Up to No Good (33 page)

“I understand,” he said, looking so sad.

“It doesn’t mean I won’t marry you, baby. It just means I need some time to think. Can’t you just give me a few days, at least until after the trial?”

“I’ll talk to Agent Ford. Maybe she can hold off an extra day or two.”

“Thank you, baby. I want you to understand that this doesn’t mean I’m doubting my love for you. I love you with all my heart. Just let me go home for a few days and get my head straight, and then I’ll give you an answer.”

He wrapped me tightly in his arms, and we made love on the floor, expressing the complex emotions that, once I had time to sort through them, would either pull us apart or bring us together forever.

I stepped into the living room wearing a black button-down shirt, a pair of black slacks, my brand-new black leather blazer, and my head shaved completely bald. I figured since I was going to go bald anyway because of the chemotherapy and radiation, I might as well do it now and make it a fashion statement. With all these brothers with receding hairlines shaving their heads, bald seemed to be in.

Darnel, who’d come over from his place, had been sulking on my sofa all afternoon. He halfheartedly smirked when he saw me. I don’t know what that girl Keisha had done to him since their breakup, but the boy had more mood swings than a menopausal woman.

“So, how do I look?”

“You’re kidding, right?” He snickered.

“It’s not too much, is it?” I ran my hand over my newly shaved head.

“Dad …” He hesitated. “Do you want the truth?”

“Of course I want the truth.”

“Okay.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You look like a damn fool. But don’t worry; it seems to run in the family
lately.” He didn’t even crack a smile. “You might wanna invest in a couple of good hats until it grows back.”

“Tell me how you really feel, Darnel,” I shot back at him.

“You told me you wanted the truth.”

“Well, maybe not that much truth.”

I walked over to the hallway mirror to see for myself. I didn’t know what he was talking about. I didn’t look that bad. It wasn’t like my hair had been long to start with. I was just happy that I hadn’t shaved my head only to discover I lacked a proper head for such a bold move. That would have been bad, finding out after the fact that my dome had a flat top or was misshapen. I hadn’t even thought about those possibilities before I took out the clippers and started shaving. Before my cancer diagnosis, I would have put more thought into making such a drastic change, but being forced to consider my mortality had begun to give me a different outlook on what was really important—and hair wasn’t high on the list.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, son. I look like Samuel L. Jackson in the remake of
Shaft
,” I joked, rubbing my hand over my head again.

“No, you look more like Isaac Hayes when he sang the original
Shaft
. All you need is the swollen lips. You want me to hit you in the mouth?”

That boy sure knew how to hurt a man’s ego. “Isaac Hayes was the man back in the day,” I said with a laugh.

“If you say so. What did Sandra say?”

“She hasn’t seen it yet. I was hoping she’d be here soon so I could surprise her too.”

The front door opened, and I assumed it was Sandra, right on time. Instead of my lady, my baby girl walked
into the room. Jamie had been MIA for a few days and had left only a brief message that she needed time away. I’d never been the kind of father who checked up on his children, but it wasn’t like Jamie to disappear for days at a time, so I was a little concerned. Especially since I knew she was going through changes in her relationship with Louis. Still, I resisted the urge to be an overprotective father. I figured she was working things out with Louis or taking time out with a girlfriend to get over him. She was a grown woman, so I gave her space to work through her issues. When she walked in the house looking happy, I was relieved.

“Hey, Daddy.” She rushed over and gave me a hug.

“You all right?”

“Oh my God!” she shouted. “Look at your head!” She ran her hands over my bald dome.

“So, what you think?” I posed.

“I think you look cute. You remind me of Shaft.” Jamie wrapped her arms around me, putting her head on my shoulder.

“Thanks, princess. I was just telling your brother the same thing.” I threw a smug look in Darnel’s direction.

“So where you been?” I asked.

“I went away with Louis.”

“I thought you were done with that clown.” Darnel, who normally would have given Louis the benefit of the doubt, surprised me.

“He’s not a clown, Darnel. I love him.”

Darnel just shook his head.

“But, princess, I thought you said it was over.” I knew to tread lightly, but what I wanted to say was, “Ain’t no way you staying with no man who hurt you.”

“It was over, but then I met the blond woman. They’re not messing around. They’re coworkers of a sort.”

I looked at her with skepticism. I’m sure she knew I thought she was being played.

“It’s hard to explain, but you just have to trust me,” she said.

“Yeah, but, baby, I saw them together in Long Island, and your brother saw them in Manhattan. Those two were rather cozy.”

“I know what it looked like, Daddy, but like I said, you and Darnel just have to trust me. Louis is the most honest, good man I’ve ever been with. You always told me don’t go looking unless you’re prepared to find something. I found what I wanted to, but it wasn’t the truth.”

“You sure?” Darnel and I said in unison.

“Yep. I was the one trippin’ and well, I mean, I am your daughter, and after living with you, I just thought all men cheated.”

That comment hurt, but I couldn’t get mad at her for speaking the truth.

“Yeah, I can’t say I’ve been the best role model for you two.”

“You certainly were interesting to watch,” Jamie teased, and even Darnel laughed.

It was nice to see both of my kids laughing, especially after everything they’d both been through lately. In fact, it was just nice to see both of my kids together. We hadn’t really been spending much time as a family ever since Darnel’s canceled wedding. It seems we’d all become kind of wrapped up in our own worlds, and that wasn’t a good thing. These difficult times were when we should be there for each other the most. As the head of the family, it was time for me to bring us all back together. With my health and future so uncertain, it would be important for Darnel and Jamie to have each other to lean on.

“Listen,” I said seriously, “since I have you both here, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

They stopped laughing and looked at me expectantly.

“Why don’t you sit down, Jamie?”

“Now you’re making me nervous, Daddy.”

“Don’t be nervous. I just think it’s time we all sat down together as a family. I have some things I want to talk to you about.”

Jamie tried to break the tension by asking, “You breaking up with Sandra?” with a mischievous grin on her face.

I didn’t crack a smile. “No, we’re fine, thank you very much.”

“Dad, she ain’t never gonna let you be happy with no woman.” Darnel looked at me sympathetically.

“Shut up, Darnel,” Jamie answered back.

“Stop it, both of you,” I said loudly. “This is part of what I want to talk about. There are some things going on, and we need to come together as a family and support one another. We’ve all been drifting apart lately, and it’s time we get back on track.”

“Okay …” Jamie gave me a look that said she was confused about why I was acting this way.

It was time to just spit it out. “Jamie, Darnel … I guess you kids have noticed I’ve been a little under the weather lately.”

Darnel nodded, and Jamie’s expression changed. She looked scared, almost like she already knew what she was about to hear.

“Well, I went to the doctor, and I know what’s wrong with me.” I took a deep breath, or at least as deep as my sick lungs would allow. “I have lung cancer.”

Silence hung over the room as my words registered
in my children’s minds. Then Jamie began to cry. She ran over and threw her arms around me.

“Daddy, no!” She fell apart, sobbing loudly.

Tears wet the corners of my eyes, but I refused to fall apart in front of my kids.

Darnel came over and grabbed my hand, and I could see that his eyes were glistening with tears too. They were both in shock. I knew how they felt. I ’d felt the same way before I had had a chance to digest this information.

“But you quit smoking. How can you have lung cancer?” Darnel questioned.

“I never should have started,” I told him.

“We’ll get a second opinion.” Darnel, like most men, wanted to fix this, and although he couldn’t do anything, I was proud of him.

Jamie managed to stop sobbing long enough to say, “Daddy, you can’t give up. They have all these miracles in foreign countries. We can travel and find one of those doctors.”

I patted her on the back. “I have no intention of giving up. They caught it in the early stages, and there are plenty of treatments available to me.”

“What kind of treatments?”

“Well, I have to go see a specialist, but Dr. Martin thinks I’ll need chemotherapy and radiation.”

“You haven’t seen a specialist yet?” Darnel asked.

I hesitated. He was right, of course; I should have consulted with the oncologist as soon as I got the diagnosis, but how could I explain to my son that I ’d been too scared to face reality?

“I’m going to call first thing tomorrow. I promise.”

Jamie hugged me tightly. “Daddy, I’m gonna be here for you. I’ll take care of you. I swear I will.”

“Me too,” Darnel offered. “I can quit my job and help you out at the office.”

His words touched me deeply. I ’d always wanted him to be part of my company—but I didn’t want it this way.

“Look, there is no need for anybody’s life to change. I’ll be all right. I’m telling you I’m going to beat this.”

“We’re here for you however you need us, Daddy,” Jamie said, and Darnel nodded his agreement.

“You two kids are my greatest gift.”

We sat together in the living room for a while, talking about the road that lay ahead and gathering strength from the love we shared. I was feeling confident that my kids would help me stay positive throughout this ordeal, but then Jamie took the conversation in a whole other direction.

“I’m sorry, Daddy, but I just have to ask: Where is the great love of your life? How come she’s not here?”

“Jamie!” Darnel tried to stop her, but I could have told him it was no use. Stopping Jamie from saying or doing something she wanted was like jumping in front of a runaway train.

“No, Darnel, I wanna know where she is during our father’s time of need.” She turned to me. “Oh, let me guess. She’s shopping.” Jamie stared until I gave her an answer.

I nodded my head.

“See! That wench ain’t about nothing but spending money, Daddy!”

“This is hard on her too, Jamie. She was very upset when she found out.”

“You told her already? Before us?”

“Sandra’s his woman, Jamie,” Darnel pointed out, trying to help, but calling her my woman only made Jamie roll her eyes at him.

“Don’t remind me,” she said.

“Sandra was with me when Dr. Martin called to check on me earlier,” I explained.

“She just found out today and she’s not here now? Why is she shopping instead of comforting you? Why wasn’t she here when you told your children? That’s what your woman’s supposed to do.”

“She’ll be back soon.”

“Daddy, don’t you get it? At a time like this, she chooses to go shopping? What woman would leave her man and go to the mall when he just told her he’s got cancer? She’s probably trying to spend as much of your money as she can before you have to start paying medical bills.”

I cringed. If she knew I ’d recently put Sandra on my gold American Express card, she’d kill me quicker than cancer ever could.

“Jamie, cut him some slack,” Darnel pleaded.

“This isn’t about him. It’s about a woman who’s only after his money. You think Crystal would be shopping right now? Hell no! She’d be right here trying to shove soup down your throat and make you better.”

“Leave my mother out of this.”

“I’m not trying to put her down, Darnel. I’m trying to make a point.”

“You’re wrong about this, Jamie. Just like I don’t expect you and your brother to put your lives on hold, I can’t ask Sandra to do it either.”

I meant what I said; I had no intention of asking Sandra to be by my side constantly, but I did regret that she was at the mall of all places. It only served to strengthen Jamie’s argument. She was convinced that Sandra was with me for my money, and there was nothing I could say to change her mind. I knew Jamie dis-
approved of my relationship with Sandra, but I was still taken aback by the level of hatred she felt toward her.

“Well, I’m pissed because I can’t believe anybody would leave you alone at a time like this. But don’t worry, Daddy. I’m here for you.”

“
We’re
here for you,” Darnel added, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“We’re gonna get through this,” I said as I hugged my kids, saying a silent prayer that Jamie would change her mind about Sandra. What I needed right now was for the three people I loved most to be at peace with one another.

I was driving to work, thinking over the latest bombshell my family was dealing with. The bad news just kept on coming. First, my wedding was canceled due to no fault of my own, and then my sister, always the drama queen, started having problems with her man. Plus, she’d decided to make life a living hell for my father’s new woman, which I totally didn’t understand. I mean, Sandra was much younger than my father, but so what? If he had finally found someone who could make him stop screwing half of Queens, then I say give the girl some credit. My own mother couldn’t do it, and I ’d hated him for years for treating her like he did, but I ’d finally learned to forgive and forget, and I wished my sister could do the same. But Jamie wouldn’t let up, even now that we’d gotten the worst news of all, that my father had cancer. Sweet Jesus, what the hell was gonna happen next?