Until Next Time (The Shooting Stars Series) (17 page)

“I don’t know,” Katherine shrugged and opened the door. She managed to bring her emotions in check on the walk to his apartment. She knocked on the door and waited.

“Hi,” Adam looked as tied up as she felt.

“Hi,” she returned as she entered. “Congratulations.”

“Do not congratulate me, Kaitlyn. Right about now I wish I had never heard of the damn competition!” Adam shoved a hand through his hair.

“You have a chance to do it, Adam; to make the music you love,” she reminded him.

“That’s a big risk to take for a maybe,” he sighed. “Kaitlyn, if I go I lose my job and with no job I give up my apartment, I miss several weeks of classes, and leave you again.”

“If you don’t go you’ll always wonder what might have been,” she pointed out.

“Do you think I won’t wonder the same thing if I leave you? Kaitlyn…” Adam turned and walked off; then came back. He took her face between his hands. “I love you!”

“I love you too.” She fought tears; she had promised herself she wouldn’t cry.

“I don’t know what to do; I feel like I’m being torn in two!”

“If you go and you don’t win what next?” she asked him.

“I try and salvage everything I risked for a shot at making music.”

“And if you go and win?”

“If I win the competition I lose you,” his voice was hoarse and his eyes damp.

“If you stay?” she was blinking against tears too.

“I get to stay with you and decide on a major.”

“Do you want a nine to five career?”

“Most people don’t get their dream, Kaitlyn.”

“But you have that opportunity, Adam.”

Adam wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close; Katherine clung to him. Adam kissed her, a moment later his kiss reflecting his tumultuous emotions. Katherine kissed him back, her own emotions spilling into the kiss. She broke their kiss and leaned back in his arms to remove her shirt and bra.

“Kaitlyn, what are you doing?” Adam demanded as his eyes slid over her.

“I want this night with you before you leave,” her gaze was determined. “I’ve wanted you for weeks but couldn’t find the nerve to tell you. I wish like hell I had but tonight I intend to be with you. I want this memory.”

“Kaitlyn…”

Before he could finish his thought she had yanked him back against her and was kissing him. She tugged at his shirt impatiently, leaned back long enough to yank it off of him, and then pressed herself against him. Adam’s hands slid over her bare back to press her closer. He broke the kiss and stared down at her, his eyes showing the battle he was waging with himself. Katherine stepped from his arms and slowly removed her remaining clothing before standing opposite him and watching his eyes darken as his gaze slid over her.

“You’re more beautiful than I imagined,” he informed her. His eyes slid closed and then back open as he shook his head. “If I were a better man I wouldn’t do this, Kaitlyn.”

“I’m asking you to, Adam; make love to me,” she turned the overhead lights off, leaving only the lamp on his night stand to cast the room in shadows. She climbed onto the bed and laid down, her eyes inviting Adam to join her.

She heard him curse under his breath before he joined her and kissed her passionately as his hands slid over her. He knew what he was doing, she mused, his every touch was intended to induce a reaction and did. He kissed, touched, and teased until the world seemed to fall out from under her.

“Kaitlyn, are you sure about this, baby, there’s no going back,” Adam asked her as he leaned over her.

Katherine made her weak limbs support her as she sat up and scooted off the bed; Adam watched her curiously. She walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer.

“I see some things don’t change,” Katherine teased him as she claimed a box of condoms. Adam, shaking his head, smiled at her.

Katherine tore the box open and removed one before tossing the box on the night stand.

“You plan on needing more of those?” Adam teased.

“No sense in having to jump up again,” she shrugged and watched him smile again. She started to hand the condom to him; then stopped.

“Second thoughts?” he asked her.

“No, I want to see you,” she informed him. He still wore his jeans.

“Kaitlyn, if anyone had told me you would be this bold I would have laughed at them,” Adam informed her as he obliged her request. Katherine admired him a moment before climbing back onto the bed to lie down and hand him the condom.

“You are absolutely certain?” he double checked.

“Would you shut up and make love to me already?”

“Promise you won’t hate me tomorrow?”

“I’m going to hate you tonight if you don’t finish what you started,” she countered.

“Well I can’t have you hating me,” he smiled.

When Adam leaned over and shifted his weight to his arms, Katherine, her gaze meeting his, wrapped her hands around his biceps.

“Your heart is pounding,” he noted.

“It’s anticipation,” she assured him.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” she returned.

Adam kissed her deeply; Katherine’s hands tightened on his arms and she whimpered against his mouth.

“Sorry,” he whispered against her ear; she shook her head in argument even as her body tensed. A moment later she was kissing him back and arching to meet him.

***

Adam lay facing Katherine, his hand tangled in her hair as his thumb stroked her jaw. Her clear green eyes looked fathomless as she stared at him. He found himself smiling and shaking his head.

“What?” she asked him.

“You were so bold,” he chuckled.

“I was afraid that if I hesitated at all you would turn me down,” she admitted.

“I should have. If I leave tomorrow, you’re going to end up hating me.”

“If?”

“I’m not sure I should go.”

“I won’t hate you, Adam. I don’t think I have it in me to hate you.”

“Say the word and I’ll stay, Kaitlyn,” he told her. He watched her eyes slide closed, their depths clouded when they opened.

“I can’t do that, Adam.”

“Why not?”

“Because I won’t stand between you and your dream.”

“If I thought leaving you was going to be hard before it feels nearly impossible now,” he admitted.

“The new would wear off,” she informed him.

Adam felt his anger stir. “Kaitlyn, if you think that I would tire of you, you don’t know me at all,” he countered.

“I didn’t exactly mean it that way, Adam.”

Adam rolled over and stood to pull his pants back on and moved through the bathroom to stand on the balcony. Katherine wrapped herself in the sheet and followed.

“I don’t want to choose, Kaitlyn. I want it all.”

“Me too, Adam, but life doesn’t always work that way. I’m where I belong. I want my degree.”

“Where do I belong, Kaitlyn?” Adam pulled her into his arms and rested his head on hers.

“I don’t know; only you can decide that, Adam.”

Adam kissed her and led her back inside to the bed to make love to her again. He wanted to pause time right there and live in this moment forever, decisions and their consequences perpetually in the future.

“I’m not a nice person, Kaitlyn,” Adam told her as he held her.

“Yes, you are,” she argued.

“No, I’m not. If I were a nice man I wouldn’t be making love to you and contemplating leaving in the morning.”

“You’ll leave in the morning, Adam, you know that and I know that too; that’s why I asked you for tonight. I want this memory.”

“Kaitlyn,” Adam swallowed hard.

“I love you, Adam.”

“I love you too. Kaitlyn, if I leave here you’re going to turn around and marry some Ken doll and be lost to me forever.”

“A Ken doll?” Katherine laughed at him.

“Yeah and just to prove I’m not nice when you stand there beside your Ken doll making the perfect couple at least I’ll know I had you first.”

“Adam,” Katherine sighed.

“That’s the kind of man you deserve anyway. Some man who will work nine to five and come home to you and your two point five kids and your golden retriever in your perfect suburban neighborhood with neat green lawns and sparkling swimming pools.”

“Thank you for planning my life out all nice and neat for me,” Katherine said dryly. “However, I’m afraid that those aren’t the things I want.”

“They aren’t?” he asked in amusement.

“No. I’m not exactly sure what qualifies as a Ken doll but I can tell you that I do not want to live in the suburbs. I want to live in a historic house, some place that has been there for years and years with a lot of bedrooms I can fill with kids. And while golden retrievers are nice, what I really want is Siamese cat named Cleopatra,” she shared.

“Sounds like a nice dream, Kaitlyn. I hope you get it.”

“Me too,” she nodded. They each fell quiet.

Katherine pressed onto her knees and place one on either side of Adam before she kissed him. She swallowed her nerves to kiss, touch, and explore him.

“Feeling adventurous?” he teased as his hands caressed her sides.

“I don’t know exactly what I am doing here, Adam, but I want you to know that no woman will ever love you the way I do. I want every woman you ever touch from here on out to pale in comparison with this moment,” she informed him as she slid her body along his and began kissing him. His sharp intake of breath let her know she was on the right track.

“No one will ever compare to you, Kaitlyn; you have no need to worry about that,” he assured her as he captured her mouth with his.

They made love passionately, rolling across the bed in their haste to get to each other and their competition to each be in control. Katherine refused to let her inhibitions interfere; tonight she was bold and she would give him something to remember.

Spent, they both laid, limbs tangled and waited for their breathing to level off. Katherine felt rather shaken as she considered her actions; she knew she’d do it all over again if she could restart the night.

“I guess since you informed me I’m going I should pack.” Adam sighed a short time later.

Adam pulled on his jeans and took his luggage from the closet. He was deeply frustrated, he felt as though he was going to regret his decision either direction he went. Kaitlyn deserved better than him but letting her go felt all but impossible. He emerged from the bathroom and looked up to find her sitting, her knees bent, and arms around them with the sheet tucked beneath her arms. Her hair was in disarray, a riot of curls around her face and her green eyes so solemn it made his heart ache. He knew the image was burned in his brain and would haunt him. He spotted his camera sitting on the counter beside him and took her picture.

“What are you doing?” she frowned at him.

“Packing my camera,” he placed it in a box.

“Did you take my picture?” she demanded. “Like this?”

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked her; she held his gaze a moment before she looked away.

“Would you like some help?” her voice was soft.

“Sure,” he agreed and watched her stand, she glanced around for her clothes and he handed her one of his t-shirts.

“Thanks,” she smiled.

“Welcome,” he returned as she tugged the shirt on and pulled her hair free from the collar. “What can I do?”

“There are some boxes in the closet; it’s a habit I learned from Mom. I guess we can pack everything into those,” he told her and watched her nod.

Nine

Packing took all night, not that he had that much to pack; he didn’t. He kept ending up back in bed with Kaitlyn; she didn’t seem to mind. They now lay in each other’s arms, rain slapping against the windows and thunder growling in the distance. All but a few last minute items were packed. Adam had to meet up with the crew from the show at one and then he would start driving west. He planned to stay with Kaitlyn until the last possible moment.

“Are you hungry?” Adam asked her.

“I couldn’t eat if I tried,” she admitted.

“Me either, but I don’t want to starve you.”

“I’m fine. What time is it?” she asked.

“Ten fifteen.”

They stared at each other both knowing time was running out. The ringing of the phone made Katherine jump.

Adam grabbed it. “Hello.”

Katherine watched him blink in surprise.

“Hi, Julia; yeah, she’s here,” Adam handed the phone to Katherine.

“Hi, Mom,” she answered.

“Hello, Kattie, I got worried when you didn’t call. I called the dorm room and no one answered and then I remembered you’d given me this number one evening when you needed me to look something up for you,” her mother explained how she had come to be calling Adam’s number.