Until Forever (14 page)

16

Ryan

Cal texted me and invited me to lunch. I liked any excuse to see my fiancé, so naturally, I took up the offer. We played basketball together once a week at his gym, and that was always a good time. He was actually a good ball player, almost better than me. Almost.

I walked to Janice’s office then knocked. I knew she was the head honcho here, so I had to treat her like it. Otherwise, I would just barge in and act like I owned the place.

“Come in.”

I walked inside then approached her desk. She had a nice view of the city outside her window. Her dark wood desk matched bookshelves against her wall.  “Ready for lunch, baby?”

“Is that how you greet your fiancé?” She gave me attitude.

Her office was made of windows so everyone could see us. “I figured that was unprofessional.”

She stood up then grabbed the front of my shirt. She yanked me toward her then gave me a hot kiss. It made my toes curl. I moaned when her lips touched me the way I loved. She always set me on fire.

She pulled away. “What do you want to eat?”

I had to gather my thoughts and get used to the sudden loss of blood to my head. “Huh?”

She smiled. “Rocked your socks off, huh?”

I patted the desk. “Quickie?”

She chuckled. “Maybe later.”

I growled. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“I’ll make it up to you after work.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

She grabbed her purse and walked with me out of the office. “Let’s get Cal.”

I walked beside her but didn’t touch her.

“What are you doing?” she snapped.

“What?”

“Am I your fiancé or not?”

I put my arm around her. “I just assumed you didn’t want me touch you.”

“Just don’t be
nd me over and take me in the hallway and we’re good.”

That sounded like a really good idea, actually.

We reached his office.

“Ready for lunch?” Janice asked.

“Yep.” He didn’t make eye contact with us. He finished something on his computer then left his desk. “Let’s head out. How about burgers?”

“Sounds good to me,” Janice said.

Cal was different today. He seemed to be in a bad mood.

“Everything alright, man?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Again, he didn’t look at me.

We left the building then arrived at the burger joint. We ordered our food and Cal paid for us. We took turns getting the tab so this was normal for us. After we sat down, we dug into our food. I was starving so I practically inhaled it.

Janice eyed me. “When you eat like that, people assume I don’t feed you.”

Cal smiled. “He’s just got a fast metabolism.”

“And no, she doesn’t feed me enough,” I jabbed.

Janice elbowed me. “Yes, I do.”

“In her defense, I’m always distracting her by pulling her to the bedroom,” I said.

Janice glared at me. “We’re eating…”

I shrugged. “I don’t care. We have sex. You think he thought otherwise?”

She rolled her eyes then ate her fries.

Cal picked at his food but didn’t eat anything.

Janice picked up on his mood. “Everything okay with Will?”

“Yeah, we’re great.” His voice was still hollow.

“Something on your mind…?” Janice asked. “You aren’t your cheerful self.”

He sighed then looked at us. “I’m not one of those people that stick their nose in other people’s business. I keep to my self and don’t pass judgment on others.”

Where was this going?

“But…there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What?” Janice a
sked. She stopped eating.

“I feel so horrible for doing this, but my morals are pushing me to speak up.”

Now I was even more curious. “What’s up, Cal?”

“Well, you know how I told you I knew who Monnique was?”

My heart rate suddenly increased. “Yeah…”

“Will usually goes to the parties for the magazines. He takes me and we have a great time.
There’s a lot of wonderful and fun people. The other night, Monnique was there.”

Janice stared him down, holding her breath.

“I know you said she was dating a friend of yours, but I wasn’t sure how serious they were or if they were even together anymore. So I didn’t think anything of it.”

“Think anything of what?” I blurted.

“Monnique was drinking, but they started bringing cocaine. She tried a few hits.”

“Oh my god.” Janice covered her face. “I just can’t see her doing that.”

“I think it was because she was drunk,” Cal said. “That’s usually how people try it their first time.”

“I didn’t think Monnique had it in her,” I said. The news was shocking but the sky wasn’t falling. I’d tried drugs a few times. I was no saint. I was glad it wasn’t something worse. I should tell Cortland anyway.

“That isn’t the bad part,” Cal said.

Oh.

“This isn’t easy for me to say…” Cal looked down again.

I was
n’t sure if I even wanted to know at this point.

“Cortland came and got her because she passed out on the couch. Judging by the concern in his eyes and the way he took care of her, I can tell he really cares for her. And since he’s a good friend of yours, I thought I should say something.”

The anxiety was killing me. “Cal, just spill it.”

He sighed. “Monnique slept with one of the guys.”

My heart fell out of my chest. My eyes widened and I gripped the table. I couldn’t even process the words because they were so hard to swallow. Janice flinched beside me then covered her mouth, gasping quietly.

Pain like I never felt circulated through my body. All I could think about was Cortland. He had no idea she betrayed him. This was going to kill him, shatter him into pieces. He was the greatest guy I ever knew and he didn’t deserve this. This couldn’t be happening…

“Oh my god.” Janice ran her fingers through her hair, flustered.

“I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you.” Cal seemed truly apologetic. “I just thought you should know.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You did the right thing.”

He seemed sad. “In her defense, if I can even call it that, she was totally wasted. She probably had no idea what she was doing at the time. Maybe she doesn’t even remember it.”

“And you’re sure?” I asked.

“I saw them in the bathroom…there’s no room for misinterpretation.”

“Fuck.” I gripped my skull.

“I’m sorry,” Cal said. “From the short interaction I had with Cortland, he seemed like a good guy.”

“He’s the best,” I said immediately.

“Are you going to tell him?” Cal said.

That’s the last thing I wanted to do. He and Monnique finally got back together and he was happy. Now I had to drop this bomb on him. The guy could only take so much. I was getting married, Scarlet was already married, Hazel had Flynn, and he would just be alone… Why did Monnique have to be such a tramp? “I have to.”

Janice turned to me and rubbed my back. “I’m so sorry, Ryan.”

“Don’t be,” I said sadly. “Feel sorry for Cortland.”

“What are you doing here?” Scarlet asked when she opened the front door. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“I need to talk.” My voice was hollow.

Her eyes widened. “Is everything okay?”

“No.”

She grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. “Did Janice do something?”

“She and I are fine.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Sit down.”

Scarlet had a small panic attack. “Okay…” She lowered herself to the couch.

I sat beside her. “This is going to kill you, Scar. I’m not going to downplay that.”

“Is Sean okay?”

“Everyone is fine,” I said. “No one is hurt.”

“Okay…” She waited for me to tell her.

“Long story short, I found out Monnique cheated on Cortland.”

Scarlet flinched. A small explosion happened inside her eyes. Her hands fidgeted together and her breathing increased. After several minutes of silence, she found her voice. “Are you sure?”

“A hundred percent.”

She covered her face. “Shit. How did this happen?”

“She screwed some guy at a party. I guess she was drunk off her ass.”

Scarlet crossed her arms over her chest. “Does Cortland know?”

“No.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know… Maybe you should do it.”

“No,” she said firmly. “It should be you. You’re his best friend.”

I gripped my head. “God, I don’t want to do this. They’re finally back together, you know?”

“But he deserves to know.”

I leaned back and sighed. “I’m going to destroy his whole world.”

“I know…”

We sat in silence for a long time.

“I can’t believe she did that to him,” she whispered.

“Cortland has been acting weird lately. I think there’s something going on between them, and not something good.”

“You think they’ve been having problems?”

“Yeah.”

“Even if they have, that doesn’t justify cheating. If it did, I would have cheated on Sean a hundred times.”

I sighed. “How do I tell him?”

“Just be direct. Don’t soften the blow because there’s nothing that can make this situation better. Just make it clear and concise.”

I felt the anger inside me. “He doesn’t deserve this.”

“No. Definitely not.”

“Monnique is lucky I don’t hit girls.”

“But I do.”

I looked at her, surprised by the words. “What?”

“If this is true and Monnique did betray him, she better stay the hell away from me.” The menace was in her eyes. “No one messes with Cortland and gets away with it.”

“Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”

She sighed then rested her head on my shoulder. “I feel so bad for him…”

“I know. It makes me sick just thinking about it.”

“When are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know.”

“It needs to be soon, Ryan. Dragging it out isn’t going to make things easier.”

“I think I’m going to hold off on the wedding,” I said.

“Why?”

“I can’t do that to Cortland. I can
’t get married while he’s going through turmoil.”

“You can’t stop living your life for other people.”

“He’s not people. He’s my best friend.”

She rubbed my arm. “I know.”

We sat in silence for a long time, thinking about Cortland and how horrible he would feel when he knew the truth. There was no easy way for me to tell him. I couldn’t say it in a special way to minimize the pain. This would kill him. And there was nothing I could do about it.

17

Mike

I didn’t go out like I usually did. I stayed home for a few nights because I didn’t feel like mingling with other people. The alcohol suddenly felt stale, the conversations were old, and the music was too loud. I didn’t see Laura either. I guess I got tired of her. But truthfully, I kept thinking about Cassandra every time I was with her. The guilt was a mood killer.

I watched a lot of Netflix and tried cooking again. Pizza and Chinese food were starting to get old. I was quickly descended from my depressed high. I was crashing, realizing how much my life really sucked. If I were a terminal bachelor for life, this is what I would expect; an empty ap
artment, more take out menus than I could stuff into a drawer, the flashing light from the TV as I fell asleep in front of it. But there was no other alternative. I was hurt once. I couldn’t go through that again. While my life was empty and meaningless, it was better than losing everything—over and over.

My phone rang around ten. No one ever called me this late unless it was a booty call. When I looked at the screen, I expected to see Laura’s name. But I saw Cassandra’s instead. I knew I shouldn’t answer it. There was nothing to say. We’d have the same conversation over and over. But, like a weak man, I took the call.

“What?” I barked into the phone.

“I’m standing outside your apartment. And you’re going to answer the door.”

“You sound confident.”

“I’m waiting.”

I hated how she cornered me. I hated the fact that I immediately stood up from the couch. “How do you know where I live?”

“Your father gave me directions.”

“That bastard.”

“Now open the door, Mike.”

I sighed then stayed rooted to the spot. I stared at the door but didn’t reach for it. I argued with myself for several minutes, telling myself to go to bed and let her stand there all night. But I opened the door like a fucking pussy.

I hung up and shoved the phone into my pocket.

She wore jeans and a baggy t-shirt. Her hair was perfect like it usually was. Earrings dangled from her lobes. She wore no make up but she looked beautiful without it. Only a truly gorgeous woman could pull that off and still get me hard—which she did. I hated myself for that.

“What?” I snapped.

“Mike, give me another chance.”

“I said no.”

“Then say yes.”

She was being more aggressive than before, like she was determined to get her way. “Just leave me alone, Cassandra. If you have any respect for me you’ll leave me in peace.”

“No. We’re supposed to be together, Mike. I’ll make up for everything I did.”

“There isn’t enough time in the world,” I said bitterly.

She gave me a firm look. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to get married, have two kids, and have a house right next to Sean and Scarlet. I want to take our kids skiing every winter. I want to come to your office for lunch and do something nasty with you. And I want that every day for the rest of my life. We both want the same things. Just give me a chance and we can make that happen. I don’t want anyone else and neither do you. We can do this.”

The longer she pursued me, the harder it was to resist her. And I hated myself for that. The hard and edgy man I’d become was slipping away with every visit she paid me. She looked at me with those green eyes I stared at so many times. They burned in a fire of longing. I remember all the nights she looked at me in the same way. It haunted my dreams and my every day thoughts. I could never get away from those orbs that followed me everywhere I went.

She came into my apartment, uninvited.

I should kick her out but I didn’t.

She shut the door then looked at me. She wore flats so she was even shorter than she usually was. “Come on.”

“I can’t.” I felt the burn in my throat. I was in so much pain without her, but I was too scared to give her another chance. I didn’t want to end up like my parents. I didn’t want to be disappointed again. I didn’t want to watch Cassandra walk out of my life.

“I won’t hurt you again. I promise.”

My chest heaved with pain. “Just go.”

“No.”

We stared at each other. The intensity of her eyes made me look away.

“I’ve been very patient with you, Mike. But there’s something you need to know. This isn’t how I wanted to tell you.”

My eyes shifted back to her, curious by her words.

Cassandra pulled her shirt over her head, revealing her bra. I had no idea what the hell she was doing. If she thought having sex would fix everything, she was wrong. I averted my gaze so I wouldn’t be enticed.

“Mike, look at me.”

“No.”

“Do it.”

“I’m not falling for that.”

“You’ll understand when you do.”

I sighed then looked at her. What I saw caught me by surprise. Her chest and arms looked like they always had. They were tone and firm. Her breasts were just as prominent and voluptuous. But when I looked lower, I saw her stomach. She wasn’t fit and toned anymore. The lines of abs were gone. Now her stomach had a round bump. It didn’t look like fat. It was too hard and firm. My heart suddenly convulsed and my breathing hitched.

“I’m pregnant, Mike. And yes, it’s yours.”

My mind suddenly buzzed with a million thoughts. I couldn’t think straight. Happiness, joy, confusion all radiated through my body. I stared at the bump, trying to understand how this happened.

“I didn’t want to win you back this way, but you didn’t give me a choice.” She watched my expression. “I’m five weeks along. I never wanted to have kids, but when I found out I was pregnant, everything changed. That’s when I knew I wanted to get married and spend the rest of my life with you. Because I don’t even know my baby yet, but it’s made me happier than I’ve ever been. I wanted to share that with you—forever.”

“How do I know it’s mine?” My voice cracked. It was a stupid question. In my heart, I knew that baby was mine.

“I haven’t been with anyone, Mike. But we can do a paternity test if you really want to know for sure.”

“I don’t need to know.” I didn’t realize my eyes were burning until a tear fell down my cheek. Too many emotions were hitting me at once. I didn’t know how to process it all. Everything suddenly came together. Everything I wanted was right in front of me.

I reached my hand out then gently touched her stomach. The bump was small but noticeable. My large hand completely covered it. Knowing my child was inside brought me to my
knees. I pressed my lips to her stomach then closed my eyes, feeling all the emotions slam into me at once.

Cassandra ran her fingers through my hair. “I don’t
need you to help me take care of this baby. I can raise it on my own. So, if you still want nothing to do with me, don’t feel guilty. I would much rather love this baby with my whole heart by myself than have a father who only invests half his time. The choice is yours.”

Her words brought me back to reality. For a moment, I forgot about everything that happened between us. I forgot about the way she hurt me. I forgot about how I pushed her away. All of that seemed irrelevant now that we were having a baby together. I loved Cassandra with my whole heart and always had. Nothing else mattered.

I came back to my feet then looked her in the eye. “Of course I want to raise this baby with you—as your husband.”

Her eyes softened. They reddened and filled with moisture.

“I’m so sorry. I was just hurt and—”

“Forget it,” she said immediately. “I’m sorry too.”

The memory of all the horrible things I did and said came back to me. “I slept with someone…” Now I felt like shit. I felt like a fucking asshole. I was a fucking asshole.

“It’s in the past,” she said simply.

“How can you just forgive me for that?”

“Because I know you didn’t love her.”

“No…but she wasn’t you.”

“We do stupid things when we’re in pain.” She looked into my eyes, saying more wordlessly than she did with her mouth. “I left you because I got scared. You were too perfect to be real. The fear of you leaving me hurt more than the pain itself. So I ran away and made a stupid mistake. When you were hurt, you made a mistake too. Let’s just forget about it and be happy.”

I grabbed her face and kissed her forehead. “I’ll spend forever making it up to you.”

“As will I.”

I wrapped my arms around her waist and felt the tears fall. All the pain I’d been carrying suddenly disappeared now that she was in my arms. I’d been missing this every night and every day. “I finally got what I always wanted.”

She kissed my tears away. “And you have it forever.”

My chest hurt with every breath. “Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

My hand moved to the baby bump. “We’re family.”

She smiled while she rubbed her nose against mine. “We are. You better pack all my stuff and bring it over here. Because I live here now.”

I squeezed her back tightly, reminding myself she was real. “Let’s go look at houses tomorrow so we can save ourselves a trip.”

“I’d like that,” she whispered.

Feeling her stomach made me experience foreign sensations. I was so happy, so elated, that I couldn’t process everything at once. But I knew this little bump was driving me crazy.

I pressed my mouth against hers gently, feeling the sparks fly. My lips took their time caressing hers, wanting to savor every second. My hand still felt her stomach, feeling more aroused than I’d ever been. I just wanted to be inside
her, to start the rest of our lives.

I guided her to the bedroom then removed the rest of her clothes. She was just as excited to connect with me again. My clothes were ripped away and she pulled me to her, not wanting to wait for a second longer.

I kissed her stomach before I leaned over her and inserted myself slowly. I gasped at how good she felt. She gripped me like she was afraid I’d slip away. When I wasn’t staring into her eyes, my eyes were glued to her stomach. It turned me on in a way I could never explain. Knowing she was carrying my child drove me crazy. Soon, she would be bulging, waddling around the house. It was a dream come true.

“I love you,” she whispered to me. Her
eyes were bright like the forest, vibrant and buzzing with life. I could stare into those depths forever.

“I love you.” I took her slowly, knowing I had the rest of my life to finish. Last time, our lovemaking ende
d with a broken heart. But I knew this was different. This was forever. She would be there the next morning.

And the morning after that.

And the morning after that.