Unrestrained (28 page)

“But . . . what does that give you?”

“I’ve told you.” He chuckled, but it was a grim sound. “It gives me everything, sweetheart. That’s the way I’m made. When you surrender, when you look at me with that dazzling, mindless trust in your expression, when I feel how you hand over every part of yourself to me, and you accept pleasure and pain at my hand . . . That’s like a drug to me. And I
do
like the service side of you. I like it when you make me a sandwich and sit at my feet in that thin, pretty robe of yours, or nothing at all, so I can enjoy looking at what’s mine. I want to own you, Athena. That’s my drug as well.

“You’re a confident, independent woman, a remarkable person, and I respect all of that. But when you’re sitting at my feet, I fucking love the feeling that you’re my property. To protect and cherish, to fuck when I want. I know you get hot and bothered, thinking about it like that, too. There’s nothing PC about it, but we both get off on it, right?”

She nodded. She was getting hot and bothered right now, hearing the words come from his distracting mouth.

“But because of what we both bring to the table—my leg, your husband—it’s a fine line. I don’t mind you caring about me, wanting to help me, any more than I expect you to mind me wanting to do the same for you. But . . . Roy sounds like a great guy, so don’t take this the wrong way. I don’t need to be handled like him, and when you get uptight about all this, you go into that mode. That’s not the way it works for you and me. Understand?”

“I think so. I don’t know. I still have trouble with that part.” She let out an unhappy sigh, pushing her hair away from her face.

“That’s the biggest step in letting go.” He touched her cheek. “You have to decide you’re ready to let go of one relationship and move into another. You keep straddling that fence. I don’t mind it, much, because I understand how hard that is, but at some point you have to choose, Athena. Or I’ll walk. That’s not an ultimatum to push you. I just don’t want to settle for less.”

Hadn’t she recoiled from that word herself?
Settle.
The success of her marriage, the failure of his, had brought them to the same point, the same resolve. “So what does that mean to you?” she asked. “How will it look and feel to you, if I’ve made that choice?”

“You’ll know when I know,” he said. “I won’t be able to lead you to that, Athena. But when it happens, we’ll both know you’ve given me everything, and not just when I have you tied up and you’re lost in subspace. When and if it happens,” he added gently, “it doesn’t mean you don’t love your husband. It means you understand you’re still alive, and moving forward. Which I think Roy wanted, if he’s the type of guy you described. I know if you were mine and I died, I’d want you to be in good hands, loving hands. I wouldn’t want you to be alone in this world. In fact, no offense to Roy, but screw that.
I
don’t want you alone in this world. You’re becoming important to me, Athena, in a way that might get a little scary to you, because I don’t do things halfway once I’m sure of myself, and I’m a pretty decisive guy.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” The corner of her mouth tipped up. “You seem to waffle over the littlest things. It’s tedious and annoying.”

He ruffled her hair. “Be careful, woman. You get too mouthy and I have ways of dealing with that.”

She smiled. They sat silently for a few moments before she spoke again. “The aggravating thing is, I’m
really
good at this kind of stuff, the fund-raising and such. I just keep sabotaging it by offering it the wrong way, at the wrong times. Despite that, I hope you’ll let me help. It doesn’t have to be me trying to control things.”

“You didn’t ruin anything. The ideas are good ones. I trust you to help with that, when I ask for it. I just . . . I know that what you’re saying would help, but I am
not
this missing leg.” His jaw got that rock-hard look to it again, his eyes flashing. “Maybe it’s selfish of me, but even for a good cause, I won’t exploit it. Not when other guys came home in body bags, leaving widows and kids without dads, and I’m the lucky bastard who gets to still be here. You understand?”

She did, and it matched everything she already knew about him. It also gave her a twist of guilt and self-reflection. So much of what she’d done for Roy had been tailoring herself to his needs. At some point, had she’d stopped seeing Roy, the whole man, and instead defined him by the things he needed from her? Dale was very much his own man, and from his behavior yesterday with the kids, and even now, talking about it, she knew he was telling her the truth. He respected who and what she was. But he wouldn’t allow it to adversely direct what they were becoming together. There was a relief in that, if she would accept it. She didn’t have to run the show.

She saw that, but she also wasn’t going to dump all that responsibility on him. She had to learn how to deal with uncertainty in their relationship better. Once she managed that, there were ways their roads could cross, intertwine, help one another. How a relationship was supposed to evolve.

She nodded, but she should have known he’d seen deeper than that. “Now that we’ve dealt with that,” he said, “what was this about this morning? You were out of sorts. What was going on?”

“I can’t really talk about it right now. Or rather . . . I wish we wouldn’t. Can we talk about it at another time?”

He gave her a thorough look, one that made her cheeks flush a little, her eyes lower. She knew it was somewhat cowardly, but it was too much for one day. Her shoulders eased when he sighed. “All right. But we’re going to have to talk about it more at some point. You don’t get out of it forever.”

She shook her head. “I’m sorry I interrupted our breakfast.”

“Well, if you’re really sorry, you’ll run your pretty ass back up to the apartment and bring it back here. We can finish eating in these lovely surroundings.” He nodded to the chain-link fence, the junk cars around them. “Best view in the city.”

“I’ll be back in a few moments.” She smiled, but paused. “Can I do anything, for your leg?”

When he gave her his look, she met his squarely. “I want to help, Master. Please let me help.”

“You’re relentless.” He gave her a look of wry exasperation though, making her feel better. “You are helping. It’s hurting like a son of a bitch this morning. If you bring my breakfast back here, that will give it a break.”

“If you want, you could take off the prosthesis and I could bring your crutches.” She held her breath, anticipating a growl, but he lifted a shoulder.

“I may take it off when I get back to the apartment, but for now all I want is my breakfast. And your company. Those boys wore me out.”

“You and me both. I felt stiff as an old woman when I got out of my chair this morning.”

His brow lifted. “You slept in your reading room. Did you fall asleep reading?”

She shook her head. “No . . . I had trouble sleeping. I went down there in the middle of the night, stayed there until morning.”

“Athena . . .”

“You promised,” she said, backpedaling toward the apartment.

His gaze narrowed. “I may not be able to run as fast as you, but the dogs are trained to bring SUVs to a halt. One small contrary woman is no problem at all.”

She chuckled at the threat. Even so, she felt his eyes following her as she retreated. He wouldn’t let it go, she knew. He was as relentless as he accused her of being. But one issue per morning was enough. He was right; there was a fine line of power between the two of them, and she wasn’t entirely easy with how to reconcile them yet.

As she reached the apartment, her phone signaled an incoming text.

Look in the top drawer of my nightstand. I bought you a gift. Put it on before you come back.

When she went to the drawer and saw what it was, her eyes widened. Given the emotional turmoil of the past few moments, she wasn’t sure if she was up to anything sexual, but her body seemed to have different ideas after seeing his gift. He wasn’t here to argue with, anyway, and she wasn’t going to debate it over a text screen. With only another brief hesitation, she shimmied out of her panties to step into the straps and position the clit stimulator in its appropriate place. It was shaped like a butterfly, the body pressing against the insides of her labia, the antennae and shaped head snug against her clit. The controls were on the side. He hadn’t said to turn it on, but just placing it against her body made it respond. When her phone buzzed again, her cheeks were pink and heated, much like the flesh between her legs.

Where’s my food, woman? I’m getting hungry.

It would have made her laugh if she wasn’t feeling like a rubber band, stretched between the earlier argument and now this. She put her panties on over the device, then packed the breakfast back in the basket. She transferred their juice into the covered cups that went with the picnic set. They locked into the cup holders on the sides. Nice normal tasks, while her body quivered and her mind fizzed like carbonated water.

Going down the stairs and walking back through the junkyard was an entirely different experience. The stimulator teased the petals of her sex and her clitoris as she walked. It altered her focus, and though she was still unsettled, the unbalanced feeling wasn’t unwelcome at all. When she came into his view, the way his intent gaze logged everything only sharpened her response. Her nipples were tight against her bra, the flesh between her legs now slippery.

She put the basket down in front of him and he lifted a hand, keeping her on her feet. “Give me your panties.”

Fingers still twitchy, she slid them off, handed them to him. He closed his hand over her wrist, ran a thumb over her wrist pulse. Then he nodded to a Lincoln Town Car about ten paces away. “Go and bend over the trunk. Tuck your skirt up into the waistband so I can see that butterfly and your gorgeous ass.”

His look was direct, his tone uncompromising. He was settling all the debris of the morning in a way all her rationalizing seemed incapable of doing. She moved toward the Lincoln, gathering up her skirt.

“Actually, just get rid of it. I want you naked from the waist down. If I had my way, I’d keep you naked all the time.”

She imagined Dale sitting at her dining room table, her kneeling naked next to him as he ate his meal, seemingly detached yet so aware of her being there, waiting on his desires while her own overflowed. Hour after hour of being accessible to his every demand. Her pussy became even wetter.

She stepped out of the skirt, set it aside, and then put her elbows on the trunk. Bracing her legs shoulder-width apart, she lifted her ass and was rewarded with a blast of heat from his gaze when she dared a look over her shoulder.

“Little tease. Hook your fingers in the edge below the rear window. I want you stretched out over the trunk, your hips pressed to the back bumper. Legs spread wider so you feel that clit stimulator tight against you.”

As she did it, she heard him rise. He’d taken away her ability to look over her shoulder in the elongated position, which she was sure was his intent. He ran his hand down her back, over her backside, checking the straps holding the butterfly against her. He slid his fingers beneath her, verifying it was firmly in place, making her shiver again.

“You stay like this unless you get physically uncomfortable, and then you tell me what’s going on. If I ask you a question, you answer it, no matter what else is going on. Got it?”

“Yes sir.”

His firm swat left a tingling print on her buttock. “I don’t think
sir
is going to cut it today.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Better.” He put his hand between her legs again, and the stimulator began to hum against her clit and labia. She caught her lip between her teeth as he made some other adjustments. With her own vibrator, she usually focused on the clit, the hard and fast climax that direct contact could deliver. This stimulator proved how responsive the slick inner walls of her labia were, those nerve endings building toward the same end, only with a slower, fiercely sweet build that made her shudder in the restrained position he’d imposed.

“The longer it’s on, the more the intensity will increase. Eventually it goes back to the original setting and starts over again. Since it divides its time between clit and labia, and I can adjust it so the antenna also tweaks you under your clit hood, I can spend the whole morning watching you go fucking mindless, Athena, your cunt gushing over and over. All while eating this great breakfast you made me.”

He gave her another stinging slap, then moved back to the couch. She couldn’t see him from where she was, and the angle of the window provided no reflection. But she could hear him taking a seat behind her to eat his breakfast and stare at her naked, exposed body. Her legs were already shaking, responding to the stimulation of the vibrator.

“So what did you do in the middle of the night? Read a book?”

She nodded, then remembered. “Yes, Master.”

“Tell me about it.” He was eating, because he sounded a little muffled. “Title, what it’s about.”

The man was a sadist. He’d likely endured interrogation torture as part of SEAL training, but he was no slouch at administering it. As she became more and more aroused, he demanded detailed answers about the book, her job, her childhood, the fucking weather. The intensity of the vibration grew, just as he’d predicted. She started pressing against the bumper in a coital rhythm, rotating her hips, unable to resist the stroke of that stimulator.

“That’s nice,” he said, his voice husky with heat. “Keep doing that. Lift your ass, show me that my girl wants to be fucked by her Master. Beg for it with your hot little body.”

Her nipples were stiff points against the trunk lid, her fingers in a death grip on that edge. “Dale . . . Master . . .”

Roy had told her men liked food, beer and fucking.
Combine all those things? Heaven on earth.
She should have brought Dale a beer.

The orgasm was too close. “I’m going . . . to come.”

“Yes, you are. Try to fight it, girl. I want to see you fight and lose.”

She did her best, but the stimulator won without much of a contest, her body too revved and eager. She screamed out her pleasure, working her hips against the metal, feeling the sun’s heat on her back, in the steel she gripped, but it wasn’t yet so hot she couldn’t bear it. When she came down, she was jerking, because of course the stimulator changed settings on its own schedule, and for a few excruciating moments it was on the same accelerated intensity. She let out a relieved sound when it at last settled down to the original hum. Even that was almost too much, but Dale didn’t seem inclined to stop the device.