Valiant Heart (14 page)

Chapter Eighteen

Choices

I pushed past him out of the bathroom, my confession apparently shocking him too much to stop me. He snagged my wrist just as I thought I'd escaped and forced me to turn around.

He was mad. His lips pulled into an ugly sneer, which was quite a feat for someone as beautiful as Lance. His eyes were hard, cold. It actually hurt my heart to see. I was ruining this man. I was tainting him.

“You wanted to break the bond?” His words came out slowly, calculated, like he was daring me to say yes.

“I did.” I tugged my arm but his vise-like grip was immovable.

“Why?” His muscles were tense, his body seeming to vibrate, tone demanding a response. “Why would you do such a thing?”

“Because I don't want you,” I lied.

He flinched, shook his head. “I expect honesty from a Huntress. You're acting like a coward. Fess up or shut up.”

It was my turn to flinch. I pulled back and this time he let me go. I put distance between us but didn't turn away, meeting his eyes with defiance. “You make me weak. You, the one who is supposed to bolster me, to add to my strength, you make me weak. You make me err. I get distracted. I become vulnerable. I don't like the way you make me feel. There is no chance of a future for us. Men don't belong among the Amazons. Hunters are barely tolerated in small doses. I can't have you and so I wanted to set you free.”

My tone was cold even though my heart was breaking. Traitorous, stupid thing beating hard and panicky in my chest. I wanted to take it all back. I knew I couldn't. The truth was out. I was no coward.

“Breaking the bond will make you weak,” Lance said.

“You don't know that.”

“Neither do you, Ariana.” He stepped toward me, his face losing the hard edge. “You didn't let it happen though, you came for me.”

“It's not what you think.” I steeled myself, the words almost not coming out. “I realized that Kelly would lose her ability to track Andrew. Couldn't let that happen.”

Not the whole truth but close enough. He didn't need to know about our plans for Andrew. It was Amazon business anyway.

He opened his mouth to say something when, with a pounding crack, the door to my cabin flung open and Huntresses streamed in.

“Ariana.” Greer entered, sword in hand, authority radiating. “On your knees, Huntress.”

“What the fuck?” Lance started to block them, as if he could do anything naked and without weapons.

The Huntresses bullied him back.

Greer leveled her sword at my throat. “I said get on your knees, Huntress.”

This was my reckoning. I'd been expecting it. Two lives lay on my shoulders. Two Huntresses dead under my command. I lowered to my knees, arms at my sides. She'd been informed of Paige's death, of course, by someone other than me. Another grievance at my feet. I should have been the one to tell her.

“What are you doing, Greer?” Lance bellowed.

“Harper, remove him,” Greer said with a flick of her head before turning her attention back to me. “You are charged with the negligent deaths of two under your command. What do you plea?”

I looked up at her, my throat thick. So many ways my punishment could go. “Guilty.”

“What? No fucking way! Ariana, are you cra—” Lance's words cut off as Harper stepped forward and the two of them disappeared.

“Now that that racket is done with.” Greer lowered the sword. “Queen Val has decreed your punishment in advance. It's good that you've acknowledged your fault. I knew you would though.” She sheathed the sword and smiled down at me. “You're to be shackled.”

My stomach twisted. Shackling. Not an outright death sentence. Depending on the length of time, it could majorly impact my ability to survive. Opting out of battle was not in the cards for me. Ever.

“One month of shackling and suspension of your duties during that time.”

“I'm coming on the hunt for Kelly's mate.” This was unfair. Shackling was one thing, removing my choice to continue with the mission was beyond cruel. And Greer knew it.

Greer stared down at me, her face a mask. No reaction slipping out. “That's impossible. You'll be weak and a liability.”

I cringed, hating that word. “I'd rather die a warrior than die a coward.”

“There will be other battles, Ariana. You'll sit this one out, suffer your punishment in solitude, reflect on your errors and misjudgments.”

“Artemis indicated that I must accompany Kelly on her quest.” An ace up my sleeve. She hadn't said those words exactly but the idea had been there.

See this mission through. Do not be led astray.

Greer eyed me with curiosity, not surprised, definitely suspicious. “Did she now?” Greer contemplated my words for a minute, biting her bottom lip as she mulled it over. “This doesn't change the punishment but I'll speak to the Queen about Artemis's wishes.”

I nodded.

Greer motioned for me to stand. I rose somewhat reluctantly, shuddering a bit as Greer moved closer. God, I hated this. Shackling meant that Greer would siphon my powers, take my strength to a certain extent as well. Battle would be harder. I'd be at a disadvantage, almost equal to a human, almost helpless. Victories might be impossible. Death
very
possible. I'd only ever had it happen once before. A week of punishment that had been torturous. A month would be beyond bearable.

She laid her hands on either side of my face, her eyes flickering with different emotions. She didn't like it either. Taking powers was hard on her as well. I had to remember that. There was a fine line where her lust for more battled against the iron-like control to take just enough. My life was in her hands, literally. If she took too much, she would kill me and keep my powers for eternity. Just as she had when she gained her ability of telepathy. A mistake she'd never forgiven herself for, which was why she rarely used the powers she'd stolen. Queen Val prized Greer as an enforcer, the sole policing body of the tribe. Her ability to shackle a Huntress was enough to keep us in line. Minor squabbles being dealt with quietly. My mistake was too loud to hide. Not that I would have. I desired a reminder that my failure to lead effectively came with a price.

I sucked in a deep breath, let it out slowly, then nodded at Greer to go ahead and closed my eyes.

She pressed her lips to mine. A chill ran through my whole body, bone deep and settling in. The essence of my Huntress powers seeped from my core, pain flickering like electrical pulses as instinct fought to keep it within. I felt like I was falling, dizzy, disoriented, trying not to fight what was happening. My instinct rallied, pushing back against the attack, attempting to block the theft of something so vital to my being. My ability to mend was like a fire that was lit at the time of birth and forever stayed burning. But Greer's powers were too strong. She yanked, tearing it from me in a whoosh, my body growing limp as she pulled more and more, sapping me of energy as she did. Her hands on my face were the only things keeping me from falling to the floor completely.

When she was done she pressed her forehead to mine. “I'm sorry,” she whispered.

I knew she meant it. Her vow of loyalty made Queen Val's bidding a must, but Greer hated her duty, considered it a violation. She would carry guilt for the duration of my punishment and yet she'd never show it. A true warrior and leader. Someone I aspired to be.

She stepped away, the loss of her proximity kicking my heart. It was done. I was no longer a Huntress in any way but name. For a temporary eternity.

I could barely move, my body so weighed down by the loss. I felt hands lifting me to my bed, something pressed to my lips, liquid seeping slowly down my throat.

“This will help,” Ella whispered against my ear.

Someone laid a sheet gently over me. And then there was only silence and darkness and a hole in my soul so profound I wept as I drifted into unconsciousness.

I was sitting alone on a huge rock with nothing but planes of the greenest grass spread around me in every direction. The sky was so blue, with wisps of clouds moving lazily. The rock was warm under my skin, the radiating heat a comfort. I was rooted to that rock. Wouldn't have left it for anything. I was clothed as well. Wrapped in white cotton, the fabric hugged my body, leather securing it here and there.

Despite the pleasantness around me, my heart hurt and I felt empty. I was missing something vitally important but I couldn't grasp what it was.

I frowned, struggling to recall. And out of a cloud came a large dove, soaring high and then gliding down. I watched with awe as it landed on the rock, just at my fingertips. How strange. I smiled, reached out to stroke the bird and then it disappeared.

“You carry much sadness, daughter.”

I spun around to see a woman seated behind me, legs crossed, hands resting on her knees, expression calm, serene even. The image of her wavered, like she was a hologram or something, not solid. Familiar faces shimmered over hers, Melonie, Greer, Ella, and then back to hers. Her skin sparkled under the sun. She wore leather and cloth, wrapped around her body in a practical way to give her the greatest range of motion, similar to my own attire. A bow and quiver of arrows lay by her side. Her chestnut hair was pulled in a loose bundle, tendrils curling around her face and neck. Her eyes were green. The brightest green I'd ever seen, like the grass around us. Looking at her made my heart ache with love.

“Artemis.” Tears welled in my eyes. “My Goddess.” I bowed my head, feeling unworthy of such a meeting.

“Yes, yes, eyes up, Ariana.” She sighed. “Things are quite a mess down there, aren't they?”

I frowned, fidgeting a little, feeling like I was being scolded by my mother. “A mess?”

Artemis let out a snort of amusement. “Lazarus's death has triggered a maelstrom of conflicts, disorder, chaos among the beasts. The Huntresses are still too far scattered and undertrained, the entire Order divided, all missing an opportunity to rid the world of this menace. Huntresses are being captured, murdered.”

“The Amazons are working to fix that though. We're trying to set things right, to empower ourselves, to find the Huntresses before the beasts do.”

“By cutting down your beasts and avoiding your Hunters?” Artemis shook her head. “To empower the Huntress alone comes with a burden, a responsibility to carry the weight of humanity on your shoulders. You can't make enemies with all. Whatever gave you women the idea that all Hunters are evil, I will never understand.”

“The Burning Times. We were provoked.”

“Ah, yes. Your Greer and Queen Val, two women with agendas that serve their own tragic histories. Have you ever heard of power in numbers? All this disjointed fighting is making us weak.”

“Of course, but how can we trust the Order, the Hunters after what they've done? Even now, with Kelly's mate using her powers against her to serve his ridiculous vows.”

“The Order and the Hunters have lost their way. They've forgotten to pay homage as they should and have lost what is most magical about their strength. The Huntress is the conduit. Your role should be one of education, uniting Huntress with her mate, bringing the power back where it belongs. Separated, you are all like pieces in a game with no aim or direction. It takes a team working together for any success.”

“You are the Goddess of independence, wild freedom. We model ourselves after you. Your messages to us—”

“Have been garbled, manipulated by desire, controlled by vengeance and anger.” She rubbed her hand over her brow. “Trust me, mistakes have been made, I realize this. What I've been trying to do…” She sighed. “It was motivated by love.”

“I don't understand.”

“You need to be a leader, Ariana. The one Huntress to rise up and change the way the rest of your tribe perceives things. They see you with your Hunter and they pity you. They think that he makes you weak, that he is a liability. I know that you believe it to be true as well.”

I gulped, hung my head, shame burning hot on my cheeks. “He does make me weak. I lost two warriors because of his distractions.”

“No, you didn't. I was there…I mean, I witnessed the attacks from above.” She cringed. “I know that it wasn't your fault. You carry guilt for crimes that are not yours to bear. Not now, not in your past. Not even those that were choices.”

My choices, one thing over another, all selfish and resulting in death for someone else.

She turned to the side and appeared to open a portal in midair, like she was parting the sky as one would a curtain. She reached in and withdrew a long leather bundle. With a wave of her hand, she closed the portal and laid the bundle in front of me. “This is a gift for you, Ariana. Take it as a vow of my confidence in your abilities to lead the tribe to unity. There is a common enemy. You're just looking in the wrong direction.”

I ran my fingers along the top flap, the leather coarse and worn. With a flick I revealed its contents. Inside was a beautifully engraved scabbard of black leather. A sword. From a Goddess. I gulped the giant lump in my throat, emotions riding high. What a gift. The hilt was engraved with symbols, letters I didn't understand.

“Those are your vows as a Huntress. Vows spoken by your foremother, Alkaia. That is a promise inscribed there. This sword will always hit true when aimed at the heart of a beast. It will intensify your Huntress poison. A beast won't last long after a strike from this weapon. It is also a divining talisman; it will lead you to Huntresses in need of your help. And there's something else.” She pulled the scabbard toward her, revealing a blade of twined metals. It looked like steel and something else, a bronze-like metal, lying side by side, fused together to make a formidable weapon. “This is a sword of free will. If you strike a Huntress across her chest with this side of the blade, the bond to her Hunter will be severed forever and permanently, freeing the Hunter to live as a human once again. The Huntress will continue with her life, powers intact, solitary but for her tribe. No mate will ever warm her heart again. Not unless she seeks the heat of her beast for comfort.”