Unworthy Heart: The Donnellys, Book 1 (27 page)

Glancing back, he watched Maiya as she took a seat. When he neared the guys, Jimmy tossed him the ball. Ryan ran toward him, taking him to the ground in a full tackle.
Aw yeah, this is so on!
Jacob jumped on top of both of them, giggling his little head off. A few minutes later, laughter reached his ears from the direction of the ladies. Like he’d thought, Maiya fit right in. Life was definitely good.

Ryan hung with his brothers, and then with Maiya, then back to his brothers. Later, everyone gathered around the patio for dinner. His sisters kept Maiya included in their conversations and his brothers teased her whenever they had the chance. She laughed and talked with everyone, carving out a space among them like she’d done with him.

After dinner, he carried an empty potato salad bowl into the kitchen and found his mother at the counter. “Thanks, Mom. This was nice.”

“It
was
nice.” She ran her hands over her hair. “So…?”

“Hmm?” He walked to the sink to rinse out the bowl and put it in the dishwasher. Jimmy was already there, washing pans by hand.

Jimmy set a pot to dry on the rack. “Dude, you know she wants the DL on Maiya.”

“You button it up and wash the dishes.” Ryan plucked him in the back of the head.

“Oh, you are
so
gonna get payback for that when you least expect it,” Jimmy said.

“Not in my kitchen.” Their mother sat at the table. “Are you serious about her?”

Ryan approached her and leaned a hip against the island counter. “I’m curious. What do you think, Mom?”

“I think you never bring women around, yet you brought this one. So, yes, I think you’re serious about her.” Crossing her legs, she propped her elbow on her knee, resting her chin on her fist.

“I think I might be.”

“Jimmy says she’s senior to you at your company.”

Ryan glanced over his shoulder at Jimmy. “Did he now?”

“I plead the fifth.” Jimmy scrubbed the pot in front of him.

“I think she’s amazing, Mom.” Blowing out a breath, Ryan ran his fingers through his hair. “She’s got so many different layers, and I want to know all of them.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “The tattoos? Do they bother you?”

His mother laughed, and motioned to Jimmy. “Uh…”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “True.”

“Stuff like that doesn’t matter to your father or me. You know that. I will say, I was a bit surprised when I first saw them, but only because she looks more like Jimmy’s type, not yours.”

“Weird, huh?”

“Just unexpected, yet I see how you two have been looking at each other all evening. There’s definitely something there. I’m happy for you, just…” She tilted her head to the side, a thoughtful smile gracing her lips. “Take it slow. Let it grow, son.”

“Feelings have grown pretty quick with her. Like an instant connection. I don’t know if slow is in the cards, but I hear you.”

Jimmy strolled over, a dishtowel thrown over one shoulder. “Mom, he’s been denying his feelings since I’ve been home. If you ask me, he needs to make her his girl already.”

“No one asked you, boy wonder.” Ryan chuckled and caught the towel mid-air when his brother tossed it at him. “Well, at least not today.”

“You’ll figure it out.” His mother stood. “Take it outside before I beat both your butts. Don’t think I won’t just because you’re grown. Vamoose. Out of my kitchen, now.” She laughed and walked back outside.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Maiya stayed quiet in the front seat, listening to the music play from the radio on the ride back to Ryan’s home. The whole evening had been overwhelming in a wonderful sort of way. Jacob was out like a light, snoozing in the backseat. Poor kid had tired himself out playing with his cousins.

It was interesting seeing Ryan’s family interact with one another. She’d had friends growing up who had siblings, but most of those kids were from the same trailer park and didn’t have the best families. Not all, but most.

Aside from the few times she’d gone to her college roommate’s home for visits, she hadn’t been around a family like Ryan’s. Of course, they had to have their faults, no family was without them, but they were the closest thing to the Brady Bunch she’d ever encountered.

They’d charmed her for sure. She shouldn’t have been surprised since it was exactly how Ryan made her feel most of the time too. She fit, but didn’t
exactly
fit, which she realized, made no sense at all.

Ryan rubbed her thigh. “Whatcha thinking about?”

“I should call my mother and check in on her.”

“Probably a good idea.”

“I usually hear from her when I’m gone, but she’s been oddly quiet this week. I have to admit I’m a little worried.”

“You want to call now, or wait until we get to the house?”

“I’ll wait.” She placed her hand over his and twined their fingers. “Thank you for taking me to meet your family. Or at least some of them. My God, you have a huge family.”

“You’re welcome.” He raised their clasped hands and kissed her fingers. “You fit right in. Just like I said you would.”

“I don’t know about that.” She brushed a stray hair away from her eyes. “Everyone was really nice though. I had fun.”

“You’ll see them more.”

“I can’t even imagine what the holidays must be like there.”

“Stick around, Maiya Rossini.” He glanced at her. “You’ll get to see firsthand.”

“Oh, boy.” What in God’s name did he mean by that? He couldn’t have meant that he thought they’d still be involved by the time the holidays rolled around, could he? She wasn’t sure she should ask.

When they got inside the house, Ryan carried Jacob upstairs and got him settled in bed and Maiya found her spot on the back porch and called her mother.

It rang until the voicemail picked up. “Hmm, that’s odd.” It was only nine p.m. She dialed again, and got the voicemail once more. Her mother wasn’t out because she didn’t go anywhere. She preferred the ass print worn into her despicable recliner to visiting someone. Maybe she was asleep. Maiya smoked a much-needed cigarette, and then made her way upstairs when she was done.

Ryan was coming out of Jacob’s room, and he pulled her into his arms. “How’s your mom?”

“I didn’t reach her. She must be sleeping or something. Odd for her not to answer though.” She nipped at his chin. “I’ll try her in the morning.”

He ran his hands down her back to her ass. “There’s something I need to show you in here.” He motioned with his head toward his bedroom.

“Oh really?” She smirked, and he walked her backward into the room and then shut the door behind them with his foot. “Slick.”

Catching Maiya off guard, he scooped her up under her arms and tossed her onto the bed like he’d done the other night. She yelped when she landed and burst into giggles.

He tackled her with a growl. “I’ll show you slick.” He helped her out of her shirt, and then ran his lips and tongue over the expanse of skin he exposed.

When she was naked, he stood and removed his clothes and then stretched out beside her. Without preamble, she straddled his hips, and slid his hard length into her channel. Riding him at an easy pace, Maiya made love to him. Rolling her body in time with the rise and fall of his pelvis. Ryan sat up and wrapped his arms tight around her waist, holding her in place against his body, and they both tumbled over the edge into climax.

Paradise—sweet, unadulterated paradise. And while she struggled to catch her breath, Maiya became aware of only one thought: she wasn’t sure if she could ever again deny the need to experience the paradise that was Ryan Donnelly.

Ryan rolled over and lay beside Maiya, holding her tight to his chest.

Curling against him, she shivered a little. “Let’s get under the covers.”

“I’m all for that.” He tugged the blankets from beneath them and then covered them. Maiya rolled to her side and backed herself against his chest. Pulling her close, Ryan nuzzled her soft hair and traced the lines of her arm to her waist and then down to her thigh. “Tell me about your brother?”

“It’s a sad story. Why do you want to hear that?”

“Because it’s part of your past. Part of who you are.” He kissed her shoulder. “I want to hear about it.”

She took a deep breath and let it out. “All right, but don’t get all weird if I start to cry. It happens sometimes.”

Keeping quiet, he held her close to his chest. He wanted to know so much about her, especially the things that made her vulnerable, yet strong.

“Once upon a time my mother was a Vegas showgirl. Did I tell you that?”

He smiled against her hair. “Wow. No you didn’t. Must be where you got your talent for dancing.”

“Ha, maybe. It didn’t last too long though. She lost the job. I still have no idea why, maybe too much partying, but once she lost it, she became a stripper. Nice huh?”

“Ah, baby, it’s okay. I’m not going to judge her or you.”

She took another deep breath, as if she needed to calm herself again. Aside from the understandable sadness over the loss of her brother, he couldn’t understand what made her so reluctant to tell him.

“Anyway, that’s when her drinking really escalated. I mean, she always drank, but after she lost the showgirl gig, she took a swim in the deep end of the booze pool and never came out.” Wrapping her arm around his, she pulled it closer to her chest. “Jeremy was four years older than me. He took care of me a lot when Mom worked, and when she went off the deep end he had to take care of me pretty much all the time. She was never home and when she was, she slept most of the time.

“I was young, but I was pretty rebellious. You know, not coming home right after school like I was supposed to, stuff like that. My poor brother.” She shook her head. “Fourteen years old and he’s stuck home taking care of my rambunctious ass. I’m sure he hated it, but he never acted like it, at least not to me.”

“I have this vision of what you must have looked like at ten. You were probably adorable.” Chuckling, he kissed her shoulder.

She giggled and wiggled her hips. “Someday I’ll show you a picture. I was a skinny bean. No hips, no tits and long skinny legs, but I sure believed I was hot shit.”

“Still do. Go on.” He was trying to help lighten the mood a little because he had a feeling in a few minutes, when she got into the meat of the story, there’d be no humor to be found.

“Whatever.” She chuckled. “Anyway…it was a Wednesday and Jeremy had football practice. I was supposed to go with him, but I blew it off. More interested in hanging out with my friends, I guess. Of course, Jeremy came to find me.” She shivered, and then pressed closer to him, but he knew it had nothing to do with being cold.

“When he finally tracked me down, I was on one of the main street corners near our trailer park. Man, he looked pissed. I saw him waiting to cross the intersection, and I ran with my friends, away from him, because I knew he was gonna tear into me, and I didn’t want to hear it. I guess he ran after me. I heard him yell my name once and then tires squealing and someone screamed.” She pulled her hand away from his and fisted it in front of her mouth.

Ryan cupped her hand in his for a moment and then stroked her hair while she cried without making a sound. Her body shook in his arms and it resonated deep in his heart. He thought about telling her to stop, that she didn’t need to go on, but he didn’t. It was selfish, but he hoped it might bring her closer to him to open up in this way.

After a minute, she began again—her voice thick with tears. “One of my friends grabbed me and we turned around and ran back toward the intersection. I couldn’t see Jeremy, but a cab had stopped just past the crosswalk.” Her voice shook as she spoke through her sobs. “There was a crowd already gathering, and when we got closer I saw him. He was lying on the ground, a pool of blood beneath his head.”

She stopped talking then and wept. Ryan urged her to turn over, and when she did, he wrapped her in his arms.

Maiya buried her face in his neck and cried for what seemed like forever before continuing. “It was my fault. He’d run after me instead of waiting for the light to change. Fucking cabbies are lunatics in Vegas, but Jeremy had stepped right into oncoming traffic. It was my fault. If I hadn’t run, or had gone home to begin with, Jeremy’d still be here.”

Ryan stroked her hair and back, remaining silent and letting her cry it out in his arms. The depth of her pain was palpable and his heart shattered into a million pieces for her.

“It was my fault—all my fault. I should’ve been home.”

He placed his finger under her chin, raising her face to meet his. He let his gaze roam over her shadowed features. She was beautiful, even as she cried. “You were a child, Maiya.” He kissed the tears on her cheeks. “It wasn’t your fault, baby.”

“But—”

Holding his forefinger over her lips, he quieted her. “Baby, this couldn’t possibly be your fault. You were a child. So was Jeremy. He shouldn’t have had to take care of you to begin with.”

“But I know it was. Because of what I did and also, she told me it was.”

“Who?” She lay her head back down on his chest and he stroked through her hair. “Who on earth would lay such a burden on a child?”

She sniffled. “My mother.”

Fierce protectiveness and anger bloomed inside Ryan’s chest. How in the hell did a mother tell her young daughter it was her fault such a horrible and traumatizing accident happened? His mind rejected the thought that a mother would be that cruel. He kissed her forehead. God, he hoped her mother hadn’t meant it. “Ah, baby,” he crooned. “She couldn’t have meant it. She must know it wasn’t your fault.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Maiya took a deep breath and coughed. Her chest felt tight, and her head ached. Most likely a hangover from her emotional confession to Ryan last night. Maiya cringed. How embarrassing—she’d cried like a damn baby.

She couldn’t believe she’d told him all about how Jeremy died. Except, the whole time, he’d held her in his gentle arms listening, and then tried his damnedest to relieve her guilt. She wasn’t sure anything would ever be powerful enough to absolve her, but she cherished the fact that he tried. Maybe he cared about her more than she thought.

Ryan stirred behind her. He ran a warm hand up her thigh and nuzzled her hair. “Mmm. Morning, baby.”

“Morning.” She smiled at the feel of the other good morning pressing against her backside. “I see you’re both up.”

“Hey, not my fault. You’re the one with a delectable ass pressed against my dick. A man can only take so much, you know.” He nipped her shoulder.

“Likely story,” she scoffed. “Blame me, huh? I’m so getting first dibs on the shower for that one, pal.” Getting up, she swayed her hips from side to side on her way to the bathroom. “And no, I’m not sharing.” He growled and she stuck her tongue out at him before shutting the door.

Starting the shower, she stepped under the spray and proceeded to wash away the tears from last night. Maiya closed her eyes tight. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess of past, present and future as the water ran down her body to the drain.

She’d never confessed the guilt she harbored over Jeremy’s death to anyone or also that her mother blamed her. Never before had she let herself be this vulnerable with anyone and as a result she felt raw. But his tender response touched a part of her soul where no one had dared to venture before. Where she’d let no one touch before.

When she stepped back into the bedroom, Ryan was getting dressed. “I grabbed a shower in the other bathroom. Save time, since we overslept a bit.” He buttoned his shirt.

“Good thinking. I’ll head down and get breakfast going.” She turned to walk out.

“Hey, c’mere.”

“Hmm?”

“Come here.”

Pivoting, Maiya approached him.

“Morning, again.” Leaning forward, he kissed her. “Think you might want to stay through the weekend?” He stepped away and grabbed his tie, looping it around his neck.

Maiya raised her brows in surprise. “Oh. Um. To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about the fact that I’m supposed to fly home today. Damn.” She frowned and a knot formed in her throat. Did she want to stay? “Either way, I probably need to get home and check on my mother. Speaking of which, I need to call her.”

“I understand. It was just a thought.” He frowned a bit and then faced the mirror.

He looked disappointed.
Shit.
Maiya didn’t want to disappoint him. Ever. All this time, she was convinced he’d be the one administering any hurt feeling between them. It wouldn’t be her, yet here she was. The shoe being on the other foot turned the lump in her throat to acid. She chewed her thumbnail. “Let me give her a call and see how she’s doing. I’m not promising anything, but we’ll see. Okay?”

“It’s all good, baby. Just figured I’d ask.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Double shit.

In the kitchen, she made Jacob a bowl of oatmeal, gave him a kiss on the top of his head and made her way to the back patio. Coffee, cigarette and cell phone in hand, she dialed her mother’s number and got no answer. Again. Disconnecting the call, she tried again. No answer.

What the hell was going on? Feeling more than a little panicked, she dialed the next-door neighbor. Maiya asked Mrs. Janowick to go over and check on her mother. The woman had lived next door for over ten years, and she and Joanie had swapped keys long ago. Leaning back in the lounger, she lit another cigarette and held the phone in her palm, willing it to ring.

Ryan poked his head out the door. “Everything okay?”

“I can’t reach my mother. I’m getting worried.”

Ryan stepped outside, mug of coffee in hand.

“I called the neighbor and asked her to go over and check. I’m waiting for her to call back.”

Sitting on the edge of the lounge, he rubbed her leg. “I’m sure she’s fine. Try not to worry.”

“I know. But she never leaves the house, so it’s weird she isn’t answering.” Maiya sipped her coffee. “You make the best coffee.”

“Thanks.” He chuckled. “But I think you made this batch, so the credit goes to you.”

“Oh. Yeah. Damn, I’m distracted this morning. I’m not going to be worth a shit today if I don’t hear back from her.”

He took her hand and kissed the palm. “It’ll be fine, baby. Deep breath.”

Thirty long minutes later while Maiya was getting her things together, her phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Maiya, I couldn’t wake her up. I tried, but she wasn’t responding. I called an ambulance, sweetheart,” Mrs. Janowick said.

“Oh my God!” Maiya grabbed her purse.

“I’m sorry; this was the first chance I had to call you back.”

“It’s okay. Where are they taking her?”

“University Medical Center. Are you home?”

Maiya shoved her sweater in her briefcase. “No, I’m in L.A. for work. I’ll be on the next flight out of here.”

“I’ll head over to the hospital now. Oh, your poor mother.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Janowick. I’ll be there as soon as I land.” Maiya disconnected the call.

Ryan came into the kitchen. “What happened?”

“They’ve taken her to the hospital. She was unconscious. Oh God, Ryan, I should’ve known last night. I should’ve done something.” Her voice raised about three octaves as panic spread through her. “I have to fly home right now.”

“Easy, Maiya. I’ll get the flight changed for you.”

She rubbed her forehead. “Fuck. Shit. Okay. Yes, thank you. Thank you.”

She needed to get home. Now.