“Well, I’m glad to have you around,” I responded.
“Young people often forget, too, that our number of opportunities is limited. True friends come few and far between, and I see so often how people just abandon one another—throw others who love them away so easily because there’s something about them that they don’t like. What they don’t understand is that if you keep cutting out every imperfection, you’re not just going to be alone, you’re going to be out of chances. Our time isn’t as infinite as our age makes it seem, so that’s why I want to treasure every person that comes my way, thorns and all,” Joy finished with complete candidness.
The rest of the evening passed without even a hint of a bleed-through. I was starting to realize that when my mental state worsened, it was more likely for them to occur. Being near Joy’s indestructible good mood was like a panacea.
When it came time to leave, I felt a bit nervous about crossing the campus by myself in the dark, but the costume bouncing in the bag at my side kept my spirits lifted. I found myself thinking that I might be able to get this thing under control, that if I learned to understand and ignore the bleed-throughs, I might be able to stay safe within my own garden. I could make that section of Unreal City mine for the rest of my life. I could even face Charles Poe and demand the answers that I needed to hear, then return all that much stronger. I could do anything I set my mind to.
As I crossed the dizzyingly high bridge over the chasms bursting with their forest overgrowth, I was filled with this new confidence. With my eyes fixed on the pale light of the stars and the crescent moon, I allowed this courage to course through me. Being one of the Cunning Folk was an enormous gift, albeit a ponderous one. So what if I had to give Felix my blood, and let him leech off me for the rest of my time? He’d be my terrifyingly adorable pet vampire. So what if things got weird sometimes? It would never be as bad as it already had been, because I’d grow accustomed to it. And if I lived through getting swallowed by the ground, I could live through anything. If I lived through
losing Lea
, maybe the worst really
had
already passed, and—
Something was standing under the trees at the end of the bridge. Something tall, emaciated, and dappled by the shadows of the pines. I stumbled back, stopping halfway across the bridge to wait and see if I could get a better glimpse. Night gave it the advantage of staying obscured if it wanted to be.
“Hello?” I called, clutching my satchel’s strap until my knuckles were white. I could just make out something slipping into the trees. I held my place halfway across the bridge. I didn’t want to cross if it was waiting for me, but I didn’t think I knew the way home if I went backward. After all was quiet for almost five minutes, I decided to creep forward and see if the way was clear. I kept my eyes fixed on the point in the trees where it had disappeared.
What if it’s Antler-Man? What if he decides to kill me? Is he the one who drowns people? I don’t want to see what he looks like anymore. Please just let me get home. I wish Felix were here.
Thoughts fired off like the bangs of fireworks in my head. My footsteps made the wood creak. I knew he could hear me coming, if it was him. However, the closer I got to the thicket that he’d slipped into, the more it seemed that perhaps my eyes had been playing tricks on me. It could have been just another bleed-through, a lonely specter, a loose piece of some memory that had been misplaced here in the woods. My shoulders started to relax after I’d made it across the bridge. Just to be safe, I stepped closer to the patch of trees, checking to see if they looked disturbed. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, so I decided I was in the clear for now. Just as I resumed my walk, a shape as tall and thin as a tree blocked the view of the crescent moon.
I stood trembling in his shadow, resisting the urge to drop to my knees. If I got away, I would never sleep again knowing such a thing existed in this world.
It was a familiar; that much I knew at once. His body was made out of that same solid, ghost-material that Felix’s was, but this Spirit’s energy seemed
corrupted.
It was the only way I could describe the energy field humming off him. He was at least nine feet tall and his spindly, bony arms ended in hands that looked like tree branches. One arm curled around a vat that he lugged under his skeletal shoulder. Yet it wasn’t even the disproportionate body or limbs, or the twisted bones under the wet skin that sent me into a state of such sublime terror. It was his face, his jawless face with its gaping hole of a mouth that dripped gelatinous, watery saliva down his front. It was the image of those chasm-like eyes with their pinholes of light—that same unearthly light that was in all the spirits, the light that burned, made one’s head ache, and one’s stomach seize up—and that loose, rolling skin under his damp, long hair. That was the image that was seared into my eyes. It haunts me even now. He moved his head, shaggy hair and antlers swinging as a flow of water spewed from his mouth. He lurched toward me as I tried to suck in enough breath to scream.
Unreal City…come back to Unreal City,
the spirit’s voice boomed. It was coming out of that vat.
I need you. Come find me in Unreal City.
“G-get away!” I shrieked, trying to keep my head. I knew that if I fell, even for a second, it would be over. If I bolted back, however, I’d be in danger of tripping over the edge into the ravine. So I proceeded slowly, one trembling step at a time as I snuck glances back and prepared to bolt when I had a clear path. The familiar moaned, a low, tortured sound as he shuddered. It was like he had no clear direction of what to do, but was acting under some powerful, emotional influence. More water spewed forth from his mouth-hole, and he lifted the vat upward.
I was just getting ready to make a break for it when I saw the inside of that vat. His voice was in there—and others’ too, but they were whispering too quietly to be understood. The reflection of water swirled against the curved sides of the vat, and the longer I looked, the more hypnotized I became. The ripples mesmerized me and the urge to escape waned. Suddenly I realized water was rushing
out
of my mouth, choking me, originating at the back of my throat.
I spat into the dirt and gasped. Just as I felt my throat clear, another gush followed and I was choking all over again, trying my best not fall over.
This is how Lea died. This is how she felt
, I realized. With great effort I tore my eyes from the vat, turned, and ran in any direction I could, my feet slipping on the loose dirt. The Antler-Man was howling behind me as I escaped, begging me not to go. More water burst from the back of my throat and tried to rush downward, and I tried swallowing it this time. Most of it went to my stomach, but I was still spluttering and trying to get even one breath of air as I forced my legs to keep going.
I wasn’t far from Merrill now. I could make it if I kept going. A smaller rush of water came, and this time I easily spat it out and kept running. I thanked myself for all those extra days I spent at the tennis court back in high school. Skinny as I had become, my legs could still run. By the time I burst through the doors into my dorm, I realized my entire front was covered with water and spittle. What I wanted more than anything was to leap into the shower, but I was too afraid. I needed Felix beside me.
I found my familiar in my room, causally walking around on the ceiling. Catching sight of me, he swooped downward and came to a graceful landing at my feet.
“Sarah, what happened to you?”
“I found him—I found what killed my sister,” I gasped, wiping my face on the comforter and pulling my hair back from my forehead. “It was a familiar. Though he didn’t feel like how you or the others feel when I get near them. It was like he wasn’t in control of himself—just confused. Angry and…and deeply sad.”
“What did he do when he saw you?” Felix asked, growing solemn.
“He tried to kill me. Drown me, like he drowned Lea, that boy from my high school, and the kid from here. He’s looking for me, I think. He wants me to come back to Unreal City.” I was shaking now, and chilled to the bone. I climbed the ladder on shaky legs and crawled into bed. It somehow felt safer there, like the blankets could somehow protect me from even an unearthly being. “What am I going to do, Felix? I can’t get help from the police. They’ll think I’m insane. I can’t tell Joy. I can’t even tell my parents how their daughter died. I’m stuck.”
“I know what you can do. You can do just what he says.”
“
Go back!?”
I was scandalized by the thought. “But that’s just playing into his hands! It’s obviously some kind of trap, though I don’t know what he wants from me.”
“Exactly,” Felix continued. “But if you don’t go and uproot the cause of this problem, it will only continue to grow. Nothing gets solved by simply ignoring it and hoping that it will just disappear. And no one can fix it for you.”
“But it’s dangerous. I could lose my mind or lose control again,” I mumbled in a pointless argument.
“Or you could hide in here forever, fearing for your life while it waits outside your window,” Felix said, flipping over his paw in an uncannily human gesture.
“But—”
“Others might be harmed, too. What about that friend of yours, Sarah? Would you endanger her too? Would you want her to meet the same fate as Lea?” Felix’s voice was meek, but it was enough to stir me. No. No, I couldn’t put Joy in danger. Not Joy, who had been so kind when things had grown so bleak. She was near to me, too. If the familiar was stalking me, then he could easily get to her. I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to Joy—I couldn’t lose another person I cared about.
“And you think this Poe guy will know what to do? You think it might even be
his
familiar?” I tested the waters.
“It’s a strong possibility. I don’t think Arthur was lying to you.”
I sat up in my bed, looking at both of my hands as I considered what choice to make. I thought it over for several long moments, then reached my decision.
“You’re right. We’ve got to find out what he wants. I can’t just stay here. I won’t let this become my prison. But if I make you promise me something, then you
have
to do it, right?” I asked, feeling quite grave.
“If you make a pact with me, I must obey your every command by the laws of my being. For now, if you give me a gift of food, I shall have to follow your commands for a short while. You’ll have more than enough time if you issue them now,” Felix told me, and I took a deep breath. Once I said it, there was no going back.
“If I’m about to lose my mind there, in Unreal City—if you know for sure that there will be no hope for me, I want you to promise me that you’ll kill me. You’ll kill me here in this world.”
Felix smiled. “I promise.”
THE SCISSORS CLIPPED
and another lock of my hair came loose. I offered it to Felix, who ate it off my hand with gusto. It must’ve tasted like a steak dinner to him.
My familiar ordered me to wait, then leapt out the open window. I shut it after he left, frightened that something else might get in during his absence, and opened it again when I heard his claws scratching with squeaks against the glass. He’d returned with that pretty little box that always seemed to disappear by the time I awoke from the fantastical dream. I opened it with caution, and instantly that irresistible smell and the memory of the ambrosial taste hit me. I plucked the petit four from the box and took a deep breath. This could be the last moments of this life as I knew it. An urge to text Joy a goodbye occurred to me, but I knew I couldn’t do that—no matter how much it would comfort me. So instead I sent:
Joy, you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me. I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done.
The text found its home, and a sense of finality rose within me. Bracing myself for what was to come, I turned back to the box and devoured the cake in a single bite. No matter how many times I ate it, it was always like tasting that flavor for the very first time. The wonderful poison covered my tongue, and I lay down on Lea’s bed as I chewed, waiting for my spirit to leave this world behind for greener pastures.