Unraveling You 02 Raveling You (17 page)

Lyric

The next week passes rather quickly, but that might just be because I’m stressed out. We all are. Even at my mother’s slamming art show, we were all a wreck. Fiona kept saying she had a feeling someone was watching us, or more specifically Ayden. After what she said that night, the girl has utterly creeped out.

Most days, everyone just kind of hangs out at the house, waiting for news that never gets delivered. Ayden and I are only allowed to be by ourselves when we’re at band practice, a place that’s quickly becoming our sanctuary through all of this, even though we work our butts off to learn one of the songs I wrote. Actually, the one Ayden and I wrote together.

After a lot of contemplating and Ayden refusing to let us sing one of his songs, I decide we should do the one we wrote. We had to complete it first, though, which took us an entire night, a six-pack of Dr. Pepper, and an endless amount of gummy worms.

But we did it.

Saturday night the tension in our lives briefly lifts like thinning fog. Because Saturday night is club opening night and our band’s first gig. I’m ecstatic the entire day until we’re actually at the club. Then reality kicks me in the face.

 “Oh, my God, I think I’m going to puke,” I whisper as I peek out onto the stage. “There are so many people out there.”

“You’ll be fine.” Ayden rubs my back. “And just remember, only you and I are in the room.”

Easier said than done when there are two hundred plus people buzzing with energy all crammed into one room. We’re the first band up, too, something I sarcastically thanked my dad for.

“I’m suddenly wondering why I begged to do this so much.” My eyes remain fixed on the floor. In the midst of the madness, near the bar, I spot my mom and Aunt Lila throwing back shots. Awesome. Guess Ayden and I are going to be DD since they were our ride here.

Uncle Ethan and my dad are around, shuffling people here and there, dictating what to do. The last time I saw my dad, he looked like a wreck, his bedhead/fauxhawk look in full form. I’d feel bad for him, but he’s always said opening a club has been a dream of his for the last ten years, so I figure all the stress has to be worth it.

Most dreams are, right?

“Because it’s your dream,” Ayden reminds me as his hands travel up to my shoulders. His fingers work their magic, unwinding the knots in my muscles. “You can do this, Lyric. I know you can. You’re the bravest person I know.”

 “Then you clearly don’t know yourself.”

“I’m not brave at all,” he utters quietly. “I couldn’t even make it through the start of my amnesia therapy without freaking out.”

I embrace his touch as his arms circle my waist. “You’ll get there. It’ll just take some time.”

“Tell that to Detective Rannali. He’s getting super pushy about doing more sessions, like the entire case is riding on it. I don’t get it, though. Even my therapist says the therapy isn’t a guarantee, that there’s a chance it won’t work.”

“Fuck Detective Rannali. It’s easy for him to be pushy and expectant when he’s not the one lying in that chair, facing what you are.”

“But I don’t even know what I’m facing.” He rests his forehead against the back of my head and his erratic breathing tickles the back of my neck. “I’m scared of what I’ll see.”

It’s the first time he’s flat-out admitted he is afraid. I wish I could take away his fear, wish I could free him from his pain.

“I’m here for you if you ever need to talk.” It’s all I can offer him, but I hope it’s enough.

“I know.” He grazes his lips across the back of my head. “Can we talk about something else now? Before I get all riled up.”

I nod. “Um, did you see all the freaking musicians when we walked in? I seriously about died.”

“Yeah, your dad’s got mad connections.”

“Sage is totally working it, too. He went right for the first girl he saw. I think she plays drums for one of the bands. I’ll give it to him. She’s pretty hot.”

Ayden chuckles under his breath. “I love how you can openly say stuff like that, but just so you know, you look hot,” he whispers in my ear, his breath hot on my skin.

I shiver from the caress of his breath and glance down at my boots, netted tights, and plaid dress that hugs my body. My hair is down, black liner frames my eyes, and my lips shine with gloss.

“So do you.” I whirl around to face him. His black hair hangs in his eyes, he’s wearing the leather collar because I suggested it would be fun to wear for one night, and he has on a red shirt and black jeans held up by a studded belt. “My gothically adorable friend.”

“You know, I think we should create a Lyric Scott dictionary and sell it online.”

“We’ll definitely have to look into that,” I agree, fiddling with the collar on his neck. “I have so many more words sloshing around in my head.”

I angle my head up towards his face. When our gazes fasten, our mouths magnetize toward each other. My breathing quickens and so does his. His dark eyes smolder with passion, and my skin hums with nearly unbearable heat. God, I want to kiss him all the time. It’s crazy how much I want to kiss him.

This is how it’s been between us for the last week. The moment we look at each other, we start making out and are unable to keep our hands off each other. I seriously feel like I have no control over myself anymore, and I’m kind of glad. I love, love, love losing myself in him.

I always have to be careful, though. Ayden has no problem with touching me, but I can’t even slip my fingers up his shirt without sending him into a panic attack.

“You guys about ready to go on?” Uncle Ethan’s voice instantly puts a lid on the moment.

We push apart, our breathing ragged. We turn to the side, and Ayden immediately withdraws his hands from my waist the moment he catches sight of Uncle Ethan’s questioning expression.

“Um…” Ayden struggles with what to say.

“You’re on in five.” Uncle Ethan’s attention flicks between the two of us before he hurries off toward the hallway where the rest of the bands are hanging out.

“Do you think he saw us?” Ayden asks worriedly as he faces me again.

I shrug. “I’m not sure. It kind of looked like it.”

“What are we going to do if he did?”

“I don’t know. He might not say anything to anyone. This is Uncle Ethan we’re talking about. He rarely says anything.”

“Yeah, but us about to kiss…” Ayden makes a wary face. “I kind of doubt he’ll keep quiet about that.”

I open my mouth to tell him not to stress about it when Sage and Nolan come strolling up.

“This is so fucking awesome.” Nolan bounces up and down on the balls of his feet, pumped up.

Sage leans around me to get a glimpse of the crowd. “Dude, the place is packed.”

Place.

Crowds.

People watching me.

Watching me sing.

What if I suck?

I’m suddenly reminded that I have bigger problems than whether or not Ethan is going to out my and Ayden’s relationship.

My stomach churns. “I think I’m going to throw up.” I slap my hand across my mouth and push past Ayden, running into the restroom. I lock myself in the stall, drop to my knees, and puke up every ounce of the chicken I ate for dinner.

My belly is empty by the time I sit down on the floor.

“I can’t do this,” I mutter. “I really can’t.”

A moment or two ticks by, then I hear the click of heels on the other side of the stall.

“Lyric, are you in here?” my mother hisses.

“Yeah,” I say with a groan. “I think I’m too sick to go on stage, though.”

She gives the stall door a shake. “Open up. Now.”

I kneel up and unlatch the door then sit back down. She walks in with a glass half full of wine, and I notice her eyes are a little glazed. She takes one look at me then shuts the stall.

“You have to do this.” She tears some tissue from off the roll and hands it to me.

“I know. I know. Or Dad will hate me.” I dab the sides of my mouth and under my eyes then toss the tissue into the toilet.

“No, because you’ll regret it if you don’t.” She pats the top of my head. “Trust me, your dad will forgive you if you bail. Will he be upset? Probably for a while, but he loves you too much to stay mad at you. But trust me when I say that regret is much harder to get over.”

“You’re speaking from personal experience, aren’t you?” I stare up at her, the woman who shares the same eyes as me and is probably one of the coolest persons I know. I look up to her for living her dream of becoming an artist.

She nods. “I am. There’s a lot of stuff I have and haven’t done in the past that I wish I could do differently.”

I heave a weighted sigh. “Fine, I’ll do it, but only because your pep talk is scaring me.” I get to my feet, and then we exit the stall. I stop by the sink to wash my hands while my mom sets her wineglass down on the counter to fix her lipstick. While she’s not paying attention, I pick it up and take a few swallows.

“Lyric Scott,” she scolds, but I can tell she’s working hard to be angry. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“Okay.” I hand the glass back to her as the alcohol swims through my veins. I feel slightly mellower, but not a whole lot. I still manage to exit the bathroom and walk backstage where Sage, Nolan, and Ayden are waiting.

“You going to be okay?” Ayden asks, brushing my matted hair from my forehead.

I nod, but don’t say anything as vomit burns at the back of my throat again. “No regrets. No regrets. No regrets,” I chant under my breath.

“What are you saying?” Sage asks, semi-distracted by the stage.

“Nothing.” I turn my back to him and keep chanting until we’re called out.

“This is it,” I whisper to myself. Then I raise my chin, square my shoulders, and march out onto the stage.

The lights are blinding, the crowd is eagerly cheering, even though they have no clue who we are. I remember all the times I’ve cheered bands on and wonder if this is how any of those singers felt, as if they’d swallowed a thousand butterflies on crack.

Ayden and Nolan plug their guitars in and do a quick tuning and sound check. Sage does a few warm up beats while I stand in front of the microphone and adjust the height of the stand an unnecessary amount of times.

Then the strum of a guitar ripples through the amp and floats over the crowd. The entire room silences and people stare at me, waiting to be dazzled by my talent.

I’m supposed to say something. My dad told me what it was, but I can’t remember.

“Um… we’re Alyric Bliss,” I murmur into the microphone, and my dad’s words gradually come back to me. “And thanks for coming out. This one’s called ‘Raveling You.’ ”

Something as easy as a few sentence makes my knees threaten to buckle. I grasp the stand with my sweaty palms as Sage taps his drums. Then the three of them are playing, creating a flawless tune that swirls together and kisses the air. I just hope I don’t fuck it up when I open my mouth.

The intro is pretty long, so I have to wait a seemingly endless amount of time before I sing, but the moment finally arrives.

I take a deep breath and part my lips.

“I never knew it could be like this, never thought such desire was possible, kissing the air from his lungs.” My lips quirk at my slight word variation. “And the heavens rain stars down on us, pieces of shimmering gold around us, pouring warmth all over us. Kiss me until I can no longer breathe. Raveling me up with you until I can hardly think. God, please fucking kiss me before I crumble to pieces.”

I move back as Ayden’s guitar takes over. I suck in a few breaths, feeling less nervous. My voice is balanced, surprisingly smooth. Although, the next part will test it. The words move fast, and I have to push my voice to a near scream. In practice, I rocked it, but I’m worried now. My throat feels like sand paper after puking.