Unmaking Hunter Kennedy (43 page)

When the phone beeped he spoke without thinking, “Uh. Mom. It’s me. I’m doing all right. Wondering how you are. I—if you have any time—I’d sure like it if you came out here. It would be cool, you know, to see you. Nan would love it and—I miss you. I want to see you. To talk, face-to-face. I want to you know that I’m sorry. Sorry about everything and that I know you are, too.”

When he finished, he hung up and unplugged the phone quickly. It was tempting to get into the emails and text messages, but he didn’t want to feel worse than he already did. He knew somehow, all that unread crap would add to his angst.

Whatever was in there had come too late. At this point he truly didn’t care about anything from his old world besides, fixing things between him and his mom and getting on with his life. On his terms.

Tomorrow he’d delete all of it without opening even one.

He placed the phone back and grabbed up his guitar. He flipped the amp to low volume, and played, making up yet another sad, sweet, song that he didn’t write down.

He couldn’t.

This one, like all the others, was about Vere and how she looked today, yesterday, and the first time he saw her.

How she made him feel.

The lyrics flowed into him as easily as rain falling from the sky. It was some of the best stuff he’d ever put together. He tried to talk himself out of his feelings, the pain in his heart, and ignore the word
love
altogether.

But as he played and played, letting the somber tones of the guitar fill the room, he sang everything he wasn’t brave enough to utter in words. To himself, to his mom and to his soul.

He let his fingers wander the strings, and allowed his heart to soar all the way to loving Vere how he wasn’t allowed to love her face to face. It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. But it was something.

When his room grew dark, he knew he’d failed miserably once again at formulating a plan on how to fix everything. His stomach rumbled so he finally got up and went down to join Aunt Nan for dinner.

He would wait until after they ate to bring up how he thought he wasn’t feeling so good. He’d sit with Aunt Nan and watch her favorite home makeover show. He’d mention how he felt sort of sweaty and dizzy.

He’d then go upstairs too early for bed.

He’d have it all set up, so when he didn’t go to school tomorrow morning, Aunt Nan would believe him when he told her that he was sick and unable to leave his bed.

It wasn’t that he was acting like a sore loser. That wasn’t it.

He did feel sick, because his heart had crumpled into a ball hours ago. An event, he was now certain, had caused the thing to stop beating all together.

For real.

It’s not going to fade away by morning that’s for sure! And it’s not going to get better watching Vere go after another guy.

It will take some damn time.

A damn, long time. With me, sick. In bed.

35: party pointers needed

VERE

Vere pelted up the stairs. She had ten minutes to brush her teeth and locate one giant ball of courage.

Dustin was coming over in ten—to
hopefully
help her with her latest guy exposure coaching session. This lesson, if Dustin even agreed to it, was going to be a doozy.

It was the most important one of all.

Thank GOD Mom and Dad are out playing a tennis tournament this afternoon.

She stopped in front of the mirror and gulped as she reached for the toothbrush. Did she really have the courage to do this? She did. It was just Dustin.
Her Dustin McHugh.
She shouldn’t be nervous to ask him anything. He’d said exactly that since their friendship started.

‘Ask me anything, Vere’
, he’d said.

And she knew he’d meant it. He’d helped her with everything else along the way, why not this? If only she’d had more time to talk to him about her crazy plan. But she hadn’t seen him all week. With the party she’d been invited to (along with Curtis and everyone who was
anyone
) looming in just a few hours she’d hit the
now-or-never
point!

Dustin had missed school Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Early in the week she’d called over to Nan’s place. Dustin had told her he was too sick to see her. Ordered her not to come over. She’d tried once, but Nan said he wouldn’t even get out of bed.

On Thursday, Dustin was at school, but every time she caught sight of him, he seemed to be wandering off in the opposite direction.

She could swear the guy had grown deaf or something.

The same thing had happened Friday. She figured he was settling back into his classes. Catching up on missed work. Plus he’d started making other friends besides her. A point he’d made when she finally caught up to him Friday afternoon and he’d told her he was going to the movies with ‘other friends’.

It still stung a little that he hadn’t asked her to come along too, because almost an entire week had passed since they’d hung out. So much for them being such best friends, after all.

Vere reached for the dental floss. As she worked the floss into each tooth, she admitted that she was partly to blame for some of it. She’d had such a good week. Their make-overs had caused quite a stir. Vere and Jenna both felt as though they’d entered another world.

Dustin had sure known his stuff. They’d been flooded with so much attention that Vere had acted like a kid in a candy store, flirting and openly chatting with so many different guys she never would have spoken to before. It was fun to be so...
noticed
. So awesome to believe in herself and have real confidence!

By the end of the week, especially Friday afternoon, Vere had just wanted to pull on Charlie’s old sweatshirt, clamp her hair into a bun, and return to her former invisible life.

Which is exactly what she’d done all last night and this long, Saturday morning.

It had been enough to rejuvenate her, and with the party looming she’d started to panic.

She thought about tonight—and her week with Curtis.

Since Monday, Curtis had gone sort of crazy on her. She’d loved that he liked her new look. There was no question left in her mind that the guy didn’t have eyes only for her.

To have that solidified felt great. He’d showered her with attention and compliments. He’d also staked his claim by glowering at any guy whom he thought might be flirting with her. That part had been a dream come true.

Only, the dream was not what she’d imagined it would be. All that cute knee tapping and the circles he made on her legs, and those smoldering strange looks had escalated a bit too much for Vere’s liking. To the point it had started to make her feel creepy just thinking about it.

About him.

She assumed it was nerves and anticipation for the next level. How embarrassing that her next level was only kissing. Everyone else was way past that—so she had no idea why she would even be afraid. It wasn’t as if he were trying to grope up her shirt or anything. He’d been a gentleman. An annoying, loud one that made it clear what he wanted, but still. Maybe her nervousness was annoying him right back.

Either way, she couldn’t shake a new feeling she had about Curtis. A feeling she couldn’t even define. This feeling kept making her heart race every time he was near, but not in a good way. She’d sort of had the urge to actually ditch drama class. Who ditched class because she was about to go to the
next level
with the boy of their dreams?

It was not like her to even consider that. As the week wore on, the urge to ditch drama class had grown. Curtis seemed to have turned into an octopus. He had grown extra hands, and they were always on her.

And while they were in front of everyone!

She would have to talk to him about the PDA thing, soon.

All of his touching and ogling and deflecting those darn hands had played a major part in why she’d felt so exhausted. She figured she would have to get used to those hands on some level if she was going to be his real girlfriend.

And she did want to be that, but only if he could tone it down.

She’d been invited to sit with Curtis at the
‘popular jocks and girlfriends of jocks’
table in the lunchroom. Jenna had been included, too! Vere’s blushing and shy attacks seemed to be quickly becoming a bad memory.

She hadn’t turned red in days!

To top it all off, Kristen Hodjwick had been so nice them all week that it had kind of started freaking Vere out even more. Kristen had even invited Vere to the ‘Saturday party’ she’d been planning. At her house.

As in tonight. As in—at Kristen Hodjwick’s house! Unbelievable!

Vere hadn’t hung out within a five-mile radius of Kristen since the day of ‘the incident’. Tonight was going to be so strange, but wonderful.

Because it means everything is in the past! And that I’ve got a future! Finally.

Curtis and Charlie had agreed to ‘meet them there’. Kristen’s house was only one cul-de-sac over. Charlie would have the car so he and Curtis could make it back from some late afternoon scrimmage in time, and she and Jenna would walk to the party and drive home together.

Things had been pretty strange between Jenna and Charlie ever since Jenna’s
marriage speech
up at the cabin. Today had been the first day Charlie and Jenna had gone from
dead silence
at school to
speaking a little
. Maybe it was all going to blow over and go back to normal between all of them.

She hoped so. She wanted everything to just feel normal, even between herself and Curtis. She had five hours and twenty-two minutes to get herself together.

It was an unspoken rule that going to this football party and meeting Curtis there would make or break their identity as a real, live public couple. Tonight, she expected at least once, to kiss Curtis. To stake her own claim, on her own guy!

How cool would that be?

The fact that he’d be taking her to homecoming the following weekend was not enough to make their relationship solidly noted. The kiss, in front of everyone, would get them both Facebook official.

Which they still were
not
! Because she refused to send him the ‘relationship’ request first, and so far, he hadn’t sent one to her.
UGH Why?
Maybe he was waiting for tonight too. Because of their past, because of ‘the incident’, everyone would be watching. Double watching to see if she’d mess up.

Vere swallowed. Her heart raced in panic at the thought.

This is why she’d called Dustin to come over.

She’d decided she needed to have some sort of insurance against her flailing, kissing past so she wouldn’t make an idiot out of herself in front of the entire world again.

She had to practice first. Get some exposure.

And she meant to beg Dustin to help her.

Vere giggled nervously at the thought. She giggled again. Who else could she ask or trust enough with this? Hopefully he would agree. He knew everything about her. He would totally understand her request. No one made her feel safer, or put her so at ease with strange, complicated guy issues.

And that’s exactly what kissing was.

Strange, and complicated.

With Dustin, this topic would seem simple.

Vere sighed at the madness of it all and walked into her bedroom. She sat on the edge of her bed, listening for the doorbell. She swallowed another nervous giggle as she looked at her hands.

She prayed down to her toes that she would get through one kiss without sending her poor,
BGF
to the emergency room.

36: just one peck

Dustin

“Kiss you? You want me to kiss you?” Dustin pulled off his glasses and all but choked on the green apple bite now lodged in the back of his throat. He coughed and paced the entire length of the Roth basement family room, working to dislodge the chunk of apple. When it broke free, he kept his face completely straight and turned to face Vere. “I thought you said this was something important.”

He was grateful for the apple’s crisp, tart juice because his entire mouth had gone sand-dry. He said nothing further, kept chewing, poker face on overdrive, and waited for her to continue.

Why in the hell did I agree to come over here?

She’d seemed so earnest on the phone.

She’d said please, and I can’t resist her when she says that.

And damn, but I wanted to see her. So badly. That’s why.

He’d fallen for the, ‘I just need a little help, it won’t take long’, line. He’d sworn to stay away from Vere but here he was. Undoing all of the hard work he’d done to try and get over her.

Vere’s cheeks were bright red. He could tell she knew it was an utterly insane request, but her gaze held earnest and hopeful.

Too damn hopeful.

Hell no, little friend. I can’t play with you anymore.

“It is important. Kissing is really important. I’m a proven failure at it. I just want to be sure I have it under control before tonight.”

Dustin tried to remain calm. He took another giant bite of apple. He had to keep this light. She couldn’t be serious. “I should have known something was up when you shooed Charlie out of here. Don’t you feel bad lying to your own brother?”