Untraceable (43 page)

She wipes my tears with her thumbs and steps back a small step. “Dad? What do you mean?”

I clutch both of her hands and look her in the eyes. “Mom, I found him.” Before her eyes can reveal any hope, I break her heart once again. “He took a bullet for me and … then … then he died.”

Mom turns white as a ghost. A dazed look washes over her face as I summarize what happened as much as I can. She appears stunned. Then she tips her head to one side as if trying to hear what I’m saying. “You found him, but now he’s dead?”

Tears stream down my face. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I tried, but I couldn’t save him. He was hurt too bad.” I clutch onto her hands. “This is all my fault. He was alive, and I got him killed.”

Mom squeezes me hard. Her voice cracks when she talks like a bad radio connection. “No, it’s not. Grace, if you hadn’t found Sidehill, we may never have found your father at all.” She tucks my hair behind my ears. “This is not your fault. You did everything you could. You believed, when no one else did. Now we can at least bring him home.”

She’s talking through her own tears now as her arms tighten around me. “We’re going to be okay, Grace. I promise. You and me.” I nod and sob with her. Already missing Dad more than I can bear. She whispers hoarsely. “Let’s get you taken care of.” Before I can say anything, Mom waves both hands in the air. “Les! Over here!”

Les waddles out from behind a van. His arm is hanging in a bloody sling, and his face bruised with one eye swollen shut. My mouth drops open, and my body freezes for a second as I watch him lumber down the path. I assumed Al had killed him.

Les smiles at me. “Gracie, I’m so glad you are okay.”

When he walks up, I hug him as hard as I can. This time, I don’t let go. “I thought you were dead.”

His round cheeks turn a bit pink, and he squeezes me back. “Not yet.”

Before I can say anything, Mom whispers, “Grace found Joe. He’s dead.”

Les squeezes my good shoulder and fills his lip with tobacco. He plays with his hat. “I’m so sorry. How?”

“Dad tried to protect me so Al shot him. Al’s tied up along the path too.”

Les frowns. “Son of a bitch.” I watch him as he radios a couple men instructing them to find Al if it’s the last thing they do. He studies me. “You’re hurt. Let’s get you fixed up.”

I clear my throat. “Les? I’m so sorry I doubted you. I didn’t realize you were trying to help me in that cave. I thought you were one of them.”

He bends over and cups my shoulder. “Water under the bridge, Gracie. No need to speak of it again.”

I nod. “How’d you find me?”

Les spits on the ground. “Tommy called. He told me everything. About the bullets you found, about Sidehill. Mentioned you bolted off to find Sidehill. I called a friend of Joe’s at the USFWS.”

One word sticks out in my mind. I barely manage to choke out. “Tommy?”

Les lowers his head and fiddles with his cinched belt. “I’m sorry. I told him to let me handle it, but he was so worried about you. Said something about it bein’ his fault.”

I can’t blink, as if my eyes are super-glued open. My throat feels like sandpaper. “I can’t believe he’s … dead too.”

Mom butts in and clutches both of my shoulders to get my undivided attention. “No. Grace.” She smiles and strokes my hair. “He’s alive.”

Les nods. “He’s in pretty bad shape. But alive.”

My heart explodes with relief. My shoulders straighten and a small weight falls off my shoulder. “What? Where is he?”

Les points up the hill. “He’s there. We’re getting ready to wheel him up to the North Ridge so a helicopter can take him to the hospital.”

I rub my hands through my hair. “Unbelievable. Can I see him?”

Les nods. “Make it quick. He’s stable but needs medical attention.”

I take off up the hill, yelling at a man in a suit pushing a stretcher. “Wait!”

The paramedic stops as I run up. Tommy is lying down with tubes in his nose and eyes closed. A sheet soaked with blood is draped over him.

I swallow and whisper in his ear, not wanting to disturb him. “Tommy? Are you okay?”

He opens one eye. “Never better.” His voice is hoarse.

I rest my head on his chest and cry. “Tommy,
gaest-ost yuh-wa da-nv-ta.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t have to apologize, Elu.”

“This is all my fault. Please forgive me.”

His eyes look wet, tears stuck in the corners as he winces from pain. “How about we make a deal? I’ll forgive you if you forgive yourself.”

A lump rises in my throat thinking about Dad, not having the heart to tell him.

Tommy whispers. I lean down to hear him. His breath tickles the little hairs on my ear. “Don’t worry. I already know about Joe.”

I kiss his forehead and watch a tear roll down his face. “I tried.”

He sniffs and winces. “I know, Elu. I know.” He grips my hand and stares at his watch. “Think it’s time I got this fixed?”

I smile. “I thought time was nothing but an illusion.”

He takes in a raspy breath. “It was until I got more of it.”

I remove the watch from his wrist. “I’ll take care of it. It’s the least I can do.”

The paramedic interrupts us. “Miss Wells. We need to go ahead and transport him to the hospital. He’s in pretty bad shape but should recover just fine. Do you need a ride there?”

Mom walks up and answers for me. “Yes, thank you.” She twists my hair back into a ponytail like she did when I was a little girl.

I cross my fingers behind my back before asking him a question. “Sir? Do you know if anyone else survived?”

He nods. “A couple were detained and charged.”

“So some lived?”

“I think so.” He motions toward a few gurneys. “Those are the unlucky ones.”

My heart lifts. “So if someone’s not here, it means they could be alive?”

The man nods once. “That’s right.” The wheels squeak as he pushes Tommy up the path.

Mom speaks gently into my ear. “Try not to look, honey.”

I grip her arm as we head up the pathway. A couple of stretchers line up side by side, carrying bodies covered in black tarps. I spot a hand hanging out from underneath one of the covers.

Something’s dangling from the wrist.

My bracelet. The one Dad gave me. The one I gave him.

My breath sticks in my throat as I move closer. I feel my Mom clutch my arm to hold me back but I pull away.

If it’s Mo, I have to know for myself.

I stare at the facial features outlined under the cloth and reach out to clasp the edge of the sheet.

Just then, the man in a black suit blocks me with both arms straight out. “Trust me. You don’t want to see this.” He spins around and pushes Mo up the hill without another word.

I slump to my knees in a prayer position and watch the man load the body in a van. I bury my face in my hands and weep. Not just for Mo, but for everyone and everything that’s been murdered today. And I can’t help but feel I’m responsible for the deaths of all these men. I cry for Mo and Dad. I also shed some tears for me.

For the ray of hope in my heart that was so easily snuffed out.

For the broken vision of my future.

And for everything I’ve lost.

Visions of my time with Mo zoom past. I picture his beautiful smile. The way he called me blossom. Our kisses. Our laughs. Like a movie trailer, a bad montage of our short but very real relationship rolls on until the end.

I cry and spit and choke and cough. Afraid I’ll never care about anyone in that way again. How can I go back to being without him when he brought out so much in me?

Mom kneels down and is crying too. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry, sweetie. About everything.” I’m not sure if she even knows what or who Mo was to me. But nevertheless, somehow she understands and is finally here for me.

And this time, I let her be.

“I really cared about him.”

She whispers in my ear. “I know.”

As I wipe my face and nose on my t-shirt, Mom helps me to my feet. She clasps my hand and pulls me down the path.

Slowly, step by step, I walk away, leaving behind a piece of myself.

A piece that, someday, will be untraceable.

I stand out in the hallway of the U.S Fish and Wildlife Service building just outside town.

Les steps out of an office. “Sorry for calling you in here, Grace. I guess it’s standard procedure.”

My nerves jitter and twitter. “It’s okay, I understand.”

“They’ll call you in a couple of minutes.”

Before he turns away, I grab his arm. “Les, did you find out about Carl?”

Les bows his head. “Yeah. He didn’t make it. The wounds were too severe.”

My hand clasps over my mouth. “Oh no. Does Wyn know?”

“He and Skyler were with him at the end.”

Just then, we see Wyn exit the room next to us into the hallway, his hands stuffed in his pockets. His frazzled hair juts out in all directions and puffy, dark circles under his eyes make him look as though he’s been awake for weeks. He doesn’t even look like the same person. I’m used to seeing him smile, but now, he’s frowning. I’ve never seen him so broken.

I race up to him. “Wyn, are you okay? I heard about Carl. I’m so sorry.”

He stops for a second and mumbles, “And I’m sorry about your dad. He didn’t deserve all this.” Then he pushes me aside and walks past me in silence without another word.

I pace myself next to him. “Thanks. It was awful. I tried to call you a few times but you never picked up.”

Wyn keeps his eyes down and continues moving. Like a robot, every step is the same distance and the same pace.

I squeeze his arm and try to tease him a little to crack through the barrier he’s forced up. “You know, you can’t ignore me forever.”

He suddenly spins around and glares at me. “The hell I can’t. You’ve ruined my life.”

I stop in place, shocked at his strong reaction. “Wyn, I didn’t know Carl was involved, I swear. I tried to talk to him. But he was … crazy.”

He stares at me blankly with dark gray eyes. “Well,
you
would know.” His voice is cutting and cold. He takes in a breath and stares forward at the door.

My lip quivers. “Wyn, I had no idea who was behind all this. I thought it was Les.” I stop. Really, I just want to hold him and tell him I care about him and that we’re going to get back to where we were before all this happened. That everything will be okay. “Carl is the one who betrayed us all.”

He faces me and looks sad. “I know how he feels.”