Uprising (Alternate Earth Series, Book 2) (20 page)

“Thanks, JoJo,” I say just as she closes the clasp.

I walk over to Nina as Gabe holds the dress up for her to see.

Instead of being full, the skirt is now slim-fitting, and the cap sleeves are gone. JoJo kept the black lace over red silk but made a sleek, modern dress out of one that was older than Mama Lynn.

Nina takes the dress from Gabe and tells him, “Turn around so I can try it on.”

Gabe does as commanded and waits until Nina gives him the all-clear.

“
Mon
ami
, you look gorgeous!” JoJo says happily, with a small clap of joy. “And do not worry. If he tears it off of you tonight, I can make you another one.”

Nina looks shocked by JoJo’s suggestion about how her date with Rafe may end.

“Don’t worry,” I tell her. “JoJo said that to me one time and all I got was kissed.”

“Eh, you Americans move far too slowly where love is concerned. Why, Gabe tore my dress from my body the very first night we were together.”

Gabe clears his throat. “TMI, sweetie.”

“Pfft,” JoJo says with a wave of her hand at Gabe. “It is not something to be embarrassed about,
mon amour
. More men should take lessons from you. You are a very virile lover.”

“JoJo…” Gabe says, looking uncomfortable with the turn of the conversation.

“
Quoi
?” JoJo asks innocently.

“I should probably go get some shoes,” Nina says, finding a good reason to leave.

“I’ll help you with that,” I say, taking advantage of Nina’s departure.

“Have fun tonight!” JoJo tells her. “And do not break Rafe’s heart, or I will never forgive you.”

“I won’t,” Nina solemnly promises before resting her hand on my shoulder and phasing us back to her room.

“JoJo’s a bit of a pistol, isn’t she?” Nina says with a smile.

“Yep. And I wouldn’t have her any other way.”

Nina must have a sixth sense, because she quickly finds a pair of black high heels underneath the mess on her floor.

“Mind if I ask you something?” I ask as she slips her shoes on.

“Sure. You can ask me anything.”

“Why did Rafe turn to leave when you were asking him out?”

Nina shakes her head slightly. “He thought I was giving him a pity date because he’d said he loved me. I had to convince him that I wanted to take him out because it was something I wanted to do.”

“Well, you know I wish you two the best of luck. Just let him see the real you tonight, Nina. All anyone wants is a person they can trust and who they know can be trusted with their deepest and darkest secrets.”

“I won’t hold anything back from him, Jess,” Nina vows. “I just hope he can handle it all.”

“Rafe’s tough,” I say. “He can pretty much take anything.”

“Come on,” Nina says, holding out her hand to me. “I’ll take you down to the kitchen before I go meet him.”

I take Nina’s hand and get a free ride to the kitchen. It seems that I’ve completely missed supper, because Mason is helping Malcolm wash the dishes in the sink.

“Well,” Malcolm says as he eyes Nina admiringly, “I never thought I would see you in a dress. Isn’t that against the War Angel code or something?”

Nina crosses her arms. “It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, I could still beat you in a fight.”

Malcolm smiles at her. “Anytime, anyplace, Nina; I’m always ready and willing.”

Nina rolls her eyes at Malcolm and turns to me. “Thanks for everything.”

“Good luck, even though I don’t think you’ll need it tonight.”

Nina winks at me before phasing to meet Rafe.

“Were there any leftovers?” I ask as my tummy grumbles its protest at being denied food.

“I packed us up some food to eat,” Mason says, and nods at the picnic basket sitting on the kitchen island. “Rafe told me about his date with Nina, and I thought this might be a good time to have a date night of our own.”

“Sounds good to me,” I say, feeling excited to have Mason all to myself for a whole evening.

“Hold on one sec,” Mason says, leaning over to give me a kiss. “I need to grab something real quick.”

Mason phases, but returns a few seconds later with a blue blanket tucked under one arm.

“Have fun,” Malcolm says to us as Mason grabs the picnic basket and I grab hold of his arm.

“Oh, we will,” I tell Malcolm.

“Don’t come looking for us unless it’s a life or death situation,” Mason tells Malcolm, making it sound more like an order than a request.

“Well,” I say to my husband, “this sounds like a promising adventure.”

Mason smiles at me. “Very promising.”

I tighten my hold on Mason’s arm, knowing exactly what I want as an appetizer.

CHAPTER SIXTEE
N

(NINA’S POINT OF VIEW)

When I phase into the living room, I find Rafe standing in front of the bay window, watching the setting sun. His back is to me, for which I’m grateful and breathe out a sigh of relief. I notice he’s changed clothes, and is now wearing a white dress shirt and black slacks, which fit rather nicely.

Breathe, Nina, breathe
…. I remind myself.

I’ve never felt this nervous in my whole life, and I definitely don’t feel ready for him to turn around and see me yet. As I silently study Rafe, I have to wonder if he fully realizes how much this evening means to me. I feel as though I’m slamming shut the first volume in the story of my life, and tentatively reaching for the next one, to begin writing a new, brighter future for myself.

This is the first time since coming to Earth that I’ve allowed myself to imagine living a happily ever after kind of existence, but I also realize it isn’t a fate I can just will into being because I want it. Rafe has to want it, too. He holds my future in his hands, and that fact scares me, which isn’t something easy for me to admit. I’m not used to allowing someone else to decide what happens to me. Yet I’ve never had someone in my life that I trust more.

Since the moment we met, I felt drawn to Rafe in a way I’ve never experienced before. It wasn’t just a physical attraction, either. If it had been, it would have been easy enough to scratch that itch and be done with him. No, this was something on a totally different level, one I wasn’t completely sure I was ready to face. I tried to deny my attraction to him, but I quickly came to the realization that fighting what I felt was futile. Every time he glanced my way or smiled at me, I felt the icy barrier protecting my heart crack, allowing him an opportunity to see into my soul and discover the real me.

As if sensing my presence in the room, Rafe turns around to face me. A slow smile stretches his lips as his eyes seem to drink me in from head to toe. Without using words, I can tell by the pleased expression on his face that he appreciates the effort I made to look nice for him this evening. I send up a silent thank you to JoJo for making me a dress I actually feel comfortable wearing. Dresses have never been my favorite type of clothing to wear. They can be restrictive in a combat situation. I’ve fought all my life. I’m not sure I can do anything else, but, for Rafe, I’m willing to at least try to become more than I am.

“You look beautiful,” Rafe says to me, continuing to smile that sweet smile of his. Never in my life have I ever met someone who is so sincere in everything he says to others. It’s one of his most attractive traits.

“Thank you,” I say, nervously running my hands down the sides of my dress, unsure what to do next.

Rafe takes control of the situation and walks to stand in front of me, keeping his eyes locked with mine.

“So,” he says with a disarming grin, “where are you taking me this evening?”

I hold my right hand out to Rafe. He doesn’t hesitate before placing his hand into mine, showing me his full trust.

I clear my throat, because I feel my nerves begin to get the better of me.

“I want to tell you a little bit about my past,” I tell him, feeling almost breathless from my nervousness about doing such a thing, “and I thought the easiest way to do that would be to take you to certain places that mean something special to me.”

I feel Rafe’s grip tighten.

“I would love that,” he tells me earnestly.

I swallow hard before saying, “I want you to know that I’m not proud of the things I’m about to tell you. I’m not even sure you’ll still like me after I tell you everything, but, if you’re going to understand me at all, you need to know about certain things I’ve done…and what I’m capable of.”

“I know your life hasn’t been an easy one,” Rafe replies, his brow crinkling slightly. “And nothing you tell me will make me think any less of you.”

“How can you say that?” I ask. “You have no idea what I’m about to tell you.”

“I know who you are in this moment, Nina,” Rafe says with certainty. “None of us should be judged solely on the things that we’ve done in the past. All any of us can do is learn from our mistakes, and grow from those experiences.”

“It’s easy enough to say that before hearing about the things that I’ve done,” I tell him, feeling my heart sink at the thought of sharing certain parts of my life with him.

“Then tell me,” Rafe urges, “and prove to yourself that you aren’t the person you once were.”

Without saying another word, I squeeze Rafe’s hand and phase us to the Sahara Desert, where my Earthly story began.

With the time difference, I know that it has to be close to midnight here. The red-orange moon is high in the sky, giving off what little light it can through the haze of ash that still floats in the atmosphere from the great earthquake generated by the opening of the first seal. Large, gaping fissures can be seen scattered around the desert floor because of that earth-shattering event.

“Have you ever been here on your Earth?” I ask Rafe as I look out across the dunes.

“Yes,” he tells me. “Whenever there’s a formal meeting of our Watchers, they always meet here.”

“Then you know this is where we were first sent as a group to Earth,” I say, looking at him.

“Yes,” Rafe says, nodding his head. “I know that.”

I look back out across the desert, remembering that moment like it happened yesterday.

“We were all so full of hope that we would be able to make a difference here,” I tell Rafe. “I felt proud that God asked me to be among the first angels to live among the humans. I was the only War Angel he asked to become a Watcher. Back then, I believed I owed it to the others of my kind to do a good job. Without a war in Heaven to fight, we all felt an emptiness that needed to be filled. I hoped that, if I succeeded in my mission here, God would allow more War Angels to come down and find meaning in their lives again. But I failed them…”

I phase Rafe to an empty field in Germany. It’s still nighttime here, but the moon isn’t as high in the sky as it was in the desert.

“I chose this place to start my journey,” I tell Rafe, looking out across the grassy plain that was the location of my first earthly home. “A small village was here back then. They were constantly being attacked by a rival village chief. I helped the villagers here design better defenses, and quickly became friends with the man who was their chief.”

“Is he the man you fell in love with?” Rafe asks. “Was he the cause of your fall?”

“I did love him,” I say, “but he wasn’t the cause of my fall. I’m the only one who was responsible for that. However, I did blame him for it in the beginning. It took me a long time to realize it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t make me break God’s one rule to us. That burden lay squarely on my shoulders, not his.”

“What was his name?”

“Engel,” I say, picturing the handsome face of my first lover. “You know, that’s the first time I’ve said his name out loud since I left this village. I hated him for a long time.”

“What made you stop hating him?”

“Realizing that he wasn’t to blame for what happened to me. I regret so many things in my life, but leaving him the way I did is my deepest regret.”

“How did you leave him?”

“Moaning in pain,” I confess, faintly hearing the sound of Engel’s groans in the rustle of the tall grass surrounding us. “I beat him so badly I thought he would end up dying from the injuries.”

“How do you know he didn’t?”

“Because I came back here a year later to see if he had.”

“Why?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I just had to know.”

“Did you say anything to him?”

“No. He didn’t see me. I made sure to stay hidden in the shadows. He was married to a woman in the village by then, and I didn’t see any point in disrupting his life any more than I already had.”

“Where did you go after that?”

“I wandered from place to place mostly,” I say, reliving that restless time in my life as hundreds of images flash through my mind all at once. “I didn’t feel like I had any real purpose here anymore. I fought in wars that I didn’t really believe in. They were simply justifiable ways for me to find a release for my anger.”

“Yet, even with all your anger, you never gave in to your bloodlust.”

“It wasn’t because I didn’t want to drink human blood,” I confess, feeling a wave of such a craving overcome me for a split second before I willed it to abate. “I desperately wanted to. I still do from time to time, but, I knew if I did, it would just be another betrayal in God’s eyes. I didn’t want to disappoint my father by failing another one of His trials.”

“How many people have you killed in your life?”

“I don’t know,” I admit uncomfortably. “Thousands, I suppose. I never attempted to keep count. I don’t think I could have, even if I wanted to. Most of the time, especially in a large battle, I let the beast inside me come out and play. I could wipe out a battalion of men in just a few minutes. Their lives didn’t mean anything to me back then.”

“How did you justify killing so many people?” Rafe questions, not in an accusing way. I could tell from his tone that he just wanted to understand me better. “How did you make the distinction between what you did and giving into your bloodlust?”

“I would always fight for those who said they were following God’s orders,” I say. “Since He no longer spoke to me, I needed to believe there was still a way for me to do His work here on Earth. Some of the people I fought for simply used the name of God to get what they wanted from their crusades, but I still believe some of them truly thought they were doing what my father wanted them to do. It wasn’t until the world became more civilized that I ran out of people to fight for. I started to get bored.”

“You don’t seem like the type of person who would just sit around and do nothing.”

“I wasn’t. I’m still not. I decided that if God wouldn’t give me a mission to carry out, I would make one for myself.”

“What did you decide to do?” Rafe asks hesitantly.

“I started my own private crusade against the children of the other Watchers. At least, the ones that I knew had given into their bloodlust.”

I phase Rafe to the summit crater glacier on Mt. Rainier.

“Once I caught a Watcher child,” I tell him, feeling detached from my words as I remember those I killed, “I would bring it here and offer it a chance to fight for its life. It was an empty offer, of course. I knew none of them was a match for me, but giving them the opportunity to defend themselves helped me justify killing them.”

“How…many… did you kill here?” Rafe asks haltingly.

I look over at him and see that his pauses weren’t caused by his disgust over what I did here, but because he’s shivering violently from the biting-cold wind. It’s only then that I realize the temperature on top of the mountain is below freezing.

I quickly phase us to a warm beach in the Caribbean. We’re back to our own time zone now, and the sun is just beginning to dip lower on the horizon, kissing the edge of the blue-green sea.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize. “I shouldn’t have taken you up there. Sometimes I forget that you’re human.”

“No…it’s fine,” Rafe says, still shivering slightly.

Without thinking, I let go of Rafe’s hand so I can wrap my arms around his torso and press my body against his to share my natural warmth with him. Rafe breathes a sigh of relief, and his shivering soon subsides. Even after I know he’s not cold anymore, I continue to hold him close, with my head resting against his shoulder. I close my eyes and feel a sensation I haven’t felt in years.

I feel safe.

“I killed exactly twenty Watcher children,” I tell him, answering the question he asked before I inadvertently almost froze him to death. “That’s why it was so easy for Peyton to believe I would kill Dillon. I probably would have killed more if Brand hadn’t stopped me.”

“How did he do that?” Rafe asks, tightening his hold on me.

“He discovered what I was doing, and found out I took them to the crater to fight for their lives. He was there the last time, waiting for me. That’s why the number isn’t twenty-one.”

“How did he convince you to stop what you were doing?”

“By reminding me that God wouldn’t send me to kill the innocent. The children weren’t the ones to blame for their crimes. Their parents were. He convinced me that if I really wanted to do something that our father would approve of, that I should join him and his group in their fight against the Watchers who followed Lucian. I don’t know if I’ve done enough yet to gain His forgiveness, but I promise you that I’m doing my best to earn it.”

We fall into a mutual silence after my confession. After a few minutes, I hear Rafe whisper, “Nina…”

Reluctantly, I lift my head to meet his eyes, afraid that I’ll see his disappointment in me. Instead, I find a depth of understanding in his expression that I don’t feel worthy of.

“Thank you,” he tells me.

“For what?” I ask.

“For sharing your past with me,” he says. “I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to relive all that.”

“I thought you had the right to know who I used to be first.”