Unwanted Stars (10 page)

"Shall we?" he asked.

"Um...yeah, I guess so," I said, urging my body to cooperate. My hands were clammy, my heart was racing, and I was nervous. So nervous. Which was so not me. Somehow, this man had an effect on me that no one else ever had. It scared me. No, it didn't just scare me. It petrified me.

"I love this bridge. It's gorgeous, isn't it?"

"Yes," I said, my voice small.

Campbell's brow knitted in concern. "Auden, is everything all right?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You seem distant. Did something happen today? With Anabelle?"

"No," I said, looking out into the water. "Just thinking."

"About me?" he said, a smug grin plastered to his handsome face. I shook my head in amusement, cracking a smile without meaning to.

"Perhaps.”

"Look," he said. "All kidding aside, I'm into you. You must know that by now."

"I do."

"But your job means everything to you. And it's not fair of me to ask you to risk it."

I said nothing, hoping he'd continue.

"So, if you want to call this off, if you want me to leave you alone, just say the word."

The thought of missing out on whatever this was with Campbell was more than I could handle. Without hesitation, I shook my head as I focused my eyes on his.

"I'm into you, too," I said. "A lot."

Campbell closed the space between us, whispering into my ear. "Then be with me."

I swallowed hard, closing my eyes and listening to his words. Craving them, wanting more. Wanting his hands on me. Knowing that'd be next to impossible out here in the public eye. Knowing that finding actual privacy would be just as impossible.

His hand was warm in my grip. I squeezed it in solidarity, wanting him to know his desire for me was reciprocated. He placed a gentle kiss on the tip of my ear, before leading me across the stone bridge.

Hand in hand we walked, gazing at the water, the tourists, and the shop owners of the market. We didn't say much, which felt odd at first, but the silence between us became soothing and calm. His hand in mine, the way his thumb grazed over my fingers, was all I needed to feel content.

Street lamps were the only light to be found by the time the water bus was back in our sights. Campbell stopped walking. His eyes were on fire as he took me in with his eyes. His need for me was obvious.

"Come with me," he said, pulling me to the side of a building. One small street lamp shined dim with burnt orange light. I leaned my back against the stucco, feeling its cold, bumpy texture. Campbell placed his hand against the building, just above my shoulder. His other hand pressed to my hip.

"I can't let you go yet," he said, his eyes searching mine.

Brave Auden finally decided to make her appearance.

"Good," I said, lifting my chin. His eyes widened, pleased with my response.

"Why?" he asked, exploring my neck with his lips.

"Why what?" I played dumb, yanking back the control once again.

"Why is that good?" he asked, placing gentle kisses along my jaw line.

"Because..." That simple word hung in the air for several moments. Campbell continued to seduce my skin with his lips and I did my best to slow down my breathing.

"Tell me.”

"Because..."

"Tell me," he repeated.

"I want you.” The words left my mouth in a whisper.

Campbell stopped his kisses, and I could feel his cheek against my neck. It was puffing out, forming a satisfied smile.

"Tell me again," he pulled back, gazing into my eyes.

I swallowed, unsure if I should say it again but terrified at the thought of not saying it.

"I-I...I want you.” I was trying desperately to hide my fear, my anxiety, my lack of self-control around this man.

"You're exquisite." His fingers drifted down the sides of my face before he cupped his hands to my cheeks and kissed me. Hard.

His tongue entered my mouth immediately and I stroked him with mine. Delicious strokes that left me wanting more. And more. His fingers wove through my hair, pulling gently at the base of my scalp. My back dug into the stucco, but I didn't care.

Harder and harder he pressed me into the building, my arms wrapped around his neck as his hands wandered down to grip my ass, hoisting my legs around him, my heels digging into the small of his back. He was hard beneath his jeans and the feel of him was intoxicating.

Campbell pulled his mouth from mine, pushing me up further so that his lips were level with my chest. Slowly, he unbuttoned the top buttons of my tunic, exposing the lace of my bra.

"So sexy," he said, running his fingers across the lace, causing goose bumps to rise along my arms and legs.

"Say it again," I said, enjoying his appreciation of my body.

"You're so fucking sexy I can hardly stand it."

"You want me, don't you?" I smirked, teasing him.

"You know I do," he said, before dipping his head to my chest, stroking the skin beneath the lace with his tongue. A moan escaped my lips as I pressed my hips into his arousal.

The water bus let out three long sounds of the horn.

"Shit," Campbell said, knowing that was the signal for last boat of the night.

"Last call. We'd better...um, we should probably go.”

"I know, but..."

"I know," I said, pressing my forehead to his. "I know."

Slowly, he lowered me to the ground, buttoning my top for me and smoothing down my hair. Such a gentleman. He was practically devouring me just a minute prior, but when reality resurfaced, so did his chivalrous nature.

We ran to the water bus, hands again interlocked, but when a few members of the tour hopped on the boat, my hands jumped quickly to my lap. We remained detached all the way back to our hotel, saying a casual goodbye for the night, knowing the tour members eyes were upon us.

And so, this morning, as the clock continued to taunt me from the bedside table, I sat, holding a new matchbook—one that slid under my door just a few minutes ago. I jumped out of bed to retrieve it, flinging back the cardboard flap, ignoring the sting of my back and the soreness in my thighs.

Holy crap on a mother fucking cracker. My skin tingled all the way down to my toes. Checking the calendar, I realized I had thirteen more days with Campbell. The man I knew almost nothing about...aside from his smile, that damn dimple on his cheek, and the husky velvet tone of his voice. The man who sent desire through every inch of my body. The man who not only
called me
sexy, but who made me
feel
sexy. And I was determined to make those thirteen days count.

I'd avoided calling my mom back for days, but I couldn't avoid it anymore. I was a drama queen, yes, but a crap-ass daughter I was not. My mom was worried, and I didn't want her to be. I'd already scolded Hadley for revealing the nature of my needy text. She apologized immediately, knowing a tongue lashing was coming her way. She knew I was private when it came to my love life...I didn't share a lot with my mother. We'd never really been super close in that way like Hadley and her mom Allison once were, but we were close in our own way. My mom loved me, she'd do anything for me. It wasn't her fault that I didn't let her in enough to consider her my friend in addition to being my mom.

She picked up immediately. "Oh thank God, honey. You've had me worried sick."

"Mom, I'm fine. Sorry I didn't call. It's been crazy."

"I'll bet. Tell me all about it," she said, her voice enthusiastic and light. This was my chance to tell her about Campbell, the man who made the pit of my stomach feel hollow, who made me ache and yearn and trip over my words.

But instead of telling her all about him, I choked. I stuck to business. I avoided talking about my heart.

"Italy's been a trip. Today's our final day, thank goodness."

"Then where to?" she asked.

"Switzerland."

"Nice," she said. "Your father loves Lucerne."

"That's where we're going."

"That's wonderful, honey."

Silence.

Too much silence.

Awkward pauses are fine and I usually don't mind them. But awkward pauses with my mother bring on all kinds of tension. Like I should be telling her more. Like I should be sharing everything with her the way Hadley did with Allison. Like I'm a crap-ass daughter. It's bad enough my mom has to deal with the anger storm that is my sister Maya. I don't want her to regret giving birth to girls in general, so I try to keep her content. But there's a reason why Jason is the favorite—because Charlotte Kelly was cursed with two pain in the ass daughters and one very loyal, very kind son. Fucking Jason.

"Are you happy?" she asked. Her voice was hopeful.

"Very," I said. "Seriously, Mom. Don't worry."

"I can't help it. You're my baby, Auden."

"I know."

"You'll always be my baby."

"I know that too," I said with a shallow sigh. "You tell me all the time."

"It's a mother's right. One day you'll understand."

"
If
I have kids," I said mockingly. I couldn’t help it. I loved to razz my mother. I do want kids. I do. But I like to give her hell, make her pay attention, keep her on her toes. It's always been our dynamic. And I have to admit that I kinda stopped feeling bad about that a long time ago.

"Right.
If
."

"How are you, Mother dear?" I asked, twirling my hair with my finger.

"I finally heard back from Poetry Magazine. They're going to publish two of my poems."

"Mom, that's awesome!" Almost a year ago she submitted several of her poems, hoping to see them in print. Poetry Magazine was
the
magazine that all poets hoped to be featured in. This was huge for her.

"Thanks," she said. I could tell she was grinning from ear to ear, but then she cleared her throat and her tone of voice changed. "Oh, and I spoke with Nan. She and Granddad are doing well. I was surprised to hear that their granddaughter has yet to visit..."

"Mom," I groaned. "I will, I promise. But I'm
kinda
in the middle of a huge tour. I can't exactly get on a train back to London." I couldn't hide the irritation in my voice. I just started this job for God's sake!