Vaalbara; Visions & Shadows (6 page)

             
But Ryan suddenly turned away and started walking again. So, instead of getting my sweet dream, the angels were put on hold and the hoodie was wrapped tighter around my head.

             
After a few seconds, we passed a group of guys I didn’t know from a bar of soap and, of course, one of the idiots had to open his big bloody mouth.

             
“Let us know if the ‘freak’ is any good!”

             
They all burst out laughing as I cringed.

             
Another added, “Yeah, it’s the weird ones who go all the way.”

             
I tried not to show any reaction - tried to pretend the words didn’t cut - like everything else in life never bothered me. This time it didn’t work. My nails dug into Ryan’s hand as I clung to him.

             
Ryan tensed. I heard him grind his teeth, clenching his jaws to keep himself from responding. It was at that moment, even though I’d only known him for a few days that I realized something had happened between us. We did share a bond and, no matter what the future held, he would always hold a piece of my heart. It was at this point I knew he understood what I went through every day.

             
“I’m sorry you had to hear th-that.” My voice was filled with emotion.

             
“No!” He took a deep breath. “You do not ever apologize for humans like them. I should go back and confront them. How dare they even lay their eyes upon you! They should be blinded as punishment!” His voice dripped with so much anger I could only stare at him. I was surprised to see how dark his eyes were. They were almost purple, no longer the smoky blue-violet I had grown to like.

             
Again, that ‘something’ that was so different about him stared me right in the face; it was on the tip of my tongue. I stared at those stormy eyes and that alluring mouth set in an angry line, and it hit me. It was how he spoke. Ryan’s dialect - his pronunciation - was so different from everyone else’s. It was almost regal - like a gallant knight now trapped in my crummy existence. 

             
Ryan’s eyes flickered away from my steady gaze and he swallowed hard. He took two steps away from me, and then froze. I was being stupid now, thinking of things like that while he was upset about what had just happened. I closed the gap between us and tried my best to smile.

             
“I know how you f-feel. But it’s better t-to ignore th-them. Come on.” I took a deep breath to calm myself. It was my turn to drag him in the direction of the cafeteria. “Remember, you were going t-to t-torture me by pretending we were a couple?”

             
He was smiling again and had his arm around my shoulder, holding me to him. It felt good. I needed it.

             
“Yes, come, let us go and shock the rest of the school.” He held me really close; his lips pressed against my hair. The feeling was almost like a drug, making it hard for me to concentrate on anything except his closeness.

“Yes, but we aren’t a couple.” I reminded him. “We’re just friends, after all.”

His smile grew big. You could tell he was really enjoying this. “True,” he said, with a laugh. “Though they are all on a need to know basis, and they do not need to know we are just friends. You say they see you as the local freak. Well, it is time for them to see what I see. Come on, it is going to be most enjoyable.” He was excited; he was like a child in a candy store.

Sid, is it just me or did he go from angry to happy in two seconds flat?
Maybe he was doing the happy thing to try and divert my attention away from what had just happened. I had to smile.
That would be really thoughtful of him, wouldn’t it Sid?

He pulled my hood back and fluffed out my hair as we walked. I felt myself respond like any of the other girls’ would; my stomach fluttered while delight coursed through my veins. Any of the other girls would’ve killed to have Ryan give them the attention he’d given me. Molly could keep her heated floors and full closet, I decided, I’d take Ryan any day.

We walked deeper into the cafeteria - a.k.a., the den of morons - and almost every head turned in our direction. My heartbeat sped up so fast I was sure it was looking for a way out of my chest.

“I don’t know what to do.” My voice trembled with insecurity, while beside me walked a guy with the most confidence I’d ever seen in my life.

Again, that reminded me of someone, but I just couldn’t place where I had seen him before. With his one arm still around my shoulder, he gave me a quick hug. His aftershave surrounded me like a cloak. I took a few deep breaths, savoring him, knowing it would calm me down.

“All will be well. All you have to do is smile.”

His lips were constantly moving close to my hair. I had to struggle not to close my eyes and just give myself over to the moment.

“Great. You lead me into the slaughterhouse and tell me to relax,” I mumbled. I could feel his body vibrating against mine as he laughed.

“Hi, Ryan.” It was Kate’s voice. Dear old irritating Kate. I tried desperately to pull away from him, but he just held me tighter. Kate’s eyes quickly jumped from Ryan to me, before she gave him her sweetest smile. Then she did her ‘thing’, she flipped her hair back and moved in on him like a cougar, ignoring the fact that I was standing right there.

“I’m Kate, the head cheerleader, and I just wanted to officially welcome you to our school.” She practically purred at him.

I, on the other hand, was going to gag. Ryan just gave her a polite smile that totally had to mess with her head. I tried to suppress my own smile which was going to turn into full blown hysterical laughter at the sight of her facial expression. She looked so pathetically smitten, it was hilarious.
Crap, Sid, I hope I don’t look like that.

“That is very kind of you and thank you, but you will have to excuse us. We are on our way to get lunch.” And with that, he steered me towards the growing food line.

“I can’t believe you just did that. Did you see her face? She’s most likely in the bathroom crying while a whole squad of Barbie dolls tries to calm her down.” I stretched my neck to try and see over his shoulder, sputtering with laughter.

“Now why would she react that way to what I said to her? I declined politely, did I not?” He looked down at me; true confusion imprinted on the lines of his face.

“She is crushing on you.”

“Crushing on me?” Okay, now he looked just plain lost.

Now I was the one confused. “Yeah. Crush. You know? She was hitting on you.” He still wasn’t following. “She’s taken with you and you didn’t even give her the time of day.” A spark of understanding filled the smoky violet eyes.

“Oh,” Ryan said, quietly. “But…why would she be taken with me? I did not do anything to win her honor. Why would she be upset?”

“
Are you kidding
?” My eyebrow was raised so high that my forehead actually began to hurt. There was even more proof. Ryan’s dialect - his lingo - wasn’t the same as ours. Not to mention, I’d only heard him curse once - if you could call ‘dammit’ cursing in this day and age. I couldn’t keep back the sarcasm. “People don’t need reasons to like each other you know. It just happens.”

“It is really unfortunate that she is taken with me, as I have no interest in her.” He seemed to be very serious. “I mean I have you to give all my attention to.”

He managed to stun me again. “Lucky me.”
Sid, you could say that again and go thank
Lady Luck while you’re at it.

~*~

It was three weeks later - Thursday, to be exact - when I ran out of my house to that brown, waiting jeep as if I was floating on gossamer wings. Watching my step on the ice, I opened the passenger door as fast as I could to get out of the cold and into the warmth of that smoky violet gaze.

             
“Morning, my fair Aislinn.” His cheerfulness filled the jeep and surrounded me as soon as I got in.

“Mornin’.” My teeth shuddered against one another.

“That is all? Just mornin’?” He acted offended.

“Okay, how about…‘Good morning my fair Ryan’?”

We both burst out laughing, which warmed me up even faster. We carried on joking around until we arrived at school. He pulled the jeep into its normal spot next to Molly’s car.

I had somehow managed to deal with my feelings, keeping them hidden so he wouldn’t notice that I was just as big a geek for him as the school’s head cheerleader.

We were walking across the stretch of green when he nudged me. “What are you thinking?”

“Molly’s having a party at the house tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come?” I was actually praying that he would come, and then I wouldn’t be alone in a house full of people I hated.

“If you want me there, I will be there.”

“Truth is, I need you there. We don’t need to mingle, we can hide somewhere. We can watch a DVD if you want.” I was just happy he’d agreed to come.

“Anything, Aislinn. We can do anything you wish.”

The ideas began to flow…

~*~

You could feel the change in the atmosphere when we got to school on Friday morning. Everyone was geared up for the party. The day dragged on endlessly because, for the first time in all my life, I actually had plans for the weekend. I told Ryan we could still do something else, but he was adamant now. We’d be going to this party.

When the bell eventually rang for the end of last period, the classroom cleared in seconds. The house would be packed before we even got there.

“We need to hurry. I forgot to lock the door to my bedroom.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him behind me, as he started to laugh.

“Don’t laugh at me!” I hit my foot against the ground for more emphasis.

“Are you afraid you will find a couple adoring each other in your room?” I got in the jeep, tired of his teasing.

“I would not use the word ‘adore’, they go way beyond that around here.” 

He started the jeep and pulled away from the school. I loved the way he drove. Then again, I had yet to find something about him I didn’t like.

Within minutes he parked his jeep in the driveway. There were already quite a few cars parked out front.

Damn, I would not be held responsible for what I would do to the person, should I find someone in my room. I let out a sigh of relief when I opened my door and found the room empty.

Ryan placed his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them gently as he pushed me into the room.

“See? You were anxious for no reason. But while we are here you might as well show me the room you call home.” He stepped around me and walked towards my dresser.
             
Crap, not the dresser! My diary was sprawled open on top, ready for him to read what I had written the night before. I shot past him, grabbing the book to my chest.

“Now what do you have there?”

“My private diary.”

“Oh.” He moved closer still. “So if I wanted to know all your secrets and what mysteries surround you, then that would be the book I should read.” I would have thought he was joking, but his trademark lazy smile was nowhere to be found.

Turning away, Ryan clasped his hands behind his back as he moved to the window. He stood there in silence for a good few minutes before glancing in my direction.

“Why the interest in my personal life, Ryan?” I knew why I was interested in him, but I still couldn’t figure out why he was so interested in me.

He gave me a weird look I couldn’t place. “I would like to know my friend better.”

“Why? Heck, counting the legs on dead roaches would be more interesting than talking about me.”

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Do you know when your birthday is?”

“Not my real one.” I was thinking about telling him everything tonight. I mean, it couldn’t hurt, could it? At least I would have someone to talk to. A real person, not some imaginary friend.
Sorry, Sid.

I could start by telling him about my made up birthday. I could use it as a test. If he didn’t laugh, he’d pass.

“I celebrate my birthday on the day they found me. I know it’s silly, but at least it’s some way of keeping track of the years passing me by.”

“Do you not want to know when your real birthday is?” He looked sincere and, oddly, concerned.

“No, it doesn’t really bother me anymore.” He took a seat on my bed. “It did in the beginning. I wanted to know who I was and where I came from. But then I just gave up and accepted who I was. I can’t change what happened. I am who I am, I guess.” I shrugged.

Ryan nodded and looked out the window. “When do you celebrate, then?” 

I didn’t answer immediately. I had never celebrated
any
kind of birthday. I’d always just taken Sid and me to my waterfall.

Ryan gave me one of those piercing gazes that told me I had no choice - I had to tell him.

“It’s tomorrow, okay? Tomorrow I’ll be eighteen.” I had expected to feel like an idiot after sharing it with him, but I didn’t. I did, however, wonder what he thought of me - the girl who had no past, no real birthday, and the only future I was involved in was those I predicted for others.