Unspeakable Truths (16 page)

“Ev what did you do?” It comes out as more of a warning than it does a question.

“I kissed him…”

“That’s awesome,” she squeals.

“It would have been awesome if I hadn’t have pushed him away and freaked out.”

“You didn’t?”

“I did. I told him it was all wrong, and I tried to apologize, but he lost it and stormed out of my house. I haven’t spoken to him since.”

“Have you reached out to him?”

“Yeah, I’ve called and texted but nothing. He’s avoiding me at work, and I’m not about to cause a scene there so…Done.”

“Sooo not done. You bruised his ego, give him some time to get over it.”

“You think?” I ask, more hopefully than I want to sound.

“Yup.”

“Everly? Morgan?”

I look over my shoulder to see Janine standing there, looking at Morgan and I in awe. Janine was one of my best friends, one of my bridesmaids, and when Tyler died and I shut down, she tried to reach me a few times but she eventually gave up. Actually she was the first of my friends to give up. Morgan being the only one who
never
gave up.

“Hey Janine.”

“Hi Janine.” We both greet in unison.

“Gosh it’s great to see you girls, especially you Everly. I haven’t seen you in years.”

I plaster a smile on my face. “It’s good to see you too. You look great.”

“Well thanks, you look great too. I ran into Luca the other day and I was telling him how worried I was about you.”

This gets my immediate attention. “You ran into Luca?”

“Yeah, Oh wait… Don’t tell me you still hate him do you?”

“Everly doesn’t hate anyone Janine, she’s not like that,” Morgan pipes in.

Janine rolls her eyes in Morgan’s direction and then comes back to me. “Well that’s good, that boy is hot. We had a few drinks, hoofed it over to my place and let me tell you, the things that boy can do with his tongue.”

I’m taken aback by her words. She’s all but admitted to me that she and Luca hooked up. “I’m sorry, will you excuse me. I don’t feel so well.”

“Oh hon are you alright?” She couldn’t be any faker if she tried.

“Yeah, sorry, too many drinks, not enough food,” I say before hopping off the stool and rushing to the bathroom. Morgan is hot on my trail.

“Everly, don’t freak out. You don’t know that anything happened, Janine is a liar, and she always has been.”

“I know,” I reply, running the cold water and splashing my face. “I shouldn’t even care.”

“You like him, of course you care.”

“How can you hate someone for so many years then like them all of a sudden? Is that even possible?” I question, as I grip the sink and lean down on it.

“There’s a fine line between love and hate.”

“Can we get out of here?” I ask, looking up at her.

“Sure, I paid the bill and grabbed your purse. We can leave through the back entrance.”

“Thanks, I’ll pay you back for my stuff.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

We leave the bar and walk down the street to my law firm’s parking lot where we left our cars. We say our goodbyes and I promise her that I’ll give her a call this weekend. I watch her go and when I’m sure she’s gone, I use my key to get back into the office. I head to filing cabinet where they keep all of the employee’s personal information and I pull Luca’s folder. I sift through until I find his address, jot it down on a Post-it note and get the hell out of there.

I’ve lost my mind, I’m almost positive that I’ve gone completely postal but here I am, sitting in my car outside of Luca’s apartment for the past twenty minutes trying to build up the nerve to go in. All of the lights are off and his car is out front which means he’s likely sleeping. This is a really bad, really stupid idea. I move to turn the ignition back on in my car telling myself that I should just leave and then I think about how Janine all but admitted that she had sex with Luca, I think about how he walked out on me for not going any further than a kiss when clearly he’s not lacking for attention and I think about how he’s ignored me for five days, and I’m suddenly infuriated.

I angle out of the car, jog up his front steps and ring the doorbell. I wait about ten seconds before ringing it again, and again, and for good measure, again. I see a light go on in the upstairs window and then I hear footfalls and what I’m pretty sure are curse words. The door flies open and I’m met by Luca’s angry glare but I can’t focus on that—my eyes have traveled down to his bare chest. I assumed he had nice abs from the fit of his clothing, but I had no idea how perfect they really were. And the sexiest pair of pajama bottoms I’ve ever seen sit low on his hips. Jesus, why did he have to open up the door shirtless?

“Everly what the fuck?”

The boom of his angry voice snaps me out of my haze and helps me to remember why I’m here. I use all the force I can muster up, place both hands on his chest and shove him back. This allows me just enough room to slip past him and once I do I run up the staircase. I hear his heavy sigh and the door slamming followed by footsteps. I can sense him when he’s right behind me, can feel his anger in the air like it has a physical presence. I turn to face him, place my hands on my hips and glare at him.

His eyes are trained on the ground seemingly trying to regain his patience, when he looks up again I can tell it didn’t do any good, he looks just as angry. “Would you like to explain to me what the hell you’re doing here?”

“I. Hate. You.” I declare through clenched teeth.

“What else is new? You’re not my favorite person either did you really have to come here after midnight to tell me this?”

“You slept with Janine!” I yell the accusation not caring if every person in a five mile radius can hear me.

His eyes narrow and flash with anger, and I can feel my heart hammering in my chest because he looks seriously pissed right now. His voice rumbles when he finally speaks. “What?”

I don’t know if I’m stupid or just crazy but I straighten my spine, square my shoulders, tilt my head to the side and lock my eyes on his. “I said You. Slept. With. Janine.”

“Who told you that?” I can sense that he’s fighting for control, trying not to blow up on me.

“Morgan and I ran into Janine tonight. She was all too happy to fill us in. In fact she was singing your praises,” I say in a whiny voice that a five-year-old would use to show their anger.

“Really?” He questions suddenly looking like he’s enjoying this showdown. He crosses his arms over his chest and grins. “Why do you care if I slept with Janine?”

“Because you’re not supposed to date my friends, you’re especially not supposed to sleep with my friends; there’s a code, there are rules that you’re supposed to stick to.”

He gives me a slow nod, before ripping my theory to shreds. “Those rules would only apply if you were my girlfriend. You
are not
my girlfriend, and you have never been my girlfriend. There is no code where we’re concerned because the way we left it off pretty much says that we are nothing to each other.”

His words hurt and I have no right to feel that way but none of this makes sense anyway so I carry on. “I never said that, I’ve been trying to talk to you for days,” I yell throwing out my hands.

“What is there to say? You are not ready, and you will never be ready to move on.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is.”

“No.”

“Yes. Yes. Everly, you refuse to let go.” His hands are clenched at his side. He’s angry at me, I get it, but this is going nowhere.

“I’m trying. I’m trying to let go, but I’m scared.” I admit, doing my best to keep the tears away.

“What the hell could you possibly have to be scared of at this point?”

“This,” I say motioning between him and me. “This thing with you. It terrifies me.”

“Why?”

“Because for the first time in so long I wanted someone else. Someone other than him.” It’s as honest as I can possibly be with him. It’s as honest as I’ve been with myself through all of this.

He stalks over to me and reaches out for my hand, but I pull away. “No,” I say, turning away from him. “You slept with Janine.”

He comes up behind me, pressing his chest to my back, his head rests on my shoulder, and his lips are close to my ear. I shudder at the feel of his breath on me. “You don’t get to tell me it’s wrong to be with someone else, because I’m not yours.”

My body goes rigid, and I jerk my shoulder to get him off of me. Once I’m free, I whirl around, getting in his face. After what I’ve just admitted this is what he says to me? This is his attempt at smoothing things over? “You like this don’t you? You get some sick satisfaction from messing with my head?”

There’s a gleam in his eyes letting me know that he’s absolutely enjoying this showdown “I don’t care enough about you to mess with your head.”

That’s all it takes, the next thing I know I’m lunging at him, but instead of shoving him, punching him, or clawing his fucking eyes out, my hands grasp his hair, pull him down to me, and kiss him fiercely, savagely and a little possessively. I gasp when he grips my hair with his hand and wraps his free arm around my waist locking me to him. I melt into him when he deepens the kiss, lost to what he’s making me feel, all rational thoughts left behind. I go up on my toes giving him better access and cling to him as if though my life depends on it. His hands move down my body grazing my ass, reaching the back of my thighs, and hauling me up. I wrap my legs around his hips never breaking the kiss, and the next thing I know we’re on the move. Luca is walking through a doorway and then we’re down on his bed, me on my back and him on top of me.

My hands are everywhere, desperately exploring the muscles of his back, his hips, his thighs, trying to make myself familiar with every part of him at the same time giving him permission to do the same. His hand rests on my stomach and slowly begins to slide up and underneath my shirt, his touch warming me all over. His thumb swipes at the swell of my breast making my back arch involuntarily, and a moan escapes my lips. His fingers graze my nipple causing a rush of wetness to gather between my legs. It’s never been like this before, where I so recklessly abandon all self-control, where my only focus is on maximizing the sensations, nothing else. He breaks the kiss and I cry out at the loss of him, I don’t want this to stop. He looks down at me, his face serious but the desire in his eyes is unmistakable. He wants me as much as I want him.

“Everly, I’m giving you two seconds to get up and walk out of here before I rip your clothes off and bury myself inside of you.”

His mouth is so close all I can think of is getting it on me. I suck his lower lip gently nipping at it before letting go. He needs me to reassure him of my decision, he needs to know that I want him and I have no problem giving that to him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Take your shirt off Ev. Show me that you want this.”

His voice is hypnotic, soothing, making me want to give him what he wants. Without hesitation I sit up, grabbing the hem of my shirt, and pull it over my head. His eyes focus on the black lace of my bra, just the look of him filled with lust and hunger sends a jolt of electricity through me. He runs a finger over the scalloped edges of my bra before pulling the cups down exposing my breasts to him completely. There’s no time to protest because his mouth is on me almost instantly, sucking on one breast while working the other one with his fingers, tugging and circling my nipples making me cry out in pleasure.

“Luca please,” I whimper, not recognizing my own voice. I sound desperate and needy and at the moment that’s exactly how I feel. I can’t get him close enough; every touch just leaves me wanting more.

He responds by lifting his torso up and off of me, undoing the button on my pants and tugging them down my legs leaving me in only my underwear. I reach around my back undoing the clasp on my bra and shrug it off. I’ve only been this exposed for one other person and right now all thoughts of him are blurred by the man standing in front of me.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says, eyes locked on mine.

I’m breathless now, panting for air as his hands go to the waist of his pajama pants. He has them down his legs and off before I can move and I barely make out the sound of them hitting the floor. I’m taken aback by the sight of him, his bare chest, broad shoulders, and the beautiful muscles that line his abs. My gaze travels down, and I swear I can feel my heart rate quicken. Luca is beautiful, from head to toe, completely and utterly blessed.