Valentino's Pregnancy Bombshell (9 page)

And, anyway, she couldn't just walk out of the theatre
and go to the bathroom. She was scrubbed, sterile. It would require degowning and then rescrubbing and regowning, and with theatre times tight they didn't have the luxury of running on the whims of her bladder.

She gritted her teeth and ignored it, holding the cuff of Valentino's glove open ready for him to thrust his hand straight in.

‘Thanks,' he murmured as he repeated the process on the other side.

Paige could tell by the smile in his eyes that his dimples would be flashing beneath the mask. Normally that would be exceedingly distracting, despite their determination to keep things asexual, but today, as her bladder twinged again, it didn't even rate.

She clamped down on the sensation, trying for mind over matter as the three-hour operation stretched in front of her. There was no physical way her bladder could be full again.

She'd had a glass of water with breakfast and that had been it. Years of working as a scrub nurse had taught her not to drink tea or coffee prior to commencing surgery for just this reason.

It wasn't physically possible to have anything in her bladder. Surely?

Maybe she had a urinary tract infection? But no. It hadn't stung or burned at all. Fever? She did feel hot but she was swaddled in a gown, under bright operating lights and holding her muscles so tight she was probably overheating every cell in her body.

Or maybe it was some kind of delayed cystitis from
that night a few weeks ago? Valentino's arm brushed hers and for a sweet second she was back on his lap again.

Ten minutes later, though, she knew she couldn't hold on any more. She was actually crossing her legs beneath her gown. ‘Darren can you scrub in, please?' she asked, hoping the discomfort in her abdomen wasn't detectable in her voice. Darren was one of the two scout nurses on for the theatre today.

Valentino, who was just preparing the drill, stopped and looked down at her. ‘Everything okay?'

She nodded as she passed him the next instrument. ‘Fine.'

The five minutes it took for Darren to wash his hands, re-enter the theatre, dry his hands and gown up felt like an hour as her bladder stretched to painful proportions. ‘Excuse me for a moment,' she murmured stepping back from the table and degloving and degowning as quickly as possible without looking like her underwear was on fire.

She made it to the bathroom in record time and had never been more pleased to sit on a toilet in her whole life. So when the sum total of fifteen mils was forthcoming Paige was totally unimpressed.

What the hell?

After a further ten minutes of sitting was no more productive, Paige finally gave up. She washed her hands in the sink, inspecting her face in the mirror. The hollows beneath her cheekbones seemed more pronounced in the harsh fluorescent light. Maybe she did have a UTI? One that just involved frequency? Or maybe a kidney stone was blocking the neck of her
bladder, only allowing a dribble through at a time? A painless one?

Hell, maybe she was the only woman on the planet to be in possession of a prostate gland?

She shook her head and watched her reflection follow suit. Maybe it'd be okay. Maybe it wouldn't happen again. Maybe she was going crazy and she should get back to work and stop worrying about something that was probably nothing.

She hurried back to the theatre, washing her hands again before donning a mask and pushing through the swing doors. Valentino and Darren both looked up as she entered.

‘You want to scrub back in?' Darren asked.

Paige shook her head. She didn't want to risk it. ‘You keep going. I'll scout.'

Which ended up being a wise decision. Paige spent the entire day in and out of the toilet. She may as well have stayed at home for all the help she'd been. And when the last patient was wheeled out of the theatre to Recovery she'd never been more pleased to clock off in her life.

She changed into her civvies, grabbed her handbag out of her locker and hurried back to Audiology to update the day's operating charts. The department had shut for the day and was deserted, for which she was grateful as she steamed into her office and made a quick phone call to her G.P.

This situation was ridiculous and needed remedying as soon as possible. She was put on hold straight away and Paige tapped her foot.

‘I knew I'd find you here.'

Paige startled a little as she looked up to see Nat beaming at her from the open doorway.

‘Hi.' She smiled back, gesturing for her friend to enter.

‘Oh, sorry,' Nat whispered, plonking herself in the chair opposite. ‘I didn't realise you were on the phone.'

‘It's okay. I'm on hold. What's up? You look like you just won a million bucks.'

Nat grinned. ‘Better. I'm—'

Paige held a finger up as the receptionist came on the other end. ‘Just a sec,' she said apologetically. ‘Hi, yes, my name's Paige Donald. I was wondering if Dr Mantara could squeeze me in this afternoon?'

Paige listened as the receptionist explained it was impossible and tried not to scream her frustration down the phone. There was no point in shooting the messenger. She took an early morning appointment the next day instead and hung up.

Nat crinkled her brow. ‘Everything okay?'

Paige sighed. ‘I don't know.' She looked at her friend. They'd been close during school but life had pulled them apart again until the last few years. Paige just hadn't had the time or an excess of emotional energy for the type of friendship most women valued. She didn't realise how isolated she'd become until right now as the urge to unburden took her by surprise.

‘I think…' She hesitated, unused to sharing such private matters. ‘I think I have a UTI.'

‘Okay.' Nat leaned forward, placing her elbows on the desk. ‘Why don't you start at the beginning?'

Paige told her about the day and the inconvenient frequency symptoms. ‘It has to be a UTI, right?'

Nat regarded her for a few moments. ‘You're not…? Could you be…pregnant?'

It took a few seconds for Paige to compute what her friend had said. And she laughed. ‘Don't be ridiculous,' she dismissed. And then she sobered as a cold hand clutched at her gut. No way. She couldn't be. Surely?

Nat watched a procession of emotions march across her friend's face. ‘Are you sure? I thought you and Valentino might be getting—'

‘Quite sure,' Paige interrupted, her heart booming like church bells in her chest.

Nat didn't think Paige looked overly convinced. She reached into her handbag. ‘I just happen to have an extra one of these.' She placed a packaged pregnancy test on the desk and pushed it towards Paige.

Paige looked at it like it was a venomous snake. She could not be pregnant. Could not. An image rose unbidden in her mind. Daisy's tiny white coffin covered in pale pink roses.

Even now it had the power to paralyse her.

‘You know it's the first thing the GP's going to do anyway,' Nat murmured. ‘Might as well save her the effort.'

Paige nodded, knowing Nat was right. She looked at the test again, a sudden thought occurring to her. ‘Just happen to have this huh?'

Nat shrugged. ‘I bought one of those two-in-ones…in case.'

Paige could tell from her friend's face that she'd already used the first one and was trying really hard to be sensitive to Paige's situation in the face of her own good news. ‘Does this mean congratulations are in order?'

Nat nodded and then grinned. ‘You're the first one to know.'

Paige grinned back, even though inside she felt bleaker than a Bronte moor. ‘That's fabulous, Nat.' She leaned forward and gave her friend a big hug. ‘Alessandro and Juliano will be over the moon.'

‘They'll be ecstatic,' Nat agreed. ‘I've been trying to get hold of Alessandro for the last two hours but he's not answering. I just had to tell someone.'

Paige smiled. ‘I feel honoured.'

They chatted for the next few minutes about due dates and morning sickness until Nat's phone beeped with a message from Alessandro. ‘He's at home.'

‘Well, what are you waiting for? Off you go,' Paige teased. When Nat hesitated she said, ‘I mean it, go. I'll be fine.'

Nat stood. ‘You will do the test, won't you?'

Paige eyeballed it, remembering the last time she'd done a pregnancy test. The joy. The hope. She looked away. ‘Yes.'

‘I'm going to ring in the morning and check on you.'

Paige rolled her eyes. ‘Yes, ma'am.'

Nat leaned down and gave her friend a quick squeeze. ‘I'll see you tomorrow.'

The room seemed preternaturally quiet after Nat left. There was just Paige and the test and her heart beat ticking loudly in the silence like the doomsday clock.

Her fingers trembled as she picked it up and turned it over and over. She couldn't do pregnant again. After Daisy had died she'd vowed to never make herself vulnerable like that again. She couldn't stand nine months of living on the edge, being paranoid about things going wrong, demanding scans every week, thinking the worst should there be no foetal movements for a minute, an hour, a day.

Giving birth in a haze of anxiety, constantly testing the baby's hearing, driving herself insane at the slightest sniffle.

Oh, God. What if it was twins again?

And what about McKenzie? Her child, the one she already had, needed her. There was no time for another. Certainly not for two. There was no spare time to give at all.

She just couldn't do it again.

‘Are you going to take that or just stare at it?'

Paige didn't have to look up to know Valentino was standing there. He sounded annoyed.

He could get in line.

‘I have a UTI,' she said, raising her face defiantly.

Even glowering at her from the doorway he looked magnificent and her breath caught in her throat. His hair was all messy from the cap and his top two buttons were undone. In another time and place, having his baby would have made her very happy indeed.

‘Is that why you kept leaving the theatre today?'

‘Yes,' she said testily.

‘So why bother with that?'

She shrugged. ‘Just pre-empting my GP.'

Valentino's heart beat a crazy tattoo in his chest. What if she was pregnant? What if his baby was already growing inside her? ‘What if it's positive?'

Paige felt her stress levels rise a notch. ‘It won't be.'

‘What if it is?' he insisted.

‘It isn't.'

Valentino wanted to shake her. Years ago he'd known briefly what it was like to have created life before it had been snatched away. He was surprised now at how fiercely he still wanted it. ‘So go and prove me wrong.'

Paige swallowed. She should. She knew she should. But at least here and now, with the test tucked safely away in its packaging, she could believe in her denial. Once it was out, once the test had been done, it became a whole different proposition.

She stood. ‘Fine.' It had been twenty minutes since she had last gone and the urge had returned with a vengeance. May as well get it over and done with. Then at least she could discount pregnancy and get on with having the right tests done.

Valentino stood his ground as she brushed by. He would not be shut out the second time around. ‘I'll wait in the lounge.'

Paige's legs felt like wet noodles as she made her way through the lounge area to the staff toilet. Her hands shook as she undid the packaging and it took her several attempts before she was able to liberate it. Between her nerveless fingers and the vibrations of her heartbeat she was frightened she was going to drop the damn thing in the loo!

She doubted very much that Valentino understood the potential impact of this test. How could a footloose, fancy-free, playboy bachelor understand the full implications? For him it was no doubt a test of his virility. Proof of his manliness.

But for her? It was a whole different proposition.

Still, regardless of that, it did need to be done so she took a deep breath and managed to eke out enough urine to do the test.

And even before the little plus appeared somewhere inside she knew.

‘Well?' Valentino asked as she appeared back in the open lounge area.

Paige held up the test, barely keeping upright as the foundations of her world crashed all round her. ‘It's positive.'

Valentino stared at the pink plus sign. It was a full minute before the information sank in. He was going to be a father. He smiled. And then he grinned. ‘This is the best news I've ever heard.'

Paige wasn't similarly overcome. In fact, a huge block of emotion built in her chest till she thought she was going to pass out from the pressure of it. It stung her eyes and prickled in her nose. She sucked in a breath. ‘No, Valentino, it's not. This is the worst possible news. You have no idea.'

And she burst into tears.

W
HATEVER
Valentino had been expecting it hadn't been this and confronted with her emotional state, he felt at a loss. ‘Hey,' he crooned, stepping forward and putting his arm around her shoulders.

Paige shrugged his arm away and moved back. ‘Don't touch me,' she half snapped, half sobbed as she wiped at her face with the heels of her palms. ‘That's what got us into this mess in the first place.'

‘It's not a mess, Paige,' Valentino said gently. ‘I'm really okay with this.'

Paige felt a bubble of hysteria rise in her throat to join the mix of other emotions. ‘How lovely,' she said sarcastically.

‘I'm just saying—'

‘Do me a favour,' she interrupted. ‘Don't say anything, okay?'

Valentino wisely followed her advice, standing silently, his fists curled by his sides while tears poured down her face. She was in shock. She needed a little time to wrap her head around it. He understood that. But
as far as he was concerned, he'd been primed for this moment for a long time. Ever since his ex-fiancée had come into his hospital half-dead from a botched backyard abortion.

Yes, since then he'd taken precautions to avoid it but whether it was his Italian pride or his legendary uncle status, he'd always known deep down that he wanted to be a father.

And he would move heaven and earth to make sure this child, his child, had everything it ever wanted.

Paige didn't know what to do with herself. Valentino had sat on one of the lounge chairs and was regarding her with his steady brown gaze. ‘How can you be so calm?' she demanded. Her cheeks felt hot and she knew she must look a mess. Her nose was running and her face was no doubt an ugly, blotchy mess.

Valentino shrugged. ‘I don't see the point in hysteria.'

Oh, really? As far as she was concerned, this was precisely the moment for hysteria. ‘Why?' she asked, raking her hands through her hair. ‘Why did you have to come along and ruin everything? I was perfectly happy the way I was.'

Valentino was prepared to talk about it, he was even prepared to argue and to cope with more tears, but he wouldn't sit here and listen to her lie to herself. ‘I think we both know that's not true.'

Paige choked on a sob. What did he know about her life? ‘Are you calling me a liar?'

‘I'm just calling it like I see it, Paige.'

Paige's lips twisted into a bitter grimace. ‘Oh? And what do you see? This should be interesting.'

‘I see a woman whose world was torn apart. One who's going through the motions but can't get any enjoyment out of life. I see someone who's physically and emotionally starving.'

Paige shied away from the truth that resonated in his words. ‘I'm eating,' she said, completely exasperated.

‘Great. So your stomach is full but what fills your emotional well, Paige?'

‘That doesn't matter,' she dismissed.

Valentino snorted. ‘Of course it does.'

‘Well, what fills yours, then, Valentino?'

‘Vivaldi.' It was sterner than he had meant it to come out but her stonewalling was frustrating in the extreme. He continued in a gentler tone. ‘A letter from my mother. The first time a patient hears sound. Children laughing. Bruschetta. The way a woman's waist curves out to her hip.
Swan Lake
.'

Hell, did he think she had time for ballet? ‘What? No raindrops on roses?'

‘Paige.' This was no time for deflection. ‘The point is I can take enjoyment from the world around me. When was the last time you did that? When was the last time you rejoiced in being alive?'

Paige fleetingly thought about those few seconds of dread that she woke with every morning and quickly pushed them aside.

‘Oh, for crying out loud,' she snapped. ‘I don't have time to get my emotional well filled.' She suddenly felt overwhelmed by everything and sat in the lounge opposite Valentino. ‘I'm the sole parent to a high-needs
child. I certainly don't have time for another baby. That wouldn't be fair to McKenzie.'

‘You don't think McKenzie would like a brother or a sister?'

Paige rubbed her brow. ‘I'm sure she would. I'm also pretty sure she'd like a unicorn. Unfortunately she doesn't get a say.'

Valentino chuckled but, as he had just stated, she didn't find any joy in it. She turned beseeching eyes on him. ‘I'm tired, Valentino.'

‘I'll be here. I'll help.'

Her gaze turned quickly incredulous. How long would it take an Italian playboy surgeon with an international reputation to grow tired of playing house in little old Brisbane? She hardened her heart to his pretty words. Arnie had also promised he'd help. Promised he'd be here until death parted them.

Obviously he'd taken Daisy's death as a literal translation. Their daughter hadn't even been in the ground a week when he'd left for good. She couldn't go through that kind of heartbreak again. She just couldn't.

‘And when London calls? When Harry gets back?'

Valentino hadn't thought that far ahead. ‘Then you come with me.'

Paige felt the broken edges of her heart grate together. ‘No, Valentino. I won't. This is my home. It's McKenzie's home. And whether you like it or not, we are a package deal. I'm not going to uproot her when she has years of therapy left.'

‘They do have speech pathologists in other parts of the world.'

Of course they did but Paige had vowed never to blindly follow a man again, like she had Arnie. ‘She trusts the St Auburn's team. Has built a relationship with them.'

He shrugged. ‘Children adapt.'

Paige glared at him. Spoken like a true egotist, used only to looking after himself. Not a responsible father who put the needs of a child first. ‘So let me get this straight. You want me to up sticks and follow you around the world with your child without any mention of us? Of our relationship? Do you even love me, Valentino?'

Valentino could see the stormy uncertainty in her gaze, the earnestness. He looked away. Love?
Dio!
He was too busy trying to come to terms with becoming a father. ‘I don't think that's relevant.'

Paige's head spun at his quick dismissal of the fundamental human emotion. ‘How is it not relevant, Valentino? Do you expect me to follow you around like a puppy dog, hoping you can squeeze your child in between your work and dating catwalk models?'

Valentino stood, the scorn in her voice stabbing like a stiletto between his ribs. ‘
Dio!
No, I have more respect for you than that. We would marry, of course.'

Paige blinked up at him. If that was a proposal, it sucked big time. Not to mention it was utter insanity. ‘What?'

He hadn't given any of this much thought but now it was out there he knew it was the right thing to do. ‘We'll get married.'

‘You just told me that love wasn't relevant and now you want to marry me?' Try as she may, Paige couldn't rid her voice of its high squeaky quality.

It had been a long time since Valentino had thought about love. About those three little words. But he did remember how callously they could be used. How empty they could be. ‘Did you love your husband?'

Paige frowned. ‘Yes. Of course.'

‘How'd that work out for you?'

Paige gasped. If her legs had been feeling remotely solid, she would have stood up and slapped his face.

Valentino could see he'd shocked her. Hurt her. He hadn't meant to be so insensitive. He sat. ‘I'm sorry, that was unthinking of me.'

She was sitting hunched forward in her chair and he reached across the space between them to squeeze her arm but Paige moved back out of his reach.

‘Yes, it was.'

Valentino regarded her solemnly for a few moments. ‘I don't have all the answers yet, Paige. I'm just saying we can work them out. We have time.'

Except the thought of going through it all again, of growing a baby inside, loving it, wanting it, was just too much for her to bear. Her head throbbed in unison with her heart. It was just all too overwhelming.

She stood. ‘I can't think straight any more. I have to get home. Mum will be wondering where I am.'

Valentino nodded. ‘Of course. Will you tell them about the baby?'

Paige frowned, her mind too full to think straight. ‘Of course. Eventually.'

She shuffled her feet awkwardly for a moment. Valentino's head was downcast. This had no doubt
thrown a huge spanner into the works for him too. And even though he'd just made the most preposterous suggestion she'd ever heard, she kind of got where it came from. This whole thing was completely unexpected.

She had the strangest urge to gather him in close and lay his cheek against her belly where their baby grew. Instead, she brushed past him with a quiet ‘Goodnight'.

Valentino grabbed her hand as she went by. She looked down at him and he fixed her with imploring eyes. ‘You won't do anything…rash, will you?'

His meaning was clear and her first reaction was anger. Did he seriously think she would go off behind his back and terminate his baby? Or that she'd go off riding a wild bronco or throw herself off a cliff with only a bungee cord around her ankle? But there was a plea in his gaze that reached right inside her gut and she realised he was as vulnerable, as unsure as she. He had as much at stake as she did.

It seemed natural then to follow through on her earlier impulse and move closer. She buried her hand in his hair and urged his cheek against her stomach.

‘Of course not. I won't do anything without talking to you first.'

Valentino shut his eyes as her fingers sifted through his hair and her aroma filled his senses. Her words were utterly sincere and he didn't doubt her. ‘Thank you,' he murmured, turning his face to press a kiss against her belly where his child nestled.

Paige shut her eyes as the innocent gesture constricted her throat and breathed fire into her belly. She
wished she could give him what he wanted. But what about when it conflicted with what she wanted?

What about her?

‘I need time to think. I have to go,' she said, wriggling out of his hold and striding away without looking back.

 

After a fitful sleep, Paige woke the next morning with only the craving to eat everything in her pantry trumping the dire urge to empty her bladder. She couldn't remember the last time she'd woken with biological matters taking such urgent precedence.

Usually she had to fight herself out of a thick shroud of grief that seemed to pounce in her sleep, making her limbs weak and dampening her mood, steeling herself to face the day for McKenzie's sake. But this morning she was so hungry none of that registered. She would have eaten the sheets had she been tied to the bed.

The devastating fact of her pregnancy, the thing that had had her tossing and turning all night, seemed to pale in comparison to her hunger. She felt like a grizzly bear coming awake after a long winter's hibernation.

The doorbell rang as Paige passed it and she checked her watch. Seven-thirty. A little early for her parents to be here. McKenzie, unusually, was still sound asleep. Paige had checked on her twice already.

She opened the door to find Valentino standing there. He looked good, even for someone with bloodshot eyes and hair that appeared to have been raked
all night. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him to leave then she spied the brown bakery bag under his arm at the same time a waft of yeasty goodness reached her nose.

‘Oh, God,' she said, grabbing the bag, her mouth watering already. ‘Come in,' she ordered, turning on her heel as she opened the bag and the warm sweet smell of freshly baked croissants hit her olfactory system.

Valentino blinked as Paige disappeared as quickly as she had appeared. He looked at the space where his offering had been and was now gone. He'd been expecting many things this morning. More tears. More anger. Recriminations.

Certainly not this.

Hunger was a good sign, yes?

He found her in the kitchen, tearing chunks off a croissant and stuffing them into her mouth. She was making short work of it. It was compelling viewing as flakes of pastry stuck to her lips and she made little noises of pleasure at the back of her throat as each morsel hit her taste buds.

In fact, he was rather turned on.

When Paige opened her eyes Valentino was the first thing she saw, leaning casually in her doorway. She wasn't sure if it was the morning light or the sugar rush but he looked pretty good there.

‘Do you own anything that's not ten sizes too big?' he mused.

‘Sit.' She gestured to the stool opposite, ignoring him as she stuffed the last piece of her croissant into her
mouth. She turned and retrieved some plates from the cupboard behind her and placed a croissant on each one, pushing his towards him.

She nodded at the side counter. ‘Coffee percolator if you want one.'

Valentino would rather never drink coffee again than settle for the stuff that Australians euphemistically called coffee. ‘Not even if I was dying,' he said dryly.

Paige laughed. She actually laughed at the disdain on his face. ‘Snob.' And then she tore some off her second croissant and devoured it. ‘God, this is so-o-o good,' she sighed, licking her fingers.

Valentino temporarily lost his train of thought. Watching her eat was gastronomic pornography. ‘Your appetite has returned, I see.'

She nodded. ‘I'm so-o-o hungry. I'd forgotten how good things taste,' she said around another mouthful.

‘Pleased I could be of service.' He made a mental note to bring a wider array of tempting goodies every time he called in. Which hopefully would be often.

Valentino watched her choose a third croissant, bringing it to her lips, opening her mouth but stopping before she took the first bite. ‘Oh, I'm sorry. This is yours,' she said, placing it back on top of the bag.