Vacant Faith (2 page)

Werion fell silent, lost again to the past,
until Alina finally shook him lightly to bring his attention back
to the present. “Is that why she became your sister?”

“I suppose it is at that. The three of us
made for a strange little pack, but those were mostly happy days
that we spent together .Running through the forest, playing in
meadows, sleeping curled up together blanketed by the night sky. I
wish it could have lasted longer.”

“What happened?” Alina asked softly, almost
not wanting to know the answer. For a while there was only silence,
and she wondered if her voice had been too soft for him to
hear.

“Alina, my precious jewel.” Werion said at
last, turning his head to look away from her. “Do you know why I
spend some nights outside? When you and your mother are forced to
hide from me?”

“Mommy says it's because you hafta fight with
a monster and we have to make sure your chains are good and tight
so the monster can never carry you away from us.” Alina replied
with a nod. “Because you might get lost and not find your way home.
She says you always win eventually and keep us safe, but we have to
hide so you don't have to worry about us and can focus on beating
the monster.”

A faint smile played briefly across Werion's
lips before disappearing again. “Well, it is something like that.”
He turned to look at her and the smile returned. “You see, when
your grandmother saved me, she did it by sharing a part of herself.
For another wolf, this would be nothing but beneficial.” Alina
opened her mouth to interrupt but a raised finger from her father
silenced her. “Beneficial. It means useful or helpful in some way,
dear heart. But as I was not a wolf but a horse, usually prey to a
wolf, there were... problems.”

His smile again faded as he began to
concentrate on choosing his words carefully. “You know how I say
that I ache all the time? Well, that's part of it. As I grew older,
the pains began to come. Some nights I could do nothing but lay on
the ground and endure them, my coat drenched in sweat. Knowing
nothing of horses herself except that they were used by the humans,
Mother assumed it was a normal part of my growth and did what she
could to comfort me until I fell to sleep. Then they went away by
morning.”

“Like growing pains?” The little girl
asked.

“Yes, something like that, but these pains
grew stronger as I grew older. I learned to endure them over time
and by the time it became a constant ache, I was able to ignore it
for the most part. I wish that was the worst I had to endure from
Mother changing me, I would accept it and gladly. But a few years
later came the change. The, um, monster your mother referred to.
You see, my dearest one, I become the monster. It is a part of
me.”

Alina looked up at her father in wide eyed
astonishment as she tried to make sense of his words. Her own
father, who she adored beyond anything else in her small world, was
telling her that he was the very monster that she had come to fear
and hate. Memories flashed across her mind. Memories of nights
spent huddled close against her mother in a small dark room with
her eyes squeezed shut as if to block out the horrible sounds that
seeped under the door. Memories of her mother covering her mouth
when she cried. Memories of whispered assurances that it would be
alright, that her father would protect them both and fight off the
monster come morning, but they had to stay quiet and offer him
their strength in silent prayer. Then came memories of her father's
brilliant smile as he lifted her into his arms and spun her around,
both of them laughing. Memories of scraped knees being kissed all
better, of nightmares being soothed away, of laying together in the
sun-warmed grass, making animals out of clouds.

Her father was her protector; her shield
against harm. He fought off the darkness and chased away the
monsters. How could he possibly be one himself? She began to shake
her head in disbelief, sure that she had somehow misunderstood.

“When the change came, I turned into... some
kind of creature that I had no control over. This...thing... it
wanted nothing but to kill. Kill anything and everything it could.
The creature somehow found its way into a human village that first
night. So many innocent lives...” Werion's skin began to grow pale
and Alina worried he would be ill, but he continued his story.
“After that, humans became the creature's preferred prey. And
humans do not like to be preyed on. At least once a cycle my body
would be taken over by this creature, and it would hunt,
slaughtering humans for nothing but sport and laughing at their
efforts to trap or kill it. A cruel and vile thing, leaving me with
the memory of its terrible deeds when morning came and it was
forced to retreat. It was as if it fed not only on the pain of its
victims, but mine as well.”

A small tear shimmered as it began to roll
down Werion's cheek, leaving a trail for those that soon followed.
“And there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop it.” His voice
was choked as he spoke, tormented by his past deeds. “Banding
together, the humans of several villages scoured the land,
searching for me. In my place, they found Mother and Rowna. And
what they did to them...” The words faded away and he swallowed
loudly. “I... I found them. One morning after the change. What
was... left...” A hard shudder ran through the man's body and he
closed his eyes, unable to continue.

Alina felt sorry for bringing up his past at
all. As her father curled himself into a tight, sobbing ball, she
laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and thought the silent
prayers meant to lend him her strength. Werion's crying continued
for several more minutes, but as it finally subsided, he reached up
to cover her hand with his own. “My precious darling, I'm so sorry.
I should never have allowed myself to wallow like that. Especially
not in front of you.” Sitting up again, he wiped his face with his
other hand, clasping her tiny fingers gently. “Please forgive
me.”

“It's okay, daddy. It's not your fault what
the humans did.” She replied, frowning slightly. “Why do we have to
be like the humans anyway? I don't like them. They're mean and ugly
and cruel.”

“Some of them are, yes.” Werion said softly,
turning his gaze back to the small girl. “But many of them are
quite good and decent folk. And some of them are neither. You can't
judge them all by the stories your mother tells. She... has her
reasons for her feelings towards her own people.” He sighed softly.
“But you've never even met a human besides her before. Don't judge
them all by the deeds of a few.”

“Don't you hate them?” Alina asked, looking
up with eyes widened in surprise. “After what they did to Gramma
and your sister, and what Mommy says they did when they came...”
She paused as a new thought struck her. “Mommy's human too?”

“I hate no one, dearest one. Even those who
wrong me only do so because they feel it is the best option for
their own survival.” He offered her a smile, but it felt sad to the
small girl. “And your mother is just as human as those who caused
the Great War. As much as she dislikes her own kind, she likes the
idea of being too far away from them even less. Now, how about we
head for home? No doubt Kirani will want us to wash up before
supper.”

“Alright.” Alina agreed reluctantly, rising
to her feet. “But Daddy, will I ever... change? Like you do?”

A look of horror crossed the man's features
before he was able to bring them back under his control. Alina
wondered if she had asked another bad question. “I hope not, soul
of my soul. I hope you never have any unpleasantness touch your
life. Especially none that mirrors my own.” Without giving time for
further questions, Werion rocked himself forward to his hands and
knees to change back into the palomino stallion.

Alina threw the riding blanket across the
stallion's broad back and climbed on with practiced ease. “Let's
ride!” She cried out as her fingers curled around his silken
mane.

The stallion let out a loud neigh and took
off at his slowest walk, stretching out his long neck and bobbing
his head as if he were galloping at his fastest. Alina's laughter
was music to his ears.

************************

Kirani gently rubbed a flower petal between
her thumb and forefinger, admiring its softness. She began to reach
out to pluck the flower it belonged to when the sound of hoof beats
reached her ears. Looking up, she saw her daughter riding a large
palomino stallion and smiled, waving a greeting as the pair
approached.

The stallion slowed his pace as he got closer
to the house, offering a cheerful neigh of greeting in return.
Alina waved back with enthusiasm, her blond hair shining goldenly
in the bright sunlight.

The flower forgotten, Kirani began walking
down the cobblestone path to meet her approaching family. The
stallion halted to allow the girl to jump from his back before she
eagerly ran to her mother. Kirani smiled broadly as she knelt and
spread her arms wide in invitation, embracing the young girl as if
they had been apart for days rather than just a few hours.

“Mommy! Mommy! We're related to watchwilfs!”
Alina exclaimed in excitement. “I mean witchwolfs! Daddy was
telling me all about it! He said Gramma was a wolf. But she didn't
call herself a wolf because she knew she wasn't a bird or a river.
But the humans made them go away and it made Daddy sad.”

The smile faded from Kirani's face, but she
forced it back as she looked to the child. “That sounds exciting,
dear. Why don't you go wash up and you can tell me all about it
while we make supper. Alright?”

“Okay!” Alina agreed and giggled happily as
she ran toward the house.

Kirani rose back to her feet as the stallion
approached, stretching out his neck to nuzzle her gently. She
kissed his velvet nose and sighed, resting her forehead against
that of the stallion. “Welcome home, my love. I trust the two of
you had a good day together.” Werion gave an affirmative nicker.
“Do you really think it was a good idea to tell her about your
mother? She's still so young yet. I don't know if she's ready to
know about-” Her words were cut off as the stallion lifted his head
and begin lipping at her ear. Kirani laughed and playfully shoved
him away, rubbing her ear. “Stop that you silly brute! You know
your whiskers tickle!” Werion offered only a chuckling nicker, his
demeanor anything but abashed. “Fine, we'll talk about this later.
Go change in the barn so that you can help Alina and I with
dinner.”

Kirani gave the stallion's flank a playful
slap as he walked past her, then headed back to the house where her
daughter eagerly awaited, ready to tell her all about the adventure
she had been on. Alina was already sitting at the table shelling a
bowl of peas from their garden. As soon as the girl saw Kirani she
began to eagerly babble on about her day, most of it spent at
places simply named for what she felt was important about them.

“You so should have come with us, mommy.” The
young girl began. “First we went to the creek, and daddy was
splashing me, and I almost caught a fish in my fingers but it was
too slimy and it got away. So daddy said I had to wash the fish
slime off of my hands before he'd let me climb on his back, and
then we went to the bridge and I threw a rock but it hit another
rock and bounced clear out of the water and I said 'You silly rock,
you're not supposed to do that.' And daddy made this funny voice
like he was the rock and he said...”

Kirani smiled as she listened to the
recounting of the girl's day, nodding in all of the appropriate
places, but the words began to fade from her attention. Walking to
her cutting board, she found the knife and small pile of carrots
waiting for her, just as she had left them. Still nodding to the
recounted story she was no longer listening to, she began to slice
the carrots, dumping them into the battered old stew pot that
rested in the sink. Her thoughts began to turn to her husband.

Kirani wanted to talk to him about their
daughter, concerned that she wasn't quite old enough to know the
truth about him. Kirani herself did not even know the full story.
When Werion had tried to tell her, he had been unable to finish and
they had decided not to speak about the subject again. What he had
managed to tell her, however, had been enough.

The day she had first met Werion, Kirani had
been checking her father's traps, surprised to find a man ensnared
in one of them instead of a rabbit. The man was naked and filthy,
his skin covered in old scars. Heavy iron manacles circled his
wrists and ankles, dragging heavy chains from each. At first she
had mistaken him for dead, then she wondered if he was an escaped
prisoner from another village.

She had knelt down to check for a pulse, and
before her hand had even touched him, he had surprised her by
grabbing her wrist and looking up at her. He then began begging her
in a raspy voice to tell him if anyone had been hurt in the night.
Before she had been able to reply, he had begun to cry, releasing
her to cover his face in his hands as he mumbled something she
could not understand. Kirani's heart had broken for the poor man,
who she felt must be ailing from madness, and offered him some of
the bread and cheese she had packed for her lunch, then giving him
her cloak to cover his nakedness.

The sudden pressure of a strong arm wrapping
about her waist pulled the woman from her daydreams. She felt
something thin and cool pressed into her hair and behind her ear.
Reaching up to see what had been placed there, she was pleased when
her fingers felt the silk of flower petals. “I saw you admiring it
as I approached.” Came Werion's voice in her other ear, followed by
a soft kiss to her cheek. “I thought it would look better on you
than in the garden, but you're already so beautiful that you make
that bloom look plain in comparison.”