Up High in the Trees (12 page)

I remember, at the swimming pool I didn't want to put my head under. The swimming teacher said I had to. I held on to my blue foam kickboard. I liked to bite into the blue foam when she wasn't looking. The swimming teacher put on her frog goggles that said
SPEEDO
across the noseband in white letters and she showed me how to go under. I watched the bubbles coming up out of her nose.

I wouldn't do it.

Mother helped me out of the pool and dried me off with one of the scratchy, white pool towels.

She whispered, That's okay, my son, you have years and years to put your head underwater. Her breath in my ear made me shiver. Mother held me close.

I try to hear Mother's voice now under the bathwater, but I can't. Her voice is gone. I sit up fast and slide forward and then back again, forward and then back again, and the water moves with me, like waves. When I stop sliding, the water keeps moving and it pushes me back and forth, back and forth.

Dad comes in with a blue towel. It's my blue towel from home.

I found some WD-40 out in the shed, Dad tells me. I can spray the bike so it won't squeak.

Yes, I say.

Okay now, he says, let's get you out.

I don't want to stand up, because then I'll be cold, but Dad says it's time. He's still not wearing a shirt. I look at the place where his appendix came out.

Dad holds the towel, ready to wrap me up. I stand up fast and reach out with my finger to touch Dad's bumpy, white scar. I touch it, but I can't really feel anything because my finger is all shriveled from being in the water so long.

Will it be there forever? I ask Dad.

Yes, he says.

I wrote Mother a very important note and taped it to the mirror in her bathroom.

The note said:

To Mother,

Please wake me up. I want to go with you.

From, Sebby

I was sitting on the floor in my room, making a tower out of blocks. Mother sat down and helped me build the tower. She gave me back the note.

I miss you too, sweetheart, Mother said. Then she left.

I thought about how she wasn't alone because there was the baby, Sara Rose, in her stomach. Sara Rose was a part of her, listening to the outside through Mother's skin. They were together at night, when Mother ran.

A big envelope comes in the mail from Ms. Lambert. I like how my name looks in her perfect, teacher handwriting. Up in the corner is Ms. Lambert's name with the school address underneath. I'm happy because now I have a place to send my letters.

Inside the envelope is a packet of homework that I have to do, so I sit at the kitchen table with my red pencil. I skip the fraction page and turn to the part where I have to look at the sentences and underline nouns. I know nouns are people, places, or things, and that makes them easy to find.

The phone rings and I jump. I run over to where it's hanging on the wall and pick up.

Sebby? says Cass's voice.

You scared me, I tell her.

Sorry, she says. How's Dad? Is it cold there?

I'm wrapping the phone cord around and around my finger. Teacher sent me homework to do, I tell her.

That's good, Cass says. Is it snowing? she asks.

No, I tell her.

It's snowing here, she says.

Since I know I can walk to the post office by myself, I leave Dad and the bike in the white house and I go. I'm wearing my green coat and it's so puffy I can't feel the envelope that I put in the front pocket. I have to keep touching it and then I know it's still there. The envelope has the letters for Katya and Ms. Lambert and also my homework page with the nouns underlined.

I stop when I get close to the blue house and listen. I know that the boy without a shirt and the girl with red hair live inside of it, but they don't know which house is mine. The blue house is quiet. Its windows are dark and empty. I walk a little closer and stop again. On the ground, there's the white shoe that was supposed to hit me.

I keep walking, but then I turn around and go back to the white shoe. I look at it and what I think of is the picture of the old man holding a dead bird in his hand. I know I can't leave the shoe all alone, so I hide it inside of my coat, and cross my arms tight. I walk faster now because what if someone's watching me from a window? I look back at the blue house again and then I run.

At the post office, I don't need to go inside because they have a blue mailbox in front. Through the glass doors, I can see the same lady working behind the counter. She sees me and waves without smiling and that's good. I don't like how her teeth look when she smiles at me.

I take the envelope out of my pocket and look at how I wrote Ms. Lambert's name and Katya's name and also the address where my school is. Maybe when Katya reads my letter she'll be my friend again.

I pull on the handle and the blue mailbox opens up like a mouth. Really fast, I reach inside and drop the envelope. It doesn't make any sound when it lands. I try to look inside the mailbox, but it's just dark, like the letters are already gone.

On the way home, I don't want the shoe anymore, because it belongs to the girl with red hair. Even if the shoe is sad like a dead bird, it was still mean to take it away and I want to put it back. I walk fast all the way to the blue house. I know where the shoe was and I can put it in the same spot so nobody will know that I took it.

I find the spot and stand right there and then let the shoe fall out of my coat. The heel clicks when it hits the cold cement and makes a quick, hollow sound. I keep looking at the white shoe on the ground and I can't believe that it could make a sound at all. I want to pick up the shoe and drop it one more time to see if it will make that noise again. I can't, though. I have to run away before someone sees me.

I run and the air is cold on my cheeks. I can feel the cold inside my head and it stings, like there's ice behind my eyes. My head hurts every time my feet land on the ground, so I have to stop running. I take soft steps and that feels better. In the back of my head I can hear the sound of my heart beating. My heart is so loud that the whole inside of my body is filling up with sound.

In the morning, I go outside and the yellow bike is gone. I know who took it. I sit down on the front steps and wait for the boy from the blue house.

I decide I don't really care if he keeps the bike, because it's ugly and I don't know how to ride it. When the boy comes back, I'll tell him that I don't care. Then I'll go inside and lock the door so he'll have to go away. I know what to do.

I can hear the boy screaming at me before he comes around the corner. Then I see him. He's wearing just the hood part of his coat, so the rest of it flies behind him like a cape.

What's your name?! the boy screams. What'syourname, what'syourname, what'syourname! he screams and he rides the yellow bike toward me.

His sister is running after him and she's also screaming, What'syourname, what'syourname, what'syourname!

The boy rides right past me without stopping and the girl follows him. I look at her feet. She's not wearing the white shoes. She's wearing black high-top sneakers.

The boy turns around at the end of the street and comes toward me again. This time he stops in front of the white house and jumps off the seat so he's standing with one foot on each side of the yellow bike. His sister catches up with him.

You know how to talk or what? the boy asks me.

His sister's coughing from running so much. She bends
forward onto her knees, then sits down on the ground. She coughs without covering her mouth.

Do you talk? the boy asks me again.

Yes, I tell him.

Did you hear that? he asks his sister and she just nods her head.

Today the boy is wearing a shirt. It's gray with long sleeves. His coat looks funny now, hanging flat around his head. He's wearing shorts instead of pants even though it's cold outside. His shoes are tall, red cowboy boots that go all the way up to his knees. The girl stands up next to him so that I'll look at her, too. She's wearing jeans and a white coat. Her jeans are too short. I can see that she's wearing red socks.

Do you want your bike? the boy asks. His voice is louder again.

You can have it if you want, I tell him. I stand up because I'm ready to go back inside the white house and lock the door. Then the boy will have to go away.

Hey! he screams. He gets off the bike and pushes it over so that it lands hard on the ground and then kicks the front tire.

I don't want your damn, stinking bike, the boy says.

The girl copies him. She kicks the front tire and says, I don't want your damn, stinking bike.

Shut up, Shelly, the boy says and pushes her.

Who do you live here with? the boy yells at me. Then he starts coughing. He doesn't cover his mouth either.

My Dad, I tell him.

Do you want me to ring the doorbell and ask your dad what your dumb name is? he asks. His voice is quieter now.

No, I say. I sit back down on the front steps.

Well, then, he says and walks toward me. He looks back at his sister and puts his hand up so she doesn't follow him.

The boy keeps walking toward me and I don't know what to do.

My name is Sebby, I tell him to make him stop walking.

The boy stops and puts his hands in his pockets. Up close, he has freckles all over his cheeks and on his nose.

That's not a name, he says.

My whole name is Sebastian James Lane, I tell him.

The boy nods his head at me.

Okay, fine, he says, Sebastian James Lane. He says my name funny, like it's a fancy name.

I don't like how he says it.

My name is Jackson and that's Shelly, he says. He points at his sister and she stands up, but then he holds his hand out the same way as before and that means she has to stay where she is.

Nice to meet you, the boy says and puts out his hand for me to shake.

I shake it and then he walks away.

Hey! the girl yells at me, how come you wear glasses all the time?

So I can see more, I tell her

The boy turns around to look at me.