Unwrapping Her Italian Doc (7 page)

L
OUISE AWOKE TO
the sound of the domestic’s floor polisher in the hallway and the even happier sound of no pager, which meant nothing had happened with Emily and so she padded out to the ward.

‘How is she?’ Louise asked Evie.

‘Very good,’ Evie said. ‘She’s slept mostly through and her back ache has eased and the contractions have stopped.’ She looked at Louise, who was yawning. ‘Why don’t you go home?’

‘I’m going to have a shower and then I’ll see Emily over to her room before I do just that.’

‘Well, the royal suite is empty.’ Evie smiled as she used the name they all called it. ‘I’ll go and set it up.’

‘I’ll do that when I’ve had my shower,’ Louise said, smiling when she heard Anton’s voice.

‘Morning, Louise,’ Anton said, looking all the more handsome for not having shaven. ‘How did you sleep?’

‘Oh, I went out like a light,’ Louise answered. She headed off to the shower and had to wash with the disinfectant soap used for washing hands. Smelling like a bathroom cleaner commercial, she headed out to set up the room for Emily.

It was hardly a royal suite but it had its own loo and
was more spacious than others and there was a trundle bed if Hugh wanted to stay. Louise checked the oxygen and suction and that there were pads and vomit bowels and suchlike.

Anton checked in on Emily and was very happy with her lack of progress and agreed that she could be moved.

‘Every day that you don’t go into labour is a good day,’ Anton said, as Louise helped her onto the bed. ‘For now you are on strict bed rest and that means bedpans.’

‘Okay.’ Emily nodded. She wasn’t going to argue if it meant her baby stayed put. ‘I feel much more positive today.’ She looked over at Louise. ‘You can go home now.’

‘I am,’ Louise said. ‘But you’re to text me with anything you want me to bring in for you. I can visit tonight or tomorrow. I’m off for two days now but—’

‘I’ll text you,’ Emily interrupted, because Louise lived by her phone and they texted each other most days anyway.

As they headed out—Anton to start his shift, Louise to commence her days off—he asked if he could have a word with her in his office.

‘Sure,’ Louise said.

She knew what was coming and immediately she broached it. ‘Don’t worry, I get that last night was an aberration.’ She saw him frown. ‘A one-off.’

Anton wasn’t so sure. He had no regrets about last night and he looked at the woman standing before him and wanted to get to know her some more, but before he did there was something that he first needed to know.

‘This referral, are you sure that now is the right time?’

‘Very sure,’ Louise said. ‘I’ve been thinking about it for close to a year.’

‘Okay …’ Anton said, because that alone was enough for him to ensure last night remained an
aberration
, although still he would like to give them a chance. ‘Why don’t you wait a while? Maybe we can—?’

‘Anton, I already have waited a while. I’m twenty-nine years old and for twenty-eight of those years I have wanted a baby. I didn’t just dress up my dollies and put them in a pram, Anton, I used to put them up my dress …’ Anton smiled as she carried on. ‘I’m not brilliant at relationships.’

‘Why would you say that?’

‘Oh, I’ve gathered quite a list of the reasons over the years.’ Louise started to tick off on her fingers. ‘I’m high maintenance, vain, obsessed with having a baby, inappropriate at times … I could go on but you get the drift. And, yes, I am all of those things and shall happily continue to be them. But, while relationships may not be my forte, I do know for a fact that I shall be a brilliant mum. So many women do it themselves these days.’

‘Even so …’

‘It’s not a decision I’ve come to lightly. I’ve sat on it for close to a year and so, if I could have that referral, it would be completely brilliant.’

He wrote one out for her there and then. ‘I’ll let his secretary know this morning. When you call ask to speak to her because Richard is very booked up too.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Louise …’

‘Anton.’ She turned round. She did not want to hear now how they might stand a chance, and she did not want to be put off her dream. One of the reasons she was attracted to him perhaps was that he had been so
unobtainable and she wanted that to remain the same. ‘Don’t be such a girl!’

Six feet two of testosterone stood there and smiled as she continued.

‘It was fun, there can be more fun, just as long as it’s conducted well away from work, but I
am
going ahead with this.’

He said nothing as she stepped out and Louise didn’t really want him to. She didn’t want to hear that maybe they could give it a go. She had fancied him for ever, since the moment she had first laid eyes on him, and now, when the year she had given herself to come to her decision was almost up, when her dream was in sight, Anton was suddenly interested.

Why couldn’t he have left it at sex?

That, Louise could deal with.

It was the relationship part that terrified her.

Louise went and visited her family that morning and told them what was going on with Emily. When she got home Emily texted, asking her to go shopping for some nightwear but that there was no rush. And she added …

Something suitable, Louise!!!

Louise killed a couple of happy hours choosing nightwear for a pregnant, soon-to-be breastfeeding woman, while pretending she was shopping for herself. She did her level best to buy not what she’d like but what she guessed Emily would like, and, finally home, she thought about Anton and what had happened.

Not just their kiss and things, more the revelation that he liked her.

She had always been herself with him. Almost, since the day they had met, she had actually
practised
being herself with him. Anton had no idea just how much he had helped her. Not once had he told her to tone it down as she’d gradually returned to the woman she once had been.

She didn’t particularly want Anton to know just how bad things had been. In fact, as her fingers traced the scar on her scalp and her tongue slid over the crown on her front tooth, she could not imagine telling him what had happened in her past—it would be a helluva lot to dump on him.

Louise let out a breath as she recalled her family’s and friends’ reactions.

It had been Emily she had called on Boxing Day and Rory too.

Rory, whose friendship she had dumped, had, when she’d needed him, patched her up enough to go and face her parents at least.

No, she did not even want to think of Anton’s reaction to her tale so she pushed all thoughts of that away and pulled out the referral letter and made the call she had been waiting for ever to make.

Anton must have rung ahead as promised because when Louise spoke to the secretary she was told that there had been a cancellation and that she could see Richard the following Wednesday at ten a.m. Louise checked her diary on her phone and saw that she was on a late that day.

Perfect!

Louise put down the phone and did a little happy dance.

Finally, possibly, her baby was on the way!

E
VERY QUESTION THAT
Louise had, and there were many, was answered.

Susan had come to Louise’s appointment with her and Louise was very glad to have her mother by her side. She knew she would probably forget half of what was said later. Also it was easier if her mother understood what was happening first hand.

Richard ordered a full screening, along with a pelvic ultrasound, and did a thorough examination, as well as looking through the app she had on her phone that charted all her dates.

‘We have counsellors here and I really suggest that you take up my suggestion and make an appointment. The next step is to await all the blood results and then I’ll see you in the new year and we’ll look at the ways we can go ahead.’

Louise nodded.

‘But you think I’ll probably end up having IVF?’ Louise said, because that was the impression she had got during the consultation. She was nervous that the fertility drugs might produce too many eggs but with IVF it was more controlled and Louise only wanted one
embryo put back. Richard had even discussed egg sharing, which would give Louise one round of IVF free.

‘I’m leaning that way, given your irregular cycle and that you want to avoid a multiple pregnancy, but right now I’d suggest you carry on with the iron and folic acid till we get the results back. We might put you on something stronger once they’re in. For now, go and have a good Christmas.’

Louise made an appointment for the second week in January, when Richard returned from his Christmas break, and she made an appointment for an ultrasound and then went and had all the bloodwork done as well.

‘Aren’t you going to book the counsellor?’ Susan asked.

‘Why would I need to see one?’ Louise said. ‘You didn’t have to see one before you had your three children.’

‘True,’ Susan responded, ‘but before we went in you said that you were going to do
everything
he suggests.’

‘And I am,’ Louise said, ‘apart from that one.’

Louise’s cheeks were unusually pink as they walked down the corridor. Her mind was all ajumble because even as little as a couple of weeks ago she’d have happily signed up to talk to someone. She was one hundred per cent sure that she wanted this.

Or make that ninety-nine point nine per cent positive.

‘Have you got time for a quick lunch before your shift?’ Susan asked.

She did have time but unfortunately that point one per cent, or rather Anton, was already in the canteen and Louise was very conscious of him as they got their meals. Fortunately the table that Susan selected was quite far away from where Anton sat.

‘Well, all I can say is that he was a lot better than the GP,’ Susan said. ‘Do you feel better for having seen him?’

‘I do.’

‘You’re very quiet all of a sudden.’

Louise didn’t know whether or not to say anything to her mum.

Actually, she didn’t know if there even was anything to discuss. She and Anton had returned to business as usual after the other night. She was being far less flirtatious and Anton was checking up on her work even more than usual, if that was possible.

‘I think I like someone, Mum,’ Louise admitted. ‘I’m a bit confused, to be honest.’

‘Does he know that you like him?’

Louise nodded. ‘And he also knows I’m doing this but I think if I continue to go ahead then it takes away any chance for us. I don’t even know if I want us to have a chance.’

Susan asked what should have been a simple question. ‘What’s he like?’

‘I don’t really know.’ Louise gave a wry laugh. ‘I know what he’s like at work and I find him a bit …’ She hesitated. ‘Well, he’s very thorough with his patients and I’m pretty used to doctors dismissing and overriding midwives …’ Louise thought for a long moment before continuing. ‘I’ve just fancied him for a long time but nothing ever happened and now, when I’ve decided to do this, he seems to want to give us a try.’

‘How long have you liked him for?’ Susan asked.

‘About six months.’

‘And if he’d tried anything six months ago, what would you have done?’

‘Run a mile.’

‘If he’d tried anything three months ago, what would you have done?’

‘Run a mile,’ Louise admitted.

Only now was she truly healing.

‘Do you want to give it a try?’

‘I think so,’ Louise said, ‘but I want this so much too.’

She wanted back her one hundred per cent and her unwavering certainty she was finally on the right path. Unthinkingly she looked across the canteen and possibly the cause of her indecision sensed it, because Anton glanced over and briefly met her gaze.

‘I don’t see a problem.’ Susan picked up her knife and fork and brought Louise back to the conversation. ‘You don’t have an appointment till the second week of January and Richard did say to go and enjoy Christmas. Have some fun, heaven knows, you deserve it. Maybe just try not to think about getting pregnant for a few weeks.’

Louise nodded, though her heart wasn’t in it. Her mum tried, she really did, but she simply couldn’t get it. Getting pregnant wasn’t something Louise could shove in a box and leave in her wardrobe and drag it out in a few weeks and pick up again—it was something she had been building towards for a very long time.

She glanced over and saw that Anton was walking out of the canteen. There had been so little conversation of late between them that Susan could never have guessed the topic of their conversation had just walked past them.

‘Think about counselling,’ Susan suggested again.

‘Why would I when I’ve got you?’ Louise smiled.

‘Ah, but since when did you tell me all that’s going on?’

Her mother was right, she didn’t tell her parents everything. ‘Maybe I will,’ Louise said, because this year had been one of so many changes. Even as little as a month or so ago she’d have died on the spot had Anton responded to one of her flirts. She was changing, ever changing, and every time she felt certain where she was heading, the road seemed to change direction again.

No.

Louise refused to let go of her dream.

‘I need to get to my shift.’

‘And I need to hit the shops.’ Susan smiled. ‘Come over at the weekend, I’ll make your favourite.’

‘I shall,’ Louise said, and gave her mum a kiss goodbye. ‘I’ll give you a call. Thanks for coming with me today.’

Louise’s patient allocation was a mixed bag between Stephanie and Anton’s patients and all were prenatal patients, which meant no baby fix for Louise this shift.

‘Hi, Carmel, I’m Louise,’ she introduced herself to a new patient. Carmel had been admitted via the antenatal clinic where she had been found to have raised blood pressure. ‘How are you?’

‘Worried,’ Carmel said. ‘I thought I was just coming for my antenatal appointment and I find out my blood pressure’s high and that the baby’s still breech. I’m trying to sort out the other children.’

‘This is your third?’

Carmel nodded. ‘I’ve got a three- and a five-year-old. My husband really doesn’t have any annual leave
left and I can’t ask my mum.’ Carmel started to cry and, having taken her blood pressure, Louise sat on the chair by her bed.

‘There’s still time for the baby to turn,’ Louise said. ‘You’re not due till January …’ she checked her notes ‘… the seventh.’

‘But Stephanie said if it doesn’t turn then I’ll have a Caesarean before Christmas.’

Louise nodded because, rather than the chance of the mother going into spontaneous labour, Caesareans were performed a couple of weeks before the due date.

‘I just can’t be here for Christmas. I know the baby might have come then anyway but at least with a natural labour I could have had a chance to be in and out …’ Carmel explained what was going on a little better. ‘My mum’s really ill—it’s going to be her last Christmas.’

Poor Carmel had so much going on in her life at the moment that hospital was the last place she wanted to be. Right now, though, it was the place she perhaps needed to be, to concentrate on the baby inside and let go a little. Louise sat with her for ages, listening about Carmel’s mum’s illness and all the plans they had made for Christmas Day that were now in jeopardy.

Finally, having talked it out, Carmel calmed a bit and Louise pulled the curtains and suggested she sleep. ‘I’ll put a sign on the door so that you’re not disturbed.’

‘Unless it’s my husband.’

‘Of course.’ Louise smiled. ‘The sign just says to speak to the staff at the desk before coming in.’

She checked in on Felicity, who was one of Anton’s high-risk pregnancies, and then she got to Emily.

‘How’s my favourite patient?’ Louise asked a rather grumpy Emily.

Emily was very bored, very worried and also extremely uncomfortable after more than a week and a half spent in bed. She was relying heavily on Louise’s chatter and humour to keep her from the dark hole that her mind kept slipping into. ‘I’m dying to hear how you got on at your appointment.’

‘It went really well,’ Louise said, as she took Emily’s blood pressure.

‘Tell me.’

‘He was really positive,’ Louise explained, ‘though not in a false hope sort of way, just really practical. I’m going to be seeing him in the new year, when all my results are in, to see the best direction to take, but I think it will be IVF.’

‘Really!’

‘I think so.’ Louise nodded. ‘He discussed egg sharing, which would mean I’ll get a round of IVF free …’

‘You don’t feel funny about egg sharing?’ Emily asked, just as Anton walked in.

‘God, no,’ Louise said, happy to chat on. ‘I’d love to be able to help another woman to get her baby. It would be a win-win situation. I think egg sharing is a wonderful thing.’

She glanced over as Anton pulled out the BP cuff.

‘I’ve done Emily’s blood pressure,’ Louise said.

‘I’m just checking it for myself.’

Louise gritted her jaw. He did this all the time,
all the time
, even more so than before, and though it infuriated Louise she said nothing.

Here wasn’t the place.

‘Everything looks good,’ Anton said to Emily. ‘Twenty-nine weeks and four days now. You are doing really well.’

‘I’m so glad,’ Emily said, ‘but I’m also so …’ Emily didn’t finish. ‘I hate that I’m complaining when I’m so glad that I’m still pregnant.’

‘Of course you are bored and fed up.’ Anton shrugged. ‘Would a shower cheer you up?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Just a short one,’ Anton said, ‘sitting on a chair.’

‘Thank you,’ Emily said, but when Anton had gone she looked at Louise. ‘What’s going on with you two?’

‘Nothing,’ Louise said.

‘Nothing?’ Emily checked. ‘Come on, Louise, it’s me. I’m losing my mind here. At least you can tell me what’s going on in the real world.’

‘Maybe a teeny tiny thing
has
gone on,’ Louise said, ‘but we’re back to him sulking at me now and double-checking everything that I do.’

‘Please, Louise, tell me what has happened between you.’

‘Nope,’ Louise said, but then relented a touch. ‘We got off with each other a smudge but I think the big chill is from my getting IVF.’

‘Well, it wouldn’t be the biggest turn-on.’

‘I guess.’

‘Can you put it off?’

‘I don’t want to put it off,’ Louise said. ‘Then again, I sort of do.’ She was truly confused. ‘God, could you imagine being in a relationship with Anton? He’d be coming home and checking I’d done hospital corners on the bed and things …’

‘He’s nothing like that,’ Emily said.

‘Ah, but you get his hospital bedside manner.’

‘Why not just try?’

‘Because I’ve sworn off relationships, they never
work out … I don’t know,’ Louise sighed, and then she looked at her friend and told her the truth. ‘I’m scared to even try.’

‘When’s the maternity do?’ Emily asked.

‘Friday, but I’m on a late shift, so I’ll only catch the end.’

‘If you get changed at work I want to see you before you go.’

‘You will.’ Louise gave a wicked smile. ‘Let’s see if he can rustle up another supermodel.’

‘Or?’

Louise didn’t answer the question because she didn’t know the answer herself. ‘I’ll go and set up the shower for you,’ Louise said instead, and opened Emily’s locker and started to get her toiletries out. ‘What do you want to wear?’

‘Whatever makes me look least like a prostitute,’ Emily said, because, after all, it was Louise who had shopped for her!

‘But you look gorgeous in all of them,’ Louise said, ‘and I promise that you’re going to feel gorgeous too once you’ve had a shower.’

Emily actually did. After more than a week of washing from a bowl, a brief shower and a hair wash had her feeling so refreshed that she actually put on some make-up and her smile matched the scarlet nightdress that Louise had bought her.

‘Wrong room!’ Hugh joked, when he dropped in during a lull between patients, please to see how much brighter Emily looked.

In fact, Emily had quite a lot of visitors and Anton glanced into her room as he walked past.

‘Is she resting?’ Anton asked Louise.

‘I’m going to shoo them out soon,’ Louise said. ‘She’s had her sister and mum and now Hugh’s boss and his wife have dropped in.’

Alex and Jennifer were lovely, just lovely, but Emily really did need her rest and so, after checking in on Carmel, who seemed much calmer since her sleep and a visit from her husband and children, Louise popped in on Emily, dragging the CTG monitor with her.

‘How are you?’ Louise asked.

‘Fine!’ Emily said, but she had that slightly exhausted look in her eyes as she smiled brightly.

‘That’s good.’ Louise turned to the visitors. She knew Alex very well from the five years she had worked in Theatre and she knew Jennifer a little too. ‘I’m sorry to be a pain, but I’ve got to pop Louise on the monitor.’

‘Of course,’ Jennifer said. ‘We were just leaving.’

‘Don’t rush,’ Louise said, while meaning the opposite. ‘I’m just going to get some gel.’

That would give them time to say goodbye.

Of course Emily was grateful for visitors but even a shower, after all this time in bed, was draining, and Louise would do everything and anything she had to do to make sure Emily got her rest. By the time she returned with the gel Alex and Jennifer had said their goodbyes and were in the corridor.