Untold Story (24 page)

Esther came out of the office. She wore her army fatigues and her work boots, with her gray hair tied up beneath a cap, and Lydia thought she looked distinguished, like an off-duty general.

The pit bull turned circles of delight as Esther approached. “Wouldn’t it be great,” Esther called back to Lydia, “if people were this pleased to see you every time you walked in the room? I only put him back in the kennel ten minutes ago.” She opened the kennel door and received the dog’s ministrations and slipped him a piece of basted bone from her pocket. She locked him back in.

Lydia turned off the hose and began sweeping down with a broom. “Well, it might get a little wearying in the end.”

“You’re right,” said Esther. “Thing is, you’d know it was an act. But the dog’s always genuine.”

Lydia laughed. She wondered if she should tell Esther about her plan with the bracelet because now there was going to be a delay in getting the money. This morning she’d driven into the city and the first three jewelry stores she visited didn’t deal in secondhand. The next two did usually but they weren’t buying at the moment because the market, they said, was poor. They told her places she could send the bracelet that would pay her for the weight of the gold. Lydia knew that the inlaid garnets would be worth more than that. The last place she tried was interested but the guy who did their valuations was away on vacation. They told her to come back in around ten days.

“How long can we keep going,” said Lydia, “if we don’t get some more cash in?”

“We’re not going down without a fight,” said Esther. “I’ve arranged a personal overdraft. Something will turn up.” She shrugged and dragged the hose to the next kennel.

Lydia decided not to say anything. She didn’t know how much she would get for the bracelet, and how much it would solve.

“You ever get the sense that Rufus knows how you’re feeling?” said Esther.

“Yes,” said Lydia. “Guess that’s me projecting onto him.”

Esther scratched the back of her arm where she’d just caught it on the wire netting. She was forever covered in bruises and scrapes, as if she completed an assault course every day. “Maybe,” she said, “but not necessarily. Dogs are more sensitive to humans than any other animal. If you hide a dog’s toy and then look over to where you’ve hidden it, a dog will follow your gaze. No other animal can do that. Even a chimp can’t do that, and they’re supposed to be a whole lot smarter, whole lot closer to us.”

“I’ll start giving Rufus more credit, then,” said Lydia. “By the way, I’m going out for a drink with the girls this evening if you’d like to come.”

“Thanks,” said Esther, “but I won’t. I’ve got some bookkeeping to do tonight. See if I can squeeze some blood out of a stone.”

They met at Dino’s, the Italian restaurant, and got a table by the river, which was overhung with weeping willows. The water shone green and gold in the sun. The restaurant walls were covered in rustic hand-painted plates, and in the open kitchen the Mexican chefs threw and caught and stretched pizza dough in a kind of cabaret.

“Let’s get prosecco,” said Amber.

“Okay,” said Tevis, “are we celebrating something?”

“Only life in general,” said Amber.

“Wait a minute,” said Tevis. “Here, take this crystal. No, just let it lie flat in your palm.”

They all looked at the hexagonal stone on Amber’s hand until Tevis obscured it by placing her palm a few inches above it.

“I’m getting a reading,” said Tevis. “Yes . . . yes . . . got it. Amber’s in love.”

“I am not,” said Amber, blushing.

“Amber,” said Lydia, laughing, “you’re not holding out on us?”

Amber pushed her bangs out of her eyes. “Well, I had another date.”

Tevis set the crystal spinning on the table. “Did he come back to yours or did you go back to his?”

“Neither. We kissed on my front steps.”

Tevis took off her jacket, rolled her shirt cuffs, and let down her hair, as if her Realtor’s business-wear was too constricting for this conversation. “That’s always the best part,” she said. “Downhill all the way from here.”

“Oh my God, I hope not,” said Amber.

“I’m just kidding,” said Tevis, giving Amber’s hand a squeeze.

“It was great, though,” said Amber.

“A dentist should know his way around a mouth,” said Lydia.

“He does,” said Amber. “You know, I think I could really fall for him.”

“If you haven’t already, you mean,” said Lydia. She looked at Suzie, but Suzie seemed hardly to be listening. She was slowly shredding pieces off a paper napkin and rolling them between her fingers.

Amber groaned. “I wouldn’t admit this to anyone but you guys. So today I found myself daydreaming, about Phil, of course. And I was imagining maybe I get trained as a dental hygienist and we go to work together every day, and maybe we don’t get to talk that much because we’ll be busy, but there’s the lunchtimes . . . and, well, you know, I wrote the whole romance in my head.”

Lydia, Tevis, and Suzie looked at each other. “Amber,” said Tevis, “you are nuts. Do you know how dull that would actually be?”

“I know!” said Amber, squirming her shoulders.

“What about Closet?” said Lydia. “Where would that fit in?”

Tevis grew serious. “One step at a time, Amber. Treat it like a fling for now, don’t run ahead of yourself, and certainly do not start thinking of your life in terms of his. Maybe he’ll turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. Maybe he’ll turn out to be a jerk. Don’t go all dizzy over a kiss.”

“Oh, I won’t,” said Amber, “not really. I’ve got my feet on the ground.” She raised her glass to toast the fact, and give it some much-needed bolstering.

When Suzie came back from the restroom she sat down heavily in her chair, as if exhausted by the excursion.

“What is it?” said Lydia. “Are you okay?”

Suzie chewed on her bottom lip. Lydia saw that she had used concealer under her eyes. Perhaps she wasn’t sleeping properly.

“I’m fine,” said Suzie. “No, I’m not. I’m worried about Maya. The principal called me into school the other day.”

“Mrs. Thesiger?” said Amber. “What did she want? I had to see her last year—remember Tyler and the graffiti in the bathroom business? She was very good about it, very calm. Is Maya in trouble now?”

“I wish she was,” said Suzie. She forced a smile, a flash of teeth, their bold irregularity.

“Is it her grades?” said Tevis. “I wouldn’t worry about that. She’s a smart kid. She’ll tune in when she’s good and ready. Or when the teacher actually has something interesting to say.”

“It’s not that,” said Suzie. “You remember how it was when you were in school, how all the kids banded together, kind of into categories? So at lunchtime you’d get the druggies sitting together, the jocks, the nerds?”

“The hippie types,” said Tevis, shaking her auburn hair in front of her eyes. “The Deadheads.”

“It’s still like that,” said Suzie, “only now you get these new groups. The anorexics, the cutters, girls who just want to . . .”

“Dissolve,” said Lydia.

“It’s a self-esteem issue,” said Tevis.

“Maya’s started hanging out with them,” said Suzie. “Mrs. Thesiger said she wanted to bring it to my attention.”

“With the anorexics or with the cutters?” said Amber.

“There’s an overlap, apparently.” Suzie chewed her lip again. “Anyway, she said maybe it would be a good idea for Maya to see the school counselor. When I got home I was shaking. Maya’s not even fourteen for another five months. She still plays on the swing in the yard. Then I got to thinking, she’s been saying all these things about her lunch box, about throwing food away, and I’ve just been ignoring them. What a shitty mother I am.”

“All mothers feel like bad mothers at least some of the time,” said Amber. “That’s what being a good mother means. You’re not a bad mother at all.”

“I don’t know,” said Suzie. “So when the school bus drops her off I practically pounce on her at the door. I try to talk to her about it but she gives me the most withering look. I mean, you should see this look. It could strip a tree of its leaves. And really, I want to slap her. Really, I do.”

“But you didn’t,” said Lydia.

“No, I didn’t. But you know she’s always wearing those long-sleeve T-shirts. I never get to see her arms. I’m not allowed in the bathroom when she’s taking a bath. So I grab her, I actually grab her, and I pull up her sleeves, and she’s got these little cuts up her left forearm.”

“What did you do?” said Tevis.

“What could I do? She won’t talk to me. I call Mike, he’s out on patrol, but he comes over, and she won’t talk to him either. She shuts herself in her room.” Suzie massaged her temples with her fingertips. Her short black hair tufted out and when she lowered her hands again, Amber stroked it gently down.

Amber said, “Have you arranged the school counselor yet?”

“Got an appointment right away. But Maya just sat there, apparently. Gave him the napalm stare.”

“I could try,” said Lydia. “If you want.”

Suzie looked at her gratefully. “Maya loves you. And Mike says I’ve got to lay off her and stop being so anxious. Says he’s going to take me down to the station and lock me in the cooler if I don’t calm down.”

“I’ll take her out somewhere,” said Lydia. “At the least we’ll have a nice evening.” She hoped Suzie’s gratitude would be justified.

“Let’s get another bottle,” said Tevis. “And I know we’re all going home to eat, but would anyone share a plate of antipasti and maybe a little garlic bread?”

They got more prosecco and a platter of antipasti, fava beans, artichoke hearts, red peppers, pecorino, and green and black olives, fat and garlicky.

Suzie said, “Mike won’t want me breathing on him tonight.” She smiled and the heaviness seemed to have lifted from her.

“Garlic is actually supposed to be good for your sex drive,” said Tevis.

“Where do you come up with this stuff ?” said Suzie.

Lydia was reassured by this return to form, Suzie throwing out quick jabs like affectionate little punches on the arm.

“I’ll bet you can’t keep your hands off him this evening,” said Tevis. “Then you’ll see who’s right.”

Suzie picked a whole clove of garlic out of the olive oil. She put it in her mouth. “Fat chance,” she said. “I can barely remember the last time we did it. Maybe a couple of months ago, maybe even three.”

“It can come and go in phases,” said Amber. “Is it you? Or is it him?”

“Me,” said Suzie. “I still find him attractive. We’re still affectionate with each other. It’s just . . . I find myself making excuses, you know, more and more these days.”

“That’s okay,” said Amber. “When I was married, and I didn’t feel like it, I’d go through with it anyway. Then he’d be kind of mad at me, because I wasn’t really into it. One time he just rolled off and snatched up his pillow and went to the spare bedroom. Said he’d had more fun picking his nose. Guess what I mean is, if you don’t feel like it then it’s good that you can say.”

“Your husband was an asshole,” said Tevis. “But we already knew that. Did you tell him where to get off ?”

Amber made a neat little grimace, wrinkling her nose. “No. I started faking, that’s what I did. You know, ooh, aah, oh yeah,
there,
shudder, gasp, collapse.”

“Ha,” said Tevis. “Every girl knows how.”

“It’ll come back,” Amber said to Suzie. “With you and Mike.”

“Sometimes,” said Suzie, “I fake that I’m asleep so he won’t try to start fooling around. Sometimes I fake a headache . . . I’m always so tired at the end of the day, it just seems like it’d be another chore, you know, like another load of laundry when you thought you were already done. And I can’t be bothered, honestly. I think maybe I’ll feel like it tomorrow, and then I never do.”

“Does he mind?” said Lydia. “Do you talk about it?”

“I mind!” said Suzie, sitting up and declaiming. “I mind. God, when I think back to how I used to be. Me not wanting sex? Please! I was the girl with the feather cut, the pink bomber jacket, the snuggest shorts, the hottest ass.”

The restaurant was starting to fill up with diners now and Lydia had to tuck in her chair to make more room for the table behind them to be seated. She glanced back at the elderly couple who was waiting courteously for Suzie to notice also and let them pass.

“Me and Mike, we got together in high school and we went at it. I mean we
went at it
. I could do it standing up. I could do it in a broom closet. I could do it in roller skates.”

“Roller skates?” said Amber.

“Roller skates, up against the wall. It was tricky,” said Suzie. “Now it feels like too much effort to even open my legs.”

“Suzie,” said Lydia. “You need to let these people through.”

“Oh, excuse me,” said Suzie, shuffling her chair. “I do apologize.”

“That’s okay, dear. Thank you,” said the lady. She held herself like a dancer, shoulders back, chin parallel to the floor, one foot pointing out at an elegant angle. She reached back for her husband’s hand. “About the sex, dear,” she said to Suzie. “You think your libido’s died. But it hasn’t, it’s just gone into hibernation. When it wakes up again—” She pulled her husband’s arm around her trim waist and leaned her head back so that they came cheek to cheek. “Well, it wakes up again and it is, simply and beautifully, the most marvelous surprise.”