Unto These Hills (14 page)

Next thing I knew I was in his arms and
Lord, it felt so good
I thought I’d die. His lips brushed, then connected solidly with mine for a long moment before he finally loosened his grip on me, and after a slow drinking look into my eyes, greeted the others. That contact had my heart pitter-pattin’ like that Tweedly-Dee Dee song.

Aunt Tina said, “Sheila, get him a plate and some tea.”

Within moments, Daniel feasted on the same food that’d poisoned me. But my sickness subsided as I watched him, rapt with the brushing of our arms and inhaling the unique scent of him. God, how I loved him. No, I
worshipped him
, couldn’t tear my gaze from his wonderful, gorgeous hands, sinewy arms, and intense countenance. His turquoise gaze bounded to mine time and time again. And I knew he, too, felt what I did.

I decided then and there, I couldn’t lose him

~~~~~

Later, on our walk, streetlights cast planes and angles across Daniel’s face, painting him mature and so handsome I felt like I would explode any minute. At the middle of Oak, a streetlight was out. Daniel stopped, took me in his arms and kissed me so thoroughly my joints dissolved

Then he took my arm and led me to a vacant house, whose back screened-in porch was unlatched. There, with the blind-wall two-thirds up, we finally had privacy. An old single-bed mattress leaned against the wall. Daniel flipped it over and we lowered ourselves onto it.

Tonight, I knew Daniel’s need for restraint was not so intense. After all, our wedding was but a few heartbeats away. Graduation was tomorrow night, a fact over which, once done, I would heave a great sigh of relief. There was so much I couldn’t share with him. So much. And I missed that aspect of our relationship so badly I wanted to weep and wail.

I felt a surge of guilt for what I was about to do, yet, at the same time, knew I had no choice. It was either deceive him or lose him. I could not willingly give Daniel up.

In the next breath, I couldn’t’ve stopped the torrent had I tried. Daniel stretched his beautiful weight over me. It felt so right and when his pelvis settled, then undulated into mine, I met him grind for grind. The fire in me was deep, incited when Daniel raised himself above me and lowered his head and kissed me as heavy and carnal as I felt. I was mindless with a need for him to fill me, to somehow stamp out the awful violation that had taken place that nightmare night in Doretha’s bed.

I pushed the thoughts aside as Daniel came into me, wonderful steel and silken heat — and at the same time reverential. For just a heartbeat, a flashback of the dark moment in Doretha’s bed shook me. Then I realized this was Daniel.
My Lion-Man,
Daniel, the feel and taste of him sweetly familiar.
Right
. My intake of breath hissed…Daniel moaned softly, “I’m sorry, Sunny,” and remained motionless for long moments. I was still tight and it dawned on me that he mistook my delighted gasp for pain.

Appalling regret swamped me and I sighed tiredly. Again, he misinterpreted the sigh. “Ahh, Sunny,” he murmured hoarsely, “I can’t wait —” He began to move in me, harder, deeper, creating a burn and soothing it at once.

The pleasure of it left me panting and gasping as his momentum built and raged like a wildfire that consumed us both, making us one. I exulted in it — the oneness. Gloried. Daniel arched into me with a guttural, animal sound from deep within his chest and I felt him, penetrated as deeply in me as he could go, flood me with his seed.

His seed. Such precious seed. I clutched him to me, tears rushing to my eyes, spilling over.

His head raised. “Sunny? Are you crying?” His stunning turquoise eyes raked my features, as concerned as I’d ever seen them. “I’m so sorry, honey. I didn’t —”

“Shh.” I put my fingers over his lips to stop the words. They pierced like bullets. “I’m just so happy.” That was partly true. Partly. I wrapped my arms around him, pulled him close, cradling his face in the crook of my neck, wanting to protect him so badly I trembled. How I loved him. And the only way to protect him was to keep the truth from him.

What Daniel doesn’t know won’t hurt him.
In that instant in time, I was convinced it was true.

Minutes later, he made love to me again, this time more slowly, intent on giving me pleasure. The fire between us ignited to greater heights and I thought I’d pass away from ecstasy as he brought me to fulfillment — a purely artless,
instinctive
thing with my inexperienced Lion-Man. We muffled our cries against each other’s necks, afraid some passerby might hear and come to explore. Afterward, Daniel held me as gently as he would a fragile china doll. I was so thankful that his image of me remained intact.

He doesn’t know. Only other person who knows is Doretha, who won’t ever tell a soul.

If only this had happened before Daniel’s trip. But it had not. Now, I had to go with what I had to keep Daniel. I couldn’t begin to face life without him. I didn’t, in those moments, even entertain the word
deception
in my dealings with Daniel.

My mind simply deleted it.

Desperation painted my actions
protective
and
necessary
.

~~~~~

Daniel’s face glowed from the audience as I walked across the school auditorium stage and received my diploma. My relief was enormous. Yet an even greater horizon loomed and a sense of foreboding followed me around like a black thundercloud. Our wedding was scheduled for Saturday and, on Thursday evening, I walked to the hotel to press my wedding gown. I planned to dress there for the ceremony, after which Francine and Tack would drive me to the church.

“Two days away,” Daisy
tch-tched.

I wasn’t feeling very well. Supper had been fried fare. I swore I’d never look another pan of grease in the face again as long as I lived. “You lookin’ mighty peak-ed,” Daisy said, as though divining my desolation.

“Just overloaded,” I muttered, pulling a hidden straight pin from a seam and checking for others.

Sheila strolled in, sexy as Monroe in white short-shorts and a snug white shirt. Against the white attire, her honey-tanned skin shimmered. “Mm
Mm
,” Daisy intoned, “jus’ look at that purdy thang.” Like Timmy, thirteen-year-old Sheila had shot up to statuesque svelteness in the past eighteen months, maturing much more rapidly than I had.

Sheila gave her a big, impulsive hug, effusive with the excitement of my approaching wedding. “Daisy,” she trilled, “you jus’ say the sweetest things.”

“Don’t give ‘er the big head,” Francine snorted as she ambled in, blatantly vying with Sheila for ‘most sexy’ in crimson short shorts and halter-top. My siblings shrewdly measured one another, each equally confident in her sensuality.

“I heard what you told Aunt Tina ‘bout Tack.” Francine swooped to confront Sheila, nearly toe-to-toe. “Still lyin’, ain’t you?”

“Wadn’t no lie,” Sheila said blandly, enjoying the rise from Francine, preening, in fact. “He tried to kiss me —”

“Didn’t so,” Francine’s eyes slitted as she drew back to hit her.

“I dare you.” Sheila stuck out her chin, hands planted on hips. “Wouldn’t want to hit me for tellin’ the truth, now would you, Frannie-wannie?”

To her credit, Francine didn’t hit her, merely turned the air blue with her filthy mouth. I tuned her out and hung up my gown.

Timmy trailed in moments after Francine, looking distinctly misfitted in the small room. He now towered over his squabbling sisters, all legs and arms, bumping everything in his path to me. His affection for me remained child-like and constant. He bent to give me a big hug and a peck on my cheek. “Love ya, Sunny,” he muttered, utterly unashamed, ignoring his sisters’ ruckus.

“Love you, too, Timmy.”

He smelled of Vitalis hair tonic. Suddenly, the wonderful smell turned deadly. I heaved violently, turned on my heel, and dashed blindly for the bathroom door. I didn’t know Daisy had followed me until I came out the small cubicle to find her leaned against the doorjamb, arms akimbo, and a wise look on her face.

“You tol’ Daniel about this yet?” One sooty eyebrow lifted.

“No.” I wiped my face with toilet tissue. “No use botherin’ him so close to the wedding. Ulcers aren’t the worst things in the world, after all. I’m taking pills for them.”

“Hummph.” She pushed away from the wall, looking extremely cynical. “He ain’t gonna like bein’ kep’ in the dark.” She walked away, going back to her kitchen post, where large white lima beans simmered in their own bacon-seasoned sauce, cornbread baked, and sliced potatoes sizzled with onions in big cast iron frying pans atop the wood stove. The smells that would have, only weeks ago, beguiled me, now tortured me.

I slammed the bathroom door shut behind me and fell upon the commode again, retching and heaving until my stomach emptied. I washed my face, rinsed out my mouth, and peered in the wall mirror.

“
Ain’t gonna like bein’ kep’ in the dark.”
Did Daisy suspect?
Lord help me
. Without thought I took off to the kitchen, finding her flipping golden crisp potatoes at the stove.

“Do you really think Daniel will be angry with me?”

I tried to hide my weakness and terror as she cast me a chastising look. “I reckon he will. Man don’ like his fiancée keepin’ things like ulcers from ‘im, eh, Sunny?”

I dropped my gaze, relieved beyond measure. “No. I guess not.”
Daisy probably knows,
I thought,
but she’s pretending she doesn’t. She won’t say anything
. I went back to the sewing room to find Sheila and Francine near to blows.

“Hey, I can’t help it if Tack finds me dee-sire-able,” Sheila struck a sensual pose, with her shoulder-length hair falling over one eye. “And that’s a fact.”

“You li’l
hussy
.” Francine bore crimson talons as she lunged. “I’ll scratch —”

“Stop!” I flung myself between them, getting violently jostled for the effort. “This is stupid! Sheila, why are you doing this?” I gazed at her, disappointment flailing about inside me.

She saw it. My disapproval. Her green eyes lost their sensual, incited glint, turning instantly defensive. “Just having a little fun is all, Sunny. Francine’s always a’braggin’ on how she’s so much prettier’n me and sexier and all. Thinks she’s better’n me.”

“You’re
sisters,
Lord have mercy! Francine, she’s our baby sis —”

“
Half-sister,”
Francine hissed, eyes like golden daggers slashing at Sheila. “Daddy don’t even
claim you
, you lying bi —”

“
Stoppiiitt!”
I screeched, hardly recognizing my own voice. I glared at Francine. “I can’t believe you said that.”

Sheila spun on her heel but not before I saw the tears streaming down her pale cheeks. “Don’t leave, Sheila,” I called but she fled, disappearing from the foyer like a vapor.

Even Timmy glowered at Francine, shaking his dark head as he, too, departed, wide shoulders slouched as he sloughed awkwardly out the door.

“She had it a’comin’,” Francine said, blissfully shameless in what she considered a coup. “Tack says she’s making up every word of it. Hey, I know when Tack’s a’lyin’. This time, he ain’t. And does Sheila care who she hurts? Hell,
no.”
She tossed back her wild tresses and lit her Camel cigarette. I’d given up trying to shame her for smoking. The fact of TB-weakened lungs did nothing to faze her zeal for the vice. At the same time, the stench was deadly for me.

“Francine,” I swallowed back bile, “that cigarette smoke makes me sick.”

“Oh.” She shrugged and ground it out in the metal hotel ashtray. “Sorry.”

I went and put my arms around her. She returned my embrace. “Ahh, Francine, I know you’ve got a point about Sheila but that was hittin’ awfully low, bringing that up.”

“What’s this I hear about you being sick?”

I spun around, heart in throat. Framed by the doorway, Daniel vibrated with ferocity. It was his face that impaled me, dark and fierce as any Roman gladiator’s. Francine scuttled past him, pleased to escape more of my censure.

“Just ulcers, Daniel. Nothing to be —”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I had to learn it from Daisy,” he threw up his hands in exasperation, “ who’s very
worried
about you.” It occurred to me that his fierceness was actually hurt. “Says you’re throwing up all the time.
Dang it all,
Sunny. Why didn’t you tell me?” Guilt waylaid me.

“Honey,” I went to him, threw my arms around his resistant bulk, and pressed my face to his neck. “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to worry you now, what with the wedding and all.”

The stiffness left him as his arms slid around me, clasping me to him. I hoped he couldn’t feel my pulse running away like a terrified rabbit. Guilt was a tiger eating me alive. I hadn’t realized it would be so difficult to keep up the pretense.

I closed my eyes, burrowing my face deeper into the warm crook of his neck and felt Daniel’s arousal against my belly. Against another man’s baby.
Stop it!
My eyes sprang open in alarm even as my body responded to his heat and passion. I groaned with longing when his lips sought and claimed mine and his exquisite hands cupped my bottom and molded me to him.

Oh Lord, please help —
The prayer died right there. I was not fit to utter the Lord’s name, much less petition Him for help. And I knew, in that terrible moment that I could not go through with it. I couldn’t deceive Daniel. He deserved better.

I gazed up into the worshipful turquoise eyes and opened my mouth, “There’s something I’ve got to tell you, Daniel.”

“Miz Sunny,” Daisy poked her head in the door. “That purdy sister o’your’n’s outside, crying her lil’ heart out.”

Sheila.
Heaven help me, amid all the mess in which I festered, I’d forgotten her. Daniel and I disentangled. “She didn’t go home?” I’d figured her to do just that.

“If she did, she done come back. I s’pect she need you to soothe ‘er, Sunny. Timmy be with her but — she need you.”

I looked at Daniel. His eyes conveyed understanding and tenderness. How blessed I felt just then and a sense of peace filled me that I’d decided to tell him the truth.