Until Forever (Women of Prayer) (17 page)

Upon returning to the kitchen, Olivia found Aunt Merry busy making a special dessert for supper. She said today was a very special occasion and she was making Olivia’s favorite treat. Mark and Olivia made their way to the living room, where Mark told her stories of Jesus and the disciples. Olivia had five years of Bible stories to catch up on, and Mark was more than willing to be the one to educate her. They started out with Adam and Eve and the garden. Each time they met thereafter, there would be a new story for Olivia to learn.

As Merry put the chocolate-filled cupcakes in the oven to bake, she hummed a joyful song of thanksgiving to the Lord, praising him for his faithfulness.

Chapter 21

Jessi walked through the grocery store, wanting to pick up something for she and Olivia to make for dinner. Aunt Merry was going to be gone most of the evening, and Jessi wanted to surprise her with supper to thank her for having Olivia and her for the majority of the summer. She had also invited her mother, as their relationship was improving although still strained at times. She and Olivia would be leaving for home on Sunday, right after Olivia returned from church, so it was time to start getting things packed and ready. The return home would be much harder on Olivia than it would be on her. Olivia enjoyed the excitement that being among friends and family brought. In fact, she almost thrived on it. Jessi could see that Olivia had never looked better, but there was nothing she could do. It was the end of July, and school would be starting in few weeks. She had to get back and get ready for the new year. She was deep in thought, not really putting anything in her basket, when she heard a distinct voice from her past.

“Well, hello there. Fancy seeing you here.”

Jessi looked up and right into the eyes of Doctor Phillips.

When she didn’t say anything, he continued. “I was surprised to see you wandering around here looking lost. Last I heard you were living in Wisconsin.”

She realized he was talking about the empty basket that she’d been carrying around when she followed his gaze to her hands. She smiled. “Hi. It would seem that way wouldn’t it?” She’d always liked Doc as a person, and he’d gotten to be her friend over time. “And yes, you’re right. I did move to Wisconsin. Olivia and I are just here visiting, and we’ll actually be going home in a few days. I thought I would make my aunt supper tonight to thank her for having us this summer. I obviously haven’t found anything yet. The other problem is she’s such a great cook. What could I possibly make that would in the slightest way impress her?”

Eric Phillips laughed. He had come to respect the woman standing before him. For the longest time, she had given him a reason to get up in the morning. Yes, he had his work, but it usually didn’t put a smile on his face like she did. Each time he would schedule some time with her to talk about her son’s condition, or in later days in passing, she would give him something good to think about for the day. He was hoping she might do that again. Of course, she had mentioned she was leaving, but an evening with her would be nice.

“Well, you could take her out to eat instead. For those of us who are not culinary experts, it’s usually the best way.”

Jessi pondered the idea. “You know, I didn’t think of that. She rarely goes out to eat, and she’s always cooking. That’s a good idea.” Jessi smiled at him.

Eric decided this was the best possible moment to ask, and if he didn’t it would be his own fault. “Speaking of going out to eat, would you like to go to dinner with me Friday night? I know this great place, and I would love to see you again. Especially since you are leaving soon.”

Jessi had never considered dating in the years since Ethan’s accident, and then with Olivia, there just hadn’t been time, not that she would allow herself to get close to anyone else ever again. But what harm could come of this? She respected this man, and there would be nothing wrong with having dinner with a friend. Anyway, in five days she was leaving for her home, which was eight hundred miles away. Nothing could ever come of it, and it would be nice to have some male companionship.

“Yes.” Jessi felt a little jolt, like she was coming back to life. “I’ll go with you to dinner Friday. Should we meet?”

“No, I’ll pick you up. Just write down your address. It can’t be too far away from my place if we’re shopping at the same grocery store.”

Jessi wrote down her address and phone number in case something came up, and Eric promised to pick her up at seven o’clock on Friday night. Since Jessi’s cooking for Aunt Merry had turned into taking her out to eat, she bid Eric good-bye and left. She definitely had a little spring to her step. She was going out on a date with a doctor, no less. Wow! Not that she really considered it a date. Just friends. But it still felt good to be asked. It made her day.

Aunt Merry thought it particularly odd when Jessi actually entered the house whistling. “You seem to be in a good mood. Anything happen that I should know about?”

“Oh, nothing much. I went grocery shopping to make you a thank-you dinner, and I ran in to Dr. Phillips. Do you remember him?” Without waiting for her answer, Jessi continued on. “Well, I was having a hard time deciding what to make when he suggested I just take you out to dinner. I thought it was a great idea, so tonight, instead of Olivia and I cooking, we’ll be taking you out to thank you. That will keep you out of the kitchen, even when it comes to clean up.”

“Oh, phooey, Jessi. You don’t have to do anything to thank me. I love having you two here. You know that.”

“Don’t try to talk me out of it ’cause it isn’t going to work. Is there anything special you would like?” Jessi poured her a tall glass of tea and waited for Aunt Merry to answer.

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t go out to eat often. Surprise me; how about that?”

“Be ready to be surprised. By the way, will you watch Olivia Friday evening? I have been asked to go out to dinner with Dr. Phillips.” Jessi turned to Aunt Merry, grinning like a little school girl.

Aunt Merry opened her mouth to speak but had no idea what to say, so she closed it again. She just couldn’t comprehend Jessi going out on a date.

Jessi watched her aunt’s reaction to her news and couldn’t help but chuckle to herself. She came to her rescue. “It’s only as friends, Aunt Merry. He knows I’m leaving this weekend to head home. Don’t make anything of it. It means nothing.”

Still in a state of “wow,” Aunt Merry finally responded. “Sure, I can watch Olivia. That will give us a little bit of alone time before you guys head home. What time are you leaving?”

“He’s picking me up at seven. I have no idea where we’re going or what time I’ll be back. I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s not a problem. You just go and have yourself a good time. Olivia will be just fine with me. It’s about time you get out with other people your age and have some fun.”

That night when Aunt Merry returned from her church planning committee, Jessi took the three of them out to eat. They had a wonderful time all dressed up, and since they all loved Italian, they went to a nice Italian restaurant, where Aunt Merry made a fuss about the prices. “Jessi, this is going to cost you a fortune. We could have stayed at home, and I could have made spaghetti. I should have put my foot down about this.”

“Aunt Merry, here I am trying to thank you properly, and all you can do is complain. Is that how you show gratitude?”

Aunt Merry had the good manners to stop fussing over the cost of things and just enjoy the evening. “All right, you win. How can I argue with that? I’ve never eaten at this restaurant, and I have no idea what to get. Everything looks so good.”

Jessi was glad her aunt was enjoying the evening. She’d have to thank Eric on Friday night for his suggestion. If it weren’t for him, she’d be home trying her hand at some new dish, probably burning it and then ordering pizza. This was so much better.

The evening ended with tiramisu and coffee for the adults and ice cream for Olivia. They all went home full and ready to relax. Olivia put on her pajamas and headed to her room. Jessi followed to tuck her in, but when she entered she found Olivia kneeling beside her bed, praying.

“Jesus, thank you for this day. Thank you for giving me a mommy and a daddy. Also, thank you for Aunt Merry. Aunt Merry and Daddy say it’s best to be thankful before I ask for stuff, so I have more to thank you for. Thank you for my new doll and my friends. Thank you for Sunday school and Vacation Bible School, where I learned about you. Do you think that is enough now? I’m just going to ask for two things. First, can you make my mommy love my daddy again? I want us to be a family. If you could do that I would thank you for it afterward. Also, and most important, can you make Mommy love you? She would be happy inside like me if she loved you, ’cause you would smile inside her, and then she would be happy too. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.”

Jessi quietly watched her daughter climb into bed and then walked over to tuck her in. She sat down on the edge of the bed and bent down to kiss her good night. “Do you know how much I love you, Olivia?”

Olivia nodded and replied, “I love you too, Mommy.”

“I know you do, sweetie. I heard your prayer, and I want to thank you for praying for me.”

“You mean you’re not mad at me? I thought you might be mad at me if you heard me pray. That’s why I didn’t wait for you to come. I didn’t want you to be mad at me.”

“No, Olivia, I’m not mad at you. How could I be mad at you when I love you so much, huh? But yet, I don’t want you to be disappointed when you don’t get what you prayed for. I’m not going to love your daddy like a mommy is supposed to love a daddy. Can you understand that?”

“No, Mommy, I don’t understand. Why don’t you love Daddy anymore? Did he do something to make you not love him?”

“Oh, sweetheart, sometimes things happen that make mommies and daddies stop loving each other. Grown-up things that little girls don’t need to know about.”

“Am I the reason that you don’t love each other anymore? Did I do something?”

Jessi pulled her daughter in for a close hug. “No, baby, you didn’t do anything. What happened with me and your daddy happened before you were even born. So see, it doesn’t have anything to do with you. We both love you very much, so how could it be you?” Jessi smiled to reassure Olivia that her and Mark’s problems were their own and had nothing to do with Olivia. She hoped it would answer, at least temporarily, the questions Olivia had about their divorce. She wasn’t ready to sit down and tell Olivia about Mark’s part in Ethan’s death. She had hoped that Olivia would be older when they had to have that discussion. She’d put her off as long as possible.

After reading Olivia a story and tucking her in, Jessi made her way to her own room. She wasn’t done with the journals yet and wasn’t sure if Aunt Merry would let her take them with her to Wisconsin. Wearing a light pink summer nightgown, Jessi settled into the easy chair to read the next entries. It seemed Aunt Merry led a very busy and at times, a very rebellious life. Jessi wanted to know more about this side of her aunt, the side that Jessi would never have guessed existed.

Friday, January 3, 1964

Lester bought me a beautiful necklace for Christmas. He said I was his girl. I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy I cried. We spent the whole day together at Lester’s house New Year’s day, and Lester said it was time I start thinking about becoming a real woman. I didn’t know what he was talking about, but if it means Lester will love me, I’m more than willing to be a real woman. Ha! Me? A real woman? Yeah, right. Lester said he wanted to show me something, so we left and went for a drive. He took me to the lookout, and he parked. I was a little scared. I’d heard of this place, but I’d never been to it. Lester told me not to be afraid. He just wanted to spend a little time with me without anyone else around. He held me, and he kissed me…a lot! I was a little nervous when his hands started roaming around a little too much for my comfort, but he said that was part of becoming a woman. I suppose if it’s what Lester wants, I should at least think about it, especially seeing I’m supposed to be his girl and he is a grown man. A grown man wouldn’t want to be with a baby who was afraid. He told me to decide if I want to grow up or not. I’m not sure what to do. Good night, diary.

Jessi closed the journal and went to bed, not quite sure what to think about what she had just read. Confused, she’d opened the curtains to her bedroom window and lay in bed looking at the stars. Did God really create all of this? How else could all of nature come to be? Chance couldn’t have a part in any of creation. The stars in the skies were an accident? She could never believe it. They were too beautiful. Jessi fell asleep thinking about God and his hand in the lives of those around her. If only she could find out why he didn’t love her and answer her prayers. What was wrong with her?