Updrift (11 page)

John took over, and while Kate avoided eye contact with him, she listened to what he had to say. “Unlike the rules of society at large, which many people seem to take or leave as they find convenient, my family’s rules concerning love and marriage are iron clad. We can’t explain that completely right now but perhaps you’ve already discussed this a little with Gabe?”

Kate blushed and held her tongue, unwilling to share anything she’d discussed with Gabe. But she remembered his comment about grabbing her wrist and being glued to her side for the rest of her life, and she felt she might burst with all the questions she couldn’t voice.

John nodded, as if she had answered him. “With any luck, you’ll understand completely in a few years.” Kate grit her teeth, angry that everyone, including Gabe, had some timeline for informing her which spanned years. All the evasions had become annoying.

Cara noticed. “I’m sure this is frustrating for you, honey, but it’s all being done to protect you. Our point, other than to let you know I’m pregnant, is to tell you not to assume by what you’ve seen this summer it’s okay to become physically involved with someone you’re not committed to.”

Kate stared at her, unable to withhold her skepticism. “Do as you say, not as you—and every couple present apparently—did that night of the Blake party? Is this what you’re saying?”

John answered again. “I just told you we do things a little differently in my family, and I’d like to point out every couple who was there that night is now married. No one, and I mean no one, was…what do you kids call it? Hooking up.”

Kate didn’t give in to the urge to laugh but neither did she argue.

“How to put this the right way?” John mused. “You are simply not allowed to share yourself with anyone unless you are in a committed relationship. I’m pulling out all my newly minted parental credentials to lay down this law, but for your mother and me, this is important.” Kate was mortified but appreciated his sincerity.

“Please remember too my dating behavior from the time your father died to the time John and I met,” her mom reminded her. She’d lived like a nun, as Kate well knew.

But she felt she was behaving like a petulant child, which she didn’t care for. “Listen, I’m excited we’re going to have a baby in the house. And all of your words ring true. I’m more irritated by the secrecy surrounding your family’s romantic habits, John. No one, including Gabe, will explain anything to me, and I don’t like it.” She dropped her gaze then, disappointed she’d referenced her discussion with Gabe on the subject.

John softened. “Can you understand this is about what we have to do, not what we want to do?”

“No. I don’t understand.” Then she sighed. “But I guess I’ll go along with it. Because I don’t seem to have a choice.”

Her mother stroked her hair. “Not this time, honey.”

Kate was unsurprised to discover all of the women in the couples who counted the Blake party as their beginning—including Solange—were expecting. True to his word, Luke followed Solange to Boston College where he hired on as a teaching assistant. In order to finish her degree before she had her baby, Solange carried extra credits that would allow her to graduate in December. From all reports by her family, she was exhausted but getting through school.

Meanwhile, Kate helped John and her mother prepare for their own addition to the family. Her mom found out she was having a boy, although their plans for decorating the nursery were set before the ultrasound. She and John wanted to make the room into a fish bowl, as far as Kate could tell, which meant undersea-themed wallpaper depicting schools of colorful fish and equally brilliant corals and anemones. She and her mother papered the walls and ceiling, even painted the floor blue. Despite her initial ambivalence, Kate found the effect magical, as if she started floating whenever she entered the room. John assembled a crib, matching dresser, and bookshelf. They added a rocking chair, and deemed themselves ready.

Dana and Will came for Thanksgiving, ostensibly to share the holiday with them but more obviously, Kate thought, so Dana could counsel Cara on how to run her life after the baby came. Her mother did her best to defuse Dana’s more strident efforts, and to protect the lazy, chill vibe everyone else enjoyed. But eventually she was blunt and stated, yes, she planned to take three months off, and, yes, she was keeping her job, and could Dana maybe accept, for once, her life was her own business? Her pointed look Kate’s way was a dismissal Kate chose to ignore. She’d never seen her aunt and mother argue in front of her and the performance was too interesting.

Awkward silence ensued, until a big play in the day’s football game drew everyone toward the television. As the tension deflated in the kitchen, Cara moved her cutting board by Dana’s.

Her aunt stopped chopping briefly to acknowledge her mother’s arrival before resuming her task. “I don’t mean to be difficult,” Dana lamented quietly. Cara put her arms around her.

“You’re just concerned for me, and I know that. But you don’t need to worry about me so much, okay? I can take care of myself, Dana.”

The sisters let silence accomplish the last of their reconciliation, which Kate had seen before. She knew the fight was over when she saw them laughing together over some private joke. Afterward, the day went on as if the outburst never happened.

* * * *

Later that night, unable to sleep, Kate crept down to the kitchen for a drink of water. Dana sat at the table doing a crossword puzzle. “You can’t sleep either?” she asked her aunt.

Dana leaned back in her chair. “Have a seat and talk a minute,” she invited. Kate seated herself and grabbed a section of the paper. “That was quite a conversation we had today before dinner. What did you think of it?”

“I think you and my mother have strong opinions about your work and home lives.”

Dana snorted. “You got
that
right. But how do you feel about all of this, your mom getting married and having another baby?”

“Truthfully, I’m happy, Dana. I really like John. And perhaps more importantly, I trust him. He’s just this salt-of-the-earth, solid person. And my mom’s so happy—it’s great to see her fulfilled for once. I was worried about leaving her alone after graduation, and now she has someone. I’m relieved.”

“Hmm. Maybe. Have you thought about where you want to go to college? And not that you need to know yet, but have you thought about what you’d like to study?”

“I’ve applied to a couple of schools and won’t hear back until later in the year. Why?”

“Because if you’re generally in the area—as in East Coastish, I could maybe help. You know, nose around for an internship, or summer job, if you want. What are you interested in?”

Kate studied her hands, not sure she wanted to talk about her post-high school dreams yet. “I haven’t discussed this with anyone. I’m thinking about a degree in Journalism. I know it’s hard to break into but I’d love to be a food writer.”

Dana nodded approvingly. “I think you’d be good at it. I happen to have contacts at a couple of magazines too. I could try and get you in the door with one of them if you like?”

Kate was instantly excited. “Would you? That would be so great, Dana! I’d really appreciate it.”

“I won’t make any promises but I’ll see what I can do. Let me hunt around.” Her expression became cautionary. “Your first job will probably be slave-like in nature. You know that, don’t you?”

“Of course! It doesn’t matter!” Kate gushed. “I’ll file papers, sweep the floors, whatever it takes!”

“Okay. I’ll see what I can figure out.”

* * * *

Although Kate wasn’t hearing much from Gabe, she did hear from his mother. As the time for the baby to arrive drew near, she had the impression Carmen and Cara had discussed ways to keep her occupied during those first few months, maybe protect her from feeling neglected.

“Your mother and I have hatched a plan I want to talk with you about,” Carmen announced during a phone conversation one day.

Her suspicions were confirmed. “Mm-hmm. Let’s hear it.”

“Great. You’ve been accepted at Sommerset University, right?” Kate told her yes, that’s where she was planning to go. “Well, how about if Michael and I help you take care of a few of your general credits before you get there?”

Kate was interested. She was already enrolled in advanced placement courses for college credit through the high school, which Carmen knew, so she was curious as to what she was thinking. “How would that work?”

“Basically, we can augment the credits you’re taking through the school with a couple of extras.” She seemed to be reading from a list of requirements as she paused. “Michael could cover your core science requirement with a biology study. And between the two of us, we can take care of your fine arts, phys-ed, and possibly your history, too…”

For no clear reason she could articulate, Kate was interested in having as many credits under her belt as she could before entering college formally. But she was also worried about being able to complete the coursework Carmen described in addition to the academic load she already had, and she shared her concern with Carmen. “Do you think it’s feasible? Will the college even let me?”

“I do think it’s feasible. Not easy, and I think you’ll have to drop all—and I do mean
all
—of your extra-curricular activities, not just the ones at school. But you’ve done really well, and Sommerset’s a small, private school willing to make unique study programs for its students.”

Kate hesitated. She could be talked into giving up drama club but gardening, reading, and cooking? Those, she would miss.

“Let’s make up a schedule,” Carmen proposed. “We’ll map out the courses Michael and I would teach you and see the actual time everything will take.”

“That makes sense.”

The next day after classes, Kate brought a new notebook and three-ring binder over to Carmen and Michael’s. They ushered her to the kitchen table and sat down to tackle her scheduling assignment.

“It’s helpful you already know what you want to study, Kate,” Michael told her. “I called the university for a list of the course and credit requirements to complete a Journalism major. I also contacted an academic advisor for you and discussed our plans with her.” He slid a piece of paper across the table. “This is her contact information, as well as a list of professors you’ll be working with.”

“The college will charge for this but John and your mother will cover tuition,” Carmen added. “So, the only issue will be if you want to undertake these studies now.”

Kate experienced a burgeoning sense of pride in herself—this kind of offer from Carmen and Michael felt like recognition—but she also felt overwhelmed. “You guys have put a lot of thought and effort into this already. I’m just not sure I can do it.”

Carmen and Michael looked at one another as they always did when she was around, as if they had a secret they were keeping from her. “We’re wondering if you won’t appreciate the flexibility this advancement will give you,” Michael eventually offered. “You could finish college early and…and end up with more choices.”

Carmen placed a hand on her arm in encouragement. “Cara and I spoke with your high school teachers, and everyone’s sure you’re capable. But you will be busy.” She showed Kate the schedule she’d outlined. It was very, very full but as they went through it, Kate saw it was viable. She really wouldn’t have any free time, especially if she planned to help at all when the baby came. Carmen seemed to read her mind. “You’ll still see that baby, honey. But you won’t be responsible for him, which is probably for the best.” Kate decided to take her at her word. And she agreed to the new, insanely busy program they’d proposed for her.

* * * *

She wasn’t as confident in herself as everyone around her seemed to be, but given the encouragement and financial support she received from her parents—and the very generous commitment of time and help from Carmen and Michael—she put forth her best effort. She was beyond busy, and her previously sparse social life became nonexistent. Maya was almost equally tied up with her studies and sports obligations, so Kate didn’t feel responsible for them not getting together as much. Their primary interactions consisted of late-night and early morning texts, and they scarfed down lunch together every day in about ten minutes, but they almost never had any real time in each other’s company.

In some ways, she was relieved. Her crazy schedule meant she had less time to brood and think about Gabe, and because she didn’t see Maya like she used to, she didn’t have to reveal her romantic interactions with him, which she was inexplicably unwilling to share. Perhaps because they hadn’t actually started a dating relationship, Kate didn’t want to feel awkward if nothing came of it.

She also found comfort in the frenzied overtones of the few e-mails she received from Gabe. Wherever he was and whatever he was doing, he sounded exactly as swamped as she was. Moreover, he knew about her undertaking and his parents’ role in it, and he understood perfectly when she complained about having no time for herself.

In terms of physically seeing Gabe again, Kate had pretty much given up hope of knowing when that would be. Carmen and Michael went away with him for every holiday that year, and when she expressed curiosity over when he was coming back, they would smile obliquely and tell her to be patient. In order not to feel vulnerable or appear desperate, she pretended she didn’t care.

She had the distinct impression her parents and the Blakes colluded with one another to interfere in any potential relationship between her and Gabe. The thought caused her to question her judgment; surely they had better things to worry about than a teenage romance, and wasn’t she, perhaps, being paranoid? Nonetheless, the impression persisted. In fact, she wondered if the race to prepare her for early graduation from college was also related to their efforts to get between them although she didn’t see how. Something was definitely off, though.

In February, Dana called about her efforts to secure her a job at a food magazine. “I have what I hope is good news. One of my editor friends agreed to have her assistant call you. She liked your writing samples and is impressed with your grades. If they like what they hear, they’ll let you hang around the office this summer to file papers and sweep the floor. You will not be paid but you’ll get a taste of professional life and maybe make a couple of contacts for later.” The news was bittersweet to Kate. She wanted to be closer to home to be by her new baby brother, and she really wanted to be around when Gabe was back. His comment last August about seeing each other
next year
no longer seemed far-fetched. But an opportunity to volunteer in a bona fide food journalism environment was too good to pass up.