Unravelled (29 page)

But where did it come from?

A rather daft question seeing as there is someone in my house who arrived not too long ago, but...I’m pretty sure Adam didn’t buy this for me. If he were to buy me clothes, wouldn’t it be a classic outfit that would suit a woman befitting to be Mr Wall Street’s partner?

I’m almost completely convinced that this wasn’t Adam’s choice. I can see
Erin
’s hand in this. He knows my style even though he reels in horror every time he sees me wearing one of my favourite outfits. It most definitely wasn’t Juan’s choice – he would have a screaming fit if he saw me ruin his weeks of training and coaching on how to dress for success and act the part.

But why would
Erin
buy me clothes if he wouldn’t even phone me knowing that I’m here? And why would he send Adam to bring the clothes? The last hour in the bathroom has not helped me understand why Adam showed up at my door. And now this? I’ve looked at this situation from every angle and even though I pride myself on a fair amount of understanding human behaviour, Adam’s actions reach beyond my comprehension. The only way for me to put an end to my incessant speculating is to get dressed and hear what the man I’m in love with has to say.

Chapter 25

“That smells good.”

Nothing beats the smell of coffee and toast. My dining room table, which has never served any other purpose than being a second desk and collecting rubbish, has been cleared and is loaded with a wonderful looking breakfast. Adam looks up from the newspaper he’s reading on the couch and gives me another crooked smile.

“You look much better.”

“Thank you. I feel much better too.”

“You’re not wearing the dress.” I just couldn’t get myself to wear such a perfect outfit when he is going to tell me that it’s over. It’s also more fitting for wearing to a special occasion and I don’t really think this is going to be a special occasion. At least not in the positive sense. I’ve spent some time preparing myself while I was getting dressed and I think I might be ready for whatever he’s going to tell me. It was difficult for me to not wear the dress – it is really perfect.

Another reason why I didn’t put it on is that I didn’t want him to know how desperately I love the outfit and want to wear it everyday for the next two weeks. It would hurt too much watching his back as he walks out for the last time while wearing the dress he brought. So I put on a pair of comfortable jeans and a t-shirt.

I spent some time arranging my messy-hair look and with some mascara and lip gloss, I feel better, but not really up to confrontation or conversation.

“Did
Erin
put you up to this?” I plant myself at the table and down the glass of orange juice that was next to my plate. Adam walks over from the sitting area, sits down across from me and fills my glass with more juice.

“Put me up to what?”

“The food, the cleaning, the clothes.”

“He only told me where you were and gave me the keys.” I plan to have a word with my so-called best friend!

“Where did you get the dress?”

“I bought it in a shop.”

I find that hard to believe. In all the time that I’ve known Adam and that we shared accommodation, not once did he go into a shop to buy clothes. I once entertained a theory that there were elves who bought his clothes and hung them in his wardrobe at night. I never even saw him take his clothes to the dry cleaners and it is a mystery that I suppose now will never be solved for me.

“Do you like it?”

“I love it. But...why?”

Adam puts a slice of toast that he buttered for me on my plate, I cover it in strawberry jam and sink my teeth into it. Bliss. Sugar and starch – every heartbroken girl’s best friend.

“I thought it might be a good start to everything that I have to say to you.” He excuses himself to the kitchen and returns with a pot of coffee. This man really knows how to soften me up. Food, coffee and clothes. I’m surprised that he bought the dress for me, but when I think about it, I’m not all that surprised at his choice. I’ve witnessed his knack to read people right and the outfit tells me that he read me correctly.

It makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy because he knows my style and sad because he most likely is here to end it. It would never work between us in any case and that brings the tears to the surface again.

“Alex, please don’t cry. I won’t be able to speak to you if you do.”

I swallow hard at the rock in my throat, but it is Blossom’s untimely fart from beneath the table that sends the tears away. We both laugh and I rub Blossom’s tummy with my foot.

“I still don’t want to have this conversation.” I sound petulant and feel stupid for sounding like a teenager, but the toast turns in my stomach just thinking of how much I’m going to hurt when Adam leaves my house today.

“Tough. Eat your food and just listen.” Adam nervously plays with his teaspoon and I wonder why he seems nervous. The corner of his mouth is not giving away any secrets, so I resign myself to eating and listening. What else can I do?

“The last few days have been very educational to me. After you left, I made a few phone calls and learned some interesting facts about you.” My heart drops heavily down my chest, through my bum and bounces on the floor below me. “The one that taught me the most about you was a long conversation I had with Earl. He told me what really happened with my car and how you made them promise to keep to ‘your truth’. He also said I should tell you that he’s waiting to take you for a Sunday afternoon drive. He said you would know what he’s talking about.” I smile sadly at the thought of that sweet old man and watch Adam take a sip of his coffee. It seems like he needs a moment to prepare himself for what he’s about to say. There is nothing I can do now to prepare myself, and since my heart is lying on the floor bleeding out, I fatalistically take another big bite of my strawberry jam toast and wait.

“When I put the phone down, I realised what it was that made me fall in love with you. It was your intensity, your passion and your absent-mindedness that drew me to you, but it was your compassion that made me fall for you. The whole town has fallen in love with you, Al.” He smiles crookedly. “Maybe with the exception of Zondra.”

“What...” Wait. What? What is he talking about? The whole town falling in love with me?

“No, you listen and I talk. Let me finish and then you can have your say.”

“Ok.” Most unusual for me to agree to this, but once again Adam is not saying what I expected to hear and I’m scared, yet curious, to hear where this is going.

“I interrogated Ray who told me that Zondra came to the office. I eventually spoke to her and after a few false starts got her to tell me what she said to you.” I must admit that I’m glad I was not on the receiving end of that conversation with him. “She will apologise to you in person, but asked me to send her apologies when I see you.”

“Adam, you’re not my father who has to fix things and intimidate people into apologies.”

“I don’t see myself as your father at all. But this situation needed fixing. And you are still not allowed to talk. So just listen.”

“Okay.” I push the last piece of the toast in my mouth to keep me from talking.

“You never saw the need to tell me about your past and I also didn’t see the need, but since Zondra so kindly brought Elle into this, I will explain to you.” He stops a comment from me with a raised finger, so I lean back in my chair and wait. “Elle and I had a good relationship. She was everything I needed in a wife. But she was not anything I wanted in a partner, in a wife. We had a very amicable break up and not very soon after that, when my grandfather died, it seemed the perfect time for me to make a life change as well. I moved to Villsburg and Elle bought my flat because she liked it and it saved her from moving.” I’ve finished my coffee and am totally enthralled in what he is telling me.

“I had enough of the rush of the city. After fifteen years of fighting the corporate war and winning one after the other battle, there was nothing challenging in it for me any longer. I didn’t like the power that my position gave me over people and I really didn’t like the way my peers abused that power. I wanted to get out of it. I also wanted to have someone in my life who is real. Someone that I can share experiences with, can laugh with and someone who has compassion. The last being a quality sadly lacking in the world I was so involved in until then. And a quality that was not part of Elle’s world or character.”

Now I’m too scared to say anything. He is saying things and I think I’m understanding things, but I’m too terrified to open my mouth and ruin the moment. I pour myself another, my third, glass of orange juice.

“And then you appeared on the side of the road with your inability to be something that you are not. You were like a breath of fresh air in my life and once I got to know you, realised that you’re everything I want as my wife.”

His what? I swallow a mouth full of orange juice too quickly and start choking. It takes a few moments to clear my lungs from juice and I look at Adam with bloodshot eyes, one which is still a vomitey yellow-green and slightly swollen, and he continues as if he didn’t just say what I thought I heard him say.

“We never talked about this and I never thought that my previous relationship might become a problem. Maybe if I’ve been clearer on how I felt about you, you wouldn’t have taken heed to Zondra and her malicious talk.”

He reaches across the table and takes my shocked limp hands in his. “Alex, let me be very clear right now. I love you.” He whats me? “I want you to be there when I wake up in the mornings and when I go to bed at night.”

“No, you don’t.” I pull my hands back and cross my arms. “Adam, you don’t know me. You don’t know why I left.”

“Oh, but I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I…”

“No, now it is my turn to talk.” He nods, dutifully sits back and listens. “I left because this thing between us would destroy you. It would bring shame on your reputation and damage your career that you’ve worked so many years to build. And then it would break my heart.”

“Are you talking about your criminal record, the married boyfriend, or your adventure with the
special investigation unit
? Or are you talking about dating Jesus?” The corner of his mouth is now giving me a little hint that he might be getting annoyed. “Alex, do you really think that I care about your past?”

“Yes, I do and if you don’t, you should.” I shoot back, furious with him for knowing this about me and enraged with Erin, the only one alive who knows all this, for obviously being the one who told him my deep dark secrets. “
Erin
told you.”

“Only after I badgered him. Don’t be angry with him Alex. He’s only got your best interests at heart.”

“By telling you my secrets?!”

“Oh, come on. These secrets are not as deep and dark as you think.”

“Hmph.”

“How many more times must I tell you that I don’t care about your previous boyfriends? I don’t care that you have a criminal record.” He’s beginning to sound exasperated.

“You should care. You of all people should know what the corporate world is like.”

“I just told you that I don’t care about that world.”

“But you should. You’ve worked so hard to be where you are today.”

“Yes, I have and now my career speaks for itself. Have you not seen me on this month’s cover of Business and Finance?”

“Of course I have and that is exactly why I think you should stay away from me. I’m bad news as you so obviously know.”

“My private life and my professional life are two different worlds. Alex, I want you in my life. Both my lives. I love coming home to the shoes in the foyer and the half-empty coffee mugs staining my antiques.”

“It will lose its charm all too soon.”

“No, it won’t. I love sitting in the den and listening to you putter around the house, speaking to yourself.”

“I don’t speak to myself.”

“You do, and I love it. I even love the little snoring noises you make when you sleep. When you’re not in the office, I look forward to going home, because you’ll be there.” My tear ducts are working overtime again, but this time it’s because every word Adam says is what I’ve so desperately wanted to hear, but never allowed myself to hope for. He takes my hands again in his and squeezes them. “Now when I walk into the house that previously felt like a hotel, it feels like I’m coming home.”

“Because I make such a mess.”

“No. Well, maybe a little. But it’s because you are there.” He leans forward and wipes a tear off my cheek with his thumb. “Alex, I don’t want you to be anyone you are not. Your eccentricities drive me crazy at the best of times, but that’s part of why I love you. You’ve challenged me on levels that no other ‘perfect’ woman has ever done.” He cups my cheek with his hand and I can’t help but lean into him. “And I really don’t care about your past.”

“But I still get calls from the special
investigation
unit.”