Vaewolf: Damn the Darkness: The Prophecy's Promise (Hearts of Darkness Book 3) (19 page)

The anger helped her gather mental strength—strength to tear away from his penetrating examination. She erected more of her own mental shields, yet, the tightness in her chest and the burning in her throat didn’t stop.

“Sorry, lass,” he said, “I don’t mean to hurt you. I mean you no harm.”

“Really? Well, you have a strange way of demonstrating it.” She blinked to clear her watery vision. “Did you notice, while you were wandering through my head, I’m not okay, either?” Her voice cracked as she inhaled a sob.

Dylan climbed the steps two at a time, gathering her into his embrace. He drew her tightly against his body, nuzzled her neck, and whispered, “Shush lass, don’t. Please don’t cry.”

Too late.

She ground her teeth to fight back the tears, but to no avail. Being in his arms felt so right, so good. The dam burst, and she dissolved into a blubbering mess while his hold on her tightened. After letting herself go, she freed the racking sobs she’d held back since she’d regained consciousness. Eventually, the sobs quieted to slow, silent weeping, and occasionally a shudder followed.

Once he cocooned her, nothing could come between them, and his firm soothing touch reassured her. Dylan, his substance so much a part of her, woven into the fabric of her soul, just his nearness, the feel of his body against hers, chased away the fears.

She paused to inhale, taking in his familiar delicious scent, and after a few deep breaths, the outside world dissolved. Her racing heart finally calmed.

There was so much to understand about everything in her new life, including what had happened to her tonight—too many unanswered questions—questions she needed answers to in order to survive.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“Where do I start?”

~~~~

Dylan sighed, and for several seconds didn’t say anything more, but his hold on her tightened as if he’d lose her if he didn’t hang on.

“Come,” he said, leading her back to the porch swing. He held the swing so she could sit, then sat down beside her.

“I want to know what happened to me tonight. You should probably start in the beginning. But first, please answer my other question. What happened to Jackson?”

“He’s alive, if that’s what you’re asking.” He released a long sigh, clenching and unclenching his fists. “He’s not hurt—physically. All right?”

“All right.” She waited a few beats, holding her breath, the tension still thick between them. “But he’s hurting?”

“Sure. He’s as troubled as we are—probably more since he’s alone.” The empathy—or the concern—in Dylan’s words couldn’t be clearer.

“What happened...between Jackson and me? I want the facts.”

She played with the buttons on his shirt, the ones that were left. Her touch seemed to relax him a little. The strain was still there. She could feel it. But he was responding to her presence.

“Caitlin, before we get into that, remember nothing has changed about the way I feel for you—I’m in love with you.”

“Dylan, to clarify—we are in love with each other. I love you, too. There was nothing before there was you.
You
are the man I love. Tell me what happened to me tonight and stop stalling.”

He set her aside and bent resting his forearms along his knees. “I think you know what happened. You want me to say the words?”

“The
calling?
” She shook her head, and a shiver of need ran down her spine. “No. How can it be? Not with him, too. I’m so sorry, Dylan.”

“You’re not at fault, here. It is what it is.” He turned and glanced over his shoulder from his tense position. He folded his hands together, but his knuckles were white.

Caitlin reached forward taking his hands in hers. She pulled him back to her. “So, what now? It doesn’t matter if I’m attracted to him.” She risked taking the painful initiative, admitting what she felt. “I won’t act on it. It’s you I love.”

“You may not want to act on it, but you will. You won’t be able to deny it forever,” he said while she stared down at their joined hands.

The way he stroked the inside of her wrist soothed her, yet she was unwilling to look him in the eye while discussing the topic of her sexual attraction to Jackson, a complete stranger to her.

Scrunching her eyes closed, she said a prayer.
Don’t let him be right about this.

“Caitlin?” With his forefinger he tilted her face up waiting for her to meet his gaze. “Believe me when I say I don’t blame you for what you’re feeling.” He cupped her face gently, so much so she wanted to cry, and he forced her to keep her eyes on his so she could see his sincerity.

“I’m so embarrassed. What will Jacks...he...everyone think of me?” She stumbled over his name as if saying it would somehow give him power over her.

Dylan stroked her hair. “No one will think anything. This is how we find our mates.”

“
You
are my mate! I made such a fool out of myself with my lack of control.” How could she make it up to him? “My God, it was awful. Even I could smell my scent heating for h-him.”

“Shush.” His jaw clenched. “You can’t control it.”

“I will.” She dropped her face to Dylan’s chest, knowing he was right. It had been the same between them. She clung tightly to him and whispered. “He caught me off guard, but I’ll won’t make that mistake again.”

“I’m afraid it’s not a mistake. He and I share Niccolai’s blood. I think I messed things up when I let Shelby sire you and supplemented her blood with mine. All along, I think Niccolai meant for me to sire you and save you for Jackson. This is my mistake. No one else’s.”

“We wouldn’t have this if you had. We would have had the relationship Shelby has with Max...what you have with Niccolai...what I have with Shelby.”

“Believe me, I didn’t have any idea this would happen. I have to keep reminding myself you had to be kept alive at all costs, but I should have been your sire not your life mate.”

“We imprinted before you turned me. Are you sorry we imprinted on each other?”

The hiss Dylan released was one of sexual frustration. “Hell, no. Our joining brings me more pleasure than I ever hoped for.”

“What have I done?”

“You have done nothing. This isn’t a normal male female attraction. He believes you are his wolf’s mate, Caitlin.”

“I can’t help what he thinks, but I don’t feel like his wolf’s mate. Not me. I don’t know
what
I feel. You’ve been enough—everything to me. Up until now our happiness has been like a reservoir of water building behind a dam, plentiful and safe, and protected. Then this...This is like an earthquake threatening to collapse the dam and empty our reservoir. I couldn’t bear losing what we have between us.”

“Caitlin, what’s between us isn’t the same as the bond you formed with Jackson. We met, bonded, worked together, and fell in love. It was different than the way the wolf imprints.”

“I did feel the
calling
, though—the same uncontrollable attraction for him, I felt with you the first time I saw you. Something inside me seems to recognize him. It can’t be the blood. Although, I wasn’t willing to act on my feelings, immediately, I knew being with you was as necessary as breathing. It was inevitable, just a matter of time.”

“But you’re a vampire now with a different libido. You’re also newly changed. All your senses are more highly acute. The newly made are more susceptible. Even though he’s almost thirty and spawned from one of the oldest and most powerful vampires in the world, Jackson’s wolf is young. It’s part of the reason you both imprinted so strongly on one another. He hasn’t gained control over his own emotions, and yours are raw and vulnerable.”

There was no point pretending the attraction between her and Jackson hadn’t been a burning inferno while it lasted, like spontaneous combustion, undeniable and irresistible.

“But this isn’t love. How I feel about Jackson doesn’t change the fact it’s you I love with my entire being.”

She slammed her hand to her chest swearing she would fight the bond she felt for the hybrid, and the link weaving its way inside her heart. She wouldn’t accept how the bond had already begun the quickening within her soul. Because in spite of her guilt over her reaction to Jackson and her outward denial, she had to admit, at least to herself, she had begun experiencing an irresistible need for both men.

But there was no way she would hurt Dylan.

“He’s hurting.”

“Hurting?” she asked. “Try horrified. I’m psychic and your bond with him through his father gives me a sense of his emotions. I felt them as soon as he realized what happened. Poor thing was trying to fight it the minute he figured out who I was. He loves you, Dylan, and cares about you as much as you care about him. I may be upset and confused about all this,” she lowered her voice and stroked his chest, “but, my darling, not nearly the way it’s affected you two. The man you think of as a brother, the child of your maker, has imprinted on your life mate. How else could you feel, but betrayed? How else can he feel but devastated? I don’t want to be the cause of your pain.”

“Caitlin, you can’t hide from the
calling
to protect me.”

“I admit, something inside me is attracted to Jackson.”

“I know
exactly
what you’re feeling for Jackson. You’re wet and aching for him, even now.” Dylan’s jaw locked tight. “When you smell his scent, every cell in your body screams to be touched. The minute he made eye contact, the pulse inside you throbbed, your internal muscles clenched in anticipation of having him fill you—”

“Okay, okay, stop.” Caitlin yelled. “Fine, I’ll admit I’m drawn to him—physically—sexually. But he’s not here.” She clutched her fist to her breast and beat on her heart.

Just a tiny lie.

She told herself in truth, love and lust were not the same. Yet, something about the
calling
was a little of both.

“Until I get to know him and care for him in my heart, the feelings I have for him seem distant, as if they’re not really mine. The way I desire him is different from the way we—”

“Of course it is. What would you expect? Hell, when we met, neither of us had other lovers in our lives. But if there had been, I guarantee, the outcome would have been the same. I would have taken you, and you would have wanted me. We were lucky the
calling
came to us while we were working together, ready to fall in love, and nothing prevented us from accepting our connection.”

“I don’t want to want him,” she cried. “But the feeling is as strong, and as desperate as the way I wanted you. How can I love you and feel that way about him? I don’t even know him.”

“It’s the way of it
.
” He cupped her cheek and brushed his lips across hers. His hot breath sent heated trills through her body. The timber of his voice alone could make her hot and ready.

“Take me, Dylan make love to me and make me forget what happened, for now. Force everything and everyone, including him, from my mind.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He smiled and kissed her like a man possessed, driving his tongue into her mouth, exploring each recess,
claiming
her with each stroke. His hands gripped her hips, and she held on to him like a life-line. When he finally pulled away, they were both gasping hard staccato breaths. The rapid breathing, his silver eyes, and his lowered lids signaled his passion for her hadn’t diminished because of all this. He had to prove he still felt the same way for her.

“Take, me upstairs, Dylan. Make me forget.”

“For now, that’s all I want myself.”

Chapter Twenty Five

Facing the Truth

Dylan kissed his way down Caitlin’s neck and mumbled as he returned to her ear, “Don’t start worrying before we have all the answers.” He looked down at her with regret in his eyes. “I’ll have to find them and give you and Jackson time to get to know each other.”

“Know?” She jerked away. “How? As in the biblical sense?”

“Now, Caitlin...”

Was he nuts, trying to reason with her as she struggled against him? He tried to keep her in his embrace, but she pulled out of his arms.

“If you put us in the same room, I can tell you what happens next.” She shivered when his expression went stone cold. He already knew without her confronting him with her vision, and she hated that he was ready to let this happen.

“You know?”

He wouldn’t answer, and that hurt.

“I’m part dark sex fae. We don’t know how much.” Looking him straight in the eye, she warned him, “Even if Jackson wants to hold back, I won’t let him.”

Maybe drawing a picture for him this way was a low blow, but she struck back wanting to get a rise out of him, hoping reality would change his mind, and he’d find some other way to stop this.

“I was ready to strip down and wrap myself around him, discarding every barrier between us. I didn’t think of you, the people, the consequences. I didn’t care. I wanted his hands on me, his mouth on me…”