to Spain. But then, realising abruptly what the memories were doing to her, what she was allowing his voice to do, what he probably knew very well he was doing to her, she rolled over and wordlessly slammed the receiver back onto its rest.

Daisy
, still a little puffy and wheezy, greeted Annabel's mock-stern look with a giggle the next morning. 'Oh, no,' she groaned lightly. 'He complained about me.'

'You can't be too sick if you're already making a play for our new professor,' Annabel said coolly, rolling her eyes at Hannah who promptly started to laugh beside her.

'Thought you were still head over heels with your footballer?' Hannah teased.

'I am.' Still giggling, Daisy lifted one frail shoulder. 'He's lovely. He's coming in to see me this morning and he's going to sign autographs for the kids in the children's wards. Dr Stuart, I only tried to kiss him.' The words had made her breathless again, Annabel noted, and she waited quietly while Daisy paused for a moment and collected herself. 'Just a little kiss. To thank him. Only I got...carried away by the drama of the moment. He looked a bit startled, but he didn't mind too much, did he?'

'He'd be used to it,' Hannah said lightly, before Annabel could muster a suitably phrased reply. 'A man like that. He'd have women falling over themselves to get to him. If you want to know the truth, I wouldn't mind kissing him myself.'

Daisy's mouth formed a shocked 'O' and even Mark, their normally sanguine SHO, looked startled. Annabel sent her registrar a brief, annoyed look. 'Do you mind not encouraging her, please?' she said shortly. 'She's incorrigible enough as it is.'

Daisy giggled again and Hannah just laughed. 'With men like that, I wish I were incorrigible,' the younger doctor said lightly. 'Pity I'm just all talk.'

Pity
all
women weren't, Annabel thought coldly.

'How's your heart, Daisy?' After another impatient glance at Hannah, Annabel put on her best consultant expression. 'Did you sleep?'

'I got a bit breathless about five and the registrar came and gave me another shot of diuretic, I think,' Daisy revealed. 'I didn't really sleep. Mr Grant's already been to see me this morning before he had to go to Theatre. He's going to call you later.'

That suggested Luke must have warned the transplant surgeon about Daisy's admission, Annabel registered, nodding as she picked up the charts from the end of the bed. The amount of urine Daisy had passed after the diuretic the evening before and again during the night, as well as the drop in her weight this morning, meant that the medication Luke had prescribed had rid Daisy's body of much of the excess fluid her inefficient heart had allowed to build up.

Annabel examined Daisy thoroughly then made minor adjustments to her drug chart. ECGs, or cardiographs, were done as standard procedure every morning on all her patients at St Peter's, but she asked Mark to organise blood tests and Hannah to ECHO Daisy again in the afternoon. 'You're going to be with us till the end of the week at the very least,' she warned Daisy. 'Your chest X-ray hasn't cleared up as quickly as last time. Have you tried walking yet?'

'It was a bit tough, getting to the bathroom this morning,' Daisy admitted. 'I got almost to the door but then I got a bit weak and breathless and the nurse had to come and help me with a chair.'

'That should improve,' Annabel told her calmly. 'Hopefully, in the meantime, it'll mean the poor nurses won't find you racing a motorbike around the hospital car park.'

'It's a Harley.' Daisy's face brightened and she giggled again. 'John says when I get my new heart he's going to buy me a bike too, then we'll ship them out to Australia and ride around the whole country together.'

'Poor Australia,' Annabel said lightly. 'We should start warning them now.'

Directly after her round she rang Tony Grant, luckily catching him in Theatres between cases. 'Yes, Luke spoke to me last night about her,' he said, after confirming he'd examined Daisy that morning. 'He was also concerned about her but you know her best, Annabel. What do you think?'

'I'd say she has weeks rather than months,' Annabel admitted quietly. 'Her personality's so sparkly it's easy to be deceived, but physically she's deteriorated alarmingly over the past month. We'll get her out of hospital this time but this might be one of the last times we do. Her blood gases last night were the worst they've ever been and they're not all that much better this morning. She's going to need oxygen at home this time.'