Unrequited (Fallen Aces MC #1) (27 page)

And he tells me that the search ends with me—that we’ll be together until we’re old and laughing because we’ve misheard what the other one’s saying.

I can’t think of anything more perfect. We’ll be past our prime, unable to move our bodies the way we are now, but I’ve never wanted that so badly in my life—to just
be
with someone.

“I love you so much.” I run my fingers through his hair as I say it, my body rocking slowly with each thrust of his hips.

“You know I love you too, baby.” His head dips as he takes a nipple in his mouth and swirls his tongue around the tip.

I sigh and close my eyes, my hands still holding his head as he shifts to repeat the action with the other nipple.

There’s no urgency, only meaning.

No wants, only needs.

We need this.

I
need this.

THIRTY-NINE

Elena

“Shouldn’t we just go?” I frown at the way he tries to ignore me, watching the driveway intently for the Escalade.

We talked about our baby, discussed how I’ll keep it hidden for a while longer. King asked what names I like, and lay beside me as he stroked the tiny bump, his glassy eyes showing he was far away from me, lost in his thoughts.

“I can’t take you with me today, Elena. I already said that.”

And yet, like a fool, I hoped he’d change his mind after sharing such an intimate moment with me, discussing the future for the life I hold inside. “Why not?”

“Just sit, please.” He pats the raised garden wall he’s leaning on.

“I don’t feel like sitting.” I want to curl up and become a part of the harsh concrete underfoot.

The clouds block the sun, giving what’s shaping up to be just another bad memory the perfect setting. I turn away and fist my hands, setting my jaw firm. I don’t want to cry. I’m not sad.

I’m angry.

“Do I not mean enough to you?”

“You mean the fuckin’ world.” He rises to his feet, closing the space between us. “Baby, don’t cry.”

I grab hold of his T-shirt and bury my face in it, startled by the dire need I have to just hold him when he’s the very thing making me so mad. “Why won’t you take me, then?”

“I told you. Things are complicated at the club.”

“Fuck your club!” I scream, taking a step back. “I’m not asking your club, I’m asking you.”

“If you can’t understand how things work, then don’t blame that on me.” He lifts a pleading hand, taking a step closer.

“No,” I growl. “I’m not to blame here. I’ve been patient. I’ve lived in
hell
waiting for you.”

He tries to make a grab for me, but I back away. “I know your hormones are making you emotional, but—”

He did
not
just go there.
“Excuse me?”

“Fuck.” He realizes his mistake, and drags a hand over his head to ruffle his long hair. “Don’t fight, okay? I don’t want to leave you like this.”

“I don’t either.” My anger subsides when I think about this being the last memory we have to hold on to until we see each other again. “I’m confused, King.” I give in and cry. Maybe my hormones are wreaking havoc.

“Hey,” he soothes, pulling me to him and running a hand over my hair. “Shh.”

“You said you wanted me.”

“And fuck, I do. Jesus, Elena. I’d have you forever twice over.”

“So why won’t you take me away from here?” I pull back and pound his solid chest with my fists. “Why won’t you take me with you if you want me? And don’t you dare say your club.”

“Because I can’t,” he growls, clutching my fists. “Damn it, I want to throw you over my shoulder and take you to see what I’ve been doing without you these past few months. Trust me, everything I’ve been doing has been for you and me, and when you see it”—he sighs—“you’re gonna fuckin’ love it.”

“So show me now.”

“I can’t.” His brow pulls tight, and he closes his eyes. “There’s things going on at the club that would be jeopardized if I took you away from Carlos right now.”

“I can’t take all this back and forth,” I say, shaking my head. “One minute you want me, the next you want to leave me.”

“You’re not the only one strugglin’ with it.” He steps forward and cups my face. “I fuckin’ love you, Elena. Just remember that.”

I knit my fists in his T-shirt, pulling him closer to me as we kiss. His taste fires my dormant desire, and regret at not being able to leave with him today pulls me under. I lean back, wiping under my eyes with the heel of my hand.

“Take me with you anyway,” I beg. “We’ll work it out.”

“I take you with me today, and not only do we have your husband gunnin’ for us, but my club—my brothers—will be lookin’ to strip my colors and fuckin’ teach me a lesson.”

“So we run farther,” I say, tugging on his shirt again. “We go far away.”

He snatches my wrists in his grip, shaking me gently. “
Listen
to me. We can’t, Elena. I won’t spend a life on the run with you. You deserve more.” He drops one of my wrists to place his hand on my stomach. “
We
deserve more.”

I drop my forehead on his chest, frustrated and defeated. “Tell me how perfect it’ll be if I wait, then. Tell me what your plan is.”

“I will when the time is right.” He reaches behind him and pulls out a small cell from the back pocket of his jeans. “Take this.” His fingers curl over mine, putting it firmly in my grasp. “Sully told me yours got taken.”

I knew it.
I nod, my hands shaking around the phone. “After Carlos found out about us. It’s why I couldn’t call you.”

“Fuck.” King frowns, running his palm over the side of my face. “I thought you were just angry at me. I thought you’d given up.”

“Never.” I lift my eyes to his.

“I don’t want you to go just yet.” He leans forward and rests his chin on my head, wrapping me inside his solid arms. “Wish we had more time.”

I link my arms about his waist, locking my hands at the small of his back. “Don’t make me go, then.”

“We’ve got to do this right, otherwise a lot of innocent people will get hurt. Could you live with that?” He pulls back to look at me, his arms still locked tight. “I couldn’t.”

His heart is too large for a man of a life such as his. It’ll surely kill him, the empathy he carries on his shoulders. “No. I couldn’t.” My thoughts drift to Maria. Even Sully.

His gaze shifts over my shoulder before he leans down and closes his lips over mine. I open my mouth, giving his tongue access, and cry as he kisses me with so much passion yet pain that I feel I’ll surely break. His thumbs stroke the apple of my cheeks as he dots little kisses on my nose and pulls back.

He’s got tears in his eyes.
“Time to go, baby.”

Gentle yet strong arms take me in their hold from behind. “Come on, Elena.”

The realization drives a stake through my chest. King’s kiss was a kiss goodbye. He’s handing me over, letting me go for good. ‘
I can’t take you with me.’

“How long until I see you again?” I beg for the answer.

He shrugs, slipping his sunglasses on to cover his eyes. “I can’t promise anythin’, Elena. I won’t lie; it could be a while.”

“You can’t do this,” I yell. “You can’t just walk away. What about our baby? You going to abandon them, too?” I try to pull out of Sully’s grasp, but it’s fruitless.

King steps toward me, so close, but still out of reach. “You know I’m doing this for both of you. I’m doing what’s right, Elena. Running with me is going to always put you in danger, and until I can fuckin’ change that, I don’t want to risk gettin’ you hurt, or worse, killed.”

“You can’t leave me,” I scream.

“I have to.” He runs a hand over his mouth and beard, and then turns away, walking toward his bike.

“You fucking lied to me,” I wail. “You said this wasn’t all we’d have.”

He hesitates, his back still to me, and his head hung. “I didn’t lie, Elena. I told you what I want to believe.” He closes the distance to his bike, and throws his leg over.

“Don’t go.” My moaned plea falls on deaf ears. I groan and sag into Sully’s hold before wrenching toward King again, forcing Sully to stumble forwards. “King!”

“Elena,” Maria softly says from beside me as King starts his bike. “It’s time to leave.”

I drop to the ground, still in Sully’s hold, the smashing of my breaking heart the only thing I can hear as King kicks the stand up, and rides away.

FORTY

King

two weeks later

I sink myself into that fucking house. Mom and Dad come down to the section periodically to check on me, bringing me food and water as I work my hands to the bone. I wear a headlamp when it gets dark, and sleep in the cool hours between midnight and dawn. After a week, the blisters on my hands went hard, and new callouses form. I smash out every frustration into each and every fucking one of the nails holding the framing together.

“Lloyd?”

I look down at Mom from where I straddle the top of a wall.

“You need a rest, honey.”

“I’m almost finished with the first level,” I say, pointing to the structure with my hammer.

“You need a rest,” she repeats. “Come down.”

The sweat runs in a line down my back into my jeans as I give in and climb off the frame, hanging by my hands before I drop to the floor below with a thud. My boots feel slimy from all the sweat that’s run into them while I’ve been working. The sun’s been out most days, and my skin’s turned a rich tan.

“Come up to the house for a bit.” Mom hands me a bottle of water and frowns. ”Your father’s worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” I say, taking the top off the bottle and downing half in four big pulls. “I’m keepin’ busy.”

“Why?” she asks quietly.

“What do you mean?” I frown at her, wiping the sweat off my face with the T-shirt tucked in my back pocket.

“You’re avoiding something.” She ducks her chin, giving me her ‘Mom’ look from under her brows.

My nose twitches. “No, I’m not.”

She lifts a single eyebrow, and I lose it. My nostrils flare and I spin away, taking half a dozen steps down the slope to get away from her.

“Lloyd.” The grass swishes under her feet. “Talk to me.”

I stab the heels of my hand into my eyes, pushing the tears back in. “I failed, Mom.”

“At what?”

“Life,” I shout. “I fucked everything up.”

She stands beside me, silent, waiting for me to explain.

“I fell in love, I got her pregnant, and I fucking walked away.”

“Why?” Mom whispers. “That doesn’t sound like something you’d do.”

Fuck—even my mother doesn’t know who I am anymore. “It is,” I say with a bitter laugh. “That’s the asshole your boy is now.”

“You didn’t answer me,” she says, removing the water bottle I’m slowly crushing in my hand. “Why?”

“The club,” I murmur, dropping my head. “It was her or the club.”

“Lloyd . . .” She wraps her arms around me, giving me what I don’t have for myself anymore—love.

“What do I do to make it right, Mom?”

“You tell that woman you’ve been a fool.” She pulls back, her hands still on my elbows. “You still love her?”

I roll my eyes. “Of course. I’m building a fuckin’ house, ain’t I?”

She chuckles, looking at the start of the home I’m making for Elena. “Yes, you are.” Her gaze returns to mine as she gently shakes my arms. “Do what you feel is right.”

“That’s my problem,” I say. “Both answers feel right.”

“So pick the one that comes naturally.”

I nod, giving her a one-armed hug. “I’ll work it out, Mom.”

“Good. I’m giving you an hour, and then I want you up at the house to shower.” She pulls back and screws her nose up. “You stink.”

The sun catches the grays in her hair as she walks across the paddock and hops on the quad bike to return to the homestead. I told her I’d sort it out to try and stop her worrying.

The truth? I don’t think I can.

I think it’s too late.

FORTY-ONE

King

Tomorrow’s the big one—the grand finale. The call came in to check I was ready to go while I was in the shower at Mom and Dad’s. I rang Twig right back and headed straight to the clubhouse to get the run down.

Couldn’t fucking believe my ears when he told me what Carlos is having us do. We’re moving people—children, to be exact.

Fucking children.

Apex sought reassurance they weren’t to be harmed, not wanting a repeat of our first run, and not only did he get it, but he was given a ‘good faith’ payment from Carlos. Ten percent up front; twenty grand in the back pocket before we’ve so much as stomped a foot on the kick-starter.

Leaves me suspicious of the whole deal. Twig’s concerns, which echoed mine, were tabled, and rules were set in place. The kids are to be treated as if they’re our own, and if we feel their lives are threatened or in any danger at their delivery points, we have rights to refusal.

Six kids, and three different drop-off points.

The co-ordinates were checked and each is in a residential area. The details make it look as if we’re taking these kids home, but nothing is that simple or harmless when it comes to Carlos.

I’ve learnt that pretty fast about the guy.

I stand up from where I’ve been slumped against the wall watching the party go down and head toward the deck for a smoke. We’ve got a new prospect, and right now the poor son-of-a-bitch has a beer bong stuck in his mouth and our two barmaids for the night are filling it as fast as he can drink it—topless. Gunner slaps one of them on the ass and heads over when he sees me passing by. Tossing an arm around my shoulders, he shoves a full beer bottle in my hand.

“You look like you’re not enjoin’ yourself.”

“Little preoccupied with somethin’, to be honest.”

“Also look like you’ve been gettin’ a bit of sun of late.” He looks over my face with narrowed eyes.

“Been helpin’ at the farm.”

He nods and guides us over to a table. “What’s botherin’ you then?”

I look around at the other somber members spread out over the common room as we take a seat. The run’s important enough that a few of the Fort Worth chapter have ridden in to help. “It’s just this job tomorrow. I don’t have a good feelin’ about it.”

He nods. “Yeah. I know.”

“You think we’re doin’ the right thing here, takin’ the work?” I put a feeler out to gauge his reaction, to see if he’d be the kind of person to support Apex or not.

“I don’t think we have a choice.”

Great. He’s neutral. I’ve got no idea if he’s in on these extra deals or not. “Wonder if we could get more, you know? Really fatten up the bank account.”

Gunner eyes me cautiously. “What the fuck would you want to do that for?”

So he’s not a supporter.
“I wouldn’t. It was just an idea.”

“A fuckin’ stupid one,” he says, taking a swig. “Keep that kind of bullshit locked away.” Gunner places his drink on the edge of the table and reaches into his pocket to pull out a joint. “You’ve got too much potential to be ruinin’ your rep with crazy fuckin’ ideas.”

“Didn’t think it was that crazy.”

“It puts the club at risk, and what’s rule number one on the fuckin’ charter, King?”

“The club always comes first.”

“Exactly. And so far . . .” Gunner chuckles, picking up his bottle, “you’ve managed to do that. Makes me think you’ll go far ’round here.”

He believes in me, too.
Seems I’m making a good impression all ’round. I would say it makes me think I did the right thing walking away from Elena, but the jury’s still out on that one. My heart screams at me for even thinking it.

“Who you ridin’ with tomorrow?” A change of subject would be good before this gets too awkward.

“Callum. You?”

“Twig.”

“Mmm.” Gunner takes a long pull from his bottle. “And Judas is riding out with one of his boys with the other two kids, hey?”

“So I heard.” I down the neck of the beer in my hand for courage and ask, “Why isn’t Apex goin’?”

“Didn’t say. He just wanted to sit this one out.”

“You think he’s got a bad feelin’ about it, too?”

“Possibly.” He raises his beer in a toast to a brunette as she wiggles her fingers in a coy wave. “There ain’t anything right about pickin’ up six kids from a fuckin’ shipping yard.”

“None at all.”

Where have these kids been? What has Carlos, or his associates for that matter, had them up to? Kids. Who the fuck uses kids for their illegal shit?

Dirty fucks like Carlos do.
Even more reason why I’ve got to speed things up and figure out how I’m going to get Elena out without causing a war; there’s no way I’m having a guy who uses kids in the drug trade have a hand in raising mine.

I tap the table before us and push my seat out to stand. “Thanks, Gun.”

“What for?”

“For remindin’ me I’m not crazy to think we’re fuckin’ ourselves over with this one.”

He doesn’t say anything, simply tips his bottle my way with a smile as I leave. Callum stops me on my way out to the garage. I cringe inside; he got patched in a few weeks back, and I was so wrapped up in my own issues I never celebrated with him.

“Where you goin’?” He waves his hand toward two blondes in tiny black dresses who sit on one of the sofas, seemingly waiting for him. “Wanna share?”

I give him a pat on the chest and shake my head. “Maybe next time, brother.”

He shrugs and drops on to the sofa between the women. “Your loss.”

I chuckle and step through to the garage, bee-lining for my bike and swinging my leg over. The engine starts with a roar, and I note before I pull out that Apex’s spot is empty.

Interesting.

The gate rolls open, and for the first time since joining the Fallen Aces, I feel
relieved
to be putting the clubhouse behind me. I’ve got myself a house to build if things are going to shape up how I hope, and it’s not going to happen if I’m sitting around at the compound dreaming about it.

Be the change.